【独立写作】mresc 作文贴

mrescUID: 2869511

Gyps_rueppellii 发表于 2012-7-12 17:44
楼主，改完了，请过目，      我觉得逻辑还有点需要加强吧，有点让我云里雾里的。    托福作文根本上需要明 ...

这篇文章我再改改给你看看行吗？ 你感觉有点怪的用法也请告诉我吧，一起讨论一下，因为有些地方我只是凭感觉写的。谢谢~

Gyps_rueppelliiUID: 3340085

mresc 发表于 2012-7-17 10:03
这篇文章我再改改给你看看行吗？ 你感觉有点怪的用法也请告诉我吧，一起讨论一下，因为有些地方我只是凭感 ...

恩， 好吧好吧，   你发给我吧， 直接贴在你的里面然后给我回复一下吧      谢谢

mrescUID: 2869511

请你过目一下：

mrescUID: 2869511

Gyps_rueppellii 发表于 2012-7-17 22:42
恩， 好吧好吧，   你发给我吧， 直接贴在你的里面然后给我回复一下吧      谢谢

我改好啦

mrescUID: 2869511

啦啦啦。。。。。。。。。

mrescUID: 2869511

07.26：11.8.20NA: the most important investment of a company is to improve the skills of its employees.

I strongly agree with the statement that a company's most important investment should be sorts of trainings for its employees. Admittedly, investments, such as advertising, are also beneficial for a company. However, the quality of human capital plays a more important role in today’s competitive market economy because employees are the fundamental sources of a company's achievement.

First, a company's reputation is mainly based on the behavior of its employees. Employees are representatives of the company. When judging a company, people usually take its employees’ working ability, communication skills and even their personal characteristics as main criteria. Take my personal experience as an example. I worked as an intern at Deloitte tax department last summer. What surprised me most is the huge amount of training programs: new employees spend nearly half of their first year in attending sorts of training classes. One senior told me that every staff must meet a series of requirement of the company standards so they can give customers a feeling of consistency. For example, when customers consult different Deloitte employees on tax report plan, they should get similar answers. In addition, Deloitte has earned high reputation, and thus its employees must possess the same high level of working skills, which matches the reputation of their employer.

Second, it is actually a very useful method for the company to seize the talent employees. If an employee gets free and thorough training at beginning, he or she must be grateful and may contribute more to the company. Although I am just an intern at Deloitte, I still enjoy the great orientation ceremony and some essential training programs. At the first week, Deloitte trained me to use auditing programs and to read many important tax review reports which are quite valuable because the customer actually par a large amount of money for them. My internship just lasts a month but I have learned a lot. I appreciated these trainings and when I consider finding a job, I will possibly put Deloitte at my priority.

Third, improving the skills of the employees is a good investment because of its amazing profit. At Deloitte, the most training are about certification trainings such as CPA training, professional ACCA qualification training. If the employees get these certifications, the company will have more chances to seize more 'rich customers'. In addition, the average working years for one employee is about 25 years at Deloitte, and after the specialized training, the employees are less prone to leave the company. Therefore, the company will reap long-term profit from their investment, compared to any other short-term channels.    (453)

tom_cybamicUID: 2475644

改好了，多交流。
0726-mresc-revised by tom.doc (28 KB, 下载次数: 1)

2012-7-28 19:58:37 上传

下载次数: 1

mrescUID: 2869511

tom_cybamic 发表于 2012-7-28 19:58
改好了，多交流。

谢谢你的批改！最后没有时间写了。。

Gyps_rueppelliiUID: 3340085

改完了，请看看，   感觉句子例子还不错，但是就是论证不够那么好

mrescUID: 2869511

0805. Do you agree with the following statement: young people nowadays have no influence on decisions that determine the future of the society as a whole. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

I am inclined to disagree with this statement that the future of the society is not dependent on the behavior of our young people at all. I admit that elder people have their advantages and that the youngster may make mistakes because of lacking experience in dealing with today's complicated world. However, It is definitely unfair to claim that young people have no influence in determining humans' future. Our innovation abilities, easy access to new technologies and new environments are essential attributes that enables us to contribute to future society.

First, young people always come up with new ideas and new ideas, as a powerful engine, are very important to the advancement of the society. There are many examples about how young but innovative ideas changes the world. Mark, the founder of Facebook, undoubtedly has an immense influence on modern society. His contribution actually begins with a seemingly naive decision: establish a 'face' database of all girl students in the university in order to give grades to them according to the degree of beauty. This young idea gradually evolved into the new era of social network of greatly transmit ways of communicating and socializing. Young people's ideas are usually attractive to new generation that will become main labors in the future. Therefore, they are influential to decide what the society will be like when they become the leader soon.

Second, young people can adapt themselves quickly to the new technology. Internet is a new but powerful technology and no one will deny that it largely increase people's ability to influence important world issues. Young people are proved to be comfortable with the explosion of new technologies. 'Arab Spring' is a typical example. The youngster effectively use advanced social media to organize demonstrations and protests and raise worldwide awareness of Middle East problems. These brave and smart young people successfully influence the authorities' decision making.

Third, today's society is changeable and young people are easy to embody and understand the changing social environment. It is essential in determining the crucial decisions. In China, young scholars and senior scholars have different views on social welfare revolution in countries in China. Senior scholars usually fail to keep up with the growth of economic growth. While young pioneers foresees the economic changing in China and deem new system may be suitable to the new economic environment. In the end, Chinese academics more accept young scholars' opinions.

In conclusion, young people play an irreplaceable role in determining the future social morphology. They represent an innovative and powerful source to advance our society. (427)

tom_cybamicUID: 2475644

作文没贴上来吗？

maoqiu007UID: 3023523

zuowen?

mrescUID: 2869511

0805. Do you agree with the following statement: young people nowadays have no influence on decisions that determine the future of the society as a whole. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

I am inclined to disagree with this statement that the future of the society is not dependent on the behavior of our young people at all. I admit that elder people have their advantages and that the youngster may make mistakes because of lacking experience in dealing with today's complicated world. However, it is definitely unfair to claim that young people have no influence in determining humans' future. Our innovation abilities, easy access to new technologies and new environments are essential attributes that enables us to contribute to future society.

First, young people always come up with new ideas and new ideas, as a powerful engine, are very critical to the advancement of the society. There are many examples about how young but innovative ideas change the world. Young Mark Zuckerberg, the founder of Facebook, undoubtedly has an immense influence on modern society. His contribution actually begins with a seemingly naive decision: establish a 'face' database of all girl students in the university in order to rank them according to the degree of beauty. This young idea gradually evolved into the era of social network: a brand-new way of communicating and socializing. Young people's ideas are usually attractive to new generation that will become main labor in the future. Therefore, they are influential to decide what the society will be like when they become the leader  in next few decades.

Second, young people can adapt themselves quickly to the new technology. Internet is a new but powerful technology and no one will deny that it largely increases people's ability to address important world issues. Young people are proved to be comfortable with the explosion of new technologies. 'Arab Spring' is a typical example. The youngster effectively used advanced social media to organize demonstrations and protests and raise worldwide awareness of Middle East problems. These brave and smart young people successfully influence the authorities' decision making.

Third, today's society is changeable and young people are easy to embody and understand the changing social environment. In China, young scholars and senior scholars have different views on social welfare revolution in countries in China. Senior scholars usually fail to keep up with the growth of economic growth. While young pioneers foresee the economic changes in China and deem that new system may be suitable to the new economic environment. In the end, Chinese academics more accept young scholars' opinions.

In conclusion, young people play an irreplaceable role in determining the future social morphology. They represent an innovative and powerful source to advance our society. (422)

mrescUID: 2869511

tom_cybamic 发表于 2012-8-6 11:04
作文没贴上来吗？

太抱歉了！这几天突然有急事，所以没有顾忌上，作文忘贴了，也没有给你们改。我今天会帮你们看好作文的。我的作文贴在27楼。谢谢！

mrescUID: 2869511

tom_cybamic 发表于 2012-8-6 11:04
作文没贴上来吗？

太抱歉了！这几天突然有急事，所以没有顾忌上，作文忘贴了，也没有给你们改。我今天会帮你们看好作文的。我的作文贴在27楼。谢谢！