【燃烧的战火作文互改小组】Hedia的习作帖

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9月17日习作

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Issue13
Universitiesshould require every student to take a variety of courses outside the student'sfield of study.
Writea response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree withthe claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address themost compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge yourposition.

Universities nowadays are beginning to encourage students to takevarious courses no matter what they major in. Students around us have morechoices including music, literature etc. even if they are from the school ofchemistry.

Nowadays more and more students around us are encouraged to takevarious courses outside their own fields. Science students take music and artscourses, while arts students learn some maths and physics, either out ofinterest or compelled.

Surely thechoices and abundance provide students with more opportunities, which help to expandthe range of knowledge. No matter a student is going for further study or work,it counts a lot for them to master a complete knowledge structure. Those inscience need literature skills to write enthralling and intelligible essays.And those in arts should take science courses to culture a sense of logicalthinking.

Meanwhile it canbe seen from the boom of many interdisciplinary courses that different fieldsof study actually help each other. A biological student may be inspired whiletaking music class, finding a kind of music benefits to the growing of a plant.

   However requiring every student to take various courses as the statementclaims may not be a wise deed. It actually requires that students have theability to handle distinct courses at the same time, which definitely cannot beassured by every student with different interest and strengths. Thereforecompelling them to take courses they are not suitable for will lead to manyproblems. For instance, my roommate Kate loves arts and has no interest in maths.In order to meet the school institution, she took the advanced maths courselast semester. She spent too many time on it, even occupied the time when sheshould go out to practice painting. Finally not only was her depressed with hermaths grade, but she also did bad in her main courses.
   Besides taking up time and reducing the efficiency on one's main field,being asked to take a variety of courses may evoke students' reluctance, whichresults in bad performance on those additive ones. After all, "interest isthe best teacher". Study should be a kind of things done willingly.
   As for different disciplines, things are also different. Studentsmajoring in theoretical maths perhaps have no necessity to take many courses.Their field is independent to some extent, especially for students determinedto do research rather than work after graduation. Spending more time on theirown field seems to be a better choice.
   In conclusion, choosing courses is an important thing and varies accordingto different fields and students. Universities can encourage students to choosethose which may have benefits to their future and those they are interested ininstead of requiring them to do so. Advice can be given, but cannot be settledwithout considering various conditions.

Given enoughdirections and help, students will make determinations that are best for them.

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Argument60
Mosthomes in the northeastern United States, where winters are typically cold, havetraditionally used oil as their major fuel for heating. Last heating seasonthat region experienced 90 days with below-normal temperatures, and climateforecasters predict that this weather pattern will continue for several moreyears. Furthermore, many new homes are being built in the region in response torecent population growth. Because of these trends, we predict an increaseddemand for heating oil and recommend investment in Consolidated Industries, oneof whose major business operations is the retail sale of home heating oil.
Writea response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of theargument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions andwhat the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

The arguer claims that the demand for heating oil will increase andtherefore recommends investment in Consolidated Industries. As evidence thearguer points out that the temperature was low last year and it will continuefor several years. It may seem true to some extent, but there are many assumptionsof the statement which must be examined clearly.

   The first assumption the arguer gives is that experiencing 90 days withbelow-normal temperatures last year indicates a colder weather compared toothers. However, there are not any data convincing us that claim. A comparisonof numbers of days with below-normal temperature among several years is needed.After all the criteria of the "normal" is not clear and it is totallypossible that in many years the district is experiencing days with temperaturesbelow the "normal" one. If so, the arguer cannot conclude that lastheating season was an especially cold one. Even if last season was cold, thearguer assumes that the climate forecasters are credible and their forecastwill come true, which has no evidence. Without convincing proof we cannotbelieve the cold weather will continue in the following years.
Besides, the arguer mentions that oil is atraditional source for heating in the district, then assumes that oil will goon to be used as the major fuel from now on. In the contrast the development oftechnology makes it completely possible to use a kind of cheaper and cleanerresources for heating. If so, companies selling oil will even have a decreasein their selling achievements.

Another assumptionthe arguer makes while trying to predict the increase of oil demand is that thenewly built homes will soon have people live in. While common sense tells usthat newly built houses will be empty and ventilated for a while in order tolet harmful gases out. In addition, during the time the homes are being builtand interval before people move in, the oil market may change a great deal.

   Even though the demand for heating oil will increase according to thearguer, it is assumed that the revenue of Consolidate Industries will also goup when the arguer recommends investment. Without a detailed calculation ofearnings and cost, the assumption cannot stand. Oil occupies only one part ofthe business. No matter how big the part is, the company has other businessesthat are not mentioned in the statement. We have no information of them so wecannot conclude the whole condition of the company. If other businessesexperience such a sharp decrease in the following years that the lost is largerthan the earnings, investing the company will not be a wise choice.Furthermore, the business operation is the retail sale of home heating oilaccording to the statement, which will be influenced by the expenditure ofbuying the oil from other factories. If the price of wholesale increases a lot,the company may even get a loss.
   The final point that cannot be disregarded is that ConsolidatedIndustries may have competitors in the oil retailing market. The arguer simplyassumes that the increase in the demand of oil will reflect directly anincrease of this company’s sales volume, which is not persuasive. If there areother companies selling the same product with lower price and a betterreputation, consumers may choose others instead of Consolidated Industries.

In conclusion,the recommendation of investment in Consolidated Industries may have somereasons indicating it a good choice, but it must be constructed on a series ofassumptions mentioned above. Without convincing that the temperature was lowand will continue to be so, and that the company will earn in the followingyears, we cannot make the determination.

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9月18日Argument 41

Argument41
The following appeared in a health newsletter.

A ten-year nationwide study of the effectiveness ofwearing a helmet while bicycling indicates that ten years ago, approximately 35percent of all bicyclists reported wearing helmets, whereas today that numberis nearly 80 percent. Another study, however, suggests that during the sameten-year period, the number of bicycle-related accidents has increased 200percent. These results demonstrate that bicyclists feel safer because they arewearing helmets, and they take more risks as a result. Thus, to reduce thenumber of serious injuries from bicycle accidents, the government shouldconcentrate more on educating people about bicycle safety and less onencouraging or requiring bicyclists to wear helmets.

Write a response in which you examine the statedand/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argumentdepends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument ifthe assumptions prove unwarranted.

Educating people about bicycle safety asthe author states in the argument is surely a wise deed, but less encouragingor requiring bicyclists to wear helmets is not that advisable. Even if theauthor gives evidence that the percent of bicyclists reported wearing helmetsincreased while the accidents increased, it cannot be concluded that it iswearing helmets that lead to the accidents increase, for the argument has manyassumptions that have not been proved.
   The first assumption the author makes is that the study's result isconvincing. Seeing that the number of people wearing helmets was concluded bypeople's claims rather than an objective observation, we cannot believe theresults easily. People may tend to show that they are careful bicyclists whoobey the regulations well and are not likely to get into an accident. If so,the result is quite susceptible and cannot be referred to. Besides, the numberof people involved in the study is not showed in the argument. Without showingthat the study selects a group large and representative enough to draw aconclusion, the result is also dubitable.
   Even if the number of bicyclists wearing helmets indeed rose just as thestudy shows, the author simply assumes that wearing helmets was well before thehappening of accidents. After all the argument does not mention whether the victimswere wearing helmets when the accidents happened. If not, the helmet cannot bepointed as the direct cause. There is probability that people started to wearhelmets more just because the increasing accidents. If things are like that,the conclusion the author makes seems not valid at all.
   Besides, assuming other conditions constant during the past ten years isclearly not right. There are many other factors that may lead to accidents, soit cannot be said that wearing helmets prevents bicyclists from being carefuland results in more accidents. Maybe the road conditions became worse in thepast ten years. Or perhaps the mobiles in the area increased a lot and caused greatdanger for bicycles. The regulations, education, and bicyclists' ability ofriding bicycles also matter.
   Furthermore, the author assumes that concentrating more on educatingpeople about bicycle safety and less on encouraging or requiring bicyclists towear helmets will definitely reduce the number of serious injuries frombicycle, which lacks enough supporting points. Just as mentioned above, withoutblocking out all other factors that may had bad effects, the decision may notcome into effect.
   The author's consideration about the accidents is needed, but the advicehas so many assumptions that must be thought clearly. From the validation ofthe study, the relation between helmets and accidents, other possible factorsto the hopeful effect of the suggestion, all need to be authenticated in orderto convince us the argument. Therefore the author does not make a cogent claimin the argument.

charlesliyeUID：3245497

仅供参考

charlesliyeUID：3245497

仅供参考too

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charlesliye 发表于 2012-9-18 19:32
仅供参考too

谢谢哈！虚心学习~~~

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9月18日Issue

Issue30
Teachers'salaries should be based on their students' academic performance.
Writea response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree withthe claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address themost compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge yourposition.

Teacher's salaries are always difficult to measure. It is becauseteachers' jobs are aimed at people rather than material products that thestandard is quite hard to settle. Workers in the industry can be evaluatedaccording to the number and quality of the products they work on, but with manyother factors hard to control, teachers’ salaries cannot and should not bebased on their students' academic performance.

   Basing teachers' salaries on the students' academic performance indeed hassome reasonable aspects. First one of teachers' responsibilities is to teachstudents knowledge and help them make advance in the academic area. As a resultof that, students' academic behavior reflects teachers' work achievement tosome extent. Whether the teacher puts heart to teaching and whether one has theability for good work can both influence the result.
   Second relating the salary and students' performance is a good way tostimulate teachers for harder work, which may promote the working efficiency.
   However, it is mot proper to make students' academic performance thebasic criterion for teachers' salaries. To begin with, although students'performance can reflect teachers' effort, many other factors also matters. Asis known to us, students' hard-working, talents, interest, family environmentand their own experience all influence the result of study. It is hard tocontrol all these aspects constant while compare only the teachers' effort andset different salary standards. If a teacher in physics is responsible for oneclass in which students are not very good at physics in the whole, he or shemay not get a result as good as others even if more attempts have been made.Therefore the criteria can be unfair most of the time.
   Besides teachers work is not restricted to promoting the academicperformance. Different teachers have various conception of teaching and mayvary in their methods. Some pay more attention to the exams and put morestrength on them, easier to lead to better exam results. On the contrast someothers may think the culture of creativity, learning habits, and ways of thinkingare much more important. Therefore they stress on these points. Even though thestudents do not get high marks in exams soon, can anyone deny the work of theseteachers? After all, academic performance is only a small part of the students’gain.
   Other than a variety of factors that may influence the evaluation,basing teachers' salaries on the students' academic performance may result insome bad effect. Relating the two respects can be a good stimulus, but setstudents' performance as a base may bring too much pressure to teachers. Inorder to get a higher salary, teachers will think out of many ways to improvestudents, including ways that may not be very reasonable. It is highly possiblethat teachers will assign much more homework, which will transform the pressureto students and lead to tiredness and low efficiency. The behavior bring about counterproductiveresults is surely not practicable.

In conclusion,relating teachers' salaries to students' performance is a good way to improveteaching, but salaries cannot be decided on with a single standard, andstudents’ performance in different areas should be considered. A betterregulation and specific evaluation can promote the teaching and studyingbetter.

殇沫UID：3345827

9月19日  

Argument45
Thefollowing is part of a memorandum from the president of Humana University.
Lastyear the number of students who enrolled in online degree programs offered bynearby Omni University increased by 50 percent. During the same year, Omnishowed a significant decrease from prior years in expenditures for dormitory andclassroom space, most likely because instruction in the online programs takesplace via the Internet. In contrast, over the past three years, enrollment atHumana University has failed to grow, and the cost of maintaining buildings hasincreased along with our budget deficit. To address these problems, HumanaUniversity will begin immediately to create and actively promote online degreeprograms like those at Omni. We predict that instituting these online degreeprograms will help Humana both increase its total enrollment and solve itsbudget problems.
Writea response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered inorder to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is basedare reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions wouldhelp to evaluate the prediction.

   Inthe memorandum the president suggest instituting online degree programs inorder to help Humana University increase its total enrollment and solve itsbudget problems. To testify the argument, the president gives the nearby OmniUniversity as an example and makes a compare between the two. Although theonline degree may have some advantages, it cannot be sure to get theachievement as is mentioned, for there are many questions the president doesn'tanswered in the memorandum, which leads to some suspicion.
   The first question is about the Omni University. What was the number ofstudents taking part in the online program before last year? The president doesnot tell us how many students enrolled in the online programs, but only givesthe increased percent. If the students participating in the programs were veryfew, the increase cannot be a big one. For example there were ten studentsbefore and fifteen students after, the space saved is so small that can bedisregarded.
   Another question that needs answering is that whether it is the onlinedegree programs that result in the decrease of the expenditures for dormitoryand classroom space? Many factors can lead to the saving of expenditure. Maybethe university cut down the cleaners employed therefore reduced in the payment.Maybe the university encouraged students to clean classrooms after classes andthey were cleaner, decreasing the need to clean specifically. And maybe thenumber of students went down last year. Without ruling out these possibilities,the president cannot answer the question, not to mention drawing theconclusion.
   Furthermore, even if the Omni University benefits from the onlinecourses according to the president, does the two universities reallycomparable? As is known to us, even if the two universities are located neareach other, their teaching ability, students and school culture may differ alot. Omni University may have strength in the art courses, which is convenientto be taught through the Internet. While Humana University is good at sciencecourse teaching, which requires many experiments that cannot be replaced bywatching the video without practicing by oneself. As a result, not onlyinstituting online degree programs seems impossible, it will also lack charm andfew people are willing to attend.
   Besides the possibility of comparing, the final conclusion of thepresident also needs questioning. What percent does the cost of maintainingbuildings occupy in the whole cost? What percent does the number of onlinestudents occupy in the total? After all instituting online programs itself willmake cost in investment. Without clarifying these points, hoping to solve thebudget problem through online degree programs is impossible.
   Indeed, the online programs will be more convenient for students farfrom school and have many benefits. But the argument is not cogent for so manyquestions that can be raised. Without solving them the determination cannot bemade.

草莓CynthiaUID：3128074

9.18 issue 已改好 与楼主共勉！

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草莓Cynthia 发表于 2012-9-20 21:51
9.18 issue 已改好 与楼主共勉！

多谢哈！  学习一下~~~

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9月20日
终于能传附件啦~~~

Argument 113
Issue  45

pingxingxianUID：3108498

草莓CynthiaUID：3128074

https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1438581-1-1.html
我的Argue 木人改 你帮我看看吧

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pingxingxian 发表于 2012-9-21 22:43

多谢！确实很少在审题和扣题上下较大的功夫，需要多考虑~~ ^^