daily writing by qianhuang

qianhuangUID: 2766587

2月28日 独立

题目：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?It is often not a good thing to move to a new city or a new country because of the lose of old friends?
字数：351          用时：01:30:00          日期：2011-2-28 19:47:21

Today, many people move to new cities or new countries as a result of various reasons such as job demand, seeking for better living environment. Leaving old home lead to the lose of familar surroundings and a lot of friends. But I do not think that because of the lose of old friends, moving to a new place becomes a bad thing.

Most of people prefer to stay and live in an stable environment rather than move often. So when someone decides to move, it must be some reasons urge he/she to do so. Perhaps there are more job opportunities in the new city or country, or maybe most of his/her relatives are living in the new place and the place is more convient for people to live. Thus comparing with the lose of old friends, job, relatives and good living surrounding are more important for a person. For instance, nowadays there are a number of parents move to a new city or a new country for the reason that they hope their children can get the best education where some best school are located. Albeit they lose some close friends, better furture of their children means more to them.

Moreover, although people may lose old friends and feel lonely at the beginning, he/she can get in touch with new people in the new place and make new friends. So people can still have a lot of friends around. And I also believe that really good friends won't be alienated because of one's leaving. At the present day, people communicate with others by kinds of methods, like call a phone, send E-mail, send short message and so on. If olds friends are willing to keep touch with each other, their friendship won't be frozen off. So the friends people lose caused by moving are not their best friends. If a person move for a new job, the lose of these old friends influences he/she very little.

To sum up, Even though people lose old friends, it is not often a bad thing to move to a new city or a new country. Perhaps they feel lonely at first, but when they are used to new life, they will make new friends and may have a better life.

qianhuangUID: 2766587

2月28日 综合 TPO8


The lecturer talks about the citics of Chevalier's memoir. She says that although no man more can correct every detail in the memoir, there are some reliable sources which can prove most things in Chevalier's memoir are accurate. She then refutes the three examples critics support.

First, critics says that it is a lie that Chevalier was wealhy, and he even lived on borrowing money. But the lecturer argues that Chevalier borrowed money because he spent a huge amout of money on parties and gambling, and he won't have so much money on him. It took a few days for him to wait money arrive, so he borrowed first. Thus, it is not truth critics says he was poor.

Second, the speaker says the accuracy of the conversations between Chevalier and Voltaire can not be suspected. She argues that there are evidents that Chevalier wrote down every thing as possible as he can each night after the conversations, and when he wrote this memoir, he can remember exact detail by the notes.

Third, critics are skeptical about Chevalier's escape experience from the prison. The lecturer says that there are no friends have more power than Chevalier, so no one can help him. And even more, after Chevalier's escape, all of the prison's ceiling had been repaired. If he did not make a hole, prison did not need to repair it.

同样~写完第一篇综合存在的几点问题：
1. 字数要求？？
2. 尽量按听写来写作文呢还是按自己的想法修改一下句子？

waiting1UID: 2997856

Today, many people move to new cities or new countries {【as a result of (似乎多余了。应该可以直接用for）various reasons such as job demand（这个。我不知道你想表达什么。是为了工作吗？好像没有job demand这种说法的。）, seeking for better living environment（我好想很少见到living environment这种说法，比较多见的应该是living condition吧？）】原因这句，如果是我，直接写for a ideal job and a better living condition。似乎这样写一来可以明白，二来不易犯错。Reason的话，后面应该直接加定从吧}. Leaving old home（这个old home好像有点中式英语把。） leads（lead要加s） to the lose of familar surroundings and a lot of friends. But I do not think that（如果这里是指代，我觉得可能会造成指代不明。直接用从句吧。但是直接用从句可能又会造成啰嗦的重复吧。所以我建议用I think xxx）
because of the lose of old friends, moving to a new place becomes a bad thing. （because后面是跟名词。而且这里的原因我也有点看不懂- -。）
综合第一段，你可以先试着用更简单点的句子把你想要说的表达清楚。这里的观点我不是很明白额。



Most of people prefer to stay and live in（重复了）
an（维萨米是an啊？） stable environment rather than move often（这里的话，可能比较中式英语。Move their house too often也许好点）. So when someone decides to move, it（there） must be some reasons
which

urge he/she to do so. Perhaps there are more job opportunities in the new city or country（有点重复）, or maybe most of his/her（不要这样用比较好。直接用their吧） relatives are living in the（为什么要特指呢？） new place and the（this） place is more convient for people to live. Thus（这个thus似乎可以去掉） comparing（compared） with the lose of old friends, job, relatives and good living surrounding are more important for a（one？） person. （从这里之后好像跳跃的有点严重了。因为你前面实在讲job，relatives，living surrounding，后面突然用edu来举例。似乎不妥）For instance, nowadays there are a number of parents move to a new city or a new country for the reason that they hope their children can（用could更好） get the best education where some best schools（单复数） are located（我感觉这个从句有点不妥额。但说不上来。我语法分析能力不好。也许是感觉错了）. Albeit they（those parents？初读我没看出指代谁） lose some close friends, better furture of their children means more to them.
1）如果你这段的主旨是第一句的话。也应该是第一段是主旨。那么，后面的内容应该是写为什么这群人喜欢不搬家。不要绕到说有些人不得不搬家的原因。然后让读者去理解他们其实不想搬。我的这个意思有点绕，解释的不很清楚。简言之，就是要直白，不要绕。
2）关于这个例子。搬家==》孩子们更好的教育==》孩子们更好的未来。后面两个似乎缺了个东西。我们当然觉得更好的教育就有了更好的未来。但似乎米国人不是这样觉得的。跳了太多。比如你可以说好教育==》好工作==》好未来。我不知道我这样对不对。我试图从我同学和我说的去想你这里的问题。

Moreover, although people may lose old friends and feel lonely at the beginning（要说清楚。恩。而且，如果你用了and，我感觉这个关系不很紧密。似乎，people who lose their old friends would feel lonely at the beginning of their new life更好。）, he/she can get in touch with（我感觉这个动词应该是和老朋友联系的吧。新朋友的话，似乎直接make new friends就好了吧。） new people in the new place and make new friends. So people can still have a lot of friends around. And I also（and和also较重复） believe that really good friends（比较中式吧。结合后面的内容Our old friends似乎更好）
won't be alienated because of one's（our） leaving. At the present day（at present）, people are able to communicate with others by kinds of
（各种各样的？Various kinds of）methods, like call a phone（making a phone call）, sending E-mails, send（texting）short messages and so on. If olds friends are willing to keep
in
touch with each other, their friendship won't be frozen off（持保留意见）. So the friends people lose caused by moving（移动？要说清楚是搬家哦） are not their best friends.（哇。我看了半天刚看到这个观点。这个不对额。观点要开门见山）
If a person move for a new job, the lose of these old friends influences he/she very little.（最后句话有点累赘。不知道想表达什么哈。如果是观点，就要有证明）
如果你的观点是这段倒数第二句话，那这段中间前半部分应该是不需要的。所以建议先写观点。然后思考用什么方法去证明你的观点。

To sum up, Even though people lose
their old friends, it is not often a bad thing to move to a new city or a new country（原来你是在一直重复题目啊。。）. Perhaps they would
feel lonely at first, but when they are used to
their new life, they could make new friends and may（删） have a better life.

总的来说。内容有点不清晰额。试图用简单的
论点+论据来写吧。不要绕。首先可以列提纲，要列的你觉得肯定是在说明题目。然后每段先写观点。在用内容来支持观点。。。加油啊。



抱歉弄的有点乱。我不能上传附件。么的办法。。。

sEven_zhUID: 3007258

Today, many people move to new cities or new countries as a result of various reasons (这句话有欠斟酌，因为‘理由’不能导致‘结果’，这里就说because of就好了，不要画蛇添足) such as job demand, seeking for better living environment. Leaving old home lead to the lose of familar surroundings and a lot of friends. But I do not think that because of the lose of old friends, moving to a new place becomes a bad thing. （这句话太初级了，不适合托福，给个建议，仅供参考：I don’t think the loss of old friends can be a predominant factor that hamper people to make a decision of moving to another places. ）' h' H3 Z" F8 n4 G+ a
2 a- X& k7 F' C5 Q) V) j5 V- L
Most of people prefer to stay and live in an stable environment rather than move often. So when someone decides to move, it must be some reasons urge he/she (him/her) to do so. Perhaps there are more job opportunities in the new city or country, or maybe most of his/her relatives are living in the new place and the place is more convient for people to live. Thus comparing with the lose of old friends, job, relatives and good living surrounding are more important for a person. For instance, nowadays there are a number of parents move to a new city or a new country for the reason that they hope their children (有点重复，要不就说for the reason that their children can receive a better education，要不就说because they hope。。。。。。) can get the best education where some best school are located. Albeit they lose some close friends, better furture of their children means more to them. （要记住，逻辑比句子的华丽更重要，ETS考察的事考生的总结能力，表达能力和逻辑思维，最重要的事把意思表达清楚，而不是追求句子的华丽）
, V, B7 e* o' t# U# N, ], B5 [' l4 e: x/ u
Moreover, although people may lose old friends and feel lonely at the beginning, he/she can get in touch with new people in the new place and make new friends.（get in touch with new friend和make new friends有什么不同呢- -你把这两个顺序倒过来也好点啊） So people can still have a lot of friends around. And I also believe that really good friends won't be alienated because of one's leaving. At the present day, people communicate with others by many kinds of methods, like call a phone （take a phone call）, send an E-mail, send short （你想说短信的话，直接message就好了）message and so on. If olds friends are willing to keep touch with each other, their friendship won't be frozen off. So the friends people lose caused by moving are not their best friends. If a person move for a new job, the lose of these old friends influences he/she very little. （你好像有点chinglish啊- - 这里说成 have a little influence比较顺点吧）
5 C) i" Q) w: u1 L; R* y8 H" J, W6 }% [8 t3 O$ L3 v
To sum up, Even though people lose old friends, it is not often a bad thing to move to a new city or a new country. Perhaps they feel lonely at first, but when they are get used to new life, they will make new friends and may have a better life.

感觉楼主的句型比较匮乏，观点还可以，但是表达的不够准确，大家一起加油吧~

mrescUID: 2869511

2月28日 综合 TPO8

The lecturer talks about the citics（critics） of (the) Chevalier's memoir. She says that （although no man more can correct every detail in the memoir)(括号中语句删去), there are some reliable sources which can prove most things in Chevalier's memoir are accurate（the accuracy of the Chevalier’s memoir）. She then refutes the three examples critics(这句话删去).
First（Firstly）, critics says that it is a lie that (the)Chevalier was wealhy(rich), and he even lived on borrowing money. But the lecturer argues that (the)Chevalier borrowed money because he spent a huge amout of money on parties and gambling, and he won't have so much money on him. It took a few days for him to wait money （to）arrive, so he borrowed first. Thus, it is not truth critics says he was poor.（This directly contradicts what the reading says）(理由不对，主要的理由是主人公拥有的是不动产，需要等待资金周转，这个理由请写在最前面)
Second(Secondly), the speaker says the accuracy of the conversations between Chevalier and Voltaire can not be suspected(since this event happened long time before the publish of his memoir). She argues that there are evidents(testimonies) that (the) Chevalier wrote down every thing as possible as he can each night after the conversations, and when he wrote this memoir, he can remember exact detail by the notes.(这个理由到位)
Third（Thirdly）, critics are skeptical about (the)Chevalier's escape experience from the prison. The lecturer says that some of his cellmates had more political powers than (the) Chevalier, so it’s not true by claiming someone helped him. And even more, after Chevalier's escape, all(one) of the prison's ceiling had been repaired according to a government file. If he did not make a hole, prison did not need to repair it. So this is a cogent reason to believe what the Chevalier wrote was based on the fact.

同样~写完第一篇综合存在的几点问题：
1. 字数要求？？
不少于200
2. 尽量按听写来写作文呢还是按自己的想法修改一下句子？
必须要修改！多加一点连接词，把逻辑关系理清楚再写！你的文章逻辑不太清晰，记住把重要的卸载前面！多用连接词。

sEven_zhUID: 3007258

The lecturer talks about the citics of Chevalier's memoir.(lecture讲的是对这个回忆录的批评吗？) She says that although no man more（？） can correct every detail in the memoir, there are some reliable sources which can prove most things in Chevalier's memoir are accurate. She then refutes the three examples critics support.
* f1 k9 K! x! D* {# y+ T! q  t% X9 I4 E
First, critics says that it is a lie that Chevalier was wealhy (wealthy), and he even lived on borrowing money. But the lecturer argues that Chevalier borrowed money because he spent a huge amout of money on parties and gambling, and he won't have so much money on him. It took a few days for him to wait money arrive, so he borrowed first. Thus, it is not a truth critics says he was poor. (注意单词别拼错)
( x, K6 W5 _& |7 \4 @
( N  E' @' {' }% [/ \Second, the speaker says the accuracy of the conversations between Chevalier and Voltaire can not be suspected. She argues that there are evidents that Chevalier wrote down every thing as possible as he can each night after the conversations, and when he wrote this memoir, he can remember exact detail by (referring) the notes.
# i# h6 m# y9 h5 C6 e* S/ N
Third, critics are skeptical about Chevalier's escape experience from the prison. The lecturer says that there are no friends have more power than Chevalier, so no one can help him. (这里听错了,听力说的是,他的prison mates里面有权利比他大的,却都没有逃出去,所以不可能是借助了权利人士的帮助) And even more, after Chevalier's escape, all of the prison's ceiling had been repaired. If he did not make a hole, prison did not need to repair it.# `' U* l9 W5 J4 T% i

qianhuangUID: 2766587

3月15日 综合写作 TPO2
According to the reading material, tworeasons are given to prove the state a team of people brings several advantagesfor a project. However, in the lecture, the speaker challenges the readingpassage's argument for providing a drastically contradictory example that acompany turned over some projects to teams of people but did not benefit. It isquite clear that the lecture is casting doubt on the reading passage.

First of all, even though a group of peoplehelps to obtain wider range of knowledge, expertise and skills, we can not besure that every people in the group will endeavor at the same extent. In fact,according to the speaker's saying, in every team, there are some members who donot contribute much but get much "free ride", while those members whosolute problem well may can't stand out because the process belongs to thegroup finally. In this case, team work can not help members to "shine",but actually decrease their enthusiasm.

Secondly, when it comes to a project,although there are more people to do the same job, it may not help to improve efficiency.In the lecture the speaker argues that the project moved not quickly asexcepted. For instance, there are many meetings which cost much time to reachthe agreement of all members' points. Furthermore, there are usually one ormore influential people whose idea often represents most members' idea. Consequently,some different but truly effective idea is ignored. Albeit these membersdisagreed with the wrong idea, the blame also place on all people in the group.

To sum up, we can easily conclude that thepoints of the lecture are contradicted to those of the reading passage, Theexample the speaker cites clearly demonstrates that the reading passage is notpersuasive as it stands.

corrine97UID: 2868974

3.15 综合改
According to the reading material, two reasons are given to prove the state a team of people brings several advantages for a project. However, in the lecture, the speaker challenges the readingpassage's argument for providing a drastically contradictory example that acompany turned over some projects to teams of people but did not benefit. It isquite clear that the lecture is casting doubt on the reading passage.  e% C3 Y$ a, F, L" e

First of all, even though a group of peoplehelps to obtain wider range of knowledge, expertise and skills, we can not besure that every people in the group will endeavor at the same extent. In fact,according to the speaker's saying, in every team, there are some members who donot contribute much but get much "free ride", while those members whosolute problem well may can't stand out because the process belongs to thegroup finally. In this case, team work can not help members to "shine",but actually decrease their enthusiasm.(“shine”这个点我个人认为不应当是在这一段写的，reading中认为members 会感觉到“shine”是在他们的想法被得到recognized之后，所以应该放在第二段) ' `2 B: P$ @( C# o8 A) M  f2 i. f; Y
Secondly, when it comes to a project,although there are more people to do the same job, it may not help to improve efficiency.In the lecture the speaker argues that the project moved not quickly asexcepted. For instance, there are many meetings which cost much time to reachthe agreement of all members' points. Furthermore, there are usually one ormore influential people whose idea often represents most members' idea. Consequently,some different but truly effective idea is ignored. Albeit these membersdisagreed with the wrong idea, the blame also place on all people in the group.5 y+ Y+ k! o5 ^% [. C5 l& e9 i
! |' _& q) i: T3 q9 V: r6 w
To sum up, we can easily conclude that thepoints of the lecture are contradicted to those of the reading passage, Theexample the speaker cites clearly demonstrates that the reading passage is

点都找全了。但表达有点chinglish。加油哦！！

qianhuangUID: 2766587

3.16 TPO3In the lecture, the speaker challenges thereading passage's argument for providing some drastically contradictoryevidence that the original painting is masked by someone. He says the claimstated in the passage was somewhat inaccurate when compared to reexamineresult.

First of all, the original painting iscovered by other dye, because someone wants to increase the value of thispainting by making the woman looks like an aristocratic lady. After reexamination,the original fur color is consistent with the identity of the woman. In otherword, this painting is harmonious with Rembrandt's style.

Secondly, after removing the surfacecamouflage, the color of fur collar is light which reflect light well. So theface appears naturally as the painting shows. In other words, Rembrandt stillcontrol the light and shadow well in this painting.

Thirdly, through reexamination, the speakersays that it is a single piece of wood that the original painting was paintedon. Furthermore, this kind of wood was just used in Rembrandt's anotherpainting. That is, several piece of wood was used by other people to modify thepainting. This directly contradicts what the passage indicates.

To sum up, we can easily conclude that thepoints of the lecture are contradicted to those of the reading passage. Theevidence the speaker cites clearly demonstrates that the reading passage is notpersuasive as it stands.

corrine97UID: 2868974

3.16 综合已经改完了~~没有发现什么问题。所以就不贴上来了

继续加油！！！

qianhuangUID: 2766587

3月17日 综合 TPO4The lecture revised the theory stated inthe passage that dinosaurs are endotherms rather than reptiles. She cites threereasons as following to refute the text.

First of all, there is evidence whichproves that polar regions when polar dinosaurs lived were warmer than today.And at that time, the regions were warm enough for those animals that aren'tendotherms to live. Furthermore, along with the polar regions becoming coolerand cooler, dinosaurs already left. Thus, we can not be sure dinosaurs canendure cold weather by these polar dinosaur fossils.

Secondly, admittedly, dinosaurs' legs arepositioned underneath their body, the lecture claims that this structure is notused for running or efficient movement. Actually, it is common sense thatdinosaurs have large size and high weight, so they need this structure tosupport more weight.

Thirdly, not only haversian canals, thebones of dinosaurs also contain growth rings which make them stop growing orgrow more slowly during cold period. In fact, this is character of reptiles. Ifdinosaurs are endotherms, they will grow rapidly even when the weather is cold.

To sum up, we can easily conclude that thepoints of the lecture are contradicted to those of the reading passage. The evidencethe lecture cites clearly demonstrates that the passage is not persuasive as itstands.

qianhuangUID: 2766587

3.18 综合The lecture actually contradicts all the theoriesstated in the passage. He says none of them are correct according to the fact.

First of all, although the Chaco structureslook like residential, it is impossible for hundreds of people to live. Theprofessor says that if there are so many residents, there must be plentiful furniturelike fireplace found by archaeologists, because the furniture is needed forevery family. In fact, only very few fireplaces are found in Chaco whichindicates it won't be a residential place.

Secondly, there is no evidence can supportthe theory that the Chaco structures were used for storing food. The professoracknowledges that the large space of Chaco is available to store grain maize,but he also points out that they can only use some big containers to store thesefoods. Furthermore, there are maize containers under the floor which canfulfill the need.

Thirdly, the assumption that these houseswere used as ceremonial centers is refuted by that fact archaeologists foundnot only large number of broken pots, but also some other building materialslike sand, stone. That is, these materials are not used for holding ceremoniesbut just remains when building the houses.

To sum up, the lecture revises three ideaspresented in the text. So, the purpose of Chaco Canyon is still a mystery.

lv1015UID: 2505136

12# qianhuang

3.18 综合改 The lecture actually contradicts all the theories stated in the passage. He （the lecture is he?）says none of them are correct according to the fact.* w3 r8 e  o- p8 A: [3 H $ b4 Q8 [( n+ j" E* [ First of all, although the Chaco structures look like residential, it is impossible for hundreds of people to live. The professor says that if there are so many residents, there must (should好点吧？） be plentiful furniture like fireplace found by archaeologists, because the furniture is needed for every family. In fact, only very few fireplaces are found in Chaco which indicates it won't （couldn't会不会更好点？） be a residential place.% d9 Y8 ?9 i% O, Q  L: B9 O3 [' e ! k( {. t9 q5 }5 P' z# O' xSecondly, there is（这两词在此句中多余吧？） no evidence can support the theory that the Chaco structures were used for storing food. The professor acknowledges that the large space of Chaco is available to store grain maize,but he also points out that they can only use some big containers to store these foods. Furthermore, there are maize containers under the floor which can fulfill the need. (这段的听力论据不太准，建议再听一边哦)u6 ~$ [, n4 G2 j 2 I0 y3 S. s0 n2 A. O" k- J6 e9 n Thirdly, the assumption that these houses were used as ceremonial centers is refuted by that（the） fact （that） archaeologists found not only large number of broken pots, but also some other building materials like sand, stone. That is（没有见过that is用句首解释前面已经结束的句子，建议查证一下，我不确定这样是否正确）, these materials are not used for holding ceremonies but just remains when building the houses. ; T( o. |# {2 g' ?1 f# R 0 T/ i; p. u& Z7 F) @# hTo sum up, the lecture revises three ideas presented in the text. So, the purpose of Chaco Canyon is still a mystery. 以上个人观点，仅供楼主参考，谢谢诶

qianhuangUID: 2766587

TPO 8 综合The lecture contradicts the statementpresented in the passage that Chevalier distorted or invented many events inthe memoir. The professor is of the view that although no one can be sure it iscompletely correct, the memoir is accurate overall depending on a reliable historicalsource.

First of all, critics say that Chevalierseems not to be so wealthy as the memoir described, because he often needed toborrow money. However, the professor talks about the fact that Chevalier actuallyhas great number of asset, but these assets needed to be converted to money forseveral days. That is, since he spent huge money on party and gambling, heoften borrowed money first to wait his own money.

Secondly, critics suspect the accuracy ofthe conversations between Chevalier and Voltaire. Admittedly, no one canpossibly capture these conversations accurately after many years. However, theprofessor points out Chevalier wrote down every detail in his notes each nightafter the conversations. So the notes which were preserved well help him torecord these precious conversations.

Thirdly, critics doubt the experience abouthow Chevalier escaped from the prison. Nonetheless, they have no evidence tosupport their assumption that Chevalier bribed someone to free himself. As theprofessor says, there are other people who have more powerful friends thanChevalier, but no one of them had escaped from prisons. Furthermore, after hisescape, the ceiling of the old prison room was repaired. If Chevalier did notmake a hole in the ceiling, why the prison needs to repair it?

To sum up, the passage's suspicion ofChevalier's memoir is unreasonable and premature because the evidence cited inthe text does not support them strongly.

sun3mayUID: 2574771

改TPO 8 综合The lecture contradicts the statementpresented in the passage that Chevalier distorted or invented many events inthe memoir. The professor is of the view（？） that although no one can be sure it i scompletely correct, the memoir is accurate overall depending on a reliable historical source.

First of all, critics say that Chevalier seems not to be so wealthy as the memoir described, because he often needed to borrow money. However, the professor talks about the fact that Chevalier actually has great number of asset, but these assets needed to be converted to money forseveral days. That is, since he spent huge money on party and gambling, he often borrowed money first to wait his own money.

Secondly, critics suspect the accuracy of the conversations between Chevalier and Voltaire. Admittedly, no one can possibly capture these conversations accurately after many years. However, theprofessor points out Chevalier wrote down every detail in his notes each night after the conversations. So the notes which were preserved well help him to record these precious conversations.6 V1 [! I3 z$ x$ u

" U4 s- ]. S* k5 K' K) m* y& p
Thirdly, critics doubt the experience abouthow Chevalier escaped from the prison. Nonetheless, they have no evidence to support their assumption that Chevalier bribed someone to free himself. As theprofessor says, there are other people who have more powerful friends than Chevalier, but no one of them had escaped from prisons. Furthermore, after his escape, the ceiling of the old prison room was repaired. If Chevalier did not make a hole in the ceiling, why the prison needs to repair it?（建议还是用陈述句吧~）1 E0 H+ J( a/ t

To sum up, the passage's suspicion of Chevalier's memoir is unreasonable and premature because the evidence（加上s） cited inthe text does not support them strongly.


要点挺全的，语言也挺流畅的，没啥大问题。
一起加油！