argument209 求拍，快考试了大家帮忙看看

hailidUID: 2744864

TOPIC: ARGUMENT209 - The following recommendation was made by the Human Resources Manager to the board of directors of the Fancy Toy Company.
"In the last three quarters of this year, under the leadership of our president, Pat Salvo, our profits have fallen considerably. Thus, we should ask for her resignation in return for a generous severance package. In Pat's place, we should appoint Rosa Winnings. Rosa is currently president of Starlight Jewelry, a company whose profits have increased dramatically over the past several years. Although we will have to pay Rosa twice the salary that Pat has been receiving, it will be well worth it because we can soon expect our profits to increase considerably."
WORDS: 491          TIME: 00:21:57          DATE: 2010-4-18 11:03:46
In this argument, the Human Resources Manager recommends to the board of directors of the Fancy Toy Company that the company should dismiss Pat Salvo, and appoint Rosa Winning instead. To strengthen this recommendation, the author points out that the profits of Fancy Toy company have reduced considerably under the leadership of Pat Salvo, while the profit of Starlight Jewelry increased dramatically past several years under the leadership of Rosa. Furthermore, he reasons that it will be worthy even though the salary of Rosa is twice higher. However, I find this argument unconvincing for several reasons.
To begin with, the argument relies on the assumption that the fallen profits is due to Pat Salvo's poor leadership. However, the author provides no evidence to substantiate it. There are some other factors also can lead to this decline. Perhaps the socity is undergoing economic depression and people do not have enough spare money to buy the toys. Or perhaps the number of children who is the main clients of toy has decreased. Without ruling out these possibilities, the author cannot convince me that Pat Salvo is responsible for the profit decline.
Secondly, the author unfairly assumes that Rosa Winning who did well in Starlight Jewelry can also do well in Fancy Toy Company. Yet it might not be the case. Common sense informs me that the attributes of these two companies are quite different. He did well in one company can not automatically say he will do well in another companies. Since the author does not provide evidence that these two companies can be managed in similar methods, this assumption is dubious at best.
Thirdly, the author assumes too hastily that appointing Rosa will be worthy. It might be only his expectation since there is no evidence to substantiate this assumption. Even assuming he can do much better than Pat Salvo, it is possible that the money he earn for the company cannot offset the money he get from the company. Thus, this assumption is untenable.
Finally, the author fails to consider the possibility of improvement of Pat Salvo. perhaps he already knows the reason of the declining trend and has figured out the solution. And also he tries his best to improve his knowlege about management and has already made a great progress. If he continue to serve for the company, it might be reverse the declining trend. Without accounting for this possibility, the author cannot confidently claim that Pat Salvo should be dismissed.
In sum, the argument is untenable as it stands. To bolster it, the author must provide more evidence to substantiate that the decline of profit is in fact due to Pat Salvo poor leadership, that the management method between P and S are quite similar, and that he can increase profits considerably. To better assess this argument I also need to know that whether Pat Salvo has realized his mistakes and has made some effort to improve them.
求拍

xiaoyaozi5566UID: 2510336

https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1087763-1-1.html
互改

zhangx125UID: 2352430

你好，我俩壶盖：

In this argument, the Human Resources Manager recommends to the board of directors of the Fancy Toy Company that the company should dismiss Pat Salvo, and appoint Rosa Winning instead. To strengthen this recommendation, the author points out that the profits of Fancy Toy company have reduced considerably under the leadership of Pat Salvo, while the profit of Starlight Jewelry increased dramatically past several years under the leadership of Rosa. Furthermore, he reasons that it will be worthy even though the salary of Rosa is twice higher. However, I find this argument unconvincing for several reasons.
第一段概述写的很好，但可以再简洁一点。“To strengthen this recommendation, the author points out that the profits of Fancy Toy company have reduced considerably under the leadership of Pat Salvo, while the profit of Starlight Jewelry increased dramatically past several years under the leadership of Rosa.”我觉得可以缩一下，与上面一句连起来。比如“...instead, by comparing ... with...”

To begin with, the argument relies on the assumption that the fallen profits is due to Pat Salvo's poor leadership. However, the author provides no evidence to substantiate it. There are some other factors also can lead to this decline. Perhaps the socity is undergoing economic depression and people do not have enough spare money to buy the toys. Or perhaps the number of children who is the main clients of toy has decreased. Without ruling out these possibilities, the author cannot convince me that Pat Salvo is responsible for the profit decline.
不一定是Pat Salvo的责任，这点你已论述了。可以再论述一下“三个季度的时间就作评价是不是太武断了”，说不定Pat Salvo的政策刚开始生效，我看你"Finally..."那段也提到了一点，我觉得可以和这段并起来。还可以质疑一下他所谓的“fallen considerably”到底到个什么程度，很模糊。另外，其他的玩具公司是个什么情况也没给出，可能Fancy Toy已经算是下降的少的了。

Secondly, the author unfairly assumes that Rosa Winning who did well in Starlight Jewelry can also do well in Fancy Toy Company. Yet it might not be the case. Common sense informs me that the attributes of these two companies are quite different. He did well in one company can not automatically say he will do well in another companies. Since the author does not provide evidence that these two companies can be managed in similar methods, this assumption is dubious at best.
错误类比，你已经论述了。但是Rosa的公司在“the past several years”狂赚，这种趋势怎么样呢？如果这种趋势没保持住，是不是她的能力也有问题呢？即使这个公司会一直狂赚，这一切都要归功于Rosa吗？会不会是她有一个好的管家，有前人制定的合理的政策，她只是坐享其成呢？


Thirdly, the author assumes too hastily that appointing Rosa will be worthy. It might be only his expectation since there is no evidence to substantiate this assumption. Even assuming he can do much better than Pat Salvo, it is possible that the money he earn for the company cannot offset the money he get from the company. Thus, this assumption is untenable.
就算是Pat Salvo失职，Rosa很有能力，就一定要请她吗？她在Fancy Toy就一定能干得好吗（你上段已论述了）？会不会有比她更适合的人选呢？HR没有提供更多的信息。双倍工资也是急于概括，你已经论述了。此外，即使以上的可能都被排除了，Rosa就是最合适的人选，得出会大大赚钱的结论也是鲁莽的。HR没有考虑竞争、成本的因素。

Finally, the author fails to consider the possibility of improvement of Pat Salvo. perhaps he already knows the reason of the declining trend and has figured out the solution. And also he tries his best to improve his knowlege about management and has already made a great progress. If he continue to serve for the company, it might be reverse the declining trend. Without accounting for this possibility, the author cannot confidently claim that Pat Salvo should be dismissed.
放到讨论Pat Salvo的段落中去。

In sum, the argument is untenable as it stands. To bolster it, the author must provide more evidence to substantiate that the decline of profit is in fact due to Pat Salvo poor leadership, that the management method between P and S are quite similar, and that he can increase profits considerably. To better assess this argument I also need to know that whether Pat Salvo has realized his mistakes and has made some effort to improve them.
Pat Salvo学习进步的事，我觉得可以不用管。

hailidUID: 2744864

恩,改得很深刻. 你分析的很透彻。。我这就去帮你改。。
我重新写了下,
TOPIC: ARGUMENT209 - The following recommendation was made by the Human Resources Manager to the board of directors of the Fancy Toy Company.

"In the last three quarters of this year, under the leadership of our president, Pat Salvo, our profits have fallen considerably. Thus, we should ask for her resignation in return for a generous severance package. In Pat's place, we should appoint Rosa Winnings. Rosa is currently president of Starlight Jewelry, a company whose profits have increased dramatically over the past several years. Although we will have to pay Rosa twice the salary that Pat has been receiving, it will be well worth it because we can soon expect our profits to increase considerably."
WORDS: 491          TIME: 00:21:57          DATE: 2010-4-18 11:03:46

In this argument, the Human Resources Manager recommends to the board of directors of the Fancy Toy Company that the company should dismiss Pat Salvo, and appoint Rosa Winning instead, by comparing the profit trend of the companies they lead respectively. Furthermore, he reasons that it will be worthy even though the salary of Rosa is twice higher. However, I find this argument unconvincing for several reasons.

To begin with, the argument relies on the assumption that the fallen profits is due to Pat Salvo's poor leadership. However,this might not be the case. There are some other factors also can lead to this decline. Perhaps the cost of material and labor has increased tremendously out of the control of Pat, Or perhaps the number of children who is the main clients of toy has decreased; or perhaps the toy business is seasonal and it is always the most profitable in the coming quarter. Moreover, perhaps Fancy Toy Company's profit situation is much better than all the other Toy companies because of the effective leadership of Pat. Without ruling out these possibilities, the author cannot convince me that Pat Salvo is responsible for the profit decline.

Secondly, the athor unfairly assumes that it is Rosa that brings about increased profits. However, similarly, this need not be the case. Perhaps there is a big prosper in Jewry business and every Jewelry company is experiencing the high profit; or perhaps Rosa just continues carrying out the policies made by his predecessor. These scenarios tell the increased profits have nothing to do with Rosa's leadership, which can serve to undermine the recommendation of appointing Rosa.

Thirdly, even the author can substantiate the forgoing two assumptions, he unfairly assumes that Rosa Winning who did well in Starlight Jewelry can also do well in Fancy Toy Company. However, common sense informs me that the attributes of these two businesses are quite different. Since the author does not provide evidence that these two businesses are sufficiently similar that Rosa's experience and skill in one business will transfer to the other, this assumption is dubious at best.

Finally, the author assumes too hastily that appointing Rosa will be worthy. It might be only his expectation since there is no evidence to substantiate this assumption. Even assuming he can do much better than Pat Salvo, it is possible that the money he earn for the company cannot offset the money he get from the company. Furthermore, the author fails to account for other candidates, who might be more quified than Rosa. Thus, this assumption is untenable.

In sum, the argument is not well supported as it stands. To bolster it, the author must provide more evidence to substantiate that the declining profit is in fact due to Pat Salvo, that Rosa is responsible for Starlight's profitability, and that Rosa's abilities will transfer to the toy business.To better assess this argument I also need to know how long Pat and Rosa have served as presidents of their respective companies.
计时就很紧张了，考虑不到那么多。。

hailidUID: 2744864

2# xiaoyaozi5566
晓得了，谢谢牵线。。

xiaoyaozi5566UID: 2510336

22分钟能写出这么多，已经不容易了