Daily Writing-sEven_zh

mengyl24UID: 2749175

我还不能上传 黄色背景没显示上 改成蓝色字体
With the development of the competitive market, in order to achieve a target more efficiently and accurately, today’s companies are prefer to form some in dependent(independent) groups to follow their own separated projects.(这句话怎么看不大懂啊 你想表达什么呢) Therefore, this working form(pattern) requires those groups with a systematic working phenomenon. As somebody suggested that those who cannot receive other’s criticism will never help their groups succeed when they are in cooperation. I can agree more with this view, and I have several reasons to explain why I support this view.
蓝色代表不要
First of all, those who never receive other’s critical comments are always those who are always confident with themselves blindly. Generally speaking, these people who keep thinking they are right and those opposite to him(their views) are wrong when his team is making a decision. When an opposite view has turned up, they will usually try to convince those who against and never heard about other’s ideas, even if his decision is wrong. Consequently, when the group follows his wrong idea, there is always a bad result is waiting for them. What’s more, a recent research shows that those project groups which have an assertive master are usually working in a low efficiency.（不大懂）

In teamwork, the cohesion is another determinant factor to achieve a good result. If a group has a member who always follow his own mind and never believe other colleagues. （if 后面没下文了？）If members in a group do not believe in each other, this group will be a group lack of cohesion. The history is filled with the examples that a team lacking of cohesion is finally go to a tragic ending, and so is company teamwork in contemporary, a disunity team will never make a good project, not only bring a lose to the selfish people himself, but also to the whole group.

perceptive558UID: 3009288

With the development of the free market, there are more and more advertisements(这个单词和题目里的是有区别的，一个是广告业，一个是广告，是有区别的。) have appeared in recent years. Making advertisements is prime way of some companies to make their products sold well, therefore, they are always trying to attract the consumers by making their advertisements seems worth above their price(读着有点别扭，但是不知道怎么修改好), especially in food products advertising. This phenomenon result to(in) a fever debate about whether advertising is the primary maker of unhealthy eating habits. In my opinion, the formation of bad eating habits can’t be attributed to advertising, and I have several reasons to support my view.

As known to all, habits formation is a long term process, no any advertisements can easily change one’s habit. Most of people have their own recipe during their infant period, which are(were) made by their parents to ensure they can grow up healthily. So, when they were(when they grew up) grow up, they are always have(动词连用了。。。) formed a stable eating habit. As the habits formed in childhood are just like the notch on the rock, from my perspective, an advertisement cannot change people’s eating habits. Unless, someone change his habitat by enjoying snacks as his daily meals, it’s almost impossible to change the eating habitats(拼写错误，这个是居住地). However, considering the fund limitation and general knowledge that eating snacks too frequently will lead a unhealthy body, most of people will not change their eating habits just because an advertisement.(观点比较好,注意时态)

Furthermore, as a reasoning result of wide diffusion of food advertisement, more and more people have their own experience of purchasing a food product they have saw on the advertisement, maybe some of them have met some deception. Certainly, they will share their deceived experience to others, thus, people got a guard consciousness when they are selecting food. What’s more, some community welfare may hold some speech about how to make a healthy recipe and keep away from bad eating habits. With so many sides’ defends, citizen will not follow the advertisements blindly. As a result, there are a little possibility for advertiser to bring some bad eating habits.

To say the least(last but not least), eating the(delete) food in advertisement doesn’t means that the people who ate it will get a bad eating habit. With the system of food testing is getting more and more mature, majority of foods in current food market are safe enough to eat and won’t lead to a bad eating habits. A recent research has shows that 70% products in the market are all passed from restrict tests and they are all having fulfilled the quality standard. Generally speaking, eating healthy food is not a kind of bad habits.

With the reasons I stated above, I can safely draw a conclusion that advertisement have nothing to do with the bad eating habits formation. We can keep away from the bad eating habit just by aware the importance of healthy diet.
整体挺好的，但是时态上要注意下，一起加油哈~~~

perceptive558UID: 3009288

我也不能上传，很郁闷

candis712UID: 2824089

3.8 独立修改

sEven_zhUID: 3007258

3.9独立

xyxueyuanUID: 2707343

Nowadays, most of people can receive the responsibility education in proper age. In school, they receive various [url=]of[/url]（删掉） knowledge such as language, mathematic, politics and so on. But some politics teachers are used to express their own social or political views to their students. When asking whether this kind of behavior is right, my answer is definitely not. And I have several reasons to support my view.

To begin with, if the teacher is fulfilling his education responsibility in an elementary school, in which majority of students still have abilities to distinguish right from fault, showing a personal view of political is somehow striping those students’ rights. Everybody [url=]has[/url] their own rights to choose a policy guideline they desire, but if [url=]he (与前面的everybody一致)[/url] was taught to aware a kind of policy view too early, he will unconsciously have a subjective sense later when they [url=]are grow[/url]ing  up and trying to know about the society and politics. In this case, they have already lost their rights to choose a preference political guideline by themselves.

When it comes to the education in high school, the measure that [url=]shows[/url]（定于从句，应改用谓语动词） teachers’ personal political proposal is unadoptable for another reason. Once the students [url=]are[/url] mature enough to enter the high school, they have enough experience to make sure that what kind of society or policy is they really like. If the teacher turns up [url=]his[/url] own political proposal in the class, by coincidence, if his proposal is against with those of some of his students, it may lead to an unnecessary debate. As there is no a [url=]clear[/url] boundary between right [url=]and[/url] wrong, when discussing the politics, the debate will be endless （更简洁）
Last but not the least, the main responsibility of teachers to students is to let them know how to make a correct choice, how to consider an object or a specific case and how to solve their own problem, but not, which is correct and what the object is, the subject is always around ‘how’ rather than ‘what’. There is a motto that’ teaching someone fishing is better than giving him a fish’, this how[url=] my[/url] view comes.

With the reasons I stated above, I can safely draw a conclusion that teachers shouldn’t [url=]talk[/url] their social or political views in the class, as they should give the opportunity to students and let them find it by themselves, and finding is always the best way to learn.



看到你写的，就发现自己写的太短了。加油加油~~~ 互相学习

sun3mayUID: 2574771

3.9独立改好了~

perceptive558UID: 3009288

52# sun3may 独立修改好了

perceptive558UID: 3009288

独立修改好了

wangrunningf1UID: 2488529

不好意思啊，最近几天工作太忙了，没顾上修改，明天之前把7号的修改补回来~~见谅~~

sEven_zhUID: 3007258

3.11独立

Go2011GoUID: 3006241

不好意思，生病所以晚了

sEven_zhUID: 3007258

3.14独立

sun3mayUID: 2574771

3.14独立~
改好了。

hcp4715UID: 2697633

58# sEven_zh
With the development of the economy-oriented market, we have moreand more choices when we want to purchase some daily goods or luxuries. Whenlooking for goods, we can may（？） the deal onthose things made our own country or even from other countries. Based on such afree trading phenomenon, there is a fever debate about whether we should buythose goods made in our own country even if the prices of those goods fromother countries are cheaper. As for me, we shouldn’t always buy goods from ourown country if they cost me more money, and I have several reasons to support my view.

Generally speaking, when a person is making a choice about whichgoods to buy, the factor s/he care most is usually the Performance-price ratio(感觉说性价比会更好，因为后面提到了价格与质量平衡的问题) of the goods. If a product’s price is high above its quality, itwill be the last thing I want to buy. For People earn their money with alltheir efforts, they should spent their money on those things have a goodperformance. Therefore, if merchandise have the same quality with the cheaper one(这句话不好理解啊,改成这样如何：if two same commodity have the identical quality but one is cheaper), I will definitelychoose the cheaper one even if the more expensive one is made by my owncountry, I don’t think using my money unreasonable is a correct way to make my countrydevelop better.

Furthermore, the development of our own countries is somewhatdepend on the investments of the companies from other countries, their pursuitis mutual benefit. If we always buy goods made in our own country despite theirprices, those foreign companies will lose their competiveness and then quitfrom our country’s market. As a result, our country’s economy will get hurt,and the activity that supporting products made in our own country will actuallymade the country’s finance condition worse.(这一段论点非常好，如果前后衔接更好一点，展开一点就更好了。比如这个分论点是投资，这个应该是金融领域；而后果讲的却是商业，是实体经济领域，虽然两者有联系，但商业的失败并不一定导致投资的减少。如果前面就说是实体经济上的互利的就更好，再举一个例子来支持就perfect了)

Last but not the least, buying domestic products all the time issomehow destroying the native industry. In more detail, if we always buy the naïve products, those native businessman will considertheir merchandises are always the best and never try to make a improvement,since they needn’t to figure out a way the attract more consumers. From myperspective, we should buy those things with the best quality but not just madeby our own country. Inthis way, those local companies will realize that theyshould make their products
better and appealmore consumers, and we can enjoy more goods with good quality( and then the industry aswhole will developed to a new stage and become more competitive).

With the reasons I stated above, we can safely draw a conclusionthat buying goods made in our own country will somehow hit(hurt会更合适一点吧) our country’s economy, thus, there is no wisdom likepaying attention on the quality（不懂） without thinking where it was made when you are estimating merchandise.

第三个论点很不错！学习了
要有加上具体的例子就更赞了！
改得有点细，并且都是个人的观点，欢迎楼主讨论