被删掉的作文本。。。

顺水飘扬UID: 2715101

08.08.08NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
All university students should take basic science courses, regardless of their field of concentration.

Nowadays, some students think that if they want having a field of concentration, they must take basic science at beginning. However, some people, like me, prefer choosing that we（改成 There is） no need to take basic science, because we have already learn the same knowledge in high school, and I have several reasons to support my viewpoint.

First of all, why we will choose that we no need to take(unnecessary) basic science courses? I think that the high school’s knowledge which we can use in basic courses(这不是个完整的句子啊). An instance of accompanies this reason is that a recent investigation conducted by Chinese Academy of Social Science demonstrates that in Chinese university, if professors want to investigate a material, they will invite bachelors. Because Chinese basic education is famous for all over the world and bachelors graduate the high school just few years, they still remember a large part of high school’s knowledge, this is the reason why bachelors no need （need not）to learn again basic science courses. Consequently, we can know that high school's knowledge equally basic courses（此从句没有动词，可把equally改成be equal to）. We no(don’t) need to use any time to learn it again.

The first example is only an illustration that there is a deeper theory underlying this problem, which is(此处应该有个介词) today, university students have not enough time to take basic science courses, such as they should find interns, take park in organizations, and study other subjects. For example, I have a friend, Alex, he is a sophomore, and he is a volunteer in Guangzhou 2010 Asian Olympic game. So he must spend many times on doing charities. Although the professor asks him that he should write an essay about his main subject, history, he no needs to decrease his charities. Because he can use his high school's knowledge writing. As a result, if we use high school knowledge to account the basic courses in university, we not only easy to investigate the deeper theory, but also save time.（此句没有动词额）

Of course, taking basic science courses sometimes have also some（和sometimes看着有点重复，可换成sevesal） advantages, such as we can sure that we will have not any basic mistake, because we repeat it again. However, spending more time on repeating our proficiencies knowledge, I think it is unnecessary. Because we can use this time to have(gain) other experience is more useful.（这句两个动词can 和is,可把这句拆成两句）

In conclusion, some people still support that if they want to have a deeper theory, they must take the basic course. Although this opinion really has some advantages, a close inspection of this argument would reveal how fallacious it is; because I trust my solutions are better than them.

观点是不用学basic science，因为在high school 的时候已经学过了，但说理不是很充分。
我认为观点是 不用学basic science, 然后“因为在high school 的时候已经学过了”这一点应该是个分论点，还应该有其他的分论点去支撑你的观点，才更有说服力。语法最好再加强一点。加油~

S酱UID: 2883188

19# chenyyalex

改好鸟~~~

wttyuseUID: 2755832

10-2修改

cecyleyueyueUID: 2753319

10 2大组修改.doc (30 KB, 下载次数: 4)

2010-10-4 13:49:57 上传

下载次数: 4

楼主加油~~~

makeithappenUID: 2585223

10 2daily writing.doc (33 KB, 下载次数: 3)

2010-10-4 19:41:38 上传

下载次数: 3

chxh2020UID: 2587109

27# chenyyalex
10-4独立修改。

taylor.1023UID: 2713071

改好了，请看附件噢。