time for toefl - writing exercise

sosodiuUID: 2731702

soso作业贴

认真认真。

sosodiuUID: 2731702

22/7    Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students who keep their rooms neat and organized will be more likely to succeed than students who do not.

Maybe most people have experienced of being instilled with the knowledge of how to do the housework even earlier than the start of their normal education. And most people might have been asked to keep their rooms neat by their parents when they are still kids. It seems quite basic for one person to do those things that can create neat space for himself. Thus, in my point of view, keeping one's room neat and organized is of tremendous benefits to his life and career, even being a required and basic quality to success in every possible way.

As more or less of students' work are done in their own rooms, neat and organized space is undoubtedly can promote working efficiency. Based on several specialized researches that targeted in working mode and working  efficiency under different working conditions, one can safely reach the conclusion that a messed room would lower the quality of working one has done. For instance, one outcome carried out by the Brown University has shown that compared to the people who work in an unorganized and crammed room, those who work in a neat and organized room have a higher efficiency of around 40 percent.
With work of more effective and efficient, students who keep their rooms in an organized and neat state are of more chance to be successful.

Besides the benefit of high working quality in clean and well-organized rooms, students who keep neat and organized rooms can build some potential and valuable quality-such as logical ability and meticulous attitude-which are of importance for their future success both in career and life. To give an extreme example to demonstrate my point. One of my favorite characters in a TV program "The big bang theory", a nerd called Sheldon, is typically keen to the organization system and cleaning work of his apartment. At the same time, this feature actually is same in his working. He is a genius and relative remarkable in physics area- an area that emphasizes scientists' careful and logical ability towards the relating work. Back to my point, I have to say how can you expect one to be required carefully and organized towards his academic work suppose he is very casual and lazy in his own living time ?

Perhaps some people who hold a negative view towards the statement might say keeping neat and organized rooms wastes time which equally could be used in academics. I strongly disagree with the assertion. Students might waste relatively more time in finding something they need in messed rooms. On the other hand, a reasonable schedule might help minize the time spent in cleaning and organizing.

All in all, though it might takes some time to keep neat and well-organized rooms, it still counts. As the famous saying goes, success depends on details. One can see the advantages this good habit brings as I mention above: higher working efficiency, logical and organizing ability, and indirect time saving.

echoismeUID: 2845061

7.22 改 by echoisme
22/7    Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students who keep their rooms neat and organized will be more likely to succeed than students who do not.

Maybe most people have experienced of being instilled (滴注，逐渐灌输，尤指思想) (我觉得teach就可以了) with the knowledge of how to do the housework even earlier than the start of their normal education. And most people might have been asked to keep their rooms neat by their parents when they are still kids. It seems quite basic for one person to do those things that can create neat space for himself. Thus, in my point of view, keeping one's room neat and organized is of tremendous benefits to his life and career, even being a required and basic quality to success in every possible way..

As more or less of students' work are done in their own rooms, neat and organized space is undoubtedly can promote working efficiency. Based on several specialized researches that targeted in working mode and working  efficiency under different working conditions, one can safely reach the conclusion that a messed room would lower the quality of working one has done. For instance, one outcome carried out by the Brown University has shown that compared to the people who work in an unorganized and crammed room, those who work in a neat and organized room have a higher efficiency of around 40 percent.With work of more effective and efficient, students who keep their rooms in an organized and neat state are of more chance to be successful.(编的真好，O(∩_∩)O哈哈~)

Besides the benefit of high working quality in clean and well-organized rooms, students who keep neat and organized rooms can build some potential and valuable quality-such as logical ability and meticulous attitude-which are of importance for their future success both in career and life. To give an extreme example to demonstrate my point. One of my favorite characters in a TV program "The big bang theory", a nerd called Sheldon, is typically keen to the organization system and cleaning work of his apartment. At the same time, this feature actually is same in his working. He is a genius and relative remarkable in physics area- an area that emphasizes scientists' careful and logical ability towards the relating work. Back to my point, I have to say how can you expect one to be required carefully and organized towards his academic work suppose he is very casual and lazy in his own living time ?

Perhaps some people who hold a negative view towards the statement might say keeping neat and organized rooms wastes time which equally could be used in academics. I strongly disagree with the assertion. Students might waste relatively more time in finding something they need in messed rooms. On the other hand, a reasonable schedule might help minize the time spent in cleaning and organizing.感觉这一段和第二段意思一样，可以合并。

All in all, though it might takes some time to keep neat and well-organized rooms, it still counts. As the famous saying goes, success depends on details. One can see the advantages this good habit brings as I mention above: higher working efficiency, logical and organizing ability, and indirect time saving.

Good 整体语言上有些重复，注意变化，多使用一些高级词汇。本人水平有限，没有发现什么大的错误。

sosodiuUID: 2731702

Being one of the things that lay no boundaries across the world, sports are always of tremendous importance and fun to basically everyone with different culture backgroud and nations.  The advantages sports bring to us are not purely limited in the body exercise, which is helpful for people to keep fit and healthy. People can also learn many things about real life and philosophy from the sports.  

It is no doubt that sports emphasize more corporation of a team than only excellent work of single player. Teamwork is undoubtedly precious in every other field in real life. Known by most people, most sports are not one-to-one modes. The team players in one team sometimes are even more than 10 people such as football, iceball and so on. And in these sports games, players have to learn their position in the whole team and to work as a team player rather than himself/herself. In today's world, both the business world and academic fields put emphasis in corporation between companies and different branches. Only a team player can enjoy lasting success.

Another lesson people can learn from playing sports is persistence, one valuable quality that is required in our personal life and career. As one of the famous sayings that are of special meanings to sports field, practice makes perfect. Every athlete has to pay sweat to exchange his/her final outcome. In this process, they must overcome countless difficulties and obstacles and learn how to persist to the last. It requires both persistence in physics and mind. Of course persistence is equally valuable in real life. One can only obtain the things and life he/she wants through hardworking and persistence.

Besides, some basic law lay down in sports every player must be acquainted with are actually the rules people have to learn in socialization-such as respect, fair competition, friendship. The Olympic spirits is an eloquent example. The "higher" it pursues is not only in outcome of the games but also players' personality and spirits. Players in those international games are required excellent personal quality: respect the adversaries and judgement, the partipent of fair competition, and friendship in the games. Every single piece of these rules in sports is also the rule in socialization of people: respect every other human beings even the animals in our planet, respect own destiny, the believe in fair competition in every field, and the friendship between fellows.

Obviously, being an attractive part of cognition of whole human beings, sports are of special glamour to people. Also the things one can learn from it can also find the courtepart and be applied in his/her own life.

fanfan1247UID: 2591669

欢迎互相讨论~~~

fanfan1247 拜读sosodiu 7.24.doc (23 KB, 下载次数: 11)

2010-7-25 23:57:45 上传

下载次数: 11

layla1989UID: 2832481

改好了哦~~~注意查收

sosodiuUID: 2731702

As more and more problems caused by unhealthy eating habits become the biggest concern of society, for instance obesity and its relating disease like high blood pressure, heart disease and so force, people nowadays inevitable pay increasing attention to modern living style and influence it brings. However, as for me, I hold a negative view towards the statement. Advertising is only a small part in leading to prevailing of unhealthy eating habits, never being the main cause.



Aiming at selling products, advertisement makes efforts to boast its effects and features of products, but the final decisions are still managed by customers. Undoubtedly, with limited information in the advertisement, people are certainly choosing the products according to their own needs. Although there is no concrete data to show the percentage of advertisement that are targeted in unhealthy eating habits, it is obvious that one can also see other ads in the television, posters, internet. Even some are selling the healthy products such as green food, exercise equipments that are equally of popularities in those years. Thus, the influence of advertising towards living style is a two-edged swallow for it is selling products both good and bad.  


Besides, there are still several potential reasons for unhealthy eating habits that are adapted by most youth today. It was witnessed accompanied with the development of advertising after 1980s, a so-called American living style has been prevailing all over the world. Rapidly a image of wearing jeans, T-shirts, eating chips and drinking coke is popular among the youth all over the world. Many people accordingly attributes this unhealthy living style of eating junk food to the attractive advertising campaign of these products rather than the deep cultural background. Actually this trend of eating habits and living habits are equally influenced by other factors such as high living pace, development of rock music and international cultural assimilation.


Certainly, the cause of human beings themselves has to be brought up. When it comes to some living style's changes in history, one has to give both inside reasons and outside reasons. And for this unhealthy eating habits' prevailing, self-controls are no doubt another leading cause. It is easy to get some bad habits, but it is always hard to get away from them. Take me as an example: I had cost more than 3 years to learn the habits of morning running when I was a kid, but I gave up it for only a month after I moved to another apartment. People always tend to choose a way of living that is easy and enjoying rather than healthy way that one has to pay efforts to. Thus, people are willing to choose junk food that are delicious and convenient with exercise less rather than vegetables and controlled diets with exercise regular.


All in all, advertising might be a cause among the several reasons that have given popularity to unhealthy eating habits. However, limited by its own real purpose and effect, advertising is not the main cause to this trend. There are also other causes that should be responsible for it at the same time both outside and inside of human beings

nunulongUID: 2172898

你好，作文已改好，请查收！谢谢！

cocohatelyUID: 2860724

As more and more problems caused by unhealthy eating habits become the biggest wide public concern of society, for instance obesity and its relating disease like high blood pressure, heart disease and so force （我不太明白so force的意思，=so on吗）, people nowadays inevitable pay increasing（这里我觉得用上升的不太合适，用more是不是更好？） attention to modern living style and influence it brings. However, as for me, I hold a negative view towards the statement. Advertising is only a small part in leading to prevailing of unhealthy eating habits, never being the main cause.

Aiming at selling products, advertisement(名词不能裸奔) makes efforts to boast its effects and features of products, but the final decisions are still managed(用made,因为是make a decision) by customers. Undoubtedly, with limited information in the advertisement, people are certainly choosing the products according to their own needs. Although there is no concrete data to show the percentage of advertising that are targeted in unhealthy eating habits, one can also see other ads in the television, posters, internet. Even some are selling the healthy products such as green food, exercise equipments that are equally(equal) of popularities in those years. Thus, the influence of advertising towards living style is a two-edged swallow for it is selling products both good and bad. (这段逻辑比我好多了，我的评改仅做参考) 1 S! l K3 d
4 |1 O; R3 {% }' ^8 M

Besides, there are still several potential reasons for unhealthy eating habits that are adapted by most youth today. It was witnessed accompanied with the development of advertising after 1980s, a so-called American living style has been prevailing all over the world（说all over the American是不是好点，因为后面有world了）. Rapidly an image of wearing jeans, T-shirts, eating chips and drinking coke is popular among the youth all over the world. Many people accordingly attributes this unhealthy living style of eating junk food to the attractive advertising campaign of these products rather than the deep cultural background. Actually these trends of eating habits and living habits are equally influenced by other factors such as high living pace, development of rock music and international cultural assimilation.（这里改成assimilation of international culture）

Certainly, the cause of human beings themselves has to be brought up. When it comes to some living style's changes in history, one has to give both inside reasons and outside reasons. And for this unhealthy eating habits' prevailing, self-controls are no doubt （undoubted）another leading cause. It is easy to get some bad habits, but it is always hard to get away from them. Take me as an example: I had costed(spent) more than 3 years to learn the habits of morning running(jogging) when I was a kid, but I gave up it for only a month after I moved to another apartment. People always tend to choose a way of living that is easy and enjoying rather than healthy way that one has to pay efforts to. Thus, people are willing to choose junk food that are delicious and convenient with exercise less rather than vegetables and controled(controlled) diets with exercise regular.(这里为什么用exercise?)

All in all, advertising might be a cause among the several reasons that have given popularity to unhealthy eating habits. However, limited by its own real purpose and effect, advertising is not the main cause to these trends. There are also other causes that should be responsible for it at the same time both outside and inside of human beings.


逻辑很清晰，用词很专业。我借鉴了很多句子呢。不过整篇文章出现unhealthy eating habits太多了，是否可以换同义词替换。注意单复数these的运用

另外有些我也不明白的，有空我们讨论下吧

nunulongUID: 2172898

sosodiu同学你好，我是27号与你一组的同学，我的作文交晚了，所以麻烦看到留言帮助我改一下27号作文，谢谢，添麻烦了！
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1119519&extra=
上面的是我的作文贴。谢谢！

icetear_melodyUID: 2787484

第一句里“等等”应该是 so forth 吧？楼主可能打错了。
我觉得你写的比我好多了，请问是30分钟内定时完成的嘛？

sosodiuUID: 2731702

11# icetear_melody

没有恩!!!
因为刚开始写 所以还没有给自己限制时间 哎  我准备再写个两三篇自己有一定的摸版形成就开始掐时间了

sosodiuUID: 2731702

7.29

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people should try several different jobs before they take a long term career.



One of good things about the youth is that they have plenty time to try the newthings and to choose innovation rather than being satisfied with themselves. Itis normal to see most of young people today are used to changing their jobsfrequently, to some new companies with high salaries, to some new environment,even to some totally different fields. Even though nobody can reach theconclusion that all those changes are helpful, they still count from a lifelong perspective.

Only through endless trying new things, can young people know what their ownfavorite and proper job is. As we all know, before stepping into the society,most people's choices for future career are relatively limited. What one learnsfrom books and his teachers, fellows, and parents are the most influentialfactors he/she determines career. For instance, one student who majors ineducation might most like to choose to be a teacher. However, what if thisstudent is more interested in academic research rather than a teacher who isalways with his/her students? As the famous saying goes, you never know untilyou try. Thus, it is advisable for young people to try some distinctive areasbefore they finally settle down in career.

With doing several different jobs before taking a long term career, youngpeople are able to accumulate diverse ranges of working experience, which mightbe of tremendous benefits to their own lives. Sometimes, accepting a new jobmeans facing some new and difficult challenges. And when one is trying toovercome those difficulties, it is actually a process of perfecting oneself. Intoday's world, those working experience of different disciplines and jobs isespecially valuable. A reporter of a business magazine might be required tohave some working experience in business rather than only degree of journalists.It makes a person more descent in society and job interview to have differentworking experience.

All in all, young people who have already tried different jobs are morecompetitive in rapidly changing world for their more precise self-position andricher working experience. Thus, it is undoubtedly young people are advised tohave sorts of job backgrounds before settling down in a long-term career.

xqsissyUID: 2812149

改啦～

7.29


Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people should tryseveral different jobs before they take a long term career.


# O7 X, |3b1 J1 j
One of good things about the youth is that they have plenty time to try the newthings and to choose innovation rather than being satisfied with themselves. Itis normal to see most of young people today are used to changing their jobsfrequently, to some new companies with high salaries, to some new environment,even to some totally different fields. Even though nobody can reach theconclusion that all those changes are helpful, they still count from a lifelong perspective.

Only through endless trying new things, can a young people knows (know) what his/her ownfavorite and proper job is. As we all know, before stepping into the society,most people's choices for future career are relatively limited. The thingsone learns both from books and his teachers, fellows, and parents are the mostinfluencial(influential)factorshe/she determines career. For instance, one student who majors in educationmight most like to choose to be a teacher. However, what if this student ismore interested in academic research rather than be a teacher who is always with his/her students?As the famous saying goes, you never know until you try. Thus, it is advisablefor young people to try some distinctive areas before they finally settle downin career.*K1 I' \+ c" N) R5 q8 `

With doing several different jobs before taking a long term career, youngpeople are able to accumulate diverse ranges of working experience, which mightbe of tremendous benefits to their own lives. Sometimes, acccepting(accepting) a new job means facing(some 可以删去)new and difficult challenges. And when one is trying toovercome those difficulties, it is actually a process of perfecting oneself. Intoday's world, those working experience of different disciplines and jobs isespecially valuable. A reporter of a business magazine might be required tohave some working experience
in business rather than only degree of journallists(journaliste). It makes a person moredescent in society and job interview to have different working experience.


All in all, young people who have already tried different jobs are morecompetitive in rapidly changing world for their more precise self-position andricher working experience. Thus, it is undoubtedly young people are advised tohave sorts of job backgrounds before settling down in a long term career.


写的很好，只是单词拼写的错误，其他逻辑和条理都非常棒！
我挑不出来错误哦哦～
好强！


我的作文在这里： https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1129902&;page=1&extra=#pid1774219181

13# sosodiu

darkathrunUID: 2813505

改好请验收~