12.22独立作文

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大家尽管拍砖~

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帮着顶一个~

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1222独立修改好，写的挺好的。

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As far as I am concerned, I do not agree with the statement that a serious teacher is more effective than a humorous one actually.Whether a teacher is effecitive or not is hard to judge  and criticize simply from his or her characteristics.It really depends on many aspects,just like,his or her attitude to the work and the students,his or her academic capability and the age of the students he or she teach..I believe the one who agree or disagree with the statement is arbitrary and overlooking too much.
      In some conditions,a serious and strict teacher  is more effective.Generally,if the teacher is serious and strict in life,he or she is holding the similar attitude to his or her career and students.In my opinion,if a teacher is serious （and ）->逗号 strict  and with high academic capability ,they are more suitable to teach some scientific subjects  in  a college .Because having this kind of teachers'  classes, the college school students who are major in science and technology  will learn how to think, how to learn,and even how to be a serious scientist from this kind of teacher ,especially in the academic region.So, I believe ,under this circumstance,there will be more and more preeminent scientists and engineers in future. Undoutedly,if a serious teacher is in this position,he or she will contribute much and be more effective.For example,my proffessor who tought me Magnetic and Electronic Field is a pretty  serious woman,she is serious in teaching （and she really done very well and she  have an impressive impact on me.简单句用and连接两次有点不漂亮，可以改一个为从句啊 或者用分词同位语啊 加强句法多样性）
    On the other hand（这个前一段是in some conditions 我觉得后面该 in other conditions 或者这里用on the other hand 前面就 on the one hand.感觉配套一下挺好的，关键很少见On the other hand单独用） ,a humorous and easygoing teacher is more effective under some circumstance.This kind of teachers are usually popular among students and even good friends to（of） some students.Apparantly,this kind of relationship between the teachers and students is admiring and perfect.But（前后两句都是说这老师不错啊怎么转折啊） I deem that a teacher like this will be a remarkable teacher if he or she is teaching  in a primary school.The teacher like this  is not need to be very high educated and serious to his or her work,if he or she is homorous and easygoing and can be friends with the students,he or she can be a good teacher.Since in primary school,a child mostly needs is the encourage（encouragement） and prise（praise） from the teacher and also a good characteristic.I believe a humorous and easygoing teacher  who can be a good friend and a guider to knowledge is more effective to primary school students.（观点很赞同，分情况分的很有道理）
Considering all the discussion above,I am concerned  it  is  hard  to say what kind of teacher is more effective.Similarly,it is  unilateral and arbitrary to say that a serious and a strict teacher is more effective than a teacher who is humorous and easygoing.
想问题层次很清晰！而且主题句也比较明确。
建议：关于句子读的时候发现你喜欢用this kind of 开头，主语一般都规规矩矩的放在开头，还有and用的好多，一般三者以上并列，只在最后写一个and。我改过一篇论坛里sudden2010她的文章，觉得句法很好，一起学习下吧~
关于用词，建议在复习时积累一些词语的换用。有个叫treasure的同义词字典。多看一些国外人写的东西，虽然论坛里每个人文章都有值得借鉴之处，但毕竟写出的有中国式英语味道。
最后
感谢你帮我改的作文，我确实很爱造词，哈哈真的很珍视你指出的这个问题。academic studying 是从academic performance 创造来的 不过后来在在英语版的google查了下academic studying也有About 27,300,000 results (0.06 seconds)
不过后面这些不是我造的哦
adolescents are notoriously rebellious. 是在Answers to all TOEFL essay(老托福185的全部范文)第二个题目Are parents the best teacher 中的范文用到的adolescents are notoriously rebellious in many cultures and may automatically reject any advice from their parents.
还有 take a leave to doubt 最经典的用法你可以参看新概念第四册第五课 people are always talking about the problem of youth. If there is one----which I take leave to doubt-----it is older people who create it.
Get grasp of 我忘记在那看到的了 于是找来字典释义：
your ability to understand a complicated idea, situation, or subject
= understanding grasp of
　 Her grasp of the issues was impressive.
a good/firm/thorough etc grasp of sth
　 Steve has a good grasp of the European legal system.
grasp on
　 After two months, his grasp on the subject was improving.

一起加油！