T^T新手作文求改 AW 4-7~~

rainie_lanUID: 3043326

(高频1)
48. "The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."
prominent

The speaker asserts that history, filled with major events and milestones, was written by
unamed general people rather than few famed and distinguished elites. Nevertheless, I concede that both individuals and common people plays a vital role in history.
When it comes to Civil Rights Movement, the first name came to us is Martin Luther King, instrumental in enabling not only America, but also the whole world to rectify those unspeakable flaws of civil rights. The significant events, which took place in and around his life, made him to become the most famous civil rights leader. On December 10,1964, dr. King received the Nobel Peace Prize in Oslo, Norway. Indeed, experience informs us of the fact that it is few eminent individuals makes history splendid and miraclous . But consider, what if the few individuals don’t get general people’s support? Will they bring dreams into reality on their own strength. The answer is obvious –innumerable Copernicus has already demonstrate it.We cannot neglect that, just as Dr. King can never reach success without hundreds of thousands of people give strong backing to him, it is extremely tough for few individuals to change the history only by their own strength.

One Those who is representative for the characristisc of that era, are veritable mirrors reflecting the need and eagerness of public, and thus provide a sally port for history research. For exmaple, Meng Jiang, a desperated woman whose husband was exausted for building the Great wall day and night and finally died, was said to cry for her dead husband and of whom, the tears crashed the Great wall. Meng, although a part of the story of Qin dynasty, is a typical case for all the public people struggling in an abyss of suffering due to Qin emperor’s tyranny and dictatorship at that time. In this case, individuals serves themselves exactly as a sally port in history research, making it rational and reasonable for the emphasis on themselves.

What’s more, the few individuals engraved on people’s mind, are more likely to have specific aptitude and skills, for instance, the ability of predominant influence,precise planning and foresight l, as well as eadership, influence are included. As a consequence, this individuals often make great contributions to history and thus set up a role model for later generations to admire and imitate.

However, under some circumstances, the public, or the common people should also arounse people’s attention. The people and only the groups of people can help the few individuals accomplish their achievement. Without the citizens fighting ,yelling, supporting behind Martin Luther King, the creed that everyone is created equal may just be a castle in the air;Without the people fighting for the War of Resistance Against Japan, Chairman Mao can not lead China to success;Without thousands of workers working day and night, the pyramid could never ever come into existence.

Above all, if we merely emphasize the importance of people, the history can be really tough to remember and write. Equally, if we only pay attention to few individuals and ADVOCATE heroism
blindly, the public’s vital role in history may be forgotten day by day. So, only when we human strike a balance between the effort made by few individuals and groups of people, are we capable of discovering history, understanding history, and thus creating new history.

s200485073UID: 3028830

整体来讲，混乱的很，不过刚开始写是这样的
楼主的思路是：强调individual的重要性-----强调public or group of people----再到individual---在 group
看着有点乱，

题目讲的是，历史研究过分的将重点放在了一些famed individual身上，我觉得应该分三点写（这个也是网上常用的方法），1，individual很重要，2，group也很重要 3，为什么要注重individual  famed individual is leader 而 group 是participator 历史过于纷繁复杂，研究个人更有代表性，to understand the real cause of the historical event
这样看着好一些

你的完全可以整理成这样子，5段，看着舒服一些

呵呵，个人见解，我还没考，每天逛，瞎说了