a maiden work,欢迎各种指导，还两周就考试了。。。。

l线粒体UID：3322293

唔~  AW的进展一直很慢很慢，想起来才去弄一下弄一下，7.21的考试，如果我说这是我的第一篇完整的argument,是不是很欠拍？！ 求指导，自己写出来不知道是什么情况啊啊！没计时写的。。。。。。

The following appeared in a memo from the new vice president of Sartorian, a company that manufactures men's clothing.
Five years ago, at a time when we had difficulties in obtaining reliable supplies of high quality wool fabric, we discontinued production of our alpaca overcoat. Now that we have a new fabric supplier, we should resume production. This coat should sell very well: since we have not offered an alpaca overcoat for five years and since our major competitor no longer makes an alpaca overcoat, there will be pent-up customer demand. Also, since the price of most types of clothing has increased in each of the past five years, customers should be willing to pay significantly higher prices for alpaca overcoats than they did five years ago, and our company profits will increase."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the  argument.                     

In the argument, by citing the evidence that they have a new fabric supplier and consumers will be zealous for the alpaca coat, the new vice president of Sartorian concludes that consumers are supposed to be willing to pay significantly higher price and their company profits will increase.To some extent,the argument is well presented and seems to be relatively plausible at first glance,however, absence of the accurate information about the current style and the price of wool fabric, we are not convinced that the take-off of the overcoat and the benefits the company will get.

To begin with, the author simply regards the new fabric supplier as reliable supplies of high quality wool fabric, which is unwarranted.We are not informed the quality of the new wool fabric.Perhaps the quality of the new fabric is not sufficient to produce the moderate overcoat like they did five years ago.Under this kind of scenario,without critical evidence about the quality of the new fabric,we cannot assure that the company can resume production,let alone get profits from it.

And also,the author's prediction that the coat will sell very well drives from the optimistion that the favored stylish remains categorically irreversible after five years and for the lack of overcoat in a relatively long time, the new arrival of overcoat will take off.However,the author pays no heed to a series of changes that might happen just in the upcoming years.It is highly possible that people give a priority to fashionable and portable coat instead of the overcoat;but that other possibilities, such as In order to substantiate the argument, the author had better provide the evidence that the current taste does not dramatically fluctuate and people are still fancy with the overcoat during the five years.

In addition,the author imprudently claims that,comparing with increasingly expensive price of other clothing,consumers are likely to pay higher prices for the overcoat.The author ignores the possibility that consumers choose the overcoat may for the reason that it can be as cheap as it was  five years ago. In this circumstance,even if the new supplier can guarantee the quality of the fabric to produce the overcoats,higher price may deter those consumers who value the price more or less.Furthermore,even though the price of the overcoat is satisfying, high price and pent-up demand cannot guarantee the profits,for we are not informed that cost price which may be strikingly higher than five years ago.The author should provide the accuracy about the cost price to maintenance the conclusion.Besides,the author mentions that the business is profitable ,but if the profits were as great as he predicts,it seems that plenties of companies would already join this market.The fact that their major competitor no longer makes an alpaca overcoat suggest that a lack of interest in this kind of overcoat.Since the author has not adequately responded to this concern, his conclusion that they will get profits is untenable.

In conclusion,the author fails to convince me that Sartorian's profits will increase by resuming the production of the alpaca overcoat. Though the reappearance of an old style clothing may arouse consumers' attention, to strengthen the argument the author should provide additional evidence to prove that the current trend of vogue and the disperse between the cost price and the sold price to calculate the profits the company may get.

非常感谢耐心看完！

l线粒体UID：3322293

把文章贴上去，我才发现body的各段比例不均，这样是不是不好？

alteraUID：2724954

帮顶，顺便说下。。待会儿就有人建议你转到AW板块：）

l线粒体UID：3322293

altera 发表于 2012-7-8 18:41
帮顶，顺便说下。。待会儿就有人建议你转到AW板块：）

我没找到AW板块才发这里的，有看到一个什么GRE作文互动的。。。。