argument167 欢迎拍文互改小组

yaniiUID: 2807225

TOPIC: ARGUMENT167 - A folk remedy* for insomnia, the scent in lavender flowers, has now been proved effective. In a recent study, 30 volunteers with chronic insomnia slept each night for three weeks on lavender-scented pillows in a controlled room where their sleep was monitored. During the first week, volunteers continued to take their usual sleeping medication. They slept soundly but wakened feeling tired. During the second week, the volunteers discontinued their medication. As a result, they slept less soundly than the previous week and felt even more tired. During the third week, the volunteers slept longer and more soundly than in the previous two weeks. This shows that over a short period of time lavender cures insomnia.

*A folk remedy is usually a plant-based form of treatment common to traditional forms of medicine, ones that developed before the advent of modern medical services and technology.

The argument claims that lavender can cure insomnia over a short time. However, its supporting evidence, a half-baked experiment and some assertive assumptions, are susceptible to query, rendering the conclusion based on it unconvincing.

To begin with, the argument introduces an experiment to illustrate that lavender scent ensures longer and sounder sleep. Yet, the author fails to consider alternative explanations for the results of the experiment. Perhaps volunteers slept well in the last period owing to that they have been exhaustive and fatigue after two weeks of poor sleep. Besides, after a period of adapting, the familiar experiment environment may also contribute to their ever-improving sleep quality. Moreover, it's possible that the other factors, say special texture of quilt or sheet in the experimental rooms, a advised appropriate activity and diet during the last week, are conducive to good sleep. Without ruling out all those possible reasons for the results of the study, it is unfairly to attribute the improvement of sleep quality to lavender scent.

On the other hand, what is the filler of the lavender-scented pillows in the experiment? Does the filler contain something refined from lavender, or the scented is only some industrial spice? If it’s in the last situation, the conclusion lavender cures insomnia is extremely groundless.

Even assume that there does exist some lavender extractive in the pillow and it actually benefits the volunteers, it doesn't indicate it can work equally well on other insomniacs. Consider the volunteers are ones that suffer chronic insomnia, what about those acute ones? Will lavender work equally effective? In addition, the author reveals nothing clue about the gender, age, profession, health condition of the 30 volunteers. If those subjects are confined to certain group, say females, young or a particular profession, we can hardly generalize the function of the folk remedy. In the meantime, the mere number of experiment subjects,30, is insufficient to draw any conclusion.

Additionally, the study lasts only three weeks and no further study were conducted to tracking there later sleep condition, whether the insomnia are really cured is hardly to judge. Most possibility is that the subjects only got temporally release and the insomnia recurs repeatedly afterwards. And this possibility serves to undercut the conclusion.

Though well-present, the argument is inherently illogical, and cannot convince even me. To bolster the conclusion and appeal to the medical community, the author had better to provide more information about the experiment as discussed above, and use a control group to confirm it is the lavender scent that contribute to the high sleep quality, and further the study indicate the recurrence of insomnia.

fchenyanUID: 2804020

TOPIC: ARGUMENT167 - A folk remedy* for insomnia, the scent in lavender flowers, has now been proved effective. In a recent study, 30 volunteers with chronic insomnia slept each night for three weeks on lavender-scented pillows in a controlled room where their sleep was monitored. During the first week, volunteers continued to take their usual sleeping medication. They slept soundly but wakened feeling tired. During the second week, the volunteers discontinued their medication. As a result, they slept less soundly than the previous week and felt even more tired. During the third week, the volunteers slept longer and more soundly than in the previous two weeks. This shows that over a short period of time lavender cures insomnia.

*A folk remedy is usually a plant-based form of treatment common to traditional forms of medicine, ones that developed before the advent of modern medical services and technology.

The argument claims that lavender can cure insomnia over a short time. However, its supporting evidence, a half-baked（这个词第一次见） experiment and some assertive assumptions, are susceptible to query, rendering the conclusion based on it unconvincing.

To begin with, the argument introduces an experiment to illustrate that lavender scent ensures longer and sounder sleep. Yet, the author fails to consider alternative explanations for the results of the experiment. Perhaps volunteers slept well in the last period owing to that they have been exhaustive and fatigue after two weeks of poor sleep. Besides, after a period of adapting, the familiar experiment environment may also contribute to their ever-improving sleep quality. Moreover, it's possible that the（the 去掉） other factors, say special texture of quilt or sheet in the experimental rooms, a advised appropriate activity and diet during the last week, are conducive to good sleep. Without ruling out all those possible reasons for the results of the study, it is unfairly to attribute the improvement of sleep quality to lavender scent.

On the other hand, what is the filler of the lavender-scented pillows in the experiment? Does the filler contain something refined from lavender, or the scented is only some industrial spice? If it’s in the last situation, the conclusion lavender cures insomnia is extremely groundless.

Even assume that there does exist some lavender extractive in the pillow and it actually benefits the volunteers, it doesn't indicate it can work equally well on other insomniacs. Consider the volunteers are ones that suffer chronic insomnia, what about those acute ones? Will lavender work（works） equally effective? In addition, the author reveals nothing clue about the gender, age, profession, health condition of the 30 volunteers. If those subjects are confined to certain group, say females, young or a particular profession, we can hardly generalize the function of the folk remedy. In the meantime, the mere number of experiment subjects,30, is insufficient to draw any conclusion.

Additionally, the study lasts only three weeks and no further study were conducted to tracking there later sleep condition, whether the insomnia are really cured is hardly to judge. Most possibility is that the subjects only got temporally release and the insomnia recurs repeatedly afterwards. And this possibility serves to undercut the conclusion.

Though well-present（这个词不但我没见过，而且也觉得你用的不合适）, the argument is inherently illogical, and cannot convince even me. To bolster the conclusion and appeal to the medical community, the author had better to provide more information about the experiment as discussed above, and use a control group to confirm it is the lavender scent that contribute to the high sleep quality, and further the study indicate the recurrence of insomnia.（很多对于我来说都很新鲜的用法，向你学习哈，比如control group,在很多argument的题目中都会涉及到数据不全啊之类的情况，都会建议增加相关信息和对照实验，很好的说）

yaniiUID: 2807225

嘻嘻，有不少词是改时从字典里抠出来的，严重超时且犯规