argument238 欢迎大家拍文

yaniiUID: 2807225

TOPIC: ARGUMENT238 - The following appeared in a memorandum from the president of Mira Vista College to the college's board of trustees."At nearby Green Mountain College, which has more business courses and more job counselors than does Mira Vista College, 90 percent of last year's graduating seniors had job offers from prospective employers. But at Mira Vista College last year, only 70 percent of the seniors who informed the placement office that they would be seeking employment had found full-time jobs within three months after graduation, and only half of these graduates were employed in their major field of study. To help Mira Vista's graduates find employment, we must offer more courses in business and computer technology and hire additional job counselors to help students with their résumés and interviewing skills."

Based on some data, supposing business courses and job counselors contribute to the employment of graduates in Green Mountain College (GMC), and some assumptions, the president recommends Mira Vista College (MVC) to follow the example of GMC to add some subject to the curriculum and hire additional job counselors to assist graduates find employment. However, its supporting evidence contains several logical flaws, rendering the recommendation based on them unconvincing.

Under the premise that GMC graduates really do better in finding jobs, the author assumes that their high employment is derived from the offer of business courses and more job counselors. Absent supporting evidence, the assumption is unwarranted. Perhaps GMC graduates are popular among prospective employers due to their superior communication, coordination and other potential capacities developed in the comprehensive education in GMC. And maybe in such all-round instruction and nurturing, the train of business skill and interview skill plays only a least significant role. In contrast to GMC, MVC may pay little attention to the development of the overall ability of its students. If it’s the case, the mere offer of some business courses and some additional job counselors could do little to change the phenomenon.

Another flaw in the arguments lies in the deduction from the vague statistics, indicating the graduates of GMC do better in job-hunting than those form MVC. However, the author fails to consider possible explanations for the statistics. Maybe many of the graduates in GMC are dissatisfied with their job offers and refused to take office; contrarily the seniors from MVC get more appealing offers. Taken in this sense, the ratio of the employment in GMC is not necessary higher than that in the MVC. Besides, the data is unfairly collected, for it only count the number of MVC graduates received offers within three months while the time span of GMC is not limited. Another point is overlooked by the president is the total number of the graduates in consideration. It's possible that the MVC graduates are far more than the GMC graduates. If so, in sum the number of employed graduates could be more than GMC.

Finally, the president overlooks some differences between GMC and MVC. It’s possible that GMC is a university famous for its business studies, and MVC is major in another direction, say art, science or engineering. If so, the offer of business courses in GMC is easily to accept, while may sound queer as to the undergraduates in MVC. Not only do additional courses may put more burdens on its students, but also they may have no interest in such courses and even repel them. Besides, the author mentions nothing as the benefit of the computer technology in helping graduates finding jobs.

The above argument may appear logic at first glance, but can't stand close scrutiny. To help the graduates of MVC finding desirable jobs, the president as well as the school board of MVC had better identify the relative weakness of its students and establish education program accordingly targeted at developing its students in all-around way.

neverjustUID: 2848024

Based on some data, supposing business courses and job counselors contribute to the employment of graduates in Green Mountain College (GMC), and some assumptions, the president recommends Mira Vista College (MVC) to follow the example of GMC to add some subject to the curriculum and hire additional job counselors to assist graduates find employment. However, its supporting evidence contains several logical flaws, rendering the recommendation based on them unconvincing.

Under the premise that GMC graduates really do better in finding jobs, the author assumes that their high employment is derived from the offer of business courses and more job counselors. Absent supporting evidence, the assumption is unwarranted. Perhaps GMC graduates are popular among prospective employers due to their superior communication, coordination and other potential capacities developed in the comprehensive education in GMC. And maybe in such all-round instruction and nurturing, the train of business skill and interview skill plays only a least significant role. In contrast to GMC, MVC may pay little attention to the development of the overall ability of its students. If it’s the case, the mere offer of some business courses and some additional job counselors could do little to change the phenomenon.

Another flaw in the arguments lies in the deduction from the vague statistics, indicating the graduates of GMC do better in job-hunting than those form MVC. However, the author fails to consider possible explanations for the statistics. Maybe many of the graduates in GMC are dissatisfied with their job offers and refused to take office; contrarily the seniors from MVC get more appealing offers. Taken in this sense, the ratio of the employment in GMC is not necessary higher than that in the MVC. Besides, the data is unfairly collected, for it only count the number of MVC graduates received offers within three months while the time span of GMC is not limited. Another point is overlooked by the president is the total number of the graduates in consideration. It's possible that the MVC graduates are far more than the GMC graduates. If so, in sum the number of employed graduates could be more than GMC.

Finally, the president overlooks some differences between GMC and MVC. It’s possible that GMC is a university famous for its business studies, and MVC is major in another direction, say art, science or engineering. If so, the offer of business courses in GMC is easily to accept, while may sound queer as to the undergraduates in MVC. Not only do additional courses may put more burdens on its students, but also they may have no interest in such courses and even repel them.（原文好像没有说隔壁的GMC找到工作的人都是商科学生，所以即使GMC商科比较好，也不能说明他的就业率高跟商科好有什么关系。也许只有商科的学生愿意接受额外的商科课程，其他专业的学生就不愿意多上商科课了，比如工程专业的。你可以说，G的商科好，而商科好找工作。M的哲学好，但哲学不好找工作） Besides, the author mentions nothing as the benefit of the computer technology in helping graduates finding jobs.（个人觉得这个跟第二段的论证有点重复）

The above argument may appear logic at first glance, but can't stand close scrutiny. To help the graduates of MVC finding desirable jobs, the president as well as the school board of MVC had better identify the relative weakness of its students and establish education program accordingly targeted at developing its students in all-around way.

我觉得你的思路清晰，语言流畅，句型多变，继续加油，祝你成功。
以上意见仅供参考，欢迎探讨。水平有限，请多指教。

yaniiUID: 2807225

谢谢指教:)