ISSUE208【六人行7.28】by Eileen

Eileen312UID: 2648750

I208"The way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes and interests. You can tell much about a society's ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people."
【字数：426】
【时间】1h
【正文】
The speaker takes it for granted that we can judge a society’s values by its people’s appearance and behavior, which reveals people’s inner thoughts. As far as I am concerned, external characteristics are not always in accordance with the internal ideas, and thus it is unrealizable to explore the ideologies rooted in a society by observing the way people groom and act.

Admittedly, humans’ outside expressions, clothes, and action could, to some extent, represent their inner outlooks and preferences. Generally, our pleasure and dejection are directly exhibited on our faces, which illustrate our attitude toward the outside world. Even an infant has the capability of expressing his satisfactory with a toy by smiling, not to mention an adult showing his disappointment with a gloomy face. Similarly, dressing manners often serve as reflections of people’s wearing taste and outlooks on life. For instance, Michelle Obama pursues beauty and elegance by fashionable dresses, while Bill Gates leisure wear demonstrates his casual attitude toward life. Finally, action, the result of inner sense, could effectively report feedback information about people’s ideas and preferences.

However, points made above only stand in the pure early times and naturally collapse in the complicated contemporary society. My first reason is that appearance cheats in modern times. Since the significance of external image was brought under the spot light, numerous image consult companies have sprung up, which contributes to people’s unrecognizable appearance and behavior. Secondly, there exist increasing numbers of occasions where uniforms or formal dress is demanded, such as the government offices, business meetings, and middle school campuses. How can you tell the various thoughts covered by the uniform? Thirdly, the global culture fusion makes it more and more difficult to distinguish a particular attitude belonging to a society, resulting in the slim chance to precisely judge the society’s ideology.

Consequently, we can not hastily conclude that people’s outside characteristics tell a lot about a society’s inner ideas, especially considering the situation of diverse societies. In the relatively free and prosperous countries, like America, people have the will, the rights and financial ability to exhibit their thoughts and preferences outward, therefore more reliable social value information can be collected. On the contrary, in conservative and undeveloped countries, like China, where the majority of people berry their thoughts deep in heart and put thrifty before external exhibition, it is difficult to approach the original social ideas.

In conclusion, the way people dress and act seldom reflects their inner thoughts currently, and sometimes even offers fake information; therefore, little about most societies’ values can be told.

迷失的鱼UID: 2850922

The speaker takes it for granted that we can judge a society’s values by its people’s appearance and behavior, which reveals people’s inner thoughts. As far as I am concerned, external characteristics are not always in accordance with the internal ideas, and thus it is unrealizable to explore the ideologies rooted in a society by observing the way people groom and act.

Admittedly, humans’ outside expressions, clothes, and action could, to some extent, represent their inner outlooks and preferences. Generally, our pleasure and dejection are directly exhibited on our faces, which illustrate our attitude toward the outside world. Even an infant has the capability of expressing his satisfactory with a toy by smiling, not to mention an adult showing his disappointment with a gloomy face. Similarly, dressing manners often serve as reflections of people’s wearing taste and outlooks on life. For instance, Michelle Obama pursues beauty and elegance by fashionable dresses, while Bill Gates leisure wear demonstrates his casual attitude toward life. Finally, action, the result of inner sense, could effectively report feedback information about people’s ideas and preferences.
[further explain why Michelle Obama & Bill Gate's appearence can express their tastes and outlooks of live, because you are making an assumption that the rater must know both and their tastes& outlooks of live, which is undoubtedly groundless.]
[you can last two points together or make a better explanation of the last one; solely displaying your conclusion lacks evidences which, also, unconvincing]

However, points made above only stand in the pure early times and naturally collapse in the complicated contemporary society.[clear comparison] My first reason is that appearance cheats in modern times. Since the significance of external image was brought under the spot light, numerous image consult companies have sprung up, which contributes to people’s unrecognizable[?] appearance and behavior. Secondly, there exist increasing numbers of occasions where uniforms or formal dress is demanded, such as the government offices, business meetings, and middle school campuses. How can you tell the various thoughts covered by the uniform? Thirdly, the global culture fusion makes it more and more difficult to distinguish a particular attitude belonging to a society, resulting in the slim chance to precisely judge the society’s ideology.

Consequently, we can not hastily conclude that people’s outside characteristics tell a lot about a society’s inner ideas, especially considering the situation of diverse societies. In the relatively free and prosperous countries, like America, people have the will, the rights and financial ability to exhibit their thoughts and preferences outward, therefore more reliable social value information can be collected. On the contrary, in conservative and undeveloped countries, like China, where the majority of people berry their thoughts deep in heart and put thrifty before external exhibition, it is difficult to approach the original social ideas.

In conclusion, the way people dress and act seldom reflects their inner thoughts currently, and sometimes even offers fake information; therefore, little about most societies’ values can be told.
[1. 文章结构比较清晰，开头，结尾阐述观点，三段论述，典型范文格式，而且观点这样列很容易撞车
2. 文中段落作者一直在用解构思想分析题目，但对每分点都缺少相应支撑，个人建议每个的更详细一点
3. 用词较准确，因为我对用词一直很烂
4. 字数不够啊同学]

xyjprcUID: 2412778

我也来佩服一下~
嗯，最令我佩服的就是思想了，看得出Eileen应该把题库全部翻过一遍了吧？能轻松地把论题分三段，前两个主体段还都分了三小点来谈，一个小时内完成，自愧不如啊，这样分下来想补充一些例子就很容易了。
“How can you tell the various thoughts ”可能写的时候有些激动，这种文章中不要出现you，用one代替。
还有berry应该是bury吧，同音字。
嗯，学习了！