serena-blue的作文贴

serena-blueUID: 2811284

8.12  09.08.01NA
you agree or disagree with the following statement? If you do not make sure other people (especially influential people or your employers) know about your strengths and accomplishments, you will never get successful in life

I always hold the point that the success of an individual dependes a lot on his/her personal ability in a certain area,like having a rich knowledge of the field and having strong spirits to persue his/her dream.However,we can not deny the importance of recognition from others,especially influential people or employers.

First of all,we'd better show our strengths and accomplishments to others in order to get protential opportunities which help us to get close to the success.Our superiors will give us a stage to perform only when they confirm that we are well-prepared.I remembered clearly one thing when I was a little child.Our teacher made a small show for the open day of our kindergarten .She wanted to choose someone to be the princess and the girl would sing in the play.I was too shy to tell her that I really hoped to be the lucky girl and I could sing well.The result was obvious,I missed the great role and had to be a dwarf following the shining princess.Since then ,I keep the idea that it's impossible to just sit at home and wait for the Luck Fairy knocking our doors.

Secondly, the recognition from others is ,to some degree, sort of encouragement.As to me,sometimes I feel confused whether I do something right or not.If someone comes to me and approves my work,I will be much more confident.Psychologically,words such as "great","good""well done" gives individuals a positive hint which favors their following performance.It's not hard to imagine one's spiritual loss when others ignore his efforts.My Friend,John,uesd to complaining the feeling of being nobody as none of his collegues paid any attention to his work.However,after he changed a new job,he became much more energetic for the simple reason that his boss would prise him if he did well and even invited him to some parties.

In a conclusion,with the recognition of others,especially influential people or our employers,we can get more chances to perform our ability and be more confident.Based on all the conditions,the success is not far from us.

高小鱼UID: 2714619

第二次该你的作文了，刚打开看到这么多拼写错误吓死了，后来发现很多是因为标点符号后没有空导致的，我不知道是因为你没有用word上传的关系还是你自己打字的时候没注意，如果是后者，需要改正哦…其它拼写错误我就不改了，自己改容易记住

这篇文章我写的很痛苦，论点不好找，你的第二个论点我就没想到，而且很好。不过不足时，语言和措辞还不是很地道，多读原文哦，在阅读中积累一些惯用法，同时提高阅读和写作。

对其中比较明显的地方作了一些修改，仅供参考~~

serena-blueUID: 2811284

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should allow children to make their own choices rather than determine their children’s future for them.

Considering the intense competition in the present-day, most parents are eager to be the designers of chiildren's future,regardless of their kids' own interest. We can not deny the fact that with parents' help, the approach to success will go more smoothly as the children lacks of experience. Nevertheless, disadvantages overweigh advantages in the case. It's fearful to imagine a life moving in a certain route without any surprise.  Children may not get any happiness and flame into revolt, following a selected way. Chances are the future chosed by parents turns out unsuitable and children's talent is buried. All these will lead children to a future quite different from what  parents have expected and they may never have the opportunity to correct it.

On one hand, freedom is the basic requirement in life. Will a child be willing to  become a doctor even though he is afraid of blood?Will he feel happy to deal with piles of math exercise but in fact he can only count from one to one hundred ? I am convinced most of us shake our heads. In addition, the rebelious psychology  arouses readily in the children's hearts. The more what parents like them to do,the more reluctance they have. My nephew once told me that she hoped her piano would be put into fire one day. I often don't dare to see her crying face when she is forced to practise piano hours by hours while keeping watching out of the window,eyes full of admire. Is it miserable that an adult has not any happy memories in the childhood and can only tell the struggle against parents? Let's give our children a free sky in which they can fly wherever they like, instead of locking them in the iron cage. The pure smiles are much more precious.


On the other hand, parents usually impose their own will on children ,even dreams that they haven't realized before. Not being born diviners, parents lead children to a wrong way in which they can not take advantages of their own talents. Take myself for example. my father always wants me to be an engineer for the simple reason that it gets more pay. But I have to admit that I am an idiot in physics and math. So I did exetremely bad in the high school. Luckily, I decided to study Italian in college, after a big quarrel with my father. I am glad to pursue my goals with strong mind and love so much the musical language. Why not let the children  to be the owner of their destiny? Nobody is more clear than themselves knowing in which field they want to make every effort.

In a conclusion, it's selfish to deprive children's happiness, compelling them to live in a world controled by others. None of us has the power to predict a best future for kids. Let them take charge of their own lives.

longxue26UID: 2687755

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should allow children to make their own choices rather than determine their children’s future for them.


Considering the intense competition in the present-day, most parents are eager to be the designers of chiildren's future,regardless of their kids' own interest. We can not deny the fact that with parents' help, the approach to success will go more smoothly as the children lacks of experience. Nevertheless, disadvantages overweigh advantages in the case. It's fearful to imagine a life moving in a certain route without any surprise.  Children may not get any happiness and flame into revolt, following a selected way. Chances are the future chosed by parents turns out unsuitable and children's talent is buried. All these will lead children to a future quite different from what  parents have expected and they may never have the opportunity to correct it.开头这里 每句都写的很好 但是可以放到下面再说 开头就说 有些不清楚你的立场 和 头重的感觉

On one hand,你看 你从这里就开始on one hand了 那你开头就是没说清楚立场 freedom is the basic requirement in life. Will a child be willing to  become a doctor even though这里用让步不合适啊 应该说if he is afraid of blood?Will he feel happy to deal with piles of math exercise but in fact he can only count from one to one hundred ? I am convinced most of us shake our heads.可以不说 省略掉 要不 太浅了 In addition, the rebelious psychology  arouses readily in the children's hearts. The more what parents like them to do,the more reluctance they have. My nephew once told me that she hoped her piano would be put into fire one day. I often don't dare to see her crying face when she is forced to practise piano hours by hours while keeping watching out of the window,eyes full of admire这里是单独的一句吗? 为什么要用while呢 前面已经是一个从句了eyes full of admire这样说是因为在看偶像吗?. Is it miserable that an adult has not any happy memories in the childhood and can only tell the struggle against parents? Let's give our children a free sky in which they can fly wherever they like, instead of locking them in the iron cage. The pure smiles are much more precious.
这段的论点是 家长控制了孩子的自由
On the other hand, parents usually impose their own will on children ,even dreams that they haven't realized before. Not being born diviners wow! 你这么说太有想法了!, parents lead children to a wrong way in which they can not take advantages of their own talents. Take myself for example. my father always wants me to be an engineer for the simple reason that it gets more pay. But I have to admit that I am an idiot in physics and math. So I did exetremely bad in the high school. Luckily, I decided to study Italian in college, after a big quarrel with my father. I am glad to pursue my goals with strong mind and love so much the musical language. Why not let the children  to be the owner of their destiny? Nobody is more clear than themselves knowing in which field they want to make every effort.
这段说的是 家长总想让孩子完成自己的will
In a conclusion, it's selfish to deprive children's happiness, compelling them to live in a world controled by others. None of us has the power to predict a best future for kids. Let them take charge of their own lives.

题目是 家长来决定孩子的未来
你的两段论证都不错 但是 第二段和未来的结合还不够紧密 没有特别突出孩子自己想决定的未来和家长心目中的未来的 矛盾!
开头大可不必那么说 但是你说的很好 可以用在后面  下次开头要清晰地提出自己的观点
第三段论证 可以说 你的父亲最后也同意了你自己的选择 并且 现在看到你这么有成绩的发展 他也更赞同你了  可以把你的论证再上升一点点   这个仅为个人意见哈

红色部分  拼写错误 或者单复数错误

serena-blueUID: 2811284

8-17
Which one do you think has more effects for human beings,television or telephone?

Science has been bringing great changes to our society for centuries, leading us a colorful and convinent life. Among numerous inventions since the 20th century, television and telephone are two significant triumphs, which are widely used nowadays. Wacthing TV programs is the most common family entertainment and the majority of us contact with others by cellphones. Speaking of which one has more effects on us, I am personally in favor with the former one ,television.

First of all, television has also the communicational funcition in the broad definition. We talk with a certain group of people  over the phone,but how can we communicate with the outside world in which we play a role as strangers? It's time for TV. On the screen, we know what is going on in a country thousands miles away, we get acquainted with distinct customs of other nations, and we even fall in love with various species of living creatures like sharks and dolphins though programs like Discovery. Last year, I saw the terrible earthquake in Sichuan province through TV news and donated part of my pocket money to the striken area. Therefore, I made the acquaintance  with a little girl,Mei. She is an orphan survived the catastrophe. Now we always write to each other, exchanging our recent lives. I encourage her to hold the hope for a better tomorrow and her strong spirits also moves me. Without TV, I think I will never have the chance to meet this girl 1000 miles from my city and make such a special and precious friend.

Secondly, television makes our life much more colorful and interesting. It's imaginable that our progenitors could only go to sleep early for the simple reason that they had not much entertainment. Some writers preferred drawing inspiration from the gorgeous moonlight. But not everyone could be Kneats or Shakespear. Television lightens our night. The whole family can sit together,laughing for comedy and analizing the mysterious plots of detectives, or enjoying a live concert at home. I can still remember the days in which several families shared one TV in 1980s in China. After supper, adults and kids gathered in a small dinning room, watching a funny TV series with laughters burst now and then. What's more, they often talked about different chacaters in their spare time. The small TV offered great topics of conservation, making the simple life more beautiful.

To sum up, compared with telephone, television influences our life much more. It helps us communicate with the outside world, building up a bridge with  people even we haven't seen before. We get rid of the boring and dark night by enjoying TV programs of all kinds. We experienced more surprising mutations since television stepped into our life.

serena-blueUID: 2811284

八月十七号综合写作题
Recently, arouses a new policy in the United States that companies can offer their employees the option of working 4 days a week with 80 percent of the previous pay.
In the lecture, the professore cast mainly 3 doubts aganist the availability of the new policy.
First of all, the profit of companies will not be increased with the additional cost. Companies have to provide training for new employees, offering them welfare and more space for working. All these need a huge amount of money.
Secondly, the employees may have to work over time if their boss is not willing to hire more staff. What's more worse, their boss may raise the expection of their performance. The four working days are probably unpleasant.
At last, the life quality of employees who go to 80 percent workdays may be reduced, instead of becoming better. They risk being the first ones to loose jobs as the full-time employees will be more preferrable. The opportunity of promotion is also likely to be readily missed.
In a conclusion, this new policy may not achieve the original goal but bring some negetive effects.

qlshunUID: 2602870

修改完了

yandong1208UID: 2798280

改好啦~见附件~~
写的不错哦~
=]
serena revised.doc (25 KB, 下载次数: 6)

2010-8-18 13:15:59 上传

下载次数: 6

jjooyyUID: 2704028

Recently, arouses a new policy in the United States that companies can offer their employees the option of working 4 days a week with 80 percent of the previous pay. 阅读文章没有这样写政策之类的，你就不能写哦 综合作文关键是 nothing new

In the lecture, the professor casts mainly 3 doubts aganist the availability of the new policy.  n' z3 |! t9 I& g/ J9 h* ^
First of all, the profit of companies will not be increased with the additional cost.(很有概括性) Companies have to provide training for new employees, offering them welfare and more space for working. (是office和computer)All these need a huge amount of money.. l2
U+ j* v0 ^5 @' g
Secondly, the employees may have to work over time if their boss is not willing to hire more staff. What's more worse, their boss may raise the expection of their performance. The four working days are probably unpleasant.

At last, the life quality of employees who go to 80 percent workdays may be reduced, instead of becoming better. They risk being the first ones to loose（lose） jobs as the full-time employees will be more preferrable. The opportunity of promotion is also likely to be readily missed.3 w* {% ]( `. O5 \! U
In a conclusion, this new policy may not achieve the original goal but bring some negetive effects.

赞 很简洁 但是很清晰！估计你没有找到阅读看吧。。。加油！

serena-blueUID: 2811284

占座表示我会来改 但是会比较晚 很抱歉
jjooyy 发表于 2010-8-18 18:22

没有关系的。。。先忙自己的事情好啦~~~

serena-blueUID: 2811284

TPO2 综合写作 多谢指教！！！
In the lecture, the professore talked about the disadvantages of team work, challenging the opinions of the reading passage.

First of all, the professore thinks that some coworkers will take free ride, doing nothing in the whole project. But those who have made great contributions may not get enough recognition, even not leaving a real name, as the achievement belongs to the whole group. In other words, they can not enjoy a good time to " shine" .

Secondly, instead of moving forward more quickly,the project may not be finished in a short time. It's common to have many meetings before reaching an agreement in the group.

At last, we may not be able to see new and creative solutions as the reading passege expected. Influential people in the team are likely bossy to impose their personal ideas, dropping others' suggestions, but the great ones will be ignored.

In a word, the professore is in favor that the real effect is not satisfactory and the team members risk taking  the pain that each of them will be blamed.

serena-blueUID: 2811284

Do you agree ordisagree with the following statement? Sports teach people lessons about life.7 s' E; f; |: T2 A8 ?: s. j

My favorite motto is the slogan of Olympics: Faster, Higher, Stronger. It not only encourages athlets of generations to perform better in the sportsground, but also has a deep realistic meaning for normal people.  As to me, sports helps me build up a healthy body and also teaches lessons about life.

First of all, I learnt the importance of persistence from sports. I can still recall the hardship when doing the 1500-meters test in the high school. I could even scent blood from my throat. But I kneww clearly that all my efforts would go to drain if I gave up. Life is also like a long race and nobody can not withdraw halfway. The fruit of success will be much sweeter with wheat, which may be the charm of both life and sports.

Secondly, the spirit of self-challenge of sportsmen always moves me. It's extremly impressive that Bolt fixed the 100-meter record at 9.69 seconds in 2008 Olympics.  There is no limitation in both sports and life.  We can make our own breakthrough if we are willing to challenge ourselves. Take myself for example. I am fond of Italian Opera but it's not easy to understand what singers express without transcript. Last year, I decided to study Italian by myself. To tell the truth, it was really a tough time. It was too complex to distinguish masculine and feminine of the Italian words. What's more, a single verbe has incredibly six froms, ranging according to distinct persons. But now I can speak fluently Italian and have already pass an official exam. More important, I know if I want t do something,just try it!

In a word, sports encouraging us not to be a quitter and to challenge ourselves. These precious lessons of life will lead us to be those who pursue “ faster, higher, stronger".
InV

jjooyyUID: 2704028

In the lecture, the professore talked about the disadvantages of team work, challenging the opinions of the reading passage.  v/ C: Y% S4 v5 O, V
9 r7 d& z" K, U( I- d0 g

First of all, the professore thinks that some coworkers will take free ride, doing nothing in the whole project. But those who have made great contributions may not get enough recognition, even not leaving a real name, as the achievement belongs to the whole group. In other words, they can not enjoy a good time to " shine" .

Secondly, instead of moving forward more quickly,the project may not be finished in a short time. It's common to have many meetings before reaching an agreement in the group. 3 D( G5 A: J; P7 m

At last, we may not be able to see new and creative solutions as the reading passege expected.这截话写得好，有创意 Influential people in the team are likely bossy to impose their personal ideas, dropping others' suggestions, but the great ones will（不可以说great ones因为不知道对错！） be ignored.- T' F/ a' }) l: t6 ?( N% E. T

In a word, the professore is in favor that the real effect is not satisfactory and the team members risk taking  the pain that each of them will be blamed.
大多数的时候没有讲阅读的内容，不符合题意 题目是 说说教授是怎么质疑阅读文章的，一般一段话 要阅读文章和听力结合 讲不同 听力为主 建议看一下OG范文
昨天的作业改完了 就在那一楼~

louisa427UID: 2458920

TPO2 综合写作 多谢指教！！！
In the lecture, the professore talked about the disadvantages of team work, challenging the opinions of the reading passage.4 T+ k- g+ ~+ y7 C' u! w$ z

First of all, the professore thinks that some coworkers will take free ride我是听到这句话了，但是不知道这个短语什么意思, doing nothing in the whole project. But those who have made great contributions may not get enough recognition, even not leaving a real name, as the achievement belongs to the whole group. In other words, they can not enjoy a good time to " shine" .  @- p$ D) _! w
  ?5 N5 P. E' R
Secondly, instead of moving forward more quickly,the project may not be finished in a short time. It's common to have many meetings before reaching an agreement in the group. 这段进行的不够详细，其实主要说的是difficult in reaching  consensus.+ \) b% Z8 l6 W4 V
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At last, we may not be able to see new and creative solutions as the reading passege expected. Influential people in the team are likely bossy to impose their personal ideas, dropping others' suggestions, but the great ones will be ignored.

In a word, the professore is in favor that the real effect is not satisfactory and the team members risk taking  the pain that each of them will be blamed.
没有和阅读的文章联系，只大概说了听力的内容，应该说出听力怎么质疑阅读的