xiangtuo的作文帖~~

Monitor2011UID: 3119316

TPO9& b2 j  X: M7 |# s. \
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past.

In this contemporary era, with the advancement of the science and technology, our way of lives have changed a lot from before and our daily lives are filled with technology. However, the use of technology has sparked a widespread controversy. Someone points out that technology has made children less creative than they were in the past. I agree with this point with my own ideas.
First of all, the wide use of high-tech machines may have great impact on children’s basic abilities like reading or and accounting which are the basis of creative creativeness. Nowadays, more and more study computers for children are invented which contain a large amount of functions. It may bring convenience to students as they don’t need to write, just click on the mouse. However, as the result of that, the abilities of writing or and accounting may reduce, which may directly impact the children’s creativity. No one could deny the idea that creative creativeness cannot be built on poor basis.2 n7 ]: C$ j3 k$ N* W
Furthermore, the use of technology may decrease the frequency of using brain. As too much functions provided by the high-tech machines, students don’t need to use their brain, just read or do as the machine says. Keeping doing in that way for a long period of time, their brain would not be as active as before. Under no circumstance could ability of creative developed in this situation. Hence they couldn’t be as creative as they were in the past. 感觉这一段说的内容和上一段重复，个人认为可以合并成一段。
Moreover, children may be dependent on technology and would not like to think. They would not love to take a lot of brain to think if technological machine has told them what to do and how to do. Had Newton not figured out the reason why the apple would fall, he would not have discovered the law of gravity. As the same, had children not thought of what and why, they would not have developed the ability of creative creativeness.
In a nut shell, technology do has does have made children less creative than they were in the past as the lack of basis, shortage of using brain and too much dependence.

观点还是清晰的，只是语法上有些错误。我也不怎么会修改，共同进步吧。

xiangtuoUID: 3047550

7月3号的~~

冰雪蜂鸟UID: 2754485

48# xiangtuo

大概的看了一下楼主在48楼的文章（关于应该给小孩教育投资还是大学教育投资），我认为是非常中规中矩的一篇文章。总体来说很不错的！
有一两个语法问题，比如第二段第一句，“Youngchildren, primary school students, who just start their study, need more focusof every aspect, including budget support.”句号太多，分不清哪个是橘子主干，哪个是插入语，哪个是从句。
还有一个原因我不想写两个都好，是我不知道应该如何构建文章。楼主写的是四段式，第二段全部写资助小孩的好，第三段全部写资助大学生的好。我一开始想写五段，每一段都从一个方面写两个方面的好，但是对比这就发现写不下去了。。。。
我个人认为楼主的文章还有一点小小的欠缺就是，小观点多但是每一个观点都没有深入，例子比较少。所以给人有些空泛的感觉。
个人意见，继续讨论哈~

xiangtuoUID: 3047550

TPO10 综合
The reading passage and the listening material both discuss the topic of the reason of the rapid decline of sea otters. The author believes that the pollution hypothesis seemed more likely while the speaker think it was caused by predators.
First of all, the passage contends that the chemical pollution along the coast cause they decline. In contrast, the lecturer argues that there was no died sea otters on the coast in fact as it’s eaten immediately If an otter is killed by a predator, which directly contradicts the viewpoint made in the passage.
Secondly, according to the reading passage, other sea mammals also declined as the result of pollution. On the contrary, the professor in the lecture casts doubt on the viewpoint by saying that the orcas have no food to survival but to hunt sea mammal like sea otters. What are demonstrated in the listening completely contradict what the reading passage indicates.
Finally, the reading passage holds the opinion that the uneven pattern of otter decline as the pollution hypothesis by ocean currents. Nevertheless, this is also challenged by the speaker. She thinks that the result of whether the sea otters decline or not depends on their location accessible to orca or not. The remained otters are because they locate in shallow and rocky area where the orca couldn't be access. In this way, the professor refutes the reading material.

xiangtuoUID: 3047550

独立
Do you agree with the following statement? People holding different views cannot achieve success as a team.

In this contemporary era, with the advancement of the society, more and more people realize the importance of a team. As the result of that, more and more people would love to achieve success as a team. However, someone argues that people holding different views in a team cannot achieve success in the end. I don't agree with that with my own points.
Admittedly, people holding different opinions in a team may impact the monolithic solidarity of their team. But that could be overcomed under the influence of leaderships. And actually, that brings more benefits than harm.
In reality, they would get a comprehensive viewpoint from the controversy of the different ideas. The reason why team members would hold different viewpoints is that they consider the same question from the diverse aspect. If they could combine the different point and obtain a perfect one, they may achieve the success more effectively. Just as my team. We always hold the opposite points, but our leader would absorb the advantages from the two points and achieve a better one. That's the key of the success of our team.
Moreover, the team would success because its members are active enough as they are willing to think. No one could deny that the activity plays a vital role in a successful team. Only if the members are willing to and dare to figure out different views could the team really advance towards success. Had the team of Einstein not been active enough, they would not have discovered the theory of relativity.
In a nut shell, people hold different views could achieve success as the members Unified leadership, thinking comprehensively and being active enough.

应小呆UID: 3109940

第一次改作文，如有不对，还请海涵O(∩_∩)O~
TPO10 综合) D8 A8 B0 ?! s8 U1 g, |
The reading passage and the listening material both discuss the topic of the reason of the rapid decline of sea otters.（我觉得这里of用的有点太多了，我觉得可以改成这样The lecturer talks about why the sea otters suffer a rapid decline,whose opinion contrast the writer's） The author believes that the pollution hypothesis seemed more likely(改为seem to have more possibilities如何？因为我记得likely好像一般不做表语的，而且这样可以增加字数==),while the speaker think it was caused by predators.

First of all, the passage contends that the chemical pollution along the coast causes(cause对应的chemical pollution 是不可数的) they（没有先行词？用所有格？改为sea otters'?） decline. In contrast, the lecturer argues that there was（时态？） no died sea otters on the coast in fact as it’s(前面sea otters是复数) eaten immediately If an otter is killed by a predator, which directly contradicts the viewpoint made in the passage.（这句话的句子结构有些混乱，改成这样会不会清晰一点呢？In contrast,the lecturer argues that there are no died sea otters on the coast. This fact suggests they be killed by their predator, wich directly contradicts the viewpoint made in the passage ）

Secondly, according to the reading passage, other sea mammals also declined as the result of pollution. On the contrary, the professor in the lecture casts doubt on the viewpoint by saying that the orcas have no food to survival but to hunt sea mammal like sea otters. What are(is) demonstrated in the listening completely contradicts what the reading passage indicates.* d8 E6 A8 u+ V) }3 z

Finally, the writer of the (因为passage没办法hold opinion, 一己之见)reading passage holds the opinion that the uneven pattern of otter decline as the result of the pollution hypothesis by ocean currents. Nevertheless, this is also challenged by the speaker. She thinks that the result of whether the number of sea otters declines or not depends on their location accessible to orca or not. The remained otters are because (the reason why some sea otters are remaine is that) they locate in shallow and rocky area where the orca couldn't be access. In this way, the professor refutes the reading material.


喵，豆包酱听力很好呢，说实话最后那个理由我根本就没弄清楚在说什么，只好生编硬造......
而且豆包酱的连词用的很好~我是不会用连词君==要向豆包同学学习~

应小呆UID: 3109940

欢迎来改我的作文~
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1280678-1-1.html

Do you agree with the following statement? People holding different views cannot achieve success as a team.

In this contemporary era（this 和 contemporary 意思重复了）, with the advancement of the society, more and more people realize the importance of a team（of teamwork?）. As the result of that, more and more people would love to achieve success as a team. However, someone argues that people holding different views in a team cannot achieve success in the end. I don't agree with that with my own points.

Admittedly, people holding different opinions in a team may impact the monolithic solidarity of their team. But that could be overcomed under(by?否则逻辑上that没有主语了) the influence of leaderships. And actually, that（指代不明） brings more benefits than harm. * w1 V. Q1 T( _

In reality, they would get a comprehensive viewpoint from the controversy（从词义上来说不太恰当呢） of the （不明白为什么要特指）different ideas. The reason why team members would hold different viewpoints is that they consider the same question from the（为什么要特指？） diverse aspects（因为diverse各种各样的，所以一定不是一种）. If they could combine the different points（different 应该不止有一个，只有一个就是same了） and obtain a perfect one, they may achieve the（为什么要特指？） success more effectively. Just as my team. We always hold the opposite points, but our leader would absorb the advantages from the two points and achieve a better one. That's the key of the success of our team.

Moreover, the（a?因为这里讨论的是泛指意义上的team不是某一个） team would success because its members are active enough as they are willing to think（are active enough to be willing to think?我觉得这样更地道些~）. No one could deny that the activity plays a vital role in a successful team. Only if the members are willing to and dare to figure out（figure out 的意思主要是算出、想出、解决不知道豆包用的是哪一个，不太明白这句话的意思喵。 但是 only if 的倒装句用的很好~我得记下来~） different views could the team really advance towards success. Had the team of Einstein not been active enough, they would not have discovered the theory of relativity. （不是爱因斯坦一个人发现的？）

/ J8 {% Y7 q% y' T;
Z
In a nut shell, people hold different views could achieve success as the members Unified leadership（不太明白，是不是 as the members of a team under a unified leadership?）, thinking comprehensively and being active enough.（不太明白什么意思？）

豆包你似乎对the有种不可抑制的执念呢，O(∩_∩)O~

xiangtuoUID: 3047550

豆包归来~7.9一战后重整旗鼓准备二战！
发帖纪念~

xiangtuoUID: 3047550

7.18 独立~
好久不写 手都生疏了~拜托了！

超级猴子UID: 3023123

In this contemporary era, with the advancement of the society, more and more people realize the importance of teamwork. As the result of that, people would like to achieve success as a team. However, a widespread controversy has been sparked. Someone believes that those who do not accept others' criticism cannot succeed in a team while someone argues versus. As far as I am concerned, I agree with the former with my own idea.（模板感觉太重）
As we all know, to succeed, perfect job should be done; a little mistake and fault may lead to a disaster. Just as the destroy of the Challenger, a mistake of radix point bring the explosion of the spacecraft. Others' criticism directly indicates that you make mistakes or get something wrong, and then you should find it and solve it; or I can safely get the conclusion that success couldn't be achieved.（这个例子挺好的）
Furthermore, (加一句不接受别人批评的人会被别人厌恶而得不到支持，这样才显得连贯，一个those people让人云里雾里的)others will lose heart to those people and won't help them if they are in trouble. No one could deny that the reason why team is composed is that team members can help each other forward. Consequently, one may lose the support from the other members and be isolated and solitary if others are disappointed to him. There is rarely success in evil things like this in human history.
Moreover, the people don't accept others' criticism is usually overweening who is hardly to make a hit. There have been countless examples throughout the history. Had the Hitler not been headstrong and self opinionated, his domination would not have been smashed. Hitler was a military genius but his vanity(我查字典了，overweening就是一个形容词，没有动名词) is the heel of Achilles to success. So, as far as I am concerned, the people don't accept others' criticism is hardly to achieve success.
In a nut shell, those who don't accept others' criticism in a team cannot succeed in the end for the three main reasons, the barrier of mistakes, the lack of others’ support and the disadvantage of personality.
互助互助，共同进步

永动鸡UID: 3006486

7.18
Do you agree with the following statement? In a team, those who do not accept others' criticism cannot succeed.

In this contemporary era, with the advancement of the society, more and more people realize the importance of teamwork. As the result of that, people would like to achieve success as a team. However, a widespread controversy has been sparked. Someone believes that those who do not accept others' criticism cannot succeed in a team while someone argues versus. As far as I am concerned, I agree with the former (记得中学老师说 the +形容词表示一类人。语法没问题，但是放在这里语义有点问题；个人认为在former 后面加上view更妥)with my own idea.
As we all know, to succeed, perfect job should be done; a little mistake and fault may lead to a disaster. Just as the destroy of the Challenger, a mistake of radix point bring the explosion of the spacecraft. Others' criticism directly indicates that you make mistakes or get something wrong, and then you should find it and solve it; or I can safely get the conclusion that success couldn't be achieved.
Furthermore, others will lose heart to those people（指哪些人？） and won't help them if they are in trouble. No one could deny that the reason why team is composed is that team members can help each other forward. Consequently, one may lose the support from the other members and be isolated and solitary if others are disappointed to him.（意思能明白，但感觉有点生硬。） There is rarely success in evil things like this in human history.
Moreover, the people don't accept others' criticism is usually overweening who is hardly to make a hit. There have been countless examples throughout the history. Had the Hitler not been headstrong and self opinionated, his domination would not have been smashed. Hitler was a military genius but his overweening is the heel of Achilles to success.（这个例子有点问题：假如希特勒不自负，那他能获得成功？他的成功是什么？侵略成功？
这样说逻辑没问题，但不符合情理，最好举些正面的例子。） So, as far as I am concerned, the people don't accept others' criticism is hardly to achieve success.
In a nut shell, those who don't accept others' criticism in a team cannot succeed in the end for the three main reasons（还是断一下句子吧，写好长句的难度其实很大的，如果硬是接些句子，不仅结构复杂、而且不直观。Those who don’t accept other’s criticism in a team can hardly be successful, which could be explained mianly from three reasons:）, the barrier of mistakes, the process without others’ support and the disadvantage of personality.

抱歉，前一阵子在忙其他事，回复得晚了。
以上评论纯属个人观点。有则改之，无则加勉。

xiangtuoUID: 3047550

还有一个月就考试了！加油！！

xiangtuoUID: 3047550

10.19 独立！

香草鱼UID: 3125484

10月19日 作文修改
1019xiangtuo(我爱豆包).doc (29 KB, 下载次数: 4)

2011-10-19 23:44:53 上传

下载次数: 4

xiangtuoUID: 3047550

10.20 独立~