独立写作求狠批

凯子啊哦UID: 3397376

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Nowadays, it is much easier for a person to achieve success without family's help than in the past. Use specific reasons to support your answer. (Society & Success)

Historically, family's help is indispensable to one's success.Because we have limited source like information,social network and etc. While in these day and age, we possess a plenty of resources besides our family, the problem which couldn't be alleviated in past could be tackled with some modern revolutions.

In the first place,we now could have easily access to information.Previously, information was not that easy to obtain,instead,one who had a big family was likely to have these information, which is opportunity to succeed.Today,internet exerts its power to make these tough situations pale.We can type the key words in the google and hundreds and thousands of raw data pop out,which is a revolutionary change to bridge the fissure of our peers,leaving us a platform where information is free and equally to all of us.Thus,in today's society,even if without a big family,one can succeed independently easier than previous time.

Besides,the significance of our own social network is hard to overstate. Traditionary,people seldom had his own social network: thus he has to rely on his parents, rather have his own peer social network.Nevertheless,due to some SNS like Facebook or twitter,we slowly build our social network-- i.e., we could make friends with some like-mind friends or some who share totally difference interests with us. Moreover, in contrast to home-study in past time, we now attend the University,  which provide us more chances to make friends that from different area. Once I was the chairman of student union, from which I gained a lot of brilliant friends who, for instance, could make a perfect arrangement or who possess a big social network to invite some celebrities to give us a speech,the list goes on and on.Nowadays,our success should be integrated with the help of our peers rather than our family.

Finally,gone are that day that we were defined by our parent. It is not uncommon that we should obey our parents and listen to them no matter what they ask us to do in past or we were called  disobedient. The rule in previous society confined us in a lot of aspects: therefore we have little chance to chase our dream. Yet, now, our society admire innovation, leaving us neglectable limitations for us to realize our dream by our hands. Chinese, for example, in past days, they have to obey the rule that came for their family, and they had to study like others, get married like others,  even success like other. As the result, someone possess special skill gone with the wind. While, currently, our society leaving us bulk of choice since we grow us-- we can choose to stay in the home or to study abroad, we can have a better education on campus or do business like Steve Jobs and Bill Gate. As a consequence, our life lies in our hands today, we are more likely to success without the help of our family.

Taking all these things into consideration,we may feel safe to draw the conclusion that nowadays, other than family's help we have more accesses to success comparing with the relative little change in the past.

mpromanusUID: 2565872

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Nowadays, it is much easier for a person to achieve success without family's help than in the past. Use specific reasons to support your answer.

Historically, family's help is indispensable to one's success. Because we have limited sources like information, social networks and etc. ('because' cannot lead a sentence on its own. Either combine the 'because' clause with the previous sentence, or you need to continue the sentence with another clause.) While in this day and age, we possess a plenty of resources besides our family, the problem which couldn't be alleviated (I don't quite get what problem exactly is 'the' problem you are discussing. The rest of this paragraph didn't really mention 'problem'. If you meant to say that lack of resources was the problem, well, you have already said that people now have many more resources now, so you don't really need to repeat that it is tackled..) in past could be tackled with some modern revolutions.

In the first place, we now could have easily access to information. Previously, information was not that easy to obtain, instead, one who had a big family was likely to have these information (1. 'information' is uncountable so you can't use 'these'; 2. which/what information is 'this/these' information, anyway..?), which is an opportunity to succeed. Today, the internet exerts its power to make these tough situations (I have no idea what situations are 'these' tough situations. You only talked about one tough situation – information was hard to obtain and you need to have a big family – not any else. Words like 'this/these' are pronouns, and pronouns need to have established references. For example, only when you have said that 'I have a pen', you can then say 'this pen is red'. If you just say 'this pen is red', nobody knows what pen you're talking about. Note, in face-to-face communication you can just say 'this pen is red', because your conversation partner can probably see the pen – but you can't say such things in writing.) pale (If you say the internet makes something tough 'pale', you're not saying that this something becomes less tough – you're actually saying the internet is even tougher than this tough something.). We can type the key words in the Google ('Google' is a name. It's a name like 'George', and you don't put 'the' in front of names.) and hundreds and thousands of raw data pop out, which is a revolutionary change to bridge the fissure of our peers (I don't really get what this means.), leaving us a platform where information is free and equally ('equally' is an adverb, not an adjective. You need an adjective here – either 'equal' or 'equally <adj.>'.) to all of us. Thus, in today's society, even if without a big family, one can succeed independently easier than previous times (I would probably argue that you still need to have access to the internet for this to work so it is not necessarily easier than having a big family..but then, I won't be too critical. The point is that this last sentence reads like a jumbo of 'one can succeed independently' and 'one can succeed more easily than previous times'..at least you'll need an 'and' somewhere..).

Besides, the significance of our own social networks is hard to overstate. Traditionally, people seldom had his own social network: thus he has to rely on his parents, rather than to have his own peer social network. Nevertheless, due to some SNS (1. you need to spell out what 'SNS' is, because it can mean anything from the name of a bank to 'sympathetic nervous system'; 2. a social network site is not the only place you can build a social network. the idea of 'social network' has long existed before Facebook exists – in other words, your networks are not DUE TO Facebook. You'll have social networks even without Facebook or Twitter.) like Facebook or twitter, we slowly build our social network-- i.e., we could make friends with some like-minded friends or some who share totally difference interests with us. Moreover, in contrast to home-studying in past time, we now attend the university, which provide us more chances to make friends that from different areas. Once I was the chairman of a/the student union, from which I gained a lot of brilliant friends who, for instance, could make a perfect arrangement (An arrangement of what? Flowers? Conferences? You can't just say 'arrangement' and assume your reader will know what is being arranged, because 'arrange' can go with so many nouns..) or who possess a big social network to invite some celebrities to give us a speech (Completely mixed up uses of singular and plural forms. Please be consistent.), the list goes on and on. Nowadays, our success should be integrated with the help of our peers rather than our family. (Yeah but in the end you didn't really manage to argue that a network of peers would make it is easier for you to succeed without a network from parents.)

Finally, gone is that day that we were defined by our parents. It is not uncommon that we should obey our parents and listen to them no matter what they ask us to do in the past or we were called disobedient. The rules in the previous society confined us in a lot of aspects: therefore we have little chance to chase our dreams. Yet, now, our society admires innovation, leaving us negligible limitations for us to realize our dreams by our hands. The Chinese, for example, in the past days, they have to obey the rules that came for (You probably meant 'from'.) their families, and they had to study like others, get married like others, even succeed like other. As the result, someone possessing special skill is gone with the wind (..right, I know what 'Gone with the Wind' translates to in Chinese, but that does not mean 'gone with the wind' is a phrase you can use to mean 'disappear'.. Plus, I don't see why obeying your family's rules must necessarily rob you of your special skills. It's not like your parents' choices will definitely be at odds with your choices – I understand that's often the case with Chinese students but again that doesn't mean it is the rule or the truth. And, on top of that all, even if you do end up obeying your parents/family unwillingly, you can still find time and space to develop your own skills if you really want to..like, the composer Bach and his bad brother who prohibited him to work on music.). While, currently, our society leav[color]e us bulk of choices since we grow us (What does 'we grow us' mean? Do you mean 'we grow ourselves', as in, 'we cultivate our own interests'..?)-- we can choose to stay in the home or to study abroad; we can have a better education on campus or do business like Steve Jobs and Bill Gates. As a consequence, our life lies in our hands today (With the financial support from your parents, presumably..just a reminder that philosophically speaking, nobody's life truly lies only in his hands.), we are more likely to success without the help of our family (Well, but you've been talking about the disadvantage of having a family that wants to stop you from achieving your dreams..which is not really 'help', yes? So what you've been arguing has nothing to do 'family help', or the lack of it, or whether you're more likely to succeed without family help..all you've been saying I that you're more likely to succeed without family hindrance – completely irrelevant.).

Taking all these things into consideration, we may feel safe to draw the conclusion that nowadays, other than family's help we have more accesses to success comparing with the relative little change (You didn’t really talk about 'little' change in the past in the essay..) in the past.

总结：

总之就是说要注意单复一致啊词性啊神马。。还有就是你这个越写越跑题。。第一个点还不错，第二个点开始看不出跟题目有神马联系，第三个点干脆变成‘现在没有以前家庭那么多的束缚个人自由更多所以更容易成功啊’，一直描写到中国人民如何如何。。但是问题问你的是没有家庭的帮助啊，关键字是家庭的帮助，而不只是家庭，好吧。。= = 所以在列提纲的时候不要只沿着题目里一两个关键字走，把你要说的整个论点整句话，都写出来，好好想想这句话是不是呼应题目，是不是说明了题目要你说明的事情。。