daily writing by qianhuang

qianhuangUID: 2766587

4月22日 独立Doyou agree or disagree with the following statement:
Allhigh-school students should take basic economic courses.

rain_deerUID: 3048091

4.22 综合修改在下面了。
可能改的不太对哦~


The reading passage talks about three [url=]phenomenons in archaeology areas[/url][l1] . However, the professor says that the situation has been improved greatly since 1990. And she describes the new situation in the three areas discussed in the passage.

Firstly, the passage indicates that valuable artifacts were lost [url=]to[/url][l2] construction projects. Nonetheless, the professor cites the recent fact that before construction, the sites will be examined by archaeologists. Once there are some valuable things, the government and scientists will make a plan to preserve them. So no precious artifacts will be lost due to the construction project.

Secondly, [url=]although[/url][l3] in the past there [url=]is[/url][l4] little financial support for archaeological research, now [url=]these researches[/url][l5] will be paid by construction companies not by government. Since these companies need to employ archaeologists to examine the sites where they want to build on, it is appropriate for them to pay for the archaeological research. Thus, it is not necessary to worry about the funding problem.

Thirdly, because of the [url=]development of construction industry[/url][l6] , [url=]the condition of archaeology has been changed a lot[/url][l7] . Construction companies are needed of massive professional archaeologists, which creates a great number of job opportunities[url=]. And not only examining sites, archaeologists also help the preserve plan.[/url][l8] As a result, increasing job opportunities are offered to professional archaeologists.

To sum up, the situation of archaeology has been [url=]changed dramatically[/url][l9] , and the problems in the reading passage no longer exist.


总结：可数名词单数前面要加冠词，你好像有好多没加。剩下是一些对听力的理解问题(照着script看的)，我也不太拿得准，但是擅自改了，希望对你有参考价值啦。

[l1]problems facing archaeology
(problem 和improve比较才有However)



[l2]in



[l3]while



[l4]was



[l5]the archaeological work done on the construction site



[l6]new guidelines concerning the construction process(这个情况的改变不是由于建筑业的发展，而是新规定使然)



[l7]new paid work are provided for archaeologists.
感觉中心句这样更明确一些  



[l8]，including examining the site, and helping with the preservation plan.
这句读着别扭就改了。



[l9]improved
(原文好像没有说dramatically, 个人觉得这么说不稳)

qianhuangUID: 2766587

4月25日 独立

qianhuangUID: 2766587

4月25日 综合

郝郝同学UID: 3024925

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Movies and televisions should always show audience good people are being rewarded and bad people are being published.

It is common view in the movies and televisions that good will inevitably prevail over evil.（这貌似不是一个common view） And we can often see that at the end of movies and TV programs good people usually gain rewards like treasure and adoration of lover and bad people must be published and will be no longer able to harm others. This scenario is frequently seen in some old movies like 007. （007的英文名貌似也不叫007）In actually（in 去掉）, this is an artistic method to express people's good wishes.

I acknowledge that showing audience good people being rewarded and bad people being published is a significant way to educate children and even adults. People can learn from their programs that bad people will come to no good end ultimately, and intimate the good idol in the programs to behave rightly. Furthermore, it also represents the society's （公众的价值观？public是不是好点）sense of value. However, I don't agree with the point to always show audience these scenes.

In fact, humanity is so complicated that we should not classify all people into two kinds -- good and bad. Many people are kind-hearted, but they perhaps make some mistakes in their lives,（断句） how we define them? Should we define them as bad people since they have done something wrong? I think it is inaccurate and unfair to regard a person depending on their one-side behavior. So movies and televisions should sometimes show audience the reality of the world, since it usually plays the role to teach people and express the world's wishes. If people always see absolutely good and bad, they may be less cautious and unable to identify the whole aspects of a person which is likely to harm themselves. For example, I have a friend named Kate who is simple and believe（形式不对） the fairy story showed in the movies and televisions. Several months ago, she met a woman who talked with her on the Internet, and they chatted well. When the woman wanted to borrow some money from her, Kate agreed. But finally, it turned out that the woman cheated her, and Kate can't （过去式） get contact with her anymore. From the example, we can know what influence movies and televisions. To guide people to the real world, I suggest these programs should show audience the danger of the real world to a certain degree.

In addition, because movies and televisions are forms of art, they should have diverse themes to create various styles of art. If they always focus on only one theme like good must prevail over evil, people will feel boring and it is also bad for these forms of art to develop. So movies and televisions should try different kinds of thought.

To sum up, I relatively disagree with the point in the text, and I suggest movies and televisions to try other theme to show colorful world to audience.

1 作者写了两段才提出自己的观点 提出的有点迂回 再直接点
2 作者的词汇用的比较多样 但个别词 good  bad 这样的词汇使用频率过高
3 作者的句型需要多加变换
4 我个人认为 作者所给观点不够明确 第一个说的是 不能把人简单得分为好或者不好 这貌似是一个中立观点 但是你明确提出的又是你不同意，有点纠结啊 第二个观点是不是有点太略了 总共就2个 后面那个还就那点 说服力不够啊！

个人水平有限 不妥之处 望见谅！！

qianhuangUID: 2766587

4月26日 独立Agree or disagree? if children want to do well in school, parents should limit the hours of watching TV programs and movies.
Should school child be limited on the hours of watching TV programs and movies.

qianhuangUID: 2766587

4月26日 综合

kusehexingUID: 2607458

4.26 独立修改-kusehexing

rain_deerUID: 3048091

4.26 综合修改


The lecture contracts contradicts (contract: v 签合同；收缩（使…尺寸缩小）＝shrink＝condense＝compress＝deflate＝wrinkle；n 合同（具有法律效力的书面协议，比如：婚约）)the theory stated in the passage that buzzing has generated some critics criticizes buzzing. (反对的不是buzzing 引起批评这一事实，反对的是针对buzzing的批评). The student named Bill talks about his experience being a buzzer to refute what is said in the passage.

Firstly, the passage claims that buzzers may give consumers some incorrect information about the buzzed product. But Bill says that before a buzzer praises the product, s/he have has to use it first. Only when the buzzer thinks the product is good, s/he will praise it. And buzzers are paid for selling products, not telling lies to attract consumers. So it is a prejudice for people to think that buzzers don't say truth do not tell the truth.

Secondly, although some critics are of the view hold the view that many consumers may believe buzzers too easily and may be harmed by them, Bill says the fact is that when buzzers talk about a product, consumers will ask a lot of questions, if buzzers can't answer these questions, consumers won't buy the product. Because buzzers can contact interact with consumers face to face, it is easier for consumers to get more (前面已经有一个easier，后面就不用再来比较级了) familiar with the product. If buzzers tell some contrary false information, consumers are able to find it out quickly.

Thirdly, the passage believes people will become less trustful of people in general when becoming aware that some people are buzzers. However, in Bill's point, it is totally a stupid idea. He says if the product is bad, companies won't allow buzzers to try. Buzzers only praise product which they think is are good, so consumers will like it them and be more trustful of people.

To sum up, the passage's criticism is unreasonable and premature when compared to the fact.


s/he没有见过这么写的...只见过he/she, 但是也不排除我少见多怪。。。

总结：这篇我没有听力文本，凭印象的，感觉大点上都没有错。都是一些小细节，还有一些我认为别扭的地方。一切意见仅供参考~

mpromanusUID: 2565872

48# qianhuang

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Movies and televisions should always show audience good people are being rewarded and bad people are being punished.

It is common view in the movies and televisions that good will inevitably prevail over evil. And we can often see that at the end of movies and TV programs good people usually gain rewards like treasure and adoration of lovers and bad people must be punished and will be no longer able to harm others. This scenario is frequently seen in some old movies like 007. (007 is the main character of the series. It is not the name of any particular movie. And the series is not old. It has a long history but that doesn't mean 'old'. The most recent 007 movie, Quantum of Solace, was released in 2008, and I think the next is due in 2012.) In actually, this is an artistic method to express people's good wishes.

I acknowledge that showing audience good people being rewarded and bad people being punished (At least, please do not copy from the question blindly..) is a significant way to educate children and even adults. People can learn from their (Whose?) programs that bad people will come to no good end ultimately, and intimate? (You mean..'imitate'?)
the good idols in the programs to behave rightly. Furthermore, it also represents the society's sense of value. However, I don't agree with the point to always show audience these scenes.

In fact, humanity is so complicated that we should not classify all people into two kinds -- good and bad. Many people are kind-hearted, but they perhaps make some mistakes in their lives. How we define them? Should we define them as bad people since they have done something wrong? I think it is inaccurate and unfair to regard a person depending on their one-side behavior?. So movies and televisions should sometimes show audience the reality of the world, since it usually plays the role to teach people and express the world's wishes?. If people always see absolutely good and bad, they may be less cautious and unable to identify the whole aspects of a person which is likely to harm themselves. For example, I have a friend named Kate who is simple and believes in the fairy tales showed in the movies and televisions. Several months ago, she met a woman who talked with her on the Internet, and they chatted well. When the woman wanted to borrow some money from her, Kate agreed. But finally, it turned out that the woman cheated her, and Kate can't get contact with her anymore. (So.. did Kate make this mistake because she is simple and naive, or because she believed in movies and television programs? Perhaps. We don't know, because you didn't specify that her reason for believing in the woman was from movies/TV.) From the example, we can know what influences movies and televisions (I thought you were discussing how movies and television influence people, not the other way round..). To guide people to the real world, I suggest these programs should show audience the danger of the real world to a certain degree.

In addition, because movies and televisions are forms of art, they should have diverse themes to create various styles of art. If they always focus on only one theme like good must prevail over evil, people will feel bored (Things are 'boring'. People are 'bored'.) and it is also bad for these forms of art to develop. So movies and televisions should try different kinds of thought.

To sum up, I relatively disagree with the point in the text? (There is a 'text'? Where?), and I suggest movies and televisions to try other theme to show a colorful world to audience.

总结：

首先你至少要知道题目里也会有语法错误的（因为大家互相传来抄去。。）所以你就尽量要避免再跟着全篇抄错了。。

然后就是要尽量减少意思莫名其妙的遣词。。不会用的词请不要勉强用，换个会用的。

论述方面就是说你没有证明是电影电视造成你朋友上别人当的。。因为你说她本来就很单纯。。所以她上别人当可以是因为她本来就很单纯。。和她相信电影电视不一定有关系。。除非你特别指明她上别人当是因为相信电影情节而不是完全因为本人单纯。。你要知道自己需要说明的因果关系到底是什么。逻辑不是说你把材料按照要点罗列一下就有的。。

qianhuangUID: 2766587

4月30日 独立

hyliu1-08UID: 3063421

4月30日 独立  qianhuang(valarie)  改
怎么往上放ｗｏｒｄ呢我帮你改好了

qianhuangUID: 2766587

5月1日 独立