[daily writing]愤怒公爵的作文主题帖，新手

lyn7981UID: 2758158

8.6独立 Annie修改稿
你的题目是不是写错了？不是8.6的耶.....

也来帮我改一下作文吧~https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1284659-3-1.html，谢谢~

草莓刨冰UID: 3141036

In the modern society, there are many kinds of media. But two of them have greater effects to the people than other------printed books and TV. However, which of them has a greater effect is a doubtable problem. From my point of view, printed books have more advantages that cannot be replaced. And they have
are greater effects. Because they are easily to be saved for a long time, can be received in more conditions, and they can include certain points that can be remembered by most people.

One thing that is important to say is the
that books are easily to save. Printed books, which can be put into any places, have a great advantage. They can be kept for many years. Now people can even find the books that have existed for thousands of years. However, most of the TV shows are temporary. The audio data can be only saved for several years or decades. The video made several decades before is hardly to be seen now. In these cases, the books can have a longer effect to the people. That is to say they are greater effects. (这个论点个人认为有点牵强。因为电子类的东西要比实物保存时间更长吧。可以说book保存的方法比较简单，就放着就行了。电子类的需要有硬件设备啥的，比较麻烦。)

Another point which illustrates my opinion is that the book is simple to be read. People who want to read a book only needs a strong enough light to clarify
lighten the characters or the picture of the book. On the other hand(前面要有个on one hand对应), Besides, the TV needs a strict condition, it
which is the electricity. If the place hasn’t got the electricity, the TV show cannot be seen. So in the places such as desert, wild place, deep forest, or
under the sea, the TV signal cannot be received there. But the books can be seen there in contrast. In addition, the TV programs which could be seen also need a TV screen
set and signals. So the TV cannot be spread as wildly as the book. The books have a larger effect.

Finally, books have a unique advantage that they have less information which seems to be a disadvantage but actually hard to be replaced.the books have fewer less information, it which seems to be a disadvantage. On the contrary, it is an unique advantage that hardly be replaced.
To most people, they can see many things, but in most cases, they cannot remember most of them. TV program, which contain a lot of information are more probable to be forgot. But the book has information that is suitable for human. And the book can be reviewed many times. So it can have a deeper impression to the people.

To sum up, the book is easily to read and saved for a long time. So it can be propagates longer and wider than TV.
Therefore, printed books are greater effects on the society than TV has.

简单句有点多，建议可以将两三个简单句合为高级复杂句。
分论点感觉有一点点牵强，建议再往深了思考一下。

落落婧UID: 2761817

麻烦改下作文咯~8.6独立哈~~求狂拍~
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... xtra=#pid1775420346

likejin2012UID: 2847537

27# 愤怒公爵

落落婧UID: 2761817

愤怒公爵你是不是写错了题目啊~貌似不是8 6的饿~

bill5865UID: 3109557

追风的修改：

愤怒公爵UID: 2929648

愤怒公爵你是不是写错了题目啊~貌似不是8 6的饿~
落落婧 发表于 2011-8-7 16:43

楼主临时改的作文题目，让我也很难受~
现在我的语法好一点了，不过，我的文章面临着巨大的改革，
加油！

愤怒公爵UID: 2929648

8月8日独立+综合

希望这次寂静能给力一点

愤怒公爵UID: 2929648

8月9日 独立+综合，这回我大改革了··

foreverendlessUID: 3134774

Inthe lecture the professor made several points about whether the dinosaurs wereendotherms. The reading contends that the dinosaurs were endotherms. However,the professor argues that the dinosaurs were not endotherms. The professorcasts doubt on the reading by using a number of contradicted points.




Thefirst point that the professor uses to cast doubt on the reading is about thepolar fossils. According to the reading, there are fossils found in the polarregion where only the endogherms can live. It proofed (proved) that the dinosaurs areendotherms. It is differ from the professor. The professor said even the polarregions are warmer that it is today and it is good for dinosaurs to live. Thedinosaurs can also migrate to another place when the winter is (coming) cooler.


Second,the reading states that the leg position under the body is a character forendotherms. However, the professor claimed that the leg position of the dinosaursis used to support their big size. Not to use energy to maintain the temperature (It doesn't use energy to ...或者逗号成分句).


Finally,the passage offered that the dinosaurs have a kind of bone structure calledHaversian canals which is only found in endotherms. On the contrary, theprofessor states that even the dinosaurs have that structure, they also havegrowth rings. It suggested that the dinosaurs will stop growing when theweather is coming cooler. It is different from the endotherms that keep growingat any time.


Inconclusion, the points made in the lecture totally contrast with the reading.

julijoneUID: 2843727

独立改好了

happinessviviUID: 2837177

搞定！

happinessviviUID: 2837177

继续加油：D

愤怒公爵UID: 2929648

谢谢楼上批改，我的基本问题还是没有太大改善，后面应该更认真。

愤怒公爵UID: 2929648

8月10日，愤怒公爵综合独立，见附件