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[作文] 请大神评分 剑4test1task1 [复制链接]

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发表于 2012-6-21 10:26:16 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
本帖最后由 lifei00987 于 2012-6-21 11:05 编辑

剑4test1task1
The chart below describes the percentage of different kinds of households which were living in poverty in Australia in 1999.

The households in Australia are categorized into six different family types by the number of parents and children in each family. They are single aged person or couple, single or couple with no children and couple with or without children, separately.

According to the table, the proportion of elderly single person or couple living in poverty was quite low, with that of single aged person relatively higher when compared with that of aged couple. The exact percentage was 6% and 4% for single aged person and aged couple respectively.

It's fairly clear that families of a couple were generally better off than families of single parent. For single parent with no children, the percentage of people living in poverty was 19%, much higher than that of couple without children, for which the number was 7%. The proportion of sloe parent living in poverty was the highest, the number of which risen up to 21%. In contrast, only 12% of the couple with children family type lived in poverty.

In total, the proportion of people from all households which were living in poverty in Australia in 1999 was 11%.  
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发表于 2012-6-21 11:23:16 |只看该作者
lz很勤劳啊 哈哈哈哈


The chart below indicates the percentage of different kinds of households living in poverty in Australia in 1999.

The households are categorized into six different family types by the number of parents and children in each family. They are single aged person or couple, single or couple with no children and couple with or without children, respectively. (from my understanding, its 3 types, but maybe I’m wrong)

According to the table, the proportion of single aged person or couple living in poverty was quite(can use a better word, such as” relatively, slightly, significantly” depending on the circumstances) low, with that of single aged person relatively higher when compared with that of aged couple. The exact percentage was 6% and 4% for single aged person and aged couple respectively.

As shown in the table, families with a couple were generally better off (better off???) than families of single parent. For single parent with no children, the percentage of people living in poverty was 19%, (the percentage of single parent with no children living in poverty was …) much higher than that of couple without children, for which the number was 7%. The proportion of sloe parent living in poverty was the highest, the number of which risen up to 21%.(rise up from where?) In contrast, only 12% of the couple with children family type lived in poverty.

In total, the proportion of people from all households which were living in poverty in Australia in 1999 was 11%.  

语言没什么问题,主要表述清楚意思,让读者能不看图也知道你说的是什么。

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板凳
发表于 2012-6-21 11:29:42 |只看该作者
robinzr 发表于 2012-6-21 11:23
lz很勤劳啊 哈哈哈哈

嗯,谢谢修改!笨鸟先飞:)

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地板
发表于 2012-6-24 17:38:14 |只看该作者
5-5.5

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发表于 2012-6-25 09:06:54 |只看该作者
bqiana 发表于 2012-6-24 17:38
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:funk:打击死俺了。能不能花点时间指出问题啊。谢谢!!!

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