hyliu1-08 作文

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6月6日独立

乐之好好考托福UID: 3092078

6.6的独立已经给楼主发到QQ邮箱上了，注意查收~。】

6.5的明天放学后晚点帮楼主修改哦~

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6月7日 综合

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6月7日  独立

hyliu1-08UID: 3063421

6月9日 独立

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35# hyliu1-08

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6月10日 TPO19 综合

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6月11日 独立

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sorry 下不下你的作文

zhengxiao0312UID: 3099700

嗯？？ 你的作文呢？15号的

mpromanusUID: 2565872

35# hyliu1-08

In order to be well-informed, a person gets information from many different news sources.

In the information age (There are no other ‘information ages’, so there is really no ‘this’ or ‘that’ information age. Now that’s quite obviously an influence from the Chinese expression 在这个信息时代..), we can get information from a considerable number of new sources (The question says ‘news sources’. ‘New’ is very different from ‘news’. Please make sure you’re writing the correct word.), such as through the Internet, the television and the telephone (This use of ‘the’ means an abstract idea of ‘television’ or ‘telephone’, that doesn’t mean any particular physical TV set or telephone but in essence represents all TVs or telephones.). And our life almost could not (If you say ‘almost could not’ – particularly with the ‘not’, do note – it essentially means it still ‘could’. A very borderline ‘could’ that is almost ‘could not’, but still not a ‘could not’. But what you actually want to express here, I suspect, is ‘could not’.) function well without these equipments. All this is to say that our life could not leave news (Direct translation of 我们的生活不能离开新闻..this should be ‘we cannot do without news in our lives’. Plus, what does the importance of news have to do with being well-informed..? This doesn’t mean you can’t talk about the importance of news. You need to be talking about the importance of news with a good relevance to the entire question. What you did here, and what many Chinese students tend to do, is to stuff the essay with statements that are only relevant to one single keyword in the entire question. This kind of seemingly important but effectively irrelevant background information is mostly useless if you can’t make it relevant to the entire question.). And with the passage of time, more and more new sources of information can be utilized by us. From my perspective, I absolutely agree with the view that various information can make a man well-informed. Such reasons (Why ‘such reasons’? If you say ‘such reasons’, it means you were talking about some ‘reasons’ before this..but you were not.) go as follow.

Firstly, we cannot be sure which news are correct (‘Correct’ means conforming to KNOWN truth, or conventional standards – for example, you’d say your son’s answer to a maths question is ‘correct’, or that his behavior is ‘correct’, or that his understanding of gravity is ‘correct’. For news – where the truth is sometimes, if not often, unknown – you’d more often describe it as ‘true’ or ‘accurate’, but less often ‘correct’.) in our daily life, because there is an enormous amounts of information from various media organizations; they all hold their own ideas about one thing (What ‘thing’ is ‘one thing’? Be specific.), so their views only can reflect one aspect of an incident. If we want to discern whether one scene (Why ‘scene’? You are talking about ‘news’..not all news are transmitted with graphics and/or videos, so not all news have ‘scenes’..) whether is true or not, we'd better to take several sources of news to contrast (You mean ‘compare’?), then conclude with a reasonable consequence. For example, there are some people who believe that the news we get from our TVs in China is always right, but the fact is information from our television in our country has been modified by some people (If you talk about purposeful manipulation of information such as censoring, then know that every country in the world does it, more or less. It’s only a matter of extent, degree and sophistication. You’d probably meet more people in the US who think that Fox News is always right..). So, if we want to achieve the true aspect of one scene (I can’t guess what you are trying to express, not even in Chinese..), we should take messages from different organizations.

Second, there is a saying that "one person could not see all phenomena.", and I believe in this sentence too. We could not get enough information from only one source of news, because there are always some details the medial organization has not mentioned, but occasionally the details are of importance to this piece of information. May be that organization was restrained by the government or some principles. But, as a citizens we have the right to realize the truth of one thing (Again, what ‘thing’ is this ‘one thing’? You could at least used ‘something’..but even that is rather meaningless. When you start to use very vague words like ‘thing’ in the essay, it’s a clear sign that you don’t really know what you are talking about..). (And, then, how is this different from the last paragraph where you talk about truth in news, modifications, blah? Seems to be talking about a very similar scenario – news from a single agency may not be the truth, or the entire truth.)So, in order to achieve this aim, we should take information from various news sources.

Finally, while living in this competitive world, every person faces the problem of choosing one source or several sources as his or her informational channel (Oh..but why would this be a *problem*? If you are happy with one source, choose one; if not, choose several, or not at all. What is problematic about that?). In my mind, I am appreciate more the latter one more, given reasons I have outlined. There is much useful news in this competitive world, however succeeding in such a competitive world is seldom achieved by one if he or she receives information only via one way (‘via one way’ doesn’t necessarily mean ‘from one source’. Google News is a way to read headlines of all major news websites..so does that count as one source, or several sources? Plus, the question is not about being successful in the competitive world whatsoever. It’s about being well-informed.).

总结：

你的遣词造句都很受中文的影响，所以请多读真正的英语文章积累表达。。

另外就是，看不出两个分论点之间有神马区别（好吧实际上我都不确定你的分论点是什么。。），最后一段总结直接跑题
– well-informed和当今世界是竞争激烈的世界同学们要想成功就必须全面发展之类之类的大套话有个神马关系呢。。

hyliu1-08UID: 3063421

6月16日  综合

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6月17日 独立

yuchenzUID: 2990824

In the lecture, the professor states several opposite ideasabout the question（你后面跟的是一个陈述句，而不是一个question，我觉得如果你非要用question的话，还是改成the question whether the female in the picture is Jan or not会好些） that the female in the pictuer(picture)
is Jane Austen claimed in the readingpassage. Altough, the reading passage shows(provide) some evidence to its statement.


Firstly, the professor points that it is a hard work todefine this portrait is drown for Ansten（这个句子的主语在哪里？to define sth. 然后后面this portrait is drown for Ansten是一个句子）, because there is long time from theAnsten family member show this pictuer to Ansten's death（because it has been a long time since the Ansten family）. However the readingpassage claims that Ansten's family gave permission to utilize(give permission to sb.但是这里的utilize是个动词) the portrait asan illustration in an edition to clarify the picture is true.

Secondly, the professor also says a contrary opinion to thestatement which the passage claims that this image is like author sketch ofAnusten, The professor points that the one who drawn this picture also can（can also要到过来用） useother members of Austen family
as amodel. So, the reading passage claims that the major of this picture has manypersonal features are like Austen,（你是不是贴错版本了，好像没写完）

Finally, the professor points that Ozlas Humphrey, a painterof Austen family, would have no chance to draw for *****. because he just wantto make money.
不好意思最后一个反面观点没听清。(你怎么就不多听几次呢？这个原文也可以找得到的呀。)

yuchenzUID: 2990824

43# hyliu1-08 Different people have different views on whether one move(moving) to a fresh city is a wise choice or not. Some persons believe that moving to anew city means losing contact with their old friends, while others hold theideas that turning to a new city indicates new opportunities and new friends.From my point of view, I appreciate more(用prefer吧) the latter point, because if I decideto move to a new town, I can not only do what I plan to do such as finding（用getting或者seeking吧） opportunities and achieving new challenges, but also make new friends from（in） newareas. All this is not to say I will sever the connection between my old friends. Such reasons go as follows.

Firstly, we cannot only realize that one coin simply (merely only) has one side,because there are many aspects of oneincident should been taken into our consideration. For instance, if we only resort the point of losing the contactwith old friends to define a remove is bad, I think this idea is too arbitrary.There are a considerable number of advantages waiting for us in a new city,even though we may sometimes feel lonely without friends support, but just dueto this circumstance, we can mature（become mature） step by step and become more and more independent and confident.(这个句子太长了！！) Obviously,there are also lots of obstacles waiting for us, but in my mind, these barriersonly can be staircase on our forward road.

Secondly, there is no doubt that when we step into a newplace we will meet many fresh faces. Withthe passage of time, these fresh faces mostly become our acquaintances. Forexample, there is one citizen remove into a new town because of work. May bewhen he move into this town he nearly is not familiar with anyone（he is hardly familiar with anyone or he is almost familiar nobody，很重要的是副词要放在is的后面）, however hehave to buy something that is essential for his life, then he will connect withthe owner of the store,（这些地方完全可以分成几个句子） after several times, he may make friends with theowner. And the citizen also can make many new friends via working, afterseveral months, he will have a new friend circle. Another I want to say is thatthe citizen also (moreover) can keepin touch with his old friends. All this is to say that the citizen can havemore friends than before after he moves into（to） a new area.

Admittedly, we will feel lonely when we move to a newplace at first. But only that feeling can let us become independent andconfident, and help us make the decision to make new friends. Add（add是动词，至少应该用adding） to our oldfriends we will benefit from this experience because we will get morefriendship.


Hope Help.