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最近一直在版里潜水，瞻仰了gt里的各位高手，激发了我与大家分享的愿望——
如果有谁用这个咚咚判过分，希望也晒出来让大家参考~
更加希望有经验的seniors们能冒泡指点，并评说一二……
我是5月4日的AW，bow~
首先是我的被判了5分的issue
题目如下
"Wisdom is rightfully attributed not to people who know what to look for in life but to people who know what to overlook."
我的文章如下 Life sources for every single person on the earth are limited. This is such an unfortunate and disappointing fact, also a certain and definite truth as well. Just as every single person ages with time passing by, one cannot avoid the destination of choice, a choice determining where and when to focus one's limited energy or time to ensure that the only precious resources are not a waste. Only through this is wisdom possible to be born.
The wisest sages are those who possess strong will to pursue after one goal through their whole life without distracting attention to the trivial. Famous people like Einstein even forgot to look after his dinner while searching for answers to the theoretical physical problem puzzling him all the time. Given that this is a somewhat extreme case, we do not have to see far to find evidence of such wisdom. Almost all the excellent students around us from elementary schools to colleges are those who focus attention quite tensely and of course ignore other youth fads such like the widely-known super stars, cloth brands, or sports games. They seldom go out with classmates doing meaningless window shopping, gossiping about other people’s secrets or private lives. Although they may find relief in such light playing, the wise students are reluctant to pay their precious attention on it. They are so good at overlooking trivial things in life. No wonder they always remember the important principles of math, the significant years and names of history, the detailed reasoning behind physical science. Thanks to their wise method of allocating time and energy!
How are they able to achieve that magic ability of ignoring trivial things, you may wonder? Because as all we know, trivial things are often so attracting and interesting that it is hard to resist concerning them. Well, I may present something contained in wisdom that effectively attain that.
The first element is great passion and motivation for the primary goal you are chasing after. Imagine that a hunter chases after a rabbit. If the rabbit is fat and nurturing, and the hunter has been hungry for several days. How much desire lies behind the hunter's chasing action? He will surely not be distracted by seemingly colorful flowers on the roadside. In the same token, as long as a person is driven by his innermost thirsty for knowledge and advancement, he will hold on to what he has chosen so firmly that anything nearby cannot stop him from chasing.
For the second but not less, wisdom is always accompanied by perseverance and strong will. It impossible for South Africa President Mandela to persist to his goal of civil rights for so many years if he gave up his dream so early in the prison. He has to overlook the torturing and contempt he had experienced in jail to stick to his ideal. It is also impossible for Black People Leader Martin Luther King to hold on through so many obstacles to finally accomplish a civil right movement. The same is for Mahatma Gandhi, who champions the civil disobedience so fervently that finally the goal is realized. How many unimaginable difficulties and hardness has each of the wise leaders overcome? A countless number. Thus one of the indispensable characters in persons of wisdom is perseverance.
With the passion for the goal and the powerful will to resist distracters, the only left thing is the determination. With all the three of them, wisdom is never something hard to grasp. In the modern information era, people without good discerning ability easily get lost their directions in the huge amount of bits of digits. Sometimes this information overloading even causes mental and physical stress, leading people to burn out of their mind and energy. Actually, this tragedy is totally unnecessary to happen only if people can squeeze a little time out for judging wisely and calmly what is related to their personal life goal and what is not, at the same time immediately disposing of the unrelated information directly and quickly without hesitating and vacillation.
Once we master the capability of wisdom, the realization of life goal begins automatically. The same process of approaching success and achievement is also brought on. Among them, what you always have to remind yourself is not to get distracted and lost in astronomical possible alternatives but to persist. 726 words
对应给出的6分范文是官方范文60篇里的，不再赘述，有需要的我会发
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其次是我被判3分的argument
题目是 The following appeared as a letter to the editor of a local newspaper. "Five years ago, we residents of Morganton voted to keep the publicly owned piece of land known as Scott Woods in a natural, undeveloped state. Our thinking was that, if no shopping centers or houses were built there, Scott Woods would continue to benefit our community as a natural parkland. But now that our town planning committee wants to purchase the land and build a school there, we should reconsider this issue. If the land becomes a school site, no shopping centers or houses can be built there, and substantial acreage would probably be devoted to athletic fields. There would be no better use of land in our community than this, since a large majority of our children participate in sports, and Scott Woods would continue to benefit our community as natural parkland."
我的文章如下
The editor of the local newspaper in Morganton (M) supported the suggestion of the town planning committee that the land known as Scott Woods (SW) should be purchased for the purpose of building a new school on it with no restrain. However, construction on land will change the nature character of the land opposing to the willingness of local people and will not necessarily be the best use of the land. This decision is rather significant to the local people and should be reconsidered under more sufficiant evaluation.
For the first thing, the editor unfairly assumes that athletic fields possess the same lovely, benefitial and attracting characters as a nature, undeveloped land. Local citizens might intend to conserve SW as unexploited for its natrual charming scenery such as flowers, trees and grasslands, even including the winding paths laying among the plants, on which people can take a walk with lovers, friends or family people after meals leisurely and pleasantly. What if all of the natural beauty is supplanted by artifically-arranged athletic equipments and facilities? The rigid patterns of square sports field is surely not attracting any more. Especially for the elderly people who cannot enjoy fierce sports games anymore. Without considering the physical and psychological demands of the local dwellers, it is morally wrong to deprive the citizens' lovely natural park.
Moreover, even for the children, the replacement of sports field for the original charming SW is not necessarily a preference. What if the local children enjoy fishing in the rivers nearby and running through the trees chasing after butterflies instead of doing repeated, monotonous weight-lifting with the gymastic apparatus in the athletic sports. In this circumstance, the athletic fields would be a superfluous alternative. At the same time, the children will be sad about loosing their previous precious natrual SW.
Another important assumption given by the editor which is also unwarranted is that turning SW into a school is a better choice than any other possible plans. What about changing SW into a real natural parkland with more hotels nearby and more creation facilities in it? In this way, the undeveloped piece of land will shine even more brilliantly and attract visitors all over the world which will bring economic benefits to the commnity without destroying its natural beauty. Also, local citizen can enter the park freely and experience better service than before. Thus, we can obtain a win-win situation instead of a win-lose balance. Also, the town planning committe in M may find some other more suitable empty land to build a new school, where families owning children are densely distributed, to provide more convenient schooling.
How to use SW in M is a serious decision both for the living conditions of local people and for the budget allocation of local government. Thus, every aspects of the situation should be considered and evaluated carefully to maximize the benefits and well-being of the citizens. Without providing sufficient evidence and alternatives, the editor 493 words
给出的6分范文是我没有见过的，而且说实话我没有看得很懂，不知道大家见过没有，如下
Score 6 This argument is not fully developed. The first statement is that the town decided to keep the piece of property undeveloped, thereby benefiting the community as a public parkland. How is the property in its undeveloped state to be used as public parkland which would be safe and useful to the citizens of the community? Does public parkland not deem the property as developed, at least partially to be of any use in this capacity? Green Glenn may continue to benefit from the lands being undeveloped if and only if the natural elements of the land were of an environmental benefit to the the community, not by its use as a parkland.
Another issue that needs to be discussed in the development of the land into a school site is the transfer of sale to another entity and how the community will maintain control over the land once it has been removed from public ownership into the hands of the town planning committee. From whence will the money come for the development of the land ? What, if any, preventative measures are being taken to ensure that the developers will not change their mind and build houses and/or shopping centers in Green Glenn? Does the town need a new school? What are the current arrangements for public education and community sports and are they in need of this type of property renovation in order to sustaing hte ocmmunity? Would the development of the property into a school be of greater benefit to the community than its use as an undeveloped plot for the environmental benefit?
That substantial acreage is not definitely being devoted to atheletic fields, should cause the people of the community concern. How many buildings will the school entail and what havoc will these buildings wreak on the environment? Will the negative results of improving the land be worth the cost to the community? Green Glenn would no longer be a public parkland if it was used to be developed into a school after being sold into the ownership of the town planning committee. Where do the children currently participate in sports and what is the need for new fields an arenas for the children to continue with their sports? Is the community supported by enough growth to guarantee that the decision to develop the land would still be a positive one in the future? What objections, if any are being raised to the use of the land for this project and not for the partial development of the land into a park and atheletic fields maintaining as much of the lands natural elemetns as possible?
The argument needs to be precise about answering all of these questions. It needs to include a sketch of the plans for the property and data coallated to inform of the rates of growth and the rate of useage of the development by the community over time. It needs to discuss the plans specifically so that the expectations of the community are understood and outlined before the sale is made. More information needs to be given about who will benefit from the changes and in what manner the benefits will come. Will the area maintain any of its previous natural elements? Will the buildings and structure be environemntally suited to the area and be compsed of environmentally safe materials?
The argument would be more persuasive if the entire project was concieved, and carried out by long standing member of the community. It is necessary to know from whom this proposal originates and why it comes in so few years since the property was origianlly deemed to be kept undeveloped. Evidence of need for these changes and examples of how the needs will be met need to be specified in order for this argument to be persuassive. Mention needs to be made of reasons for this property not to be developed and then counterarguments with supportiung examples need to be made as to the benefits would make this proposal much more persuassive.
669 words
以上。
我22号晚上跟实验室去重庆参加会议，26号回来，一定争取上网，如果不能及时互动，回来马上处理，再次感谢~！
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GO
发表于 2010-4-21 20:16:53
回应
发表于 2010-4-21 20:42:08
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