修改过的issue48 求拍～

algabraUID: 2748722

原链接：https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1078199-1-1.html   按照pluka的意见修改了一下，求拍~

TOPIC: ISSUE48 - "The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."

Some people argue that common people should be paid more attention by historians, since the most significant events and trends in history were made possible just by these nameless people rather than the few heroes. Although the reason is true, this claim ignores the difficulty of studying common people’s stories. Furthermore, acquaintance with these people could also be made indirectly through studying the famous few.

First, I strongly agree that common people, instead of heroes, are the real source of strength which promotes the history forward. It is trivial people, even slaves, who cultivate spacious farm, herd cattle and horse, make clothes and build houses. They have created most material wealth consumed by the society. And their will and power was as important as their labor. Sometimes their power was so weak that it was ignore by historians, but when accumulated to some extent this power was sufficient to change the history. The bourgeois revolutions in Europe were persuasive samples. The richer and richer middle class required for more political rights and promoted the bourgeois revolutions in England, France and other nations. These revolutions brought the feudal society into capital society and established a totally new social regime. Though those leaders of the revolutions seemed to change the trends of history by their efforts only, they were indeed relied on the support of common people. They discerned the trends of history and utilized the chances emerged to fulfill great achievements, but the trends were made by accumulated efforts of the general public. Without support of large groups of people, heroes were not capable of change the history by him himself.

However, research in history is a little different from the real process of history. It is much more difficult for historians to study common people who lived long time age than study those shining names. There were little materials remained about them. On the contrary, many records, like biographies, history literature or governmental documents, could help us know much about those great individuals. Therefore historians had to place great emphasis on those famous individuals instead. Perhaps in the future, thanks to modern technologies and saving methods such as cameras, DV, blogs, future historians could be able to put as much emphasis on common people as on heroes when they study the time we live in. But nowadays it is too far from reality.

On the other hand, we still could learn much about common civilians in every periods of history by studying the famous individuals who are representatives of general people. Their experiences and thoughts must have something same with people they stood for. For example, we could learn the thirst for freedom of slaves through the struggle of Spartacus and the sorrow suffered by black people through Martin Luther King’s experiences. If only we do not forget the general majority behind the famous few, we can still touch them through those heroes.

To sum up, only through studying significant heroes and their traits could we master the process of history. Even so, we are still able to avoid ignoring those people who worked hard to promote the proceeding of human societies.

江雪UID: 2790520

should be paid more attention——>should be paid more attention to，to是介词，且不可省略。

who cultivate spacious farm, herd cattle and horse, make clothes and build houses——>缺乏名词单复数的概念。

most material wealth——>我猜你是想用the majority of。

their will and power——>their will power就可以。

it was ignore by historians——>ignored。

required for——>require作动词=ask for，这里去掉for。

brought the feudal society into capital society——>underwent a transition from feudalism to capitalism。

totally new——>brand new较好。

they were indeed relied on the support of common people——>were relied on不对，可以考虑rely on。。。或者were dependent/reliant on。

capable of change the history by him himself——>be capable of +doing，him多余。

little materials——>little不修饰可数名词。

Their experiences and thoughts must have something same with people they stood for——>same=in common。

algabraUID: 2748722

2# 江雪

谢谢帮我指出语言问题~

只是那个will and power， 我想说的是意愿和力量，不是意志力

那个cattle and horse，我如果写成cattle and horses 的话word就会报语法错误... 我很奇怪

别的都说的挺对的 :-)