【NINE小组】第七次作业—by me

gengshuUID：3012360

The speaker asserts that educators should assess the students' learning on the ability to explain the ideas, trends, and concepts that those facts illustrate not on students' grasp of facts. In my view, this statement is too absolute. The educators assess the students learning on which aspect depend on the disciplines or the content the students learn .The speaker's opinion does not suitable for all conditions.

When the students of art learn the course about the prominent painter's works .It is hard to imagine the teacher just demand students to recite the fact or the details of the pictures. This rote memorization just exercises students' memory and they can comprehend little about the artist's real thought .On the country teachers should recommend the artist's ideas and the trend of art of the artist's period .Without understanding the Picasso's ideas of arts ,the students cannot really comprehend his unthinkable creativity .Without knowing the Beethoven's life ,the students cannot understand the intension of each music. That is why just remember the facts is useless and inefficiency.

But sometimes, without the large number of fact, the student's will bewildered and confused about the ideas, trends or concepts .For instance, when students learn history, they should first recite a lot of events and the period of each events. Then they will have entire concept to the history. If they can connect these events by times ，the trends of this period will be clear without learning. That is why people say accumulation is so significant that when we know more facts , it will connect each other naturally .That is why we cannot ignore the importance of the facts in some cases.

Besides, when we study some disciplines such as physics ,we should learn the fact and the idea or concept at same time . For the facts is easier to understand ,we can conduct some experiments and remember the fact or formula first so that we can resolve the practical questions. Then learn the ideas or concepts of the facts which can help us remember the fact easily and use it flexible. That means it is better to connect the facts and ideas or concepts in sometimes. Without each part ,the knowledge will be not entire which will have bad effect to understand and apply of it.

Although grasp the ideas trends or concepts do important than just grasp the fact in sometime .the speaker is too hasty to convince that it can suit to all the conditions for teachers to assess a students. On the contrary, the teachers of different disciplines should have different standard to assess their students.

gengshuUID：3012360

怎么一发格式就不对了。。。

amber_cUID：3131341

The speaker asserts that educators should assess the students' learning on the ability to explain the ideas, trends, and concepts that those facts illustrate not on students' grasp of facts. In my view, this statement is too absolute（用extreme,会不会合适一点？）. The educators assess the students learning on which aspect depend on the disciplines or the content the students learn .（病句）The speaker's opinion does（is）not suitable for all conditions（个人觉得用circumstances或situations，会恰当一点）.
第一段明确摆出观点——题目太绝对，不适用所有情况。
When the students of art learn the course about the prominent painter's （painters’）works .(,)It(it) is hard to imagine the teacher just demand students to recite the fact or the details of the pictures. This rote memorization just exercises students' memory and they can comprehend little about(记得comprehend 后面不用接介词的) the artist's real thought .On the country （是要说On the contrary吗？）teachers should recommend the artist's ideas and the trend of art of the artist's period .Without understanding the Picasso's ideas of arts，the students cannot really comprehend his unthinkable creativity .Without knowing the Beethoven's life （写到life，感觉偏题了）,the students cannot understand the intension of each music（each piece of music？）. That is why just remember（remembering） the facts is useless and inefficiency.
第二段都在举例子，可惜没有分析和论点，比较unpersuasive。缺乏逻辑性，例如理解ideas, trends and concepts是为了全面透彻地理解，而透彻的理解是为了应用还是其他什么的？这样起码有个观点，也有点逻辑。
But sometimes, without the large number of facts, the student's（students） will （be）bewildered and confused about the ideas, trends or concepts .For instance, when students learn history, they should first recite a lot of events and the period of each events. Then they will have entire concept to (of)the history. If they can connect these events by times(time) ，the trends of this period will be clear without learning. That is why people say accumulation is so significant that when we know more facts， it will connect each other naturally .（病句。把两句话合并了）That is why we cannot ignore the importance of the facts in some cases.（句式重复了，也模糊了要表达的意思）
这一段是想写在某些情况下不能忽略facts。但和上一段一样，没有明确提出分论点。感觉就是一直在举例子。history的例子，挺好的。
Besides, when we study some disciplines such as physics， we should learn the fact and the idea or concept at same time . For the facts is easier to understand(be understood)，we can conduct some experiments and remember the fact or formula first so that we can resolve the practical questions.(前面几句话的逻辑好像有点问题。) Then learn the ideas or concepts of the facts which can help us remember the fact easily and use it flexible（flexibly）. That means it is better to connect the facts and ideas or concepts in (去掉)sometimes. Without each part （是不是可以改成缺失了任何一部分？）,the knowledge will be not entire which will have bad effect to understand and apply of it（cause certain difficulties in being understood and applied）.
可能作者有先摆例子的习惯，所以这一段还是先写了例子。三段是按照不同的情况来分类的。
Although grasp（of） the ideas trends or concepts do（is more） important than just grasp(of) the fact in sometime (under some circumstances),the speaker is too hasty to convince(conclude?) that it can suit to all the conditions for teachers to assess a students(student). On the contrary, the teachers of different disciplines should have different standards to assess their students.
得出结论：不同学科的老师应该有不同的评价标准。个人觉得这个观点是可以写的。看完全篇，论点还是比较明确的，只是没有明确提出。
纯属个人观点，不当之处还请见谅指正！
加油加油~

gengshuUID：3012360

谢谢指正  写的时候就感觉光举了几个例子 并没有把论据先摆出来

gengshuUID：3012360

这么细心的改出这么多语法错误 感激不尽:)

gengshuUID：3012360

这么细心的改出这么多语法错误 感激不尽:)

gengshuUID：3012360

In this argument the speaker indicate that the scent of lavender flowers has been proved effective for the remedy for insomnia from the environment include 30 volunteers with chronic insomnia slept during three weeks on lavender-scented pillows in a controlled room. Although the scent of lavender flowers may have good effect on remedy for insomnia, there are some problems which undermine the speaker's argument.

The first to say is how to define the insomnia. If we define the insomnia as whether the person can sleep easily ,then the argument indicate that the volunteers sleep soundly and wakened feeling tired or how long they can sleep cannot convince anything about insomnia .That is to say that the speaker's argument should build up on a clear define on what he want to prove.

Besides, the speaker unfairly to indicate that it is the effect of the scent of lavender flowers that making the volunteers sleep longer. There are a lot of other factors which disturb the result .For example, volunteers of this experiment sleep in a new environment, may be the first two week they cannot adapt this environment so they feel tired after these weeks and at the third week they have adapt the new circumstance ,as a result they sleep longer than before .Another explain is that for the volunteers stop eating their sleeping medication at the beginning of the second week .Then they sleep bad in the second week and feel too tired. Thus, they sleep longer and more soundly than previous in the third week.

Moreover, the experiment want to prove the scent of lavender flowers can cures insomnia quickly. But we cannot say the scented pillows have equal effect to the scent of the flowers. May be the comfortable degree the pillows have more effect on the insomnia and the pillows of this experiment are very cozy and make the volunteers sleep longer in the third week. That means without the scent of lavender flowers the condition of the volunteers' sleep will be still become better.

Two final problems with the argument involve the experimental process. If we want the test the effect of the scent of the flowers whether or not the volunteers eat the sleeping medication in first two weeks have little use to this experiment .Furthermore, even though the scent have good effect to the chronic insomnia volunteers, we cannot say this scent have same effect on the other insomnia patients.

In conclusion, the argument cannot indicate that the scent of lavender cures insomnia within a short period of time by that experiment. The speaker should take another better experiment which considers the effect of other factors.


仍然找不到感觉哎。。。

amber_cUID：3131341

In this argument the speaker indicate(indicates) that the scent of lavender flowers has been proved effective for the remedy for insomnia from the environment include(including) 30 volunteers with chronic insomnia slept during three weeks on lavender-scented pillows in a controlled room. Although the scent of lavender flowers may（表示让步的话，最好用might） have good effect on remedy for insomnia, there are some problems which undermine the speaker's argument.

The first to say is how to define the insomnia. If we define the insomnia as whether the person can sleep easily ,then the argument indicate(indicating) that the volunteers sleep（slept） soundly and wakened feeling tired or how long they can sleep cannot convince anything about insomnia .That is to say that(that去掉) the speaker's argument should build up on a clear define（definition） on what he want（wants） to prove.

Besides, the speaker unfairly to indicate that it is the effect of the scent of lavender flowers that making the volunteers sleep longer. There are a lot of other factors which disturb the result .For example, volunteers of this experiment sleep(去掉sleep，否则语法有误) in a new environment, may be the first two week （perhaps in the first two weeks）they cannot(could not) adapt(to) this environment so they feel(felt) tired after these weeks(sleep) and at the third week they have adapt（adapted to） the new circumstance ,as a result they sleep longer than before .Another explain is that for the volunteers stop(stopped) eating their sleeping medication at the beginning of the second week .Then they sleep(slept) bad in the second week and feel(felt) too tired. Thus, they sleep longer and more soundly than previous in the third week.(后面是否应该加一句总结？)

Moreover, the experiment want（wants） to prove the scent of lavender flowers can cures insomnia quickly. But we cannot say the scented pillows have equal(similar会不会更恰当？) effect to the scent of the flowers. May be（Maybe） the comfortable degree the pillows have more effect on the insomnia and the pillows of this experiment are very cozy and make the volunteers sleep longer in the third week. That means without the scent of lavender flowers the condition of the volunteers' sleep will be still(also) become better.

Two final problems with the argument involve the experimental process. If we want the（to?） test the effect of the scent of the flowers whether or not the volunteers eat the sleeping medication in first two weeks have little use to this experiment .(这句话求解释，不懂)Furthermore, even though the scent have good effect to the chronic insomnia volunteers, we cannot say this scent have same effect on the other insomnia patients.
个人觉得谈到实验过程的问题，可以提出缺少实验对照组这个问题。

In conclusion, the argument cannot indicate that the scent of lavender cures insomnia within a short period of time by that experiment. The speaker should take another better experiment which considers the effect of other factors.
最后一段最好可以再把需要给出的evidence总结一下。因为题目要求specific evidence。还有哦，这篇和北美范文有点相似，不过语言不同，应该不怕雷同。
另外建议me注意一下语法，因为太多语法错误还是会影响分数的，葬送不必要的分数是很可惜滴~加油！

gengshuUID：3012360

In this argument the speaker indicate that the scent of lavender flowers has been proved effective for the remedy for insomnia from the environment include 30 volunteers with chronic insomnia slept during three weeks on lavender-scented pillows in a controlled room. Although the scent of lavender flowers may have good effect on remedy for insomnia, there are some problems which undermine the speaker's argument.

The first to say is how to define the insomnia. If we define the insomnia as whether the person can sleep easily ,then the argument indicate that the volunteers sleep soundly and wakened feeling tired or how long they can sleep cannot convince anything about insomnia .That is to say that the speaker's argument should build up on a clear define on what he want to prove.

Besides, the speaker unfairly to indicate that it is the effect of the scent of lavender flowers that making the volunteers sleep longer. There are a lot of other factors which disturb the result .For example, volunteers of this experiment sleep in a new environment, may be the first two week they cannot adapt this environment so they feel tired after these weeks and at the third week they have adapt the new circumstance ,as a result they sleep longer than before .Another explain is that for the volunteers stop eating their sleeping medication at the beginning of the second week .Then they sleep bad in the second week and feel too tired. Thus, they sleep longer and more soundly than previous in the third week.

Moreover, the experiment want to prove the scent of lavender flowers can cures insomnia quickly. But we cannot say the scented pillows have equal effect to the scent of the flowers. May be the comfortable degree the pillows have more effect on the insomnia and the pillows of this experiment are very cozy and make the volunteers sleep longer in the third week. That means without the scent of lavender flowers the condition of the volunteers' sleep will be still become better.

Two final problems with the argument involve the experimental process. If we want the test the effect of the scent of the flowers whether or not the volunteers eat the sleeping medication in first two weeks have little use to this experiment .Furthermore, even though the scent have good effect to the chronic insomnia volunteers, we cannot say this scent have same effect on the other insomnia patients.

In conclusion, the argument cannot indicate that the scent of lavender cures insomnia within a short period of time by that experiment. The speaker should take another better experiment which considers the effect of other factors.