[big fish]-3月6日-Argument81-by dgxy08

dgxy08UID: 2599486

TOPIC: ARGUMENT81 - Allergies are an overreaction of the immune system to certain stimuli. One view is that allergies can develop as the result of childhood exposure to certain irritants, such as dust or animal dander, while the immune system is not yet mature. Another view is that exposure to particular bacteria early in childhood actually triggers the proper development of the immune system, and that limiting exposure to these bacteria through excessive hygiene can cause children's immune systems to overreact to certain irritants later on. A new study supports the second view: children who are washed especially frequently and whose parents clean their homes especially frequently are more likely to develop allergies than are other children. So in order to reduce the incidence of allergies in children and adults, parents should not limit children's exposure to irritants or bacteria.
WORDS: 211          TIME: 00:31:00          DATE: 2010-3-6 20:16:53
The author asserts that allow the children's exposure to the irritants or bacteria  can contribute to reduce the incidence of allergies in children and adults. In order to bolster  the argument a new study is cited. However, careful consideration of this supporting evdence reveals that it lends little credible to support the author' s claim.
First,  useful would be the study of the people who take part in. Without the size of the sample , we cannot assure the assumption supported by the author. As we all know, the smaller the size, the less reliable the study.Besides, the process of the survy should be showed from which we can believe it is justify.
Second, the author claim that the childern who are more clear are more likely to develop allergies. However, there is no evidence to assure that these thirdren would not like to exposure to the bacteria refered in the second view.Maybe they exposed to the irrain metioned in the first view. Given these possiblites , the argument can not be taken seriously.
Third, the author does not  point out the reason why we should discard the first view that exposure to certain irritants can cause allergies. It is entirely possibile that both of the two action, exposure to certain irritants and exposure to particular bacteria will result in the allergies. Without eliminating this possiblity, the assert can be rejected out of hand.

In sum, the argument is uncredible as it stands. It would be more relible that the author should  provide more information about the survy. And I would like to know the reseaon why the first view that allergies result from the childhood expose to cerntain irritants.

sunny球UID: 2693880

The author asserts that allow the children's exposure to the irritants or bacteria can contribute to reduce the incidence of allergies in children and adults. In order to bolster the argument a new study is cited. (In order to bolster the argument, the author also cites a new study and finds that… 颠倒一下句子不会感觉头重脚轻)However, careful consideration of this supporting evdence （evidence）reveals that it lends little credible to support the author' s claim.
First, useful would be the study of the people who take part in. Without the size of the sample, we cannot assure the assumption supported by the author. As we all know, the smaller the size, the less reliable the study. Besides, the process of the survy(survey) should be showed from which we can believe it is justify.
Second, the author claim that the childern(children) who are more clear(clean) are more likely to develop allergies(more clean的程度没说清 可具体些). However, there is no evidence to assure that these thirdren(children) would not like to exposure to the bacteria refered in the second view. Maybe they exposed to the irrain metioned(mentioned)in the first view. Given these possiblites (possibilities), the argument can not be taken seriously.

Third, the author does not point out the reason why we should discard the first view that exposure to certain irritants can cause allergies. It is entirely possibile(possible) that both of the two action, exposure to certain irritants and exposure to particular bacteria will result in the allergies. Without eliminating this possiblity(possibility), the assert can be rejected out of hand.

In sum, the argument is uncredible(incredible) as it stands. It would be more relible(reliable) that the author should
provide more information about the survy(survey). And I would like to know the reseaon(reason) why the first view that allergies result from the childhood expose to cerntain(certain) irritants.

建议：1.每段可以具体一点~增加一些具体的可能性去推翻假设，多背一点连词连接它们。
2.背一点通用的可能性，比如某某不是唯一决定因素，还有一些因素诸如~很多都差不多~


我不会写时看北美，里面就是举了很多可能性，虽然说来说去还是那点，我们可以这样以牙还牙~