issue48 <彼岸小组第三次作业> by mcneil

McNeilUID: 2272415

TOPIC: ISSUE48 -"The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The mostsignificant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famousfew, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."


Who act the most significant role in themost famous and important events and trends in history, the key individuals orthe groups of nameless people? I reckon that these events or trends could notbe achieved by only several persons whereas the crucial decisions are oftenmade by the few. And after deeply analysis of the cause and the development ofthese events and trends, you may find out that the influence of these few keyindividuals.

To begin with, the reason why our societyis totally different from hundreds of years ago is the rapid development of thetechnology and science. The useful inventions are always created by a number oftalented researchers not a group of forgettable people. The ones who have richknowledge and outstanding capacity in a specialized realm may put forward somenew and innovative theories to explain the phenomenon of the complex universeor create some devices or something that make our life convenient and advanceto a modern society gradually. Maybe the scientists are deeply influenced by theirparents and teachers, or receive the help and inspiration from their friendsand research group; however it is unquestionable that the scientists whoproduced the inventions act the decisive role.

In a war, without the courage of thesoldiers and the advanced equipments, the eventual outcome may be entirelydifferent. Nonetheless, considering who makes the decision of starting the war,who leads these people to confront the enemy, who gives the main instructionsand orders, it is easily to find out that not the large number of soldiers butthe several leaders decide the destiny of a war and even the later trends inhistory. Whether a side can attain the final success is often dependent on theinstructions and attitude of the leader. If the leader made a sensible decisionand kept an optimistic attitude, furthermore, showed a strong desire of thevictory, the side he led may probably defeat the other side, otherwise may not.Therefore, placing more emphasis on the leaders and heroes in the wars in historyrather than the ordinary people is quite reasonable.

In the political reforms and drastic socialchanges, lots of people may believe that it is the strength of the public andnot the several individuals' contribution. Admittedly, the desire and expectationsof a majority of people advanced these significant events, whereas how and whyso many people rallied to form a group to change the society? I suspect that itlikely results from the impact of the key individuals. They use their thoughtsand visions of future to inspire the public, and motivate them to participatein the events. The public believe in the theory of the key individuals, andeven regard them as idols.

To sum up, the public has a considerablepower and provide a strong support to the most significant events and trends inthe history. Nevertheless, in most cases, it is the key individuals who inspireand incite the groups of people to accomplish a great task. Studying thehistory is ought to place more emphasize on these individuals and learn theirspirit and impact on the most significant events and trends in history.

求狠拍，谢谢合作

奥古拉斯UID: 2673934

2# hanhongwei90
请问，你们这组可不可以把我加进去，我1月份考试。
谢谢啊

fish_snowUID: 2822442

ISSUE48 -"The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."


Who act the most significant role in the most famous and important events and trends in history, the key individuals or the groups of nameless people? I reckon that these events or trends could not be achieved by only several persons whereas (建议加个强调句 it is )the crucial decisions (that) are often made by the few. And after deeply analysis of the cause and the development of these events and trends, you may find out that the influence of these few key individuals.

To begin with, the reason why our society is totally different from(what it was ) hundreds of years ago is the rapid development of the technology and science. The useful inventions are always created by a number of (a few) talented researchers not a group of forgettable people. The ones who have rich knowledge and outstanding capacity in a specialized realm may put forward some new and（建议删掉）
innovative
theories to explain the phenomenon of the complex universeor（？） create（动词原形？） some devices or something that make our life convenient and advance to a modern society gradually（这句太长了，建议换一下表达方式）. Maybe the scientists are deeply influenced by their parents and teachers, or receive the help and inspiration（动宾搭配有些问题） from their friends and research group（这句话在论证过程中起到什么作用么？跟论证有关么？）; however， it is unquestionable that the （建议改成we cannot deny that it is the）scientists who produced the inventions act the decisive role.

In a war, without the courage of the soldiers and the advanced equipments, the eventual outcome may be entirely different. Nonetheless, considering who makes the decision of starting the war, who leads these people to confront the enemy, who gives the main instructions and orders, it is easily(easy应该是形容词吧) to find out that （it is）not the large number of soldiers but the several leaders(that) decide the destiny of a war and even the later trends in history. Whether a side can attain the final success is often dependent on the instructions and attitude of the leader. If the leader made a sensible decision and kept an optimistic attitude, furthermore, showed a strong desire of the victory, the side he led may probably defeat the other side, otherwise may not. Therefore, placing more emphasis on the leaders and heroes in the wars in history rather than the ordinary people is quite reasonable.（个人认为 在这段2号同学都提到了集体和个人的作用，但是在论证个人的作用比forgettable masses作用大的时候并没有太多说服力，建议可以采用正版对比“将军的决策不明智”来论证famous few的作用）

In the political reforms and drastic social changes, lots of people may believe that it is the strength of the public and not the several individuals' contribution. Admittedly, the desire and expectations of a majority of people advanced（用过去时么？） these significant events, whereas how and why so many people rallied to form a group to change the society? I suspect that it likely results from the impact of the key individuals. They use their thoughts and visions of future to inspire the public, and motivate them to participate in the events. （they指代谁？上下句连接太突兀了）The public believe in the theory of the key individuals, and even regard them as idols.（这两句逻辑很混乱）

To sum up, the public has a considerable power and provides a strong support to the most significant events and trends in the history. Nevertheless, in most cases, it is the key individuals who inspire and incite the groups of people to accomplish a great task. Studying the(不必要用特指吧？) history is（加不加这个is我不太确定，请教一下） ought to place more emphasize on these individuals and learn their spirit and impact on the most significant events and trends in history.
个人认为本文论证不够到位，有一些与逻辑无关和重复的地方，并且在对历史的研究上只字未提，建议2号同学再做修改；语言上建议作者尝试使用一下强调句。红字部分均为个人意见，有错误的地方欢迎跟我交流讨论，客气的话不说了，实现共同进步是最终目的，加油O(∩_∩)O~