Daily Writing-sEven_zh

sEven_zhUID: 3007258

3.14独立修改~

sEven_zhUID: 3007258

3.15独立作业
感觉第二段有点没抓住重点，请狠批

sEven_zhUID: 3007258

3.16独立作业~

ChwyUID: 3027653

3.16独立修gia

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Improving schools is the most factors in successful development of country.

With the development of globalization, the comparing of national competiveness among the world has become more and more intense. Thus some people want to figure out that what factor can be the most efficient impetus of the development of the country, which lead to a fever这个有形容词性？ debate about whether improving schools is the essential factor of developing successfully of the country. In my opinion, the improvement of schools is the most important element attributed to the development of the country, and I have several reasons to support my view.

As known to all, the elementary education was一般时态就好 beginbegining in the kindergarten or primary school, in where our initial world outlook was form. The education we received there will have a great effect on the decisions we make when we are grew up个人感觉是when we grown up, and it may even change our whole life. Since the children are the bedrock直接说孩子是好像不太妥？ of the country’s development in the future, the government should ensure their initial education to teach them how to thinking in a right way. In this way, they will make a difference to the country when they grow up.

Furthermore, maybe there are some geniuses who are very smart even if they just received a little formal education, but education can let them use their intelligence in a right way. There is a famous story我不太清楚这个词，我所知道的意思是故事，如果是故事的话应该太有假设性了吧？ about a boy named Zhongyong, who is a genius and he could recognize a lot of words when he was very young. As so smart he was, his father thought that he could earn a lot of money without receiving any education, as a result, the special ability of Zhongyong was lost. What we can learn from this story is that, the lacking of education will lead to a waste of geniuses, if a country can realize it and try to educate those geniuses in the country不太明白，try to?为什么要试图去教育它们？现在没有再受教育吗？而且我觉得你这个人群是特指不具有广泛性, those people who have a outstanding brain…我觉得说who is outstanding就好 will make great contribution to their country.

Last but not the least, the education and the country development are always connecting with each other and they have a mutual effect. For more detail, the education is always fit with the development country and most of schools will teach students base on the state of the society. In the meantime, as schools transmit its students to the country and make it difference, the changing of the country will have aan effect on the education also. In short, education plays an important role in the development of the country.

With the reasons I stated above, we can safely draw a conclusion that improving school is required to make the country better, the citizen education is the last thing should be forgot.

观点都很清晰论证地很不错 就是有些小地方我不太懂
Any way 加油  我觉得你有点时态乱用

daisy8936UID: 2999019

帮你改了，我的作文贴在https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1242159&page=1&extra=谢谢！

sEven_zhUID: 3007258

3.17独立作业~

sEven_zhUID: 3007258

3.23独立作业，大家加油~

adj-remyUID: 2974851

已改，望回改

sEven_zhUID: 3007258

3.24独立作业

adj-remyUID: 2974851

已改，望回改

sEven_zhUID: 3007258

3.26独立作业

sun3mayUID: 2574771

3.26独立~
改好了~

伶女UID: 2797207

3.26 revised

sEven_zhUID: 3007258

3.28独立，写的机经，大家加油

ba80403UID: 3034877

3.28 独立 写作 修改
Is it easier to be a success in the past than it istoday?

Withthe rapid development of the society and economy, the difficulty of being successfulis more and more considered. (没看懂这句话的意思,是越来越多人关心成功困难与否的意思吗?)Some people say that is easier to be a success in the past, while other arguingthat today is much less difficult than before. In my opinion, it’s hard to tellwith (which) era can offer more opportunitiesfor people to be successful, it depends on which kind of succeeds (这是个动词) is considered, and I haveseveral reasons to support my viewpoint.

Ifthe money and one’s possessions are being concerned as the fundamental of beingsuccessful, certainly, past time is easier for people to be a success. In thattime, the old epoch,（有些累赘的表述） the law is not very specific and mighty like those (it) in contemporary society. Thus a lot of merchantswere always trying to use the bugs (口语的词，可以改成deficiencies) of law in order to make a great dealof profits. In most cases, their plans were always got a satisfied ends, andthey could earn pretty much money without the deliberate griping of thegovernment. What’s more, the industrial competition was not that fierce liketoday’s society. Therefore, whoever figured out a good idea about a new kindsof trade or forms of earning money, he could always found a promising way toachieve his plan and be success with a little tough. And the example is notrare in the society. In China, a famous web-based organization called Tencentwas found 15 years ago, when there is not any competitor as a founder of chatsoftware base on internet in China. As the time went by, this company hasdeveloped as the biggest internet organization in China, with the lack ofbusiness enemies. (这个例子很难说成是old time吧，可以举个更好的例子)

Onthe contrary, some people are likely to consider the personal spirits andeducated degree as the standard of being successful. When considering in thisway, we can say that is easier to be successful in today. First of all, since moderntechnology is much better than before, the education must be boosted to ahigher level. In other area, the gaining of information, people can contactwith a big amount of thoughts through TV, internet and so on. The mostimportant, history is a proper teacher which can affect human’s mind a lot.Combining all these contemporary elements together, there is no doubt that contemporarypeople’s spirits and educated degree is much than those lived in past era.

Withthe reasons I stated above, I can safely draw a conclusion that differentindividuals can have their own to be a success. Consequently, there is no aclear boundary to define which time can make us easier to be a success.
我觉得这类题型，有一个明确观点会好一些。语言不错，我能够清楚理解你想表达的意思。不过论点不够persuasive，而且比如第二段你说了好几个论点的感觉，那就可以分成两三段来说，这样子显得更清晰。