[daily writing]愤怒公爵的作文主题帖，新手

qnwh2011UID: 3148380

8月9日综合
In the lecture, the professor made several points about the use of great houses of the Chaco Canyon. The reading contends that there are three possible uses. However, the professor argues that all of them are incorrect. The professor’s lecture cast doubt on the reading by using a number of contradicted points.(第一句和第二句的时态不一致)

The first point that the professor uses to cast doubt on the reading is that the houses may be used for residential. According to the reading, the great houses are used to live by hundreds of people. It is different from the professor’s speech that there are not enough fireplaces that can support hundreds of people. Another place for resident uses one place to support 10 families. It is too few.

Second, the reading states that the place may be used to store the maize. However, the professor claimed that there are not maize and containers left in the houses. If it is used to store such things, there must be some maize and containers left.

Finally, the reading offered another possible value that it may be used for ceremony. On the contrary the lecture states that most ceremonial places have a lot of building material such as wood and sand, but there are no such things. And the pot cannot be proved to be used in ceremony.

In conclusion, the points made in the lecture totally contrast with the reading.

Comments：建议作者在听听力部分的时候多做一些要点笔记，这样就会使你的综合作文锦上添花。

lisq9989UID: 2110509

改好了，多听多听，哈哈，加油
8.10愤怒公爵 综合 放飞的小鸟修改.doc (28.5 KB, 下载次数: 1)

2011-8-11 08:56:10 上传

下载次数: 1

tom_cybamicUID: 2475644

独立改好啦。麻烦帮我改下。呵呵

愤怒公爵UID: 2929648

8月11日  独立

愤怒公爵UID: 2929648

谢谢小鸟修改，我的听力几天不练，问题就出来了~

bill5865UID: 3109557

8月10日的，不好意思，传晚了，最近事情比较杂

愤怒公爵UID: 2929648

8月12日综合
独立前几天就写过了~~~

冰雪蜂鸟UID: 2754485

加油

pirateasyUID: 3133642

抱歉，我权限不够发附件~~贴这里没有甚么问题吧~~
8月12日，综合

In the lecture, the professor made several points about if the US wood companies will seek for the ecocertification. The professor argues that the US companies will try to find the certification. However, the reading contends that the companies won’t try to find it. The professor’s lecture casts doubt on the reading by using a number of contradicted points.

The first point that the professor uses to cast doubt on the reading is that whether the consumers would pay attention to it. According to the reading, the American consumers are exposed to the advertisements so much that they don’t want to pay much attention on it. It is different from the reading that the consumers will pay attentions to them. They have their own ideas to distinguish them. And they are more likely to buy the wood that has a certification of an independent agency.

Second, the reading says that the cost of getting the certification will lead to the increase of the prize that affects the market. However, the professor claimed （claims, 时态和上文保持一致）that the consumers will pay the attention to the prize（price） when the difference is too big. If the difference is smaller than 5 percent, they won’t care much about them.

Finally, the reading states that the most US companies which is (are) selling wood only (sell the wood这句累赘了些，不要吧) in the country. They don’t need to care about the international market（阅读并没说只在国内卖，也没讲到他们不想进军国际市场~）. On the contrary the professor says the companies do not pay attention to the export but to the competition. The foreign company which has (companies which have和后文的they will…保持一致) a certification will get advantages （by acquiring the certifications 这句也是和前文在语意上重复，可以写for American consumers）. So they will obtain more market（. It threatened 改为which will threaten 可能比较好~）the US wood companies.

In conclusion, the points made in the lecture totally contrast with the reading.

callmecUID: 3150809

原来附件要权限。。。

愤怒公爵UID: 2929648

54# pirateasy

回复，谢谢，我竟然在文章中加入了个人情感，不应该~

愤怒公爵UID: 2929648

8月13日，独立+综合

carol0607UID: 3022610

那个 ，我也挺不好意思的 我昨晚上才写TPO7 本想写完了再给你改，结果听力听的一塌糊涂。都没弄明白咋回事，我还是看你的文章才把逻辑给理顺的，惭愧惭愧……

moonlightlaneUID: 2764105

居然发不了附件。。。贴在这里你看吧~~~另外欢迎回改哦~~~~

内容没怎么改，主要改了下语言，希望有帮助~~


8月12日，综合

In the lecture, the professor made several points about if(这里好像应该用whether吧) the US wood companies will seek for the ecocertification. The professor argues that the US companies will try to find the certification. However, the reading contends that the companies won’t try to find it. The professor’s lecture casts doubt on the reading by using a number of contradicted points.（我觉得你可以考虑variety of words 替换points，比如arguments, contentions, statements, views, ideas等等，也可以用counterargument 替换contradicted points）

The first point that the professor uses to cast doubt on the reading（换成contradicts the author会不会更好呢，避免重复） is that whether the consumers would pay attention to it. According to the reading（reading也有很多次可以替换的，比如passage, article等，也可以直接用writer，author来代指文章。个人认为a variety of words比较好~）, the American consumers are exposed to the advertisements so much that they don’t want to pay much attention on（to） it. It is different from the reading that the consumers will pay attentions to them.（我觉得如果这里能用上一个表示强烈转折的单词会更好~比如这样：however the author states differently that…..） They have their own ideas to distinguish them. And they are more likely to buy the wood that has a certification of an independent agency.(这两句可以考虑用not only but also 合并为长句)

Secondly, the reading says(argues) that the cost of getting the certification will lead to the increase of the prize that(个人认为which will 会更好) affects the market. However, the professor（这里可以把however，on the other hand等短语放在主语后面做插入语：the professor, however/on the other hand, claims that，这样显得句式多样~） claimed that the consumers will pay the（删掉这个词） attention to the prize when the difference is too big. If the difference is smaller than 5 percent, they won’t care much about them（这个them指什么？是price吧，那么应该用单数，而且这里的them指代可能会和主语的they弄混淆）.

Finally, the reading states that the most US companies which is（主谓不一致哦，直接说 which sell wood更好吧~） selling wood only sell the wood in the country（这一整句有重复哦，和后面一句合并，直接改成：…states that most US companies only sell wood in their own countries and don’t need to care about the international market.）. They don’t need to care about the international market. On the contrary（还可以说by contrast。可以在其他地方用这个短语，你的on the contrary已经很好了，主要是避免重复） the professor says(尽量不要用say吧，换别的高级单词，contend， argue，strongly hold，maintain，disagree，assert，rebut啥的。。记忆些高级词，考试的时候想起那些就用那些) the companies do not pay attention to the export but to the competition. The foreign company which has a certification will get advantages by acquiring the certifications. So they will obtain more market. It threatened the US wood companies.（so they will obtain more market, which threatens the US wood companies.写长句方法：多用which引导的非限制定语从句）

carol0607UID: 3022610

综合  改