issue 16 2月17号考,第一篇,请帮忙看一下

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    写完之后自己修改过几遍,也看了别人的提纲了文章,但好像怎么没有人关于一开始的那个 harmless展开呢? 我看见的第一反应就是harmless.
    由于是第一篇,语句感觉一般,单词都用的最简单的,而且不知道这样写行否,所以请大家有空的话帮忙看下,万分感谢.给个评价,好让自己有改进的方向.

再次感谢



16 "Although many people think that the luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life are entirely harmless, in fact, they actually prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals."




Evolving with the development of technology and economy, the contemporary life has become more luxury and more convenient than before. As we create the luxuries and conveniences, they also affect us gradually. The speaker suggests that although the luxuries and conveniences of current life are entirely harmless, they actually prevent people from turning themselves into truly strong and independent individuals. But I disagree with this. The personal choice is the only thing that would determines how a man is, while others, such as the living environment, just play a little part in influence. And the harmless of modern life is also questionable.

Admittedly, the luxuries and conveniences do actually affect our lives. They make our lifes easier and more comfortable.
Such as, the automobile makes it easier to travel a long distance, the computer and Internet make work more efficient and communicate much easier, and so on. They all have been essential parts of our daily life. To this degree, they are actually helpful, at least, not harmful. But if we are over addicted to them, enjoying the easy life they bring us becomes the only thing we do. Then, the society and individuals would never make a progress, and they are no longer harmless at all.

Generally thought, adversity is more easily to make people develop into truly strong and independent individuals than prosperity. In adversity, people have no way but to rely on himself to go over it. In contrast, with the conveniences, there is no need to do things just rely on ourselves. We can drive a car, even a plane, instead of walking on foot. We can finish our jobs with the aid of computer and robot instead of doing the repeat work by ourselves. Hence, someone may think that conveniences make us become lazy and weak, no matter in physical or spirit. But there is something we should notice is that with the help of conveniences we can save much more time to do the things that are more significant and valuable. With time saved by car, we can do exercise in the gym which is better for our healthy than walking; with the vigor saved by computer for the simple and repeating work, we can do something more original and creative. What's more, with the help of current luxuries and conveniences, we can explore the new world and overcome the unknown problems. For our ancestors, there are no luxuries and conveniences of current life, so can we say they must by more strong and independent individuals? Hence, with the luxuries and conveniences, we can also develop ourselves into a strong and independent people.

However, with the luxuries and conveniences, there still exists the chance that one may not be strong and independent. With the same computer, although Bill Gates can developed the world wield Windows operation system which affects the whole world in almost every area, there are still thousands of youth lost themselves in the computer games. The luxuries and conveniences are the things that we peruse and the things that we develop to make use of. But they shouldn't be the things by which we are controlled. The effect of the luxuries and conveniences just depend on how our deal with them. And the reason that some people become weak and lazy is their own attitude toward life, not the luxuries and conveniences.

In sum, as the knife which is a tool for cutting also can be used to kill the nice man by criminal, the result depends on the knife user. If only we want to live a strong life and regard the luxuries and conveniences as a tool, they would help us to develop into strong and independent individuals.

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第一篇 大家有空的就帮忙拍一下吧