备考写的第一篇作文，麻烦大神帮看看

leolxfUID: 3138423

Q:The rapid growth of cities has a mostly positive impact on the development of   the
society.


  When it comes to the development of the society, there is no denying the fact that the
growth of cities plays a big role.
  First of all, it contributes greatly to employment opportunities. For example, my uncle
was a country primary school teacher. Result from the decrease in students at school, it
had to stop running ten years ago. Obviously, my uncle lost his job so that he didn't have
enough money to support his family. Fortunately, benefit from the growth of cities, and
the realization of the importance of promoting the educational level in areas surrounding
cities, new schools rebuilt soon.So, uncle could go back to his platform.
  Second, the growth of cities makes our lives more convenient and accessible. In the past
decade, public transportation developed fast. High-speed rail, light railway and subway
shorten the distance between two places. When I was in my childhood, it took me more than
twenty hours to go to the capital city. But now, it surprisingly costs the half. The
improvement of urban facilities also bring huge profits to local residents.For my
mum,several years ago, in order to buy some vegetables for supper, she had to walk forty
minutes to the market and bear the huge crowds of people in it. Nowadays, a large number
of supermarkets appear in street corners bringing convenience to our daily life.
  However, this idea is questioned by a group of people, who point out that the
accelerating of the growth of cities may affect adversely. Overdevelopment will cause not
only the waste of resources but the environmental pollution. Trees become fewer and the
sky is no longer blue.Except that, new technique involving in the development may cause
trouble or disturbance as well. The neon outside the skyscrapers makes it hard for the old
to fall asleep.
  As has been proved by positive as well as negative ideas, it is true that the growth of
cities has a mostly positive impact on the development of the society.

leolxfUID: 3138423

有没有人帮忙改改啊，真的没经验，求狠批！