【10G10Hawk】8月2日任务——Argument14

谦行天下UID: 2797557

写文

ARGUMENT14- The following appeared in a memo from the owner of Green Thumb GardeningCenter, a small business serving a suburban town.

"There is evidence that consumers arebecoming more and more interested in growing their own vegetables. A nationalsurvey conducted last month indicated that many consumers were dissatisfiedwith the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarkets. And locally,the gardening magazine Great Gardens has sold out atthe Village News stand three months in a row. Thus, we at Green Thumb GardeningCenter can increase our profits by greatly expanding the variety of vegetableseeds we stock for gardeners this coming spring."

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1-5-13-9-4-6-15-10-11

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8月3日准备写（BS自愿）

40"Scholars and researchers should not be concerned with whether their work makes a contribution to the larger society. It is more important that they pursue their individual interests, however unusual or idiosyncratic those interests may seem."

谦行天下UID: 2797557

In this argument, the author provides some evidence to support the opinion that consumers have increasing interests to growing vegetables, which include a survey which proves people’s negative attitude towards fresh vegetables in supermarket and a phenomenon that a gardening magazine has sold out at a stand. Then the author reckons that Green Thumb Gardening Center (GTGC) could increase their profits by expanding the vegetable seeds. This argument is well-presented, but it suffers from several logical flaws.

First of all, it is open to doubt the two evidences provided by the author can substantiate the growing interests for planting vegetables.

One is the national survey of people's attitude towards supermarket vegetables. The national survey may not verifiable in the suburban town where GTGC locate in. Since the national survey may include people from both urban and suburban, the result would not be accord to the situation in the suburban town. Suburban may close to the production factory of fresh vegetables which ensures their accessibility towards high quality of fresh vegetables. People's negative attitude towards fresh vegetable may be widely spread in urban, but not in suburban. Hence, the survey provides little support to people's dissatisfied attitudes in the suburban town.

The other evidence is that a gardening magazine has high issue. The author does not compare the issue of the magazine with previous days. If three months ago, the selling of the Great Garden was as well as these months, the author's statement of people's growing interests in the magazine is untenable. Even assuming that people is showing increasing interests in the magazine, it can prove that people are becoming more and more interested in growing their own vegetables. The author fails to give us information about the magazine Great Gardens. Great Gardens may mainly talk about horticulture of followers which function as decorations other than planting vegetables to eat. Therefore, high amount of selling out Great Gardens lends little support to people's increasing interests in growing their own vegetables.

Secondly, even people have growing interests in planting vegetable, the GTGC may not increase their profits as the author suggests. The author suggests increasing the variety of vegetable seeds on no conditions. As different vegetables grow in different seasons, it is not wise to stock large amount of seeds which germinated in seasons other than spring. Also, same vegetables may not be able to grow in this town because of geographic differences. Thus, it is not wise to give an absolute advise as the author does.

In conclusion, the author's suggestion for increasing the stock of vegetable seeds is doubtful. To substantiate his/her suggestion, the details of the national survey, the up growing selling of Green Gardens and the content of this magazine needs to be provided. The author need reconsider the range of vegetable seeds when he/she reaches conclusion.

======================第一次自改文===========
谢谢5号，体贴的妞:loveliness:
妞改得好仔细，我都改了，表扬表扬！
In this argument, the author provides some evidence to support the opinion that consumers have increasing interests to growing vegetables, which include a survey that proves people’s dissatisfied attitude towards fresh vegetables in supermarket and a phenomenon that a gardening magazine has sold out at a stand. Then the author reckons that Green Thumb Gardening Center (GTGC) could increase their profits by expanding the stock vegetable seeds. This argument is well-presented, but it suffers from several logical flaws.

First of all, it is open to doubt the two evidences provided by the author can substantiate the growing interests for planting vegetables.

One is the national survey of people's attitude towards supermarket vegetables. The national survey might not verifiable in the suburban town where GTGC locate in. Since the national survey may include people from both urban and suburban, the result would not accord with the situation in the suburban town. Suburban may close to the production factory of fresh vegetables which ensures their accessibility towards high quality of fresh vegetables. People's negative attitude towards fresh vegetable may be widely spread in urban, but not in suburban. Hence, the survey provides little support to people's dissatisfied attitudes in the suburban town.

The other evidence is that a gardening magazine has high circulation. The author does not compare the circulation of the magazine with previous days. If three months ago, the selling of the Great Garden was the same amount with these months, the author's statement of people's growing interests in the magazine is untenable. Even assuming that people is showing increasing interests in the magazine, it can not prove that people are becoming more and more interested in growing their own vegetables. The author fails to give us information about the magazine Great Gardens. Great Gardens may mainly talk about horticulture of followers which function as decorations other than planting vegetables to eat. Therefore, high amount of selling out Great Gardens lends little support to people's increasing interests in growing their own vegetables.

Secondly, even people have growing interests in planting vegetable, the GTGC may not increase their profits as the author suggests. The author suggests increasing the variety of vegetable seeds on no conditions. As different vegetables grow in different seasons, it is not wise to stock large amount of seeds which germinated in seasons other than spring. Also, some vegetables may not be able to grow in this town because of geographic differences. Thus, it is not wise to give an absolute advise as the author does.

In conclusion, the author's suggestion for increasing the stock of vegetable seeds is doubtful. To substantiate his/her suggestion, the details of the national survey, the up growing selling of Green Gardens and the content of this magazine needs to be provided. The author need reconsider the range of vegetable seeds when he/she is drawing the conclusion.

==============第二次自改文==============
话说今天很悲剧。。。。
我等到11点，11号没有给我改二改

=============第二次自改文====================

In this argument, the author provides some evidence to support the opinion that consumers have increasing interests to growing vegetables, which includes a survey that proves people’s dissatisfied attitude towards fresh vegetables in supermarket and a phenomenon that a gardening magazine has sold out at a stand. Then the author reckons that Green Thumb Gardening Center (GTGC) could increase their profits by expanding the stock vegetable seeds. This argument is well-presented, but it suffers from several logical flaws.

First of all, it is open to doubt the two evidences provided by the author can substantiate the growing interests for planting vegetables.

One is the national survey of people's attitude towards supermarket vegetables. The national survey might not verifiable in the suburban town where GTGC locate in. Since the national survey may include people from both urban and suburban, the result would not accord with the situation in the suburban town. Suburban may close to the production factory of fresh vegetables which ensures their accessibility towards high quality of fresh vegetables. People's negative attitude towards fresh vegetable may be widely spread in urban, but not in suburban. Hence, the survey provides little support to people's dissatisfied attitudes in the suburban town.

The other evidence is that a gardening magazine has high circulation. The author does not compare the circulation of the magazine with previous days. If three months ago, the selling of the Great Garden was the same amount with these months, the author's statement of people's growing interests in the magazine is untenable.

Even assuming that people is showing increasing interests in the magazine, it can not prove that people are becoming more and more interested in growing their own vegetables. The author fails to give us information about the magazine Great Gardens. It may mainly talk about horticulture of followers which function as decorations other than planting vegetables to eat. Therefore, high amount of selling out Great Gardens lends little support to people's increasing interests in growing their own vegetables.

Secondly, even people have growing interests in planting vegetable, the GTGC may not increase their profits as the author suggests. The author suggests increasing the variety of vegetable seeds on no conditions. As different vegetables grow in different seasons, it is not wise to stock large amount of seeds which germinated in seasons other than spring. Also, some vegetables may not be able to grow in this town because of geographic differences. Thus, it is not wise to give an absolute advice as the author does.

In conclusion, the author's suggestion for increasing the stock of vegetable seeds is doubtful. To substantiate his/her suggestion, the details of the national survey, the up growing selling of Green Gardens and the content of this magazine needs to be provided. The author need reconsider the range of vegetable seeds when he/she is drawing the conclusion.

谦行天下UID: 2797557

===============改11==============================
你的符号格式大多都错了
拼写错误比以前少，但还是有。你word里面，点工具，然后“拼写语法”就可以检查错误！请你百度一下吧！不行重装一个word
Wrong
Not Understand
My comment
In this argument ,the arguer suggest that Green Thunb Gardens could increase their profits by great expanding the variety of vegetable seeds they store for gardeners this coming spring换种方式表达吧！不要抄原题, maybe as a member of it. However, I can not agree with his prediction simply, for what he provided to support his conclusion is not sufficient enough, as I see.
开头稍显单薄！
The most important question lying in this argument is the author's ignoring of weather【写错了】 people are fond 加入 of in growing vegetables by themselves. Although a lot of people are not sated with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarket, there is no evidence rule out该句有两个谓语了 the possibility that they could buy fresh vegetables through other ways, for example, they can ask farmers to send vegetables and fruits to their neighbour directly and establish a long-going cooperation. After all, the people living in today's world are always busy, even they can not get fresh vegetables ,they have no time to grow on their own.
认为有其他方式除超市以外可以买蔬菜。
What' more, what is ture in a nation-wide survey doesn't mean it is also ture for the native. Perhaps the town where Green Thumb Gardening located in is an agricultural town, so that it is much easier for people here to get fresh and high quality vegetables.
调差不一定适应当地。
In addition , the arguer cited the example , concerning the best-selling of a gardening magazine called Great Gardens in the town also says nothing to convince us of his or her conclusion .【亲爱的，标点符号这样写是错的，句子后面紧接标点符号，再加一空格，再下一句，明白？】It is possible that people who buy the magazine are not using it for growing vegetables ,but only for a enjoyment of reading ; It is equally possible the total number of the magazine is so low ,for instance, only one or two ,that it is common for it to be sold up ,knowing as the best-seller.
Without ruling the posibilities above, there is no reason for me to accept the arguer's advice.
认为书不能证明大家喜爱
Granted people are likely to buy seeds to grow vegetables themselves, can we definitely get more profits buy taking the measure as the author' proposal . He says nothing about the increase cost for the company to expand the variety of the seeds .If so many people only prefer a certain kind seed , and others can't be sold out ; Or if the seeds don't fit to grow in the area here ,concequently, also no one want to buy them.
证profit问题
To sum up, what the auther maintains is not persuasive due to the above flaws and other possible factors. To make it generally accenpted , I advise the arguer to do some research of the native conditions , knowing clearly about what is really needed by their potention consumers ,so there would be a more structive strategy.
总的来说，本文不是一篇很有说服力的文章，各个地方攻击都没有分析彻底的感觉！慢慢来吧！先把符号一些基本问题解决！

==========================改5号======================================
改5号Final
Wrong
Not Understand
Good to learn
My Comment
From my prespective, the argument contains several facets that are questionable. First, the reliability and generalizability of the survey.该句不是一句话 Moreover, the arguer fails to examine alternative interpretations for what你最好写全了. Also, the argument assumes a correlation amounts to a causal relationship我认为你没有把问题直接说明白，是空壳. I will discuss each of these facets in turn.

In evaluating the evidence of the survey, one must consider how the suvery was conducted. The argument assumes that the nationwide statistics about many consumers were not satisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarket applies equally to specific local situation. Yet 我怎么觉得这里用However通一点的，说不上来this might not be the case, for a variety of possible reasons. Perhaps the suvery was focused on people who lived in downtown of large cities, and the supermakets might be their primary way to buy vegetables. Hence, the generalization drawn这个能表示论点的意思嘛？ might not apply to peopl who lived in suburb for they did not only depend on supermarkets but they also had grocery and farm用复数. In addition, even if consumers were dissatisfied with the vegetables, it is unlikely for to grow their own vegetables since planting vegetables costs a lot of time and vigor如果我用我会用energy. Without ruling out these possibilities, the arguer cannot justifiably explain the survey results.我觉得前面in addition的内容不属于这个，你可以考虑把in addition放到总结句后面，或者自成一段

The arguer fails to rule out alternative explannations……（it is too general）. Though the Great Gardens has sold out stand three months in a row, did this phenomenon denote consumers have interested in growing theire own vegetables? Without analyzing and weighing the content and sals volume of the magazine, the argument cannot guarantee undoubtedly making a considerable profit.如果从前往后读，我认为你这跳跃了一下，这里你应该说的是“书卖得多不能保证人们喜欢种菜” It might be the case that there had little content about vegetables in this magazine, consumers just need it to help beauty their gardens. It also might be the case that the circulation of this magazine was not so large that without many consumers' interested in could it be sold out for we are told nothing about the exactly amount of sales volume of this magazine.

Finally,符号格式错了even if one accepts the survey results, the argument remains questionable. The argument assumes that the correlation between expanding the variety of vegetable seeds and profit means that we at Green Thumb Gardening Center can increase our profits by greatly expanding the variety of vegetables seeds we stock for gardeners this coming spring. But the argument fails to provide sufficient evidence（what evidence? I think you need to illustrate a little more here to make you essay more persuasive） to support the conclusion. Besides, profit is a factor of not only revenue,but标点 also costs. It is entirely possible that the cost of so many kinds of seeds will offset, even outweigh the revenue. Furthermore, a myriad of other possible occurrence, such as unfavorable economic conditions, or unexpected economic recessions, might prevent our Green Thumb Gardening Center from being as profitable in the foreseeable future as the argument predicts. It's better to expand just some variety of seeds that surely existing market.


In conclusion, the argument, while it seems logocal at first, has several flaws as disscussed above. The argument could be improved by providing evidence that the correlation is indeed a causal relationship-- that buying more kinds of vegetables seeds can increase our profits. It could be further improved by ruling out alternative explanations for the supposed causal relationship.还是很空
话说，有些小问题！文中已详细标注！

sharonyeUID: 2862009

题目：ARGUMENT14 - The following appeared in a memo from the owner of Green Thumb Gardening Center, a small business serving a suburban town.

"There is evidence that consumers are becoming more and more interested in growing their own vegetables. A national survey conducted last month indicated that many consumers were dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarkets. And locally, the gardening magazine Great Gardens has sold out at the Village News stand three months in a row. Thus, we at Green Thumb Gardening Center can increase our profits by greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds we stock for gardeners this coming spring."
字数：464
用时：00:49:00
日期：2010-8-2
下午 01:39:35

In this argument ,the arguer suggest that Green Thunb Gardens could increase their profits by great expanding the variety of vegetable seeds they store for gardeners this coming spring , maybe as a member of it . However , I can not agree with his prediction simply,for what he provided to support his conclusion is not sufficient enough , as I see.

The most important question lying in this argument is the author's ignoring of weather people are fond in growing vegetables by themselves . Although a lot of people are not sated with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarket , there is no evidence rule out the possibility that they could buy fresh vegetables through other ways , for example ,they can ask farmers to send vegetables and fruits to their neighbour directly and establish a long-going cooperation. After all , the people living in today's world are always busy , even they can not get fresh vegetables ,they have no time to grow on their own .

What' more , what is ture in a nation-wide survey doesn't mean it is also ture for the native . Perhaps the town where Green Thumb Gardening located in is
an agricultural town ,so that it is much easier for people here to get fresh and high quality vegetables.

In addition , the arguer cited the example , concerning the best-selling of a gardening magazine called Great Gardens in the town also says nothing to convince us of his or her conclusion .It is possible that people who buy the magazine are not using it for growing vegetables ,but only for a enjoyment of reading ; It is equally possible the total number of the magazine is so low ,for instance, only one or two ,that it is common for it to be sold up ,knowing as the best-seller.
Without ruling the posibilities above ,there is no reason for me to accept the arguer's advice.

Granted people are likely to buy seeds to grow vegetables themselves , can we definitely get more profits buy taking the measure as the author' proposal . He says nothing about the increase cost for the company to expand the variety of the seeds .If so many people only prefer a certain kind seed , and others can't be sold out ; Or if the seeds don't fit to grow in the area here ,concequently,also no one want to buy them.

To sum up ,what the auther maintains is not persuasive due to the above flaws and other possible factors . To make it generally accenpted , I advise the arguer to do some research of the native conditions , knowing clearly about what is really needed by their potention consumers ,so there would be a more structive strategy.
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自改（呵呵，好像还是第一次，惭愧）
In this argument ,the arguer suggest that in order to get more profits, Green Thunb Gardens could expand the variety of vegetable seeds they store for gardeners this coming spring, and it could be a effective solution, maybe as a member of it. However, I can not agree with his prediction simply, for what he provided to support his conclusion is not sufficient enough, as I see.

The most important question lying in this argument is the author's ignoring of whether people are fond
of
in growing vegetables by themselves. Although a lot of people are not sated with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarket, there is no evidence ruling out
the possibility that they could buy fresh vegetables through other ways, for example, they can ask farmers to send vegetables and fruits to their neighbour directly and establish a long-going cooperation. After all, the people living in today's world are always busy, even they can not get fresh vegetables ,they have no time to grow on their own.

What' more, what is ture in a nation-wide survey doesn't mean it is also ture for the native. Perhaps the town where Green Thumb Gardening located in is an agricultural town, so that it is much easier for people here to get fresh and high quality vegetables. Let along there are also some problems lying in the survey. For example, no evidence were provided about the procedure so that I have much reason to doubt whether the sample is chosen randomly. If only people who always buy vegetables in the afternoon, it is common the result would be like in the survey, but isn’t representative enough.


In addition , the arguer cited the example , concerning the best-selling of a gardening magazine called Great Gardens in the town also says nothing to convince us of his or her conclusion. It is possible that people who buy the magazine are not using it for growing vegetables ,but only for
a enjoyment of reading ; It is equally possible the total number of the magazine is so low ,for instance, only one or two ,that it is common for it to be sold up ,knowing as the best-seller.

Without ruling the
possibilities
above, there is no reason for me to accept the arguer's advice.

Granted people are likely to buy seeds to grow vegetables themselves, can we definitely get more profits buy taking the measure as the author' proposal . He says nothing about the increase cost for the company to expand the variety of the seeds .If so many people only prefer a certain kind seed , and others can't be sold out ; Or if the seeds don't fit to grow in the area here, consequently, also no one want to buy them. And then, where will the profits come?

To sum up, what the author maintains is not persuasive due to the above flaws and other possible factors. To make it generally accenpted , I advise the arguer to do some research of the native conditions , knowing clearly about what is really needed by their potention consumers ,so there would be a more structive
strategy.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
自改二
In this argument ,the arguer suggest that in order to get more profits, Green Thunb Gardens could expand the variety of vegetable seeds they store for gardeners this coming spring, and it could be a effective solution, maybe as a member of it. However, I can not agree with his prediction simply, for what he provided to support his conclusion is not sufficient enough, as I see.

The most important question lying in this argument is the author's ignoring of whether people are fond of growing vegetables by themselves. Although a lot of people are not sated with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarket, there is no evidence ruling out the possibility that they could buy fresh vegetables through other ways, for example, they can ask farmers to send vegetables and fruits to their neighbour directly and establish a long-going cooperation. After all, the people living in today's world are always busy, even they can not get fresh vegetables ,they have no time to grow on their own.

What' more, what is ture in a nation-wide survey doesn't mean it is also ture
for the native. Perhaps the town where Green Thumb Gardening located in is an agricultural town, so that it is much easier for people here to get fresh and high quality vegetables. Let along there are also some problems lying in the survey. For example, no evidence was provided about the procedure so that I have much reason to doubt whether the sample is chosen randomly to be representative enough. If only people who always buy vegetables in the afternoon, it is common the result would be like in the survey------the thougus of low quality of the vegetables.

In addition , the arguer cited the example , concerning the best-selling of a gardening magazine called Great Gardens in the town also says nothing to convince us of his or her conclusion. It is possible that people who buy the magazine are not using it for growing vegetables ,but only for a enjoyment of reading, or they only want to learn some knowedge of gardening to decorate theie house;
It is equally possible the total number of the magazine is so low ,for instance, only one or two（我对这个问题的理解是虽然这种杂志在这里容易卖光，但也有可能是应为数量少，比如杂志亭就只库存一辆本，并不是说这种杂志的印刷地在这） that it is common for it to be sold up ,knowing as the best-seller.

Granted people are likely to buy seeds to grow vegetables themselves, can we definitely get more profits buy taking the measure as the author' proposal .
He says nothing about the increase cost for the company to expand the variety of the seeds .If so many people only prefer a certain kind seed , and others can't be sold out ; Or if the seeds don't fit to grow in the area here, consequently, also no one want to buy them. And then, where will the profits come?
Without ruling the possibilities above, there is no reason for me to accept the arguer's advice.
To sum up, what the author maintains is not persuasive due to the above flaws and other possible factors. To make it generally accenpted , I advise the arguer to do some research of the native conditions , knowing clearly about what is really needed by their potention consumers ,so there would be a more structive
strategy.

sharonyeUID: 2862009

In this argument, the speaker recommends that Green Thumb Gardening Center can increase profits by expanding the variety of vegetable seeds. To justify this statement, he provides two evidences, one is that many consumers were dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarkets in a survey, the other one is that the gardening magazine has sold out at the Village News in three months locally. It seems reasonable in a first glance, however, after careful examining i would propose several mistakes that the author has made.（过于模板了，我也经常是，但据说这样重复题目内容除了凑字外，就是浪费时间了）

First in the case of national survey’s result’s coming out, although a masses were unpleasant with the vegetables available in super markets as a result, but there is no evidence to show that this research is believable. The respondents may not give a true answer in this survey in a willing of pursuing the markets to serve better. They also have different opinion of fresh vegetables while somebody may think them fresh but other may think the same vegetables not enough fresh. What's more, there are so many supermarkets in a whole country, and the survey showed that not all the markets were dissatisfied by the consumers.（这可以继续展开，比如说当地人的market提供fresh ）So we have no idea that in which cities do those poor markets locate. After all, given that the result of this research is convincing, the argument depends on a dubious assumption that the national levels of satisfaction with store-bought groceries could reflects the level of a certain area. Furthermore, granted that the survey is true in the situation of this local city, it doesn't mean that there is no way but to provide citizens a variety of vegetable seeds for them to eat vegetables. Civilians can buy vegetables from personal, from countryside and the like, and the supermarkets may also rise the quality of the vegetables in sale.

Second in the case of the gardening magazine selling out in local, the author is far more arbitrary to define that people would like to plant vegetables by themselves from this sale record. First of all, a gardening magazine includes not only something about vegetables but also plenty of things about fruits, flowers and so on. The person who pays attention to this magazine is not so sure to pay attention in the part of vegetables. Secondly, like to watch magazine isn't equal to like to grow their own vegetables. Readers may just want to know the lives of farmers, or just want to see the beautiful pictures, or even just want something to read. What's more, we do not know the content and circulation of the magazine, thus the fact that the magazine has sold out three months in a row does not necessarily indicate that people in this area are interested in planting vegetables themselves. Even if that people bought Great Gardens to learn to grow vegetables by themselves, this sale record was happened in only three months which may probably be in a harvest season（我觉得这个论据有问题，一般是在开始时学习，而不是丰收时）. So it may not make sense for Green Thumb Gardening Center to offer vegetable seeds in spring which is not a harvest season.

Otherwise, there still has（语法） many other flaws in this argument. Such as, the arguer fails to provide any information about what fraction of consumers buy their vegetables from supermarkets, and he also fails to convince us that the gardening magazine Great Gardens is indeed popular among residents and the like（上文说的就是这个呀）.（一般提可能性用的是奇数个例子，虽然我也不知道原因，还有，这段不具有建设性，可以多提一些factor么）

To sum, the editor’s argument cannot be taken seriously as it stands. To strengthen it, the editor must show the local survey of whether people want to plant vegetables by themselves and also get a research of citizens that whether they desire to buy seeds in a center.

hwslqcUID: 2861597

啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊，又没把握好时间。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。


TOPIC: ARGUMENT14 - The following appeared in a memo from the owner of Green Thumb Gardening Center, a small business serving a suburban town.

"There is evidence that consumers are becoming more and more interested in growing their own vegetables. A national survey conducted last month indicated that many consumers were dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarkets. And locally, the gardening magazine Great Gardens has sold out at the Village News stand three months in a row. Thus, we at Green Thumb Gardening Center can increase our profits by greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds we stock for gardeners this coming spring."
WORDS: 561
TIME: 00:35:00
DATE: 2010-8-2 14:01:19

The notion that Green Thumb Gardening Center (GTGC) can increase their profits by greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds seems sound and convincing at first glancing. After all, the national survey conducted last month indicated that many consumers were dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables available in super markets and the gardening magazine Great Gardens(GG) has sole out at the Village News stand three months in a row. However, close scrutiny of each of the evidence reveals that none of them can lend credible support to the conclusion.

First of all, the national survey can not be the convincing evidence to prove the local people are dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables here. As the arguer does not provide any information about the national survey, the credible of the survey is doubtable. If the number of respondents to the survey is too small, it will mislead the conclusion. And even if the national survey is convincing, the difference between the whole nation and local environment is overlooked by the arguer. The national survey can not represent the people in this town, which means maybe the local people are greatly satisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables in supermarket here. And it is highly possible that the average national consumer have to buy vegetables in supermarket, but the people in this town can buy vegetables from small markets or the farmers directly, which has nothing to do with survey's result. Without ruling all the possibilities I mentioned above, the mid-conclusion that the local people are dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetable is undermined.

And it is presumptuous to judge the most people in this suburban town would like to grow their own vegetables from the GG’s sold out in Village News(VN) stand. As we do not know the number of GG sold in VN stand, chances are that the number is so small that it can be all purchased by a small group of people, which mean it can not represent the most people's opinion. After that, the arguer does not tell us the substance of GG. If GG mainly tells people how to make their gardens more beautiful or how to grow flowers in the garden, it will guarantee people want to grow vegetables.

Even if the two assumptions I mentioned above is proved, which is of course an unwarranted assumption, whether GTGC can increase their profits by expanding of the variety of vegetable seeds is still doubtable. The profit is based on both the cost and the income. If the people here only want to grow one or two kinds of vegetables, the expanding of the variety of vegetable seeds will just cause the opposite result. Even if the cost is small and the demand of variety of vegetable seeds is increasing, the arguer also overlooked the competitors. If the consumer in this town prefer to buy seeds from GCGT's competitors, the profits of GCGT will also be influenced.

After pointing out so many flaws in this argument, now we can clearly say that the evidences provided by the arguer can not be relied on. Maybe the conclusion is right. Before claiming such conclusion, the arguer need to provide more persuasive, practical and professional data, for instance, the opinion of the local people, the economic environment, the cost of the seeds, the competitors' information and so on.
===============================================================================================================================================
The notion that Green Thumb Gardening Center (GTGC) can increase their profits by greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds seems sound and convincing at first glancing. After all, the national survey conducted last month indicated that many consumers were dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarkets and the gardening magazine Great Gardens(GG) has sole out at the Village News stand in last three months. However, close scrutiny of each of the evidence reveals that none of them can lend credible support to the conclusion.

First of all, the national survey can not be the convincing evidence to prove the local people are dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables here. As the arguer does not provide any information about the national survey, the credibility of the survey is doubtable. If the number of respondents to the survey is too small, it will mislead the conclusion. And even if the national survey is convincing, the difference between the whole nation and local environment is overlooked by the arguer. The national survey can not represent the opinion of people in this town, which means maybe the local people are greatly satisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables in supermarket here. And it is highly possible that the average national consumer have to buy vegetables in supermarket, but the people in this town can buy vegetables from small markets or the farmers directly, which has nothing to do with survey's result. Without ruling all the possibilities I mentioned above, the mid-conclusion that the local people are dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetable is undermined.

And it is presumptuous to draw the conclusion that the most people in this suburban town would like to grow their own vegetables from the GG’s sold out in Village News (VN) stand. As we do not know the number of GG sold in VN stand, chances are that the number is so small that it can be all purchased by a small group of people, which mean it can not represent the most people's opinion. After that, the arguer does not tell us the substance of GG. If GG mainly tells people how to make their gardens more beautiful or how to grow flowers in the garden, it will guarantee people want to grow vegetables.

Even if the two assumptions I mentioned above is proved, which is of course an unwarranted assumption, whether GTGC can increase their profits by expanding of the variety of vegetable seeds is still doubtable. The profit is based on both the cost and the income. If the people here only want to grow one or two kinds of vegetables, the expanding of the variety of vegetable seeds will just cause the opposite result. Even if the cost is small and the demand of variety of vegetable seeds is increasing, the arguer also overlooked the competitors. If the consumer in this town prefer to buy seeds from GCGT's competitors, the profits of GCGT will also be influenced.

After pointing out so many flaws in this argument, now we can clearly say that the evidences provided by the arguer can not be relied on. Maybe the conclusion is right. Before claiming such conclusion, the arguer need to provide more persuasive, practical and professional data, for instance, the opinion of the local people, the economic environment, the cost of the seeds, the competitors' information and so on.

hwslqcUID: 2861597

改13
"There is evidence that consumers are becoming more and more interested in growing their own vegetables. A national survey conducted last month indicated that many consumers were dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarkets. And locally, the gardening magazine Great Gardens has sold out at the Village News stand three months in a row. Thus, we at Green Thumb Gardening Center can increase our profits by greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds we stock for gardeners this coming spring."
WORDS: 462          TIME: 00:40:00          DATE: 2010-8-2 15:15:26

In this argument, the owner of the Green Thumb Gardening Center (GTGC) concludes that they should stock a variety of vegetables seeds for the gardeners this coming spring in order to gain profits from it. To support his conclusion, the owner cites a national survey indicating the dissatisfaction toward the vegetables available in the supermarkets. Moreover, the owner also points out that a gardening magazine Great Garden has sold out at the Village News stand for three months. This argument suffers from several logical flaws which renders it unconvincing as it stands.

To begin with, the owner unfairly assumes that the result of the national survey can be applied equally in the town which GTGC serves. It is entirely possible that the quality of the vegetables in the supermarkets there(there 指代不明) is considerably high and residents are more willing to buy vegetables from the supermarkets. Without considering and ruling out this possibility, the owner could not conclude that residents in the small town are not content with the supermarket vegetables.（多写几个可能性会不会比较好，一个太少了）

Next, the selling-out of a gardening magazine Great Gardens is no indication that people have the desires to grow vegetables by  themselves. Perhaps the news stand stocked only a small number of that magazine thus it could easily sell them out. Or perhaps this magazine is nothing about the growing of vegetables; instead it might teach people how to grow flowers. Either scenario, if true, would serve to undermine the argument severely.

Moreover, granted that local residents are not satisfied with the vegetables in the supermarkets and have strong desires to grow their own vegetables, the argument also depends on this assumption that people would therefore buy the seeds and start growing vegetables. Yet this might not necessarily be the case. The owner overlooks other alternative ways in which people might get vegetables. It is quite possible that people will buy vegetables directly from the farmers. For this matter, it is entirely possible that people can purchase vegetables from small stores rather than the supermarket. （红色的句子和你后文的论证没有关系。你都承认他们想grow their own vegetables 还说后面的从其它地方买这不是搞笑么？）

Finally yet importantly, the owner's claim that they would profit greatly by storing more seeds is unwarranted. Common sense and experience has informed me that profit is a function of revenue and cost. Even if GTGC can sell out more seeds, thus making a large revenue, it is equally possible the cost of the seeds has increased dramatically. If so, then the profits the owner claims could not be guaranteed.（重复使用guaranteed，能换个词可能更好。）

To sum up, this argument can not convince me. In order to strengthen the argument, the owner must provide me with more evidences to show people really could not stand the vegetables in the supermarket and they actually would grow their own vegetables. I also need more evidence about the cost of the seeds GTGC would store.
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改15

The arguer asserts that Green Thumb Gardening Center can make profits by increasing the variety of vegetable seeds for gardeners. He/She drew this conclusion by（from）two facts---a national survey aimed at people's affection to vegetables
（at supermarket） and the local selling condition of a gardening magazine. Though the evidence seems to be perfect, a careful investigation into this argument will show how groundless the conclusion is.

First of all, neither of the two evidences can serve well as a support to the first assertion that consumers gain more and more interest in growing vegetables themselves.  The first survey indicated the consumers' dissatisfaction with the quality of fresh vegetables sold in supermarkets. Just because the consumers are not satisfied with the selling vegetables, it does not mean that they prefer to grow vegetables themselves. Perhaps they only want to arouse the attention of local authorities through the complaint. In addition, through the second facts that Great Gardens has sold out at the Village News stand in three consecutive months, the arguer comes to the same assertion as the first survey. Yet, there might be several other possibilities: perhaps the local people are interested reading that book because its reasonable price and various contents, or perhaps Great Gardens launches a campaign such as a ,which appealed a lot of local people. Without ruling out all the possibilities, the arguer cannot make any assertion.
(证据12都推不出人们想要自己种植蔬菜)
What's more, since Green Thumb Gardening Center is a small business serving a suburban town, a national survey on a large scale cannot be representative to show the demand of the local people. For example, maybe the citizens living in the center of the city are the main part who are unsatisfied with the vegetables while people who lives in the countryside prefers to eat the local selling vegetables, thus making the results of the national survey hard to attest the affection of the countryside people on the vegetables. Or perhaps those who dislike the vegetables in supermarkets are favor of that in small stores, which will also mislead（给xxx错误印象，把xxx带坏） the national survey.（我猜这个mislead你不是想形容NS……） The arguer failed to give the powerful（没怎么听说过powerful information…） background information of the national survey, and without attesting the representatives of the survey, the arguer can not show his assertion to be right.
（证据1 是无法代表当地人们的喜好）
Last but not least, even if the logical problems mentioned are all solved, there still lies a big problem in the conclusion. The arguer asserts that expanding the diversity of vegetable seeds is good for increasing the shop's profits. However, the arguer failed to consider that if local people prefer to grow vegetables themselves, what are they mainly interested in or which is in great need, the sort of vegetables or the device for gardening themselves? If they are interested in the latter one, it is advisable for the shop to provide more devices for gardening and practical gardening skills for people. In order to get the accurate information on the consumers' demands, the arguer should launch a local survey first（如果能更侧重的诠释下增加种类不能带来利益就更好了。毕竟A是找错，不是提出自己的建议。。。。。）

In sum, to substantiate the arguer's assertion that expanding the sort of vegetable seeds can increase profits, the arguer should give abundant information of the affection of local people, and a local survey is preferred.（结尾略显单薄，不过无伤大雅）

austen06UID: 2841836

题目：ARGUMENT14 - The following appeared in a memo from the owner of Green Thumb Gardening Center, a small business serving a suburban town.

"There is evidence that consumers are becoming more and more interested in growing their own vegetables. A national survey conducted last month indicated that many consumers were dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarkets. And locally, the gardening magazine Great Gardens has sold out at the Village News stand three months in a row. Thus, we at Green Thumb Gardening Center can increase our profits by greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds we stock for gardeners this coming spring."
WORDS: 462          TIME: 00:40:00          DATE: 2010-8-2 15:15:26

In this argument, the owner of the Green Thumb Gardening Center (GTGC) concludes that they should stock a variety of vegetables seeds for the gardeners this coming spring in order to gain profits from it. To support his conclusion, the owner cites a national survey indicating the dissatisfaction toward the vegetables available in the supermarkets. Moreover, the owner also points out that a gardening magazine Great Garden has sold out at the Village News stand for three months. This argument suffers from several logical flaws which renders it unconvincing as it stands.

To begin with, the owner unfairly assumes that the result of the national survey can be applied equally in the town which GTGC serves. It is entirely possible that the quality of the vegetables in the supermarkets there is considerably high and residents are more willing to buy vegetables from the supermarkets. Without considering and ruling out this possibility, the owner could not conclude that residents in the small town are not content with the supermarket vegetables.

Next, the selling-out of a gardening magazine Great Gardens is no indication that people have the desires to grow vegetables by  themselves. Perhaps the news stand stocked only a small number of that magazine thus it could easily sell them out. Or perhaps this magazine is nothing about the growing of vegetables; instead it might teach people how to grow flowers. Either scenario, if true, would serve to undermine the argument severely.

Moreover, granted that local residents are not satisfied with the vegetables in the supermarkets and have strong desires to grow their own vegetables, the argument also depends on this assumption that people would therefore buy the seeds and start growing vegetables. Yet this might not necessarily be the case. The owner overlooks other alternative ways in which people might get vegetables. It is quite possible that people will buy vegetables directly from the farmers. For this matter, it is entirely possible that people can purchase vegetables from small stores rather than the supermarket.

Finally yet importantly, the owner's claim that they would profit greatly by storing more seeds is unwarranted. Common sense and experience has informed me that profit is a function of revenue and cost. Even if GTGC can sell out more seeds, thus making a large revenue, it is equally possible the cost of the seeds has increased dramatically. If so, then the profits the owner claims could not be guaranteed.

To sum up, this argument can not convince me. In order to strengthen the argument, the owner must provide me with more evidences to show people really could not stand the vegetables in the supermarket and they actually would grow their own vegetables. I also need more evidence about the cost of the seeds GTGC would store.

自改一=================================================

In this argument, the owner of the Green Thumb Gardening Center (GTGC) concludes that they should stock a variety of vegetables seeds for the gardeners this coming spring in order to gain profits from it. To support his conclusion, the owner cites a national survey indicating the dissatisfaction toward the vegetables available in the supermarkets. Moreover, the owner also points out that a gardening magazine Great Garden has sold out at the Village News stand for three months. This argument suffers from several logical flaws which renders it unconvincing as it stands.

To begin with, the owner unfairly assumes that the result of the national survey can be applied equally in the town which GTGC serves. It is entirely possible that the quality of the vegetables in the supermarkets is considerably high and residents are more willing to buy vegetables from the supermarkets. Without considering and ruling out this possibility, the owner could not conclude that residents in the small town are not content with the supermarket vegetables.

Next, the selling-out of a gardening magazine Great Gardens is no indication that people have the desires to grow vegetables by  themselves. Perhaps the news stand stocked only a small number of that magazine thus it could easily sell them out. Or perhaps this magazine is nothing about the growing of vegetables; instead it might teach people how to grow flowers or how to manage the whole garden. Either scenario, if true, would serve to undermine the argument severely.

Moreover, granted that local residents are not satisfied with the vegetables in the supermarkets, the argument also depends on this assumption that people would actually buy the seeds and start growing vegetables. Yet this might not necessarily be the case. The owner overlooks other alternative ways in which people might get vegetables. It is quite possible that people will buy vegetables directly from the farmers. For this matter, it is entirely possible that people can purchase vegetables from small stores rather than the supermarket. Without considering and ruling out other possible ways, it is unjustifiably for the owner to conclude that people would indeed grow their own vegetables.

Finally yet importantly, the owner's claim that they would profit greatly by storing more seeds is unwarranted. Common sense and experience has informed me that profit is a function of revenue and cost. Even if GTGC can sell out more seeds, thus making a large revenue, it is equally possible the cost of the seeds has increased dramatically. If so, then the profits the owner claims could not be guaranteed.

To sum up, this argument can not convince me. In order to strengthen the argument, the owner must provide me with more evidences to show people really could not stand the vegetables in the supermarket and they actually would grow their own vegetables. I also need more evidence about the cost of the seeds GTGC would store.

austen06UID: 2841836

TOPIC: ARGUMENT14 - The following appeared in a memo from the owner of Green Thumb Gardening Center, a small business serving a suburban town.

"There is evidence that consumers are becoming more and more interested in growing their own vegetables. A national survey conducted last month indicated that many consumers were dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarkets. And locally, the gardening magazine Great Gardens has sold out at the Village News stand three months in a row. Thus, we at Green Thumb Gardening Center can increase our profits by greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds we stock for gardeners this coming spring."
WORDS: 561
TIME: 00:35:00
DATE: 2010-8-2 14:01:19

The notion that Green Thumb Gardening Center (GTGC) can increase their profits by greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds seems sound and convincing at first glancing. After all, the national survey conducted last month indicated that many consumers were dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables available in super markets and the gardening magazine Great Gardens(GG) has sole out at the Village News stand three months in a row. However, close scrutiny of each of the evidence reveals that none of them can lend credible support to the conclusion.

First of all, the national survey can not be the convincing evidence to prove the local people are dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables here. As the arguer does not provide any information about the national survey, the credible of the survey is doubtable. If the number of respondents to the survey is too small, it will mislead the conclusion. And even if the national survey is convincing, the difference between the whole nation and local environment is overlooked by the arguer. The national survey can not represent the people（represent前后两个应该是对等的事物） in this town, which means maybe the local people are greatly satisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables in supermarket here. And it is highly possible that the average national consumer have to buy vegetables in supermarket, but the people in this town can buy vegetables from small markets or the farmers directly, which has nothing to do with survey's result. Without ruling all the possibilities I mentioned above, the mid-conclusion that the local people are dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetable is undermined.  （这段写了两个错误，觉得不能混起来写，应该先写有效性，接着让步，写misapplied的错误）

And it is presumptuous to judge the most people in this suburban town would like to grow their own vegetables from the GG’s sold-out in Village News(VN) stand. As we do not know the number of GG sold in VN stand, chances are that the number is so small that it can be all purchased by a small group of people, which mean it can not represent the most people's opinion. After that, the arguer does not tell us the substance of GG. If GG mainly tells people how to make their gardens more beautiful or how to grow flowers in the garden, it will guarantee people want to grow vegetables.

Even if the two assumptions I mentioned above is proved, which is of course an unwarranted assumption, whether GTGC can increase their profits by expanding of the variety of vegetable seeds is still doubtable. The profit is based on both the cost and the income. If the people here only want to grow one or two kinds of vegetables, the expanding of the variety of vegetable seeds will just cause the opposite result. Even if the cost is small and the demand of variety of vegetable seeds is increasing, the arguer also overlooked the competitors. If the consumer in this town prefer to buy seeds from GCGT's competitors, the profits of GCGT will also be influenced.

After pointing out so many flaws in this argument, now we can clearly say that the evidences provided by the arguer can not be relied on.(不是证据不能依赖，而是假设不一定成立，需要更多信息） Maybe the conclusion is right. Before claiming such conclusion, the arguer need to provide more persuasive, practical and professional data, for instance, the opinion of the local people, the economic environment, the cost of the seeds, the competitors' information and so on.

=========================================================================================================
The notion that Green Thumb Gardening Center (GTGC) can increase their profits by greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds seems sound and convincing at first glancing(glance). After all, the national survey conducted last month indicated that many consumers were dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarkets and the gardening magazine Great Gardens(GG) has sole out at the Village News stand in last three months. However, close scrutiny of each of the evidence reveals that none of them can lend credible support to the conclusion.

First of all, the national survey can not be the convincing evidence to prove the local people are dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables here. As the arguer does not provide any information about the national survey, the credibility of the survey is doubtable. If the number of respondents to the survey is too small, it will mislead the conclusion. And even if the national survey is convincing, the difference between the whole nation and local environment is overlooked by the arguer. The national survey can not represent(应该是小代表大，大反映小） the opinion of people in this town, which means maybe the local people are greatly satisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables in supermarket here. And it is highly possible that the average national consumer have to buy vegetables in supermarket, but the people in this town can buy vegetables from small markets or the farmers directly, which has nothing to do with survey's result. Without ruling all the possibilities I mentioned above, the mid-conclusion that the local people are dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetable is undermined.

And it is presumptuous to draw the conclusion that the most people in this suburban town would like to grow their own vegetables from the GG’s sold out in Village News (VN) stand. As we do not know the number of GG sold in VN stand, chances are that the number is so small that it can be all purchased by a small group of people, which mean it can not represent the most people's opinion. After that, the arguer does not tell us the substance of GG. If GG mainly tells people how to make their gardens more beautiful or how to grow flowers in the garden, it will guarantee people want to grow vegetables.（写反了吧）

Even if the two assumptions I mentioned above is proved,（证明了假设？） which is of course an unwarranted assumption, （这个定语从句很累赘，而且单复数也不对）whether GTGC can increase their profits by expanding of the variety of vegetable seeds is still doubtable. The profit is based on both the cost and the income. If the people here only want to grow one or two kinds of vegetables, the expanding of the variety of vegetable seeds will just cause the opposite result. Even if the cost is small and the demand of variety of vegetable seeds is increasing, the arguer also overlooked the competitors. If the consumer in this town prefer to buy seeds from GCGT's competitors, the profits of GCGT will also be influenced.

After pointing out so many flaws in this argument, now we can clearly say that the evidences provided by the arguer can not be relied on. Maybe the conclusion is right. Before claiming such conclusion, the arguer need to provide more persuasive, practical and professional data, for instance, the opinion of the local people, the economic environment, the cost of the seeds, the competitors' information and so on.

czlilacUID: 2842584

TOPIC: ARGUMENT14 - The following appeared in a memo from the owner of Green Thumb Gardening Center, a small business serving a suburban town.

"There is evidence that consumers are becoming more and more interested in growing their own vegetables. A national survey conducted last month indicated that many consumers were dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarkets. And locally, the gardening magazine Great Gardens has sold out at the Village News stand three months in a row. Thus, we at Green Thumb Gardening Center can increase our profits by greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds we stock for gardeners this coming spring."
WORDS: 366
TIME: 00:30:15
DATE: 2010-8-2 15:15:06

In this argument, the memo's proposition of they should expand the variety of vegetable seeds in order to increase their profits sounds plausible at first glance, but the evidences that have been involved neither cover sufficient witness to support the conclusion, nor substantiate the recommendation is convincing and compelling.

The premise of the memo is that a national survey has showed that many consumers were dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarkets. However, the author have overlooked the fact that the consumers who do not satisfy the supermarkets' vegetables does not mean they will be likely to plant vegetables by themselves. Perhaps, they just want to express their discontent, and they can not get the land to plant vegetables at all. In addition, the survey is nationwide, so it can not indicate that the dwellers in suburban town affronts with the same situation, it may be the inhabitants in this town satisfy the supermarkets' vegetable very much. It is, as a result, not rational for the author to achieve the conclusion.

Furthermore, it is mentioned in the memo that the local's gardening magazine Great Gardens is very popular, while he/she has failed to provide more careful information about the magazine. Is it about how to grow vegetables or others? It is likely that the magazine mainly teach readers how to grow trees or how to transfigure their garden. Even if it is about how to grow vegetables, we still can not get the conclusion that the readers will put it into practice.

Again, the author fails to provide us the cost of growing vegetables by the inhabitants. Perhaps, the price of land is very expensive and the cost of growing seeds is very high as well. Then the dwellers will give up growing their own vegetables, and if they expand the variety of vegetable seeds in their store they maybe can't get much profits because of the cost is very high and not too many people to buy their seeds, especially the author have not provided what kinds of seeds is most popular.

In sum, before any decisions have made, the author should well reason more compelling and persuasive alternatives presented above. And the cost of expanding the variety of vegetable seeds should be provided as well. Meanwhile the author should give the definite statistics of how many people are willing to grow their own vegetables? Why they want to do this? And how about the prospect of market if they expanding the variety of vegetable seeds?

-------------------------------------------------------------------改1-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In this argument, the memo's proposition of they should expand the variety of vegetable seeds in order to increase their profits sounds plausible at first glance, but the evidences that have been involved neither cover sufficient witness to support the conclusion, nor substantiate the recommendation is convincing and compelling.

The premise of the memo is that a national survey has showed that many consumers were dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarkets. However, the author have overlooked the fact that the consumers who do not satisfy the supermarkets' vegetables does not mean they will be likely to plant vegetables by themselves. Perhaps, they just want to express their discontent, or even they can not get the land to plant vegetables at all. In addition, the survey is nationwide, so it can not indicate that the dwellers in suburban town faces the same situation, it may be the inhabitants in this town satisfy the supermarkets' vegetable very much, as we all know, the vegetables in suburbans are always fresher rather in cities. It is, as a result, not rational for the author to affirm that the residents will grow their own vegetables.

Furthermore, it is mentioned in the memo that the local's gardening magazine Great Gardens is very popular in last three months, while he/she has failed to provide more careful information about the magazine. Is it about how to grow vegetables or others? It is likely that the magazine mainly teaches readers how to grow trees and flowers or how to transfigure their garden. In addition, there is no evidence to show that the causality between the residents to buy the magazine and to plant their own vegetables, it is completely possible that they want to aquaint who to grow flowers, or they just want to buy it.

Again, the author fails to provide us the cost of growing vegetables by the inhabitants. Perhaps, the price of land is very expensive and the cost of growing seeds is very high as well. Then the dwellers will give up growing their own vegetables, and if they expand the variety of vegetable seeds in their store, it is likely that they can still hardly benefit from selling vegetable seeds, because the cost of expanding is very high and the profit of selling seeds can not complement that have spent on it, and what kinds of vegetables are most popular should also be invested before introducing them.

In sum, before any decisions have made, the author should well reason more compelling and persuasive alternatives presented above. Especially, whether they can make a profit, the key determinants are the concrete number of dwellers who will undoubtedly plant their own vegetables, and which kind of vegetable seed is their favorite, as well as the cost of expanding.

czlilacUID: 2842584

修改：[6]mjg970923

In this argument, the author asserts that Green Thumb Gardening Center(GTGC) can increase profits by expanding the seeds because of the consumers are becoming interesting in growing their own vegetables. To espouse these conclusions, the author assumes that a nation survey shows the consumers were(are) dissatisfied with the vegetables(.) Furthermore, (the) author concludes that the magazine about vegetable has sold out three months in a row as the evidence. From my perspective, none of these assertions or assumption is well supported by cogent premises and reasonable demonstration.
Fundamentally, the main mistake is that there is no relationship between the consumers becoming interested in growing their own vegetables and enjoying the gardening magazine. first(First), they just have some curiosity about how the vegetables growing and the knowledge about the vegetables probably . Such as when we have diabetes, we should eat more pumpkin. If we have phlegm in the throat, fat melon is a good choice. Second, the number of the magazine(s) is(are) not supported. Maybe there is not a active demand of the magazine, the retailers always glad to sell out all the magazine(s) of present month.  The remnant one is a problem for the retailers.
Even assuming the consumers enjoying to growing their own vegetables by themselves as well, it still has another fallacy that weakens in this argument that there is no evidence to supports(去掉s) that the consumers have the property farmland(你是要表达土地所有权还是什么？如果的话应该是property in farmland) to growing the vegetables. As we known, farmer is the expert about(什么方面的专家用in) growing vegetables. On the contrary, the people who live in urban is lack of the knowledge about vegetables(住在城里的不见得就缺少种菜的知识吧，毕竟不是所有人种). But there is almost not have a proper condition for people to growing vegetables, their interest is just the knowledge.
Moreover, the author uses a mere fact to generalize wide situation. The national survey cannot reflect the real condition in the town. So assumption about our consumers were dissatisfied with the vegetables is groundless. In my opinion, there is a possible thing that all the fresh vegetable is made from(vegetable应该不能用be made from 用be grown in) our town, the quality of vegetables is falling because the long-distance transport.
In a nutshell, I have analyzed so many flaws in the argument. In my opinion, the argument should reason more convincingly. So if I were the author I would account the evidence such as the number of the magazine(s) in the Great Gardens to make the argument more cogent while the condition of our town for growing vegetables also needs to be supported.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------改PsMaggie--------------------------------------------------------------
In this argument, the speaker recommends that Green Thumb Gardening Center can increase profits by expanding the variety of vegetable seeds. To justify this statement, he provides two evidences, one is that many consumers were dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarkets in a survey, the other one is that the gardening magazine has sold out at the Village News in three months locally. It seems reasonable in a first glance, however, after careful examining i would propose several mistakes that the author has made.

First in the case of national survey’s result’s coming out(这句可以改下，感觉不好), although a masses was unpleasant with the vegetables available in super markets as a result, but there is no evidence to show that this research is believable. The respondents may not give a true answer in this survey in a willing of pursuing the markets to serve better. They also have different opinion of fresh vegetables while somebody may think them fresh but other may think the same vegetables not enough fresh. What's more, there are so many supermarkets in a whole country, and the survey showed that not all the markets were dissatisfied by the consumers. So we have no idea that in which cities do those poor markets locate. After all, given that the result of this research is convincing, the author have overlooked the fact that the consumers who do not satisfy the supermarkets' vegetables does not mean they will be likely to plant vegetables by themselves. In other words, it doesn't mean that there is no way but to provide citizens a variety of vegetable seeds for them to eat vegetables. Civilians can buy vegetables from personal, from countryside and the like, and the supermarkets may also rise the quality of the vegetables in sale.

Second in the case of the gardening magazine selling out in local, the author is far more arbitrary to define that people would like to plant vegetables by themselves from this sale record. First of all, a gardening magazine includes not only something about vegetables but also plenty of things about fruits, flowers and so on. The person who pays attention to this magazine is not so sure to pay attention in the part of vegetables. Secondly, like to watch magazine isn't equal to like to grow their own vegetables. Readers may just want to know the lives of farmers, or just want to see the beautiful pictures, or even just want something to read. What's more, we do not know the content and circulation of the magazine, thus the fact that the magazine has sold out three months in a row does not necessarily indicate that people in this area are interested in planting vegetables themselves. Even if that people bought Great Gardens to learn to grow vegetables by themselves, this sale record was happened in only three months which may probably be in a harvest season. So it may not make sense for Green Thumb Gardening Center to offer vegetable seeds in spring which is not a harvest season.

Otherwise, there still are(are still) many other flaws in this argument. Such as, the author also fails to convince us that the gardening magazine Great Gardens is indeed popular among residents and the like. Chances are that few readers subscribe to this magazine thus the circulation of this magazine can’t be numerous. In this case there is no weird to heard that Great Gardens had all sold out.

To sum, the editor’s argument cannot be taken seriously as it stands. To strengthen it, the editor must show the local survey of whether people want to plant vegetables by themselves and also get a research of citizens that whether they desire to buy seeds in a center.

finalleUID: 2812504

TOPIC: ARGUMENT14 - The following appeared in a memo from the owner of Green Thumb Gardening Center, a small business serving a suburban town.
"There is evidence that consumers are becoming more and more interested in growing their own vegetables. A national survey conducted last month indicated that many consumers were dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarkets. And locally, the gardening magazine Great Gardens has sold out at the Village News stand three months in a row. Thus, we at Green Thumb Gardening Center can increase our profits by greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds we stock for gardeners this coming spring."
WORDS: 519         TIME: 01:00:00          DATE: 2010/8/2 22:39:21
From my prespective, the argument contains several facets that are questionable. First, the reliability and generalizability of the survey. Moreover, the arguer fails to examine alternative interpretations. Also, the argument assumes a correlation amounts to a causal relationship. I will discuss each of these facets in turn.
In evaluating the evidence of the survey, one must consider how the suvery was conducted. The argument assumes that the nationwide statistics about many consumers were not satisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarket applies equally to specific local situation. Yet this might not be the case, for a variety of possible reasons. Perhaps the suvery was focused on people who lived in downtown of large cities, and the supermakets might be their primary way to buy vegetables. Hence, the generalization drawn might not apply to peopl who lived in suburb for they did not only depend on supermarkets but they also had grocery and farm. In addition, even if consumers were dissatisfied with the vegetables, it is unlikely for to grow their own vegetables since planting vegetables costs a lot of time and vigor. Without ruling out these possibilities, the arguer cannot justifiably explain the survey results.
The arguer fails to rule out alternative explannations. Though the Great Gardens has sold out stand three months in a row, did this phenomenon  denote consumers have interested in growing theire own vegetables? Without analyzing and weighing the content and sals volume of the magazine, the argument cannot guarantee undoubtedly making a considerable profit. It might be the case that there had little content about vegetables in this magazine, consumers just need it to help beauty their gardens. It also might be the case that the circulation of this magazine was not so large that without many consumers' interested in could it be sold out for we are told nothing about the exactly amount of sales volume of this magazine.

Finally,even if one accepts the survey results, the argument remains questionable. The argument assumes that the correlation between expanding the variety of vegetable seeds and profit means that we at Green Thumb Gardening Center can increase our profits by greatly expanding the variety of vegetables seeds we stock for gardeners this coming spring. But the argument fails to provide sufficient evidence to support the conclusion. Besides, profit is a factor of not only revenue,but also costs. It is entirely possible that the cost of so many kinds of seeds will offset, even outweigh the revenue. Furthermore, a myriad of other possible occurrence, such as unfavorable economic conditions, or unexpected economic recessions, might prevent our Green Thumb Gardening Center from being as profitable in the foreseeable future as the argument predicts. It's better to expand just some variety of seeds that surely existing market.


In conclusion, the argument, while it seems logocal at first, has several flaws as disscussed above. The argument could be improved by providing evidence that the correlation is indeed a causal relationship-- that buying more kinds of vegetables seeds can increase our profits. It could be further improved by ruling out alternative explanations for the supposed causal relationship.




感谢组长的改文
From my prespective, the argument contains several facets that are questionable.
First, the reliability and generalizability of the survey are open to qusetion.Moreover, the arguer fails to examine alternative interpretations . Also,
the argument assumes a correlation amounts to a causal relationship. I will discuss each of these facets in turn.

In evaluating the evidence of the survey, one must consider how the suvery was conducted. The argument assumes that the nationwide statistics about many consumers were not satisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarket applies equally to specific local situation. However, this might not be the case, for a variety of possible reasons. Perhaps the suvery was focused on people who lived in downtown of large cities, and the supermakets might be their primary way to buy vegetables. Hence, the generalization drawn might not apply to people who lived in suburb for they did not only depend on supermarkets but they also had some groceries and farms. In addition, even if consumers were dissatisfied with the vegetables, it is unlikely for to grow their own vegetables since planting vegetables costs a lot of time and energy. Without ruling out these possibilities, the arguer cannot justifiably explain the survey results.

The arguer fails to rule out alternative explannations. Though the Great Gardens has sold out stand three months in a row, did this phenomenon denote consumers have interested in growing theire own vegetables? Without analyzing and weighing the content and sals volume of the magazine, the argument cannot guarantee undoubtedly making a considerable profit.Selling more books can not guarantee that people like to grow vegetables.It might be the case that there had little content about vegetables in this magazine, consumers just need it to help beauty their gardens. It also might be the case that the circulation of this magazine was not so large that without many consumers' interested in could it be sold out for we are told nothing about the exactly amount of sales volume of this magazine.

Finally,even if one accepts the survey results, the argument remains questionable. The argument assumes that the correlation between expanding the variety of vegetable seeds and profit means that we at Green Thumb Gardening Center can increase our profits by greatly expanding the variety of vegetables seeds we stock for gardeners this coming spring. But the argument fails to provide sufficient evidence to support the conclusion. Besides, profit is a factor of not only revenue,but
also costs. It is entirely possible that the cost of so many kinds of seeds will offset, even outweigh the revenue. Furthermore, a myriad of other possible occurrence, such as unfavorable economic conditions, or unexpected economic recessions, might prevent our Green Thumb Gardening Center from being as profitable in the foreseeable future as the argument predicts. It's better to expand just some variety of seeds that surely existing market.


In conclusion, the argument, while it seems logocal
at first, has several flaws as disscussed above. The argument could be improved by providing evidence that the correlation is indeed a causal relationship-- that buying more kinds of vegetables seeds can increase our profits. It could be further improved by ruling out alternative explanations for the supposed causal relationship.

finalleUID: 2812504

改01 小谦组长的 每天发帖你也很辛苦吧 大家一起加油

In this argument, the author provides some evidence to support the opinion that consumers have increasing interests to growing vegetables, which include a survey which【两个which重复，可用that】 proves people’s negative attitude【好像还不是很准确，消极态度是不喜欢吃还是对质量的不满意还是怎么样？或许换别的表达更好点】 towards fresh vegetables in supermarket and a phenomenon that a gardening magazine has sold out at a stand. Then the author reckons that Green Thumb Gardening Center (GTGC) could increase their profits by expanding the vegetable seeds【还是写清楚是扩大种子的种类比较好】. This argument is well-presented, but it suffers from several logical flaws.

First of all, it is open to doubt the two evidences provided by the author can substantiate the growing interests for planting vegetables.

One is the national survey of people's attitude towards supermarket vegetables. The national survey may【应用过去时might后面也是就不再指出来】 not verifiable in the suburban town where GTGC locate in. Since the national survey may include people from both urban and suburban, the result would not be accord to【accord是动词，你要写的是according？】 the situation in the suburban town. Suburban may close to the production factory of fresh vegetables which ensures their accessibility towards high quality of fresh vegetables. People's negative attitude towards fresh vegetable may be widely spread in urban, but not in suburban. Hence, the survey provides little support to people's dissatisfied attitudes in the suburban town.

The other evidence is that a gardening magazine has high issue【查了下issue虽然名次有发行物的意思，但是应该用销量更好？我自己写的好像是sales volume好像也有问题 惆怅了】. The author does not compare the issue of the magazine with previous days. If three months ago, the selling of the Great Garden was as well as【查了好久，这个应该没有和什么一样的意思吧，如果有小谦来纠正我】 these months, the author's statement of people's growing interests in the magazine is untenable. Even assuming that people is showing increasing interests in the magazine, it can prove that people are becoming more and more interested in growing their own vegetables【这句有哪里少not没？】. The author fails to give us information about the magazine Great Gardens. Great Gardens may mainly talk about horticulture of followers which function as decorations other than planting vegetables to eat. Therefore, high amount of selling out Great Gardens lends little support to people's increasing interests in growing their own vegetables.

Secondly, even people have growing interests in planting vegetable, the GTGC may not increase their profits as the author suggests. The author suggests increasing the variety of vegetable seeds on no conditions. As different vegetables grow in different seasons, it is not wise to stock large amount of seeds which germinated in seasons other than spring. Also, same【some】 vegetables may not be able to grow in this town because of geographic differences. Thus, it is not wise to give an absolute advise as the author does.

In conclusion, the author's suggestion for increasing the stock of vegetable seeds is doubtful. To substantiate his/her suggestion, the details of the national survey, the up growing selling of Green Gardens and the content of this magazine needs to be provided. The author need reconsider the range of vegetable seeds when he/she reaches conclusion【进行时比较好？】.


我能看出来的问题就这么多吧，希望你能把错误单词减少 时态问题也不要忽视 应该把句子写的更有说服力一点 我和你的攻击点也差不多
没有什么太多模板痕迹 我要向你学习啦