【独立】6.23作业 [复制链接]

翼_yoyoyoyoy
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发表于 2013-6-24 23:28:24 |只看该作者

秋雨荆州发表于 2013-6-24 21:32
然后其实最后句话说的有点过了，我们是不是考虑下比较温和一点的表述

哦。。。我看错了。。。我以为你问我要不要温和点给我评。。。
是！我自己也觉得那句话有点怪。。不过我不知道怎么总结整个段
这段整个有点硬着头皮在论述开始写的时候就觉得容易跑偏。。。我先改改再给你看

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翼_yoyoyoyoy
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发表于 2013-6-24 23:36:02 |只看该作者

秋雨荆州发表于 2013-6-24 21:31
第一个论点前面我觉得绕得太远了。
And the latter kind of people, we call them true friends.
这句我觉 ...

对啦秋雨你要是早睡你就早点去睡吧我改完了直接回复你明天有时间再看就好~^^今天的作文也一会儿再写

晚安~~~~

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翼_yoyoyoyoy
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发表于 2013-6-25 00:04:59 |只看该作者

秋雨荆州发表于 2013-6-24 21:39
ur turn to give me feedback

秋雨来看看修正版~

First of all, the competition could not break down strong friendship. During our lifetime, we meet numerous people and some of them may accompany us since some point after we meet. That kind of people, we call them friends. Friends are the people who really care us and we care as well. They help us getting through the difficulties, take care of us to rid the illness, or just hang out with us to have fun. We share a lot with our friends and treasure their feelings as ourselves’. Sometimes a bitter dispute or quarrel may break out among us, but we always become reconciled at the end because the true friends don’t leave us easily and so do us. Thus, no matter how intense a competition among a group of friends, their strong friendship won’t be destroyed or even affected.

What's more, in most cases, the competition among friends brings positive motivation to everyone. Competition is a process during which we don't merely focus on exploring our own potentials. In order to perform better, we need to learn from our competitors and even share with them. Since our friends are willing to help us make progress and we would like to point out their weaknesses even during a competition, choosing our friends as our competitors would be a leading choice. Takes my experience as an example. When I was in middle school, our English teacher asked us to recite the articles from the textbook. At first, I didn't care about this homework at all. However, soon I found that some of my friends decided to compete everyday to be the first one making it. I joined immediately and spared no effort to do the work. We were together to practice the article everyday and the first one finished reciting would be so pound. There is no doubt that all of us made great progress in English because even during the competition, we shared experiences and effective ways to learn. Since the competition among my friends and I propelled each of us to advance, I could safely draw the conclusion that competition among friends will bring positive effect on every competitor.

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