daily writing by qianhuang

qianhuangUID：2766587

5月2日 独立
The best way to improve the quality of education is to increase teachers' salaries.

qianhuangUID：2766587

5月3日 独立

yecochiUID：2693601

qianhuang0502獨立

The best way to improve the quality ofeducation is to increase teachers' salaries.



Education is an important part of childrenand teenagers' lives. Young people spend the major time of a day in school, soteachers play an essential role in their lives. In order to teach studentswell, teachers are trained carefully and government have given some welfare toattract more elites to contribute to education. Now, there is saying that thebest way to improve the quality of education is to increase teachers' salaries.In my point, I would like to agree with this saying.
Good introduction!
Firstly, once teachers' salaries areincreased, teachers won't need to worry about their lives such as housing. Withthe improvement of their live condition, teacher can spend more energy oneducation career. They can focus on how to teach students well. We all know itis hard to be a good teacher because there are a great number of students in aclass. A teacher needs to devotemuch energy to take care of all students well. For example, when I was in myprimary school, my teacher got low salary. To earn more money, she often heldsome continuation classes which distracted her focus on students. And although shetried to educated students properly, my teacher had no enough time and energyto pay attention to all things at the same time. In recent day, Chinesegovernment has invest massive funds to improve teachers' condition, likeassigning houses for them free and giving considerable money to them after theyretire. All these measures are taken improve the quality of education. (論述舉例的很好，最後一句舉例後的主題回扣若能更精準的扣本段觀點會更好)


Topic sentence: higher payment could stimulate more beneficial competitionamong education career. (主題句放段落第一句較符合托福要求)
Secondly, teacher is a respectableoccupation, which also obtains lots of welfare. Ifthe salaries increase, this occupation will attract more people. More people are interested meansmore competition. And competition indicates only those who have betterquality and ability will gain the job, which directly improve the qualityof teachers and help education's development. Furthermore, fierce competition also urges teachers to work harderto prevent being replaced by others. For instance, every year, my high schoolemploys new teachers via evaluating their quality in all aspects. Plenty ofpeople attempt to access/enter the school due to the high salaries. This measurebenefitS the school to keep advanced on education,since these new but excellent teachers bring creative educational methodS.


In addition, unlike organizing some classesfor teacher to improve their skill or other methods, increasing their salarieswill urge teacher to work harder objectively because of fierce competition. And perhaps somepeople may say education is not event only related with teachers, the effect of parents and students themselves is also essential./ Somepeople may say that education
is not onlyrelated with teachers, but also relevant to the efforts of parents andstudents. I acknowledge education is a complex problem.
But since the teacher is the most skillful person in education, it is easiest tomeliorate faculty to improve the quality of education.


To sum up, teachers are the most significant part of education, and increasing theirsalaries will sufficiently improve the quality of education.

hyliu1-08UID：3063421

发到邮箱了

qianhuangUID：2766587

5月4日 独立Which is better? Challenging plans about one's future or practical plans about one's future?

EMP_CHENGUID：2762848

5月3日 独立

不好意思，批晚了，久等了

http://u.115.com/file/t756d0500e

mpromanusUID：2565872

61# qianhuang

The best way to improve the quality of education is to increase teachers' salaries.

Education is an important part of children and teenagers' lives. Young people spend the majority time of a day in school, so teachers play an essential role in their lives. In order to teach students well, teachers are trained carefully and the government have given some welfare to attract more elites to contribute to education. Now, there is saying that the best way to improve the quality of education is to increase teachers' salaries. In my point, I would like to agree with this saying.

Firstly, once teachers' salaries are increased, teachers won't need to worry about their lives such as housing. (That actually depends on whether the increase in salaries is able to catch up with the increase in house prices..oh but there’s nothing wrong with what you wrote. I was just blabbering away.) With the improvement of their living conditions, teacher can spend more energy on education career. They can focus on how to teach students well. We all know it is hard to be a good teacher because there are a great number of students in a class. A teacher needs to devote much energy to take care of all students well. For example, when I was in my primary school, my teacher got a low salary. To earn more money, she often held some continuation (I’m not sure what you’re trying to express here. Do you mean she was doing ‘remedial’ classes? Or ‘tuition’ classes for other external parties? The point here is that if she held these classes for her students, then you can’t say they ‘distracted’ her. So, what you need to stress is that she was not holding this classes for her students but for some other people instead. What exactly these classes were called is not important.) classes which distracted her focus on students. And although she tried to educated students properly, my teacher had not enough time nor/or energy to pay attention to all things at the same time. In recent days, the Chinese government has invested massive funds to improve teachers' conditions, like assigning free houses for them free and giving considerable money (Do you mean ‘pension’?) to them after they retire. All these measures are taken to improve the quality of education.

Secondly, the teacher is a respectable occupation, which also receives much welfare. If the salaries increase, this occupation will attract more people. More people being interested means more competition. And competition indicates only those who have better qualities and abilities will get the jobs, which directly improves the standard of teachers and helps education's development. Furthermore, a fierce competition also urges teachers to work harder to avoid being replaced by others. For instance, every year, my high school employs new teachers via evaluating their quality in all aspects. Plenty of people attempt to enter the school due to the high salaries. This measure benefits the school in keeping it advanced on education, since these new but excellent teachers bring creative educational methods.

In addition, unlike organizing some classes for teachers to improve their skills or other methods, increasing their salaries will urge teacher to work harder objectively because of fierce competition. (This is a good effort to address the question, but it is rather weak, because you seem to assume that competition is only fierce when the salary is good. Is this assumption always valid? Do you think that’s the only reason people are attracted to teaching? Why can you assume that people will not attracted to teaching even if some other aspects are good – e.g. good chances for promotion, travel, conferences, on-job training, etc.?) And perhaps some people may say education is not event only related? with teacher, the effect of parents and students themselves is also essential. I acknowledge education is a complex problem, but since the teacher is the most skillful person in education, it is easiest to meliorate faculty (Usually, only teachers at tertiary level are called ‘faculties’. Teachers in primary and secondary education are not normally called ‘faculties’.) to improve the quality of education.

To sum up, teacher is the most significant part of education, and increasing their salaries will sufficiently improve the quality of education. (This conclusion is entirely different from your question.)

总结：

总体很不错，只是最后让步的部分比较弱..另外结论段完全不扣题请注意一下。

rain_deerUID：3048091

5.4独立修改

qianhuangUID：2766587

5月6日 综合

qianhuangUID：2766587

5月6日 独立Do you agree or disagree that the governments should focus more on the preserving the natural environments, less on the economic developments

问题：我在写作文的时候，持续纠结着government用什么冠词，要不要冠词

hyliu1-08UID：3063421

5月6日 综合改

892524570UID：2975104

5月6日作文批改

qfaithUID：2657846

5.6 综合

qianhuangUID：2766587

5月7日 独立 Should children spend most time playing andstudying or required to help the family with household chores like cooking andcleaning?

qianhuangUID：2766587

5月7日 综合