Issue51 修改幕夜凉

nofeelings811UID: 2388638

Issue 51

"Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."

  I agree with a fraction of speaker's assertion that education will be effective sometimes when it is designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each students.However,the speaker unnecessarily extends the assertion to embrace（是不是可以不要embrace） specifically designing,while overlooking the reality of educational resource and blind-sides of making a plan for individual.My point of contention with the speaker involves the need of specifically designing,as discussed below.
  （部分同意作者的观点）
  I concede that the speaker is on the correct objective side of the issue. After all,interest ,which  motivates people comprehending more and giving deeply consideration,is the best teacher.Study needs enthusiasm and an flinching will （这个词好像用错了 http://www.thefreedictionary.com/flinch）to persist ,which come up with interest. （研究需要热情）What's more,interest,leading to focusing attention in no consciousness, is also an excellent method of memorizing.The more interested you are  ,the more knowledgeable you will be in some specific areas. A man ,who has interest in one filed,always can not hold the passion in check,think constantly during his day-to-day work,and is excited for what he has achieved. Success is likely around him.On the contrary,without interest,knowledge will not be effectively absorbed for the senses of vapid and boring that people feels.Thereby,it is indispensable for us to foster individual needs and interests of each other in some degree.
（同意作者观点因为研究需要热情）
  Yet,specifically designing for individual is neither available nor sound especially in present China.Facing the disequilibrium between the development of industry and agriculture,the educational resource in village is barely sufficient ,comparing it is in cities.That is to say,（光这样列举数据是不是不可信）the current inventory of teachers is less than one tenth of the student numbers（是不是加上in china）,and the educational facilities and school room are not abundant even (下面有更别提了，even是不是不需要了)in large cities ,not mention to the remote and needy rural areas.If carrying out the fallacious policy by force, teachers will run out of their energy.As a result of it,the quality of education goes done, coupled with the raising tuitions and the increasing numbers of dropping out of schools for family economic reasons.
（特殊设计是不可行的，因为资源不够）
  Even if assuming that the specifically designing for individual is available,there are a plenty of defeats in this policy.As we all know ,acquainting some skills and technology,establishing the right ideological and moral ideas and strengthening physique is the main purposes of education.Despite natural status that we have different interests in different fields,we have approximative idea of ideological and (,)moral level and similar health condition.（我们有相似的思想，道德水平和身体状况）It will be a waste of resource to design concrete plans for individual.In addition,specific projects under some especial conditions and reasons,may slip the ideological and physical construction.（应该说明一下为什么特殊的计划忽略的思想和身体的培养吧）Only the（应该说明一下是个人的只是的进步吧） development of lore do not means the success of personal education.A man ,full of knowledge without any virtue,is a black sheep in the society and a case of crabs
for（也许是of吧） education.  Nor is specifically designing the only means of educating effective.For example,school can combine basic curriculum with optional courses,which can provide comprehensive and systematic knowledge and theory hierarchy as long as sound mental and physical status.

（特殊设计是不行的，因为这样的教育方法有问题）
  In sum,the speaker has exaggerates the predominance of specific design for meeting the individual needs and interests of each student.Although specific design can greatly accelerate interests ,which has always played a key role in education,at least up until now, it is not a must meaning to found in education.（作者夸大了特殊设计的作用）
很高兴欣赏了你的作文，这是我对你的批改，以后我会在写作和批改上都有所进步的。
这个Issue和Argument的结构是一样的，我就先陈述一下这个事实吧，关于整体的思路和逻辑结构的东西，我再看看书，自己以后会注意，也会给别人评价。