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yangyueling
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发表于 2011-10-25 15:22:42 |只看该作者

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yangyueling
UID: 3093253

新手上路

Rank: 1

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注册时间: 2011-5-30
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17楼

发表于 2011-10-25 15:27:03 |只看该作者

10月24日 20100821NADo you agree or disagree with the following statements? There is never a reason for people to be rude (impolite) to another person. Use specific reasons to support your answer.! D% D5 D6 b  B% f" b/ s

As the development with the socio-environment getting better, more and more people have focused their behaviors towards(有focus towards这种结构吗？不太确定) others which（这个which指代的是others，后面却是liaision，复合句就不对了） is not just the liaison among the peers but also the relationship between different generations. When it comes to the issue, whether we should never be impolite to another person, majority of them argue that we are all equal in the world and should enjoy the same treatment, but others conceive it（这种表达不太native） differently. In my perspective, people should be classified into two types, ones are so good that we should learn form but the other ones are too bad to be treated friendly。（这种区分人类的想法是ETS不欢迎的，最好不要这样说，另外这句话有一点别扭，简易改一下）. h# U  ]- ?2 J
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The first and foremost thing is that toward the guilty individuals we should take a right attitude（比较拗口，什么叫guilty individuals？另外应该是hold an attitude,并且towards很少提前）. When the person is positive in the re-shaped mood we should get them a better and higher position in our heart to be treated with more lovely words.（拗口啊••••••同学有点chinglish啊••••••） For instance, there are so many people  who had be committed to years for killing persons turning out to be kindhearted neighbors around the streets and assiduously helping others in trouble. On the contrary, there are also guys although we have given adequate good words to educate who still do bad things such as stealing or be（这个be是跟在哪个后面？注意语态） arsons, and when this happens, we should not be polite to them at all（用any more 更好一些）.: |* n% X( A5 Y
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Additionally, the saying goes in China "Helping others enjoy yourself" which means when you give other flowers liking roses and you will also get good perfume left in your hands. Being polite to the good persons justifiably would take ourselves to a good possibility of being good model to others. The future is the world of our offspring, and we should give models of good attitudes and good life. What kinds of behaviors we take will have chiefly effect on our descendants. For example, when I was a little girl once I was shocked by the angry face of my father when he saw a thief was stealing in the market. For the sake of that time I know it is wrong to steal by my father's unusual educated ways. （太chinglish了••••••for the sake of 的用法••••，句子的语序需要改变一下）
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As the reasons discussed above（有的时候标点是必须的） I think it is of importance to treat different person in the right means（用在这里不恰当）. It is not only vital to our peers but also our children.
总评：从全文看可以看出你的词汇量挺丰富的，逻辑也比较清晰，但是要注意：1.不能乱用词语，很多词虽然意思对，但用在文中并不合适，建议拿不准，不熟的词语不要用。2.避免语言的chinglish：这是楼主的主要问题，语句不太通顺。其他方面都挺好的，加油哦~

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