AW版版主改作文——贴文修改帖

蒲若苇UID: 2669670

    对于我们即将组织进行的AW版小组作文评比活动，希望各小组踊跃参加。
    这既是寻找自身不足也是学习他人亮点的好机会！

已报名者可将自己的文章的链接回帖于此处。

报名帖：https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=1139387&page=1&extra=

AW的提高需要我们共同的努力！加油，同志们！

蒲若苇UID: 2669670

占楼

ShinichichiUID: 2877774

顶~~

szmanutdUID: 2727152

~

tequilawineUID: 2702008

定

wdx19861106UID: 2821198

赞一个~~~

jessie_1017UID: 2704525

请问是在这里报名么？

tracywlzUID: 2522388

请问是在这里报名么？
jessie_1017 发表于 2010-8-13 11:17

是。
请注意看要求~

qiongpingUID: 2766031

我要报名~

edisonshenUID: 2345765

我要报名

edisonshenUID: 2345765

直接贴我的文章是吧？链接https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1138561-1-1.html
谢谢了啊

睡到自然醒UID: 2814923

占

蒲若苇UID: 2669670

帖一篇我改的，如有异议，请指正~~

来自tracyrongyi:

TOPIC: ISSUE28 - "Students should memorize facts only after they have studied the ideas, trends, and concepts that help explain those facts. Students who have learned only facts have learned very little."

提纲
1students 低年级 高年级
2facts 简单的 复杂的
3低年级 简单的 高年级 复杂的
4不同的students 对待不同的facts 从而最有利于学习


The statement above conceals intesting(?) connotations far above the value of learning. Issues of students understanding capacity including intelligence, maturity and facts of different contents and(用or吧，否则两个and 层次不清) levels are at stake, not a simply（simple） debate over explaining first, memorization(与前统一的话用memorizing) second or vise versa(?).

不过说实话，第一段的最后一句我没大读懂，不要一味为了拼长句而使要表达的意思模糊，作为首段，最重要的就是点明自己的观点，不需要一定要用一个长句表达出来，适得其反。

Students at different ages have different needs and requirements, which is（are） relative to their physical and psychological development. Private school education gives more weight to memorization, in order to inculcate to small(little, small一般指形状) children some basic conceptions which serve as the foundation for deducing further theories and models. For instance, everyone started his or her mathematics(没有这种说法，直接用 the mathematics) from Pythagorean theorem, multiplication-table, which are delivered from teachers without detailed explanation. It is not the teachers fault to hide its comings and goings, just because it's beyond the capacity of children at a tender age. Therefore, it is natural and correct policy for small(little) children to start everything from scratch by memorization.

However, it’s another issue when the characters change. When learning by rotting(?) is applied to high school students or above(older ones), it would be detrimental to both students themselves and the relevant educational institutions. As we know, adolescents are relatively mature, compared with kids, mentally and psychologically. They have already mastered rudimentary knowledge and call for a broader vision , say, to think independently and critically. At this time, acts kept in their mind are deducted, analyzed and well-reasoned, and it(指什么？) would greatly benefit his or her learning. That's the reason why most professors and high school teachers tend to emphasize on how a theory evolves instead of what it starts as or ends up with, which is a cultivation of learning method(典型的中式翻译，且此非限定从修饰不明). What's more, for high school students, they should arm themselves with such ability to be well-prepared for a higher academic life. For undergraduates, they should equip themselves with a method of learning(?) to prepare for the competitive job market.

When discussing this topic, we cannot neglect the variety of facts. Some are common and elementary as Pythagorean Theorem and Multiplication Table as I mentioned above, others are sophisticated and mind-bending like how an operating system works or how an algorithm is applied to in practice. Also, different instruction and learning methods cater to different levels. The simple ones function as rungs, which are trivial but indispensible to form a ladder. (这句比喻不错)Many small facts have been used to develop ideas, trends and concepts. Each mathematical theory is based on "one plus one equals two", which is simple but remained to be one of the biggest challenges in the world. Such "rungs" should be remembered and then one has an opportunity to get an access to the "ladder". Some facts seem to be complex and gigantic, but they can be fully understood if proper analog and explanations have been applied to. It is especially true when students major in computer science learn(用study或是research，learn是结果动词) operating system. They should keep in mind first the facts of process, thread, kernel and then the configuration of PC and finally comes to the operation part.

Once a thorough analysis of students and facts have made, it is easier and objective to draw conclusions. For younger students, it is essentially important to keep in mind some basic and simple facts without asking why. Whereas for teenagers, who are more ambitious to learn and who bear some social and peer pressures, it is a necessary skill to learn how to learn, how to analyze, how to explain some given facts. With a proper distribution(?) and sound learning method, education would be more beneficial to both students and the society as a whole.（这段总结的不错）


1.只帮你把第一二段的用词和语法错误标了下，后面的稍微改了下~~其余的你自己注意一下吧，整体感觉还是比较中式表达，很多句子我作为中国人也不定理解你所说的呵~~一些用词像是汉译英出来的，建议即使不知道某词的英文说法(apply用法查下吧~)，用汉译英查后也要看看用法和例句不要直接套用~~有空多读读英文原版的文摘吧~~
2.从逻辑思路上看，中文提纲列的挺清楚，想法不错~~最后一段也总结的不错，但中间的论述条理感觉不是太清楚，有的句子我真的没大读懂~~用数学问题做例子不错，但这是平时，考试时真的能拼出来这些专有名词吗？建议看一些高分文章学习下其的行文思路~~

加油~~^_^

PS:以上仅是我个人看法，如有异议或是错误，自己改正就好~~                                               若若^_^

qiongpingUID: 2766031

这是限时习作，已经改过一次，谢谢:)https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1138898-1-1.html