【第三次作业】【10.2】issue 11

tingsnowyUID: 2739192

11. "All nations should help support the development of a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world's most persistent social problems."


There are a number of problem-solving theories, one of which engages in developing relevant organizations so as to unite different nations' endeavor as much as possible. In the field of international relationship, we established the United Nations(UN), while as for economy and international trade, nations are closely linked by World Trade Organization(WTO), not to mention how the Red Cross runs when it comes to humanitarian work. Therefore, another educational attempt at a global university designed to engage students from all nations and hence to solve the world's most persistent problems seems plausible at the first glance. Nevertheless, a host of underlying problems or lack of feasibility make this attempt nothing but an illusion.

What are the world's most persistent social problems? Poverty, wars, diseases, or certain far broader issues known as economy, environment and politics indeed. Admittedly, any effort to negotiate, to alleviate, and even to eradicate (if possible) these issues calls for cooperation among all nations. In this regard, a graduate from such a global university might possess an overall viewpoint of world issues, combined with his/her master in intellect as well as prominent professional quality. However, it is exactly due to the globalism of those people that carries many problems.

In the first place, problems come as soon as the establishing process of a global university. Not only a suitable location, but an appropriate investment allocation is difficult - if not possible - to decide. Common sense tells people that surroundings largely affect the school climate. Furthermore, the investment allocation would either make the poor countries feel unfair if it asks an equal division, or make developed nations take over the authority if the investment distribution is based on different levels of economic strength of all nations. As a result, some inescapable blocks mentioned or not will neutralize the feasibility of a global university as a whole.

Secondly, although the most existing problems remain general, identical countries differ in emphases, since there are more than 220 countries and regions around the world and without any exception, all nations are inclined to put first their national interests over the good of a whole. For example, students from certain regions of Africa would focus on annihilating poverty, for their families might be suffering destitution, while those from a wealthy society might think otherwise. Also, the Middle Easterners and other students whose countries seldom confront wars could be very contradictory in terms of war and peace.

Besides, since we already have well-established organizations in diverse fields, like the UN, the WTO and the Red Cross discussed above, to rely on graduates from a global university, for most of them would leave school as no more than inexperienced, ignorant and arrogant, is undesirable in my observation. More importantly, it is the specialists in those mentioned organizations who are elite by trade, and who have the real experience, learning, and common sharing to devote themselves to solving the most persistent global issues.

In conclusion, given the feasibility of a global university, as well as the successive problems coming along, we risk more detriments than the potential merits when establishing such a university. Instead, it may be better off if all nations are engaging in actions towards improve running of organizations like the UN, to correct their flaws and to focus on personnel training. With such actions done, the solving of world's most persistent social problems achieves.

刘文奇UID: 2850560

There are a number of problem-solving theories, one of which engages in developing relevant organizations so as to unite different nations' endeavor as much as possible. In the field of international relationship, we established the United Nations(UN), while as for economy and international trade, nations are closely linked by World Trade Organization(WTO), not to mention how the Red Cross runs when it comes to humanitarian work. Therefore, another educational attempt at（这个词不好，可以用“to develop”） a global university designed to cultivate world citizens(这个在题目中未提及，最好删掉) and hence to solve the world's most persistent problems seems plausible at the first glance. Nevertheless, lack of feasibility makes this attempt nothing but an illusion.（引入语虽然写得好，但是过多，反而自己的观点表述得很少）。

What are the world's most persistent social problems? Poverty, wars, diseases, or certain far broader issues known as economy, environment and politics indeed（这句话好像还没说完吧）. To negotiate, to alleviate, and to eradicate (if possible) these issues call for a well-involved（这个词是你生造的吧？貌似查不到这个词） cooperation between（改为among） states（改为nations，二者意义不同。）. In this regard, these problems might be soundly addressed by a global university in that a graduate from such university could have an overall viewpoint of all nations of the world（多余的）, combined with his/her master in intellect, languages, and communication（这句话虽然意思能懂，但是有些累赘，可以拆成两句话）. However, it is exactly a sense of globality that carries no feasibility.（意思不明白，首先，feasibility 的动词应该用carry out，其次，carry out d的主语是globality??）

In the first place, problems come as soon as the establishing process of a global university. Not only a suitable locale（这个表示事件发生的地点，用到这里不妥。）, but an appropriate investment allocation is difficult - if not possible - to decide. A（去掉） common sense tells people that the（去掉） surroundings largely affect the school climate. Furthermore, the investment allocation would either make the poor countries feel unfair if it asks an equal division, or make the(删除) developed nations take over the school authority if the investment distribution is based on nations' economic power. As a result, nothing but more and more inescapable blocks will neutralize the potential benefits of a global university as a whole.（论据不足，导致最后more and more inescapable blocks 的出现显得底气不足）

Secondly, although the most existing problems remain general, different coutries differ in emphasis, since there are  220 countries and regions at least around the world and without any exception, all nations are inclined to put first （放在本句最后较好）their national interests over the good of a whole. For example, students from certain regions of Africa would focus on aid-the-poor（program） for their families might be suffering destitute（貌似是个形容词，这句话也有点问题）, while those from a wealthy society might think otherwise. Also, the Middle Easterners and other students whose countries seldom confront wars could be very contradictory in terms of war and peace.

Besides(为了和前面保持一致，最好用thirdly), since we already have some well-established organizations in diverse fields, like the UN, WTO and the Red Cross discussed above, to rely on graduates from a global university, for most of them would leave school as no more than inexperienced, ignorant and arrogant, is undesirable in my observation. More importantly, it is the specialists in those mentioned organizations who are elite by trade, and who have the real experience, learning, and common sharing to devote themselves to solving the most persistent global issues.

In conclusion, in consideration for（of） the feasibility of a global university, as well as the successive problems coming along, we risk more detriments than  potential merits on the attempt of (building)such a university. Instead, it is better off if all nations are engaging in actions towards improve the running of organizations already existed, correcting their flaws and focusing on personnel training. With such actions done, the solving of world's most persistent social problems achieves.
总结：本文结构很清晰，但是语言有很大的问题，①常常有冠词的错用②用词很偏，且容易出错③句式有时会用错。建议写完之后，要重点检查你用的词是否正确，句子有没有错误。还有就是加强论证的逻辑性。
最后，还有一个问题很好奇：你到底是男生还是女生？

tingsnowyUID: 2739192

There are a number of problem-solving theories, one of which engages in developing relevant organizations so as to unite different nations' endeavor as much as possible. In the field of international relationship, we established the United Nations(UN), while as for economy and international trade, nations are closely linked by World Trade Organization(WTO), not to mention how the Red Cross runs when it comes to humanitarian work. Therefore, another educational attempt at a global university designed to engage students from all nations and hence to solve the world's most persistent problems seems plausible at the first glance. Nevertheless, a host of underlying problems or lack of feasibility make this attempt nothing but an illusion.

What are the world's most persistent social problems? Poverty, wars, diseases, or certain far broader issues known as economy, environment and politics indeed. Admittedly, any effort to negotiate, to alleviate, and even to eradicate (if possible) these issues calls for cooperation among all nations. In this regard, a graduate from such a global university might possess an overall viewpoint of world issues, combined with his/her master in intellect as well as prominent professional quality. However, it is exactly due to the globalism of those people that carries many problems.

In the first place, problems come as soon as the establishing process of a global university. Not only a suitable location, but an appropriate investment allocation is difficult - if not possible - to decide. Common sense tells people that surroundings largely affect the school climate. Furthermore, the investment allocation would either make the poor countries feel unfair if it asks an equal division, or make developed nations take over the authority if the investment distribution is based on different levels of economic strength of all nations. As a result, some inescapable blocks mentioned or not will neutralize the feasibility of a global university as a whole.

Secondly, although the most existing problems remain general, identical countries differ in emphases, since there are more than 220 countries and regions around the world and without any exception, all nations are inclined to put first their national interests over the good of a whole. For example, students from certain regions of Africa would focus on annihilating poverty, for their families might be suffering destitution, while those from a wealthy society might think otherwise. Also, the Middle Easterners and other students whose countries seldom confront wars could be very contradictory in terms of war and peace.

Besides, since we already have well-established organizations in diverse fields, like the UN, the WTO and the Red Cross discussed above, to rely on graduates from a global university, for most of them would leave school as no more than inexperienced, ignorant and arrogant, is undesirable in my observation. More importantly, it is the specialists in those mentioned organizations who are elite by trade, and who have the real experience, learning, and common sharing to devote themselves to solving the most persistent global issues.

In conclusion, given the feasibility of a global university, as well as the successive problems coming along, we risk more detriments than the potential merits when establishing such a university. Instead, it may be better off if all nations are engaging in actions towards improve running of organizations like the UN, to correct their flaws and to focus on personnel training. With such actions done, the solving of world's most persistent social problems achieves.

dreamerdanceUID: 2759402

..