issue 27 马上要考了 大家看看这么写能得多少分

ShurenQUID: 3492102

27. In any field of inquiry, the beginner is more likely than the expert to make important contributions.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

Time: 11:55-12:27   word 413

What is an expert? An expert is an individual who has the ability and experience to accomplish a certain task skillfully in a given field. In contrast, a beginner is a person who newly entered a realm and has very limited experience. The statement saying that a beginner is more likely to make important contributions than an expert no matter in what field is extremely over simplified the issue. In my opinion, the issue is depended on a case-by-case basis.

To begin with, I have to concede that, to a certain extent, new comers can make some contributions in a particular field. Experts, as we know, though have rich experience and knowledge toward a field, sometimes are too complacence to break established rules. Indeed, It is hard for them to think outside the box. But for beginners, they are less circumscribed by orthodox and more likely to bring new ideas in. Those new ideas can turn into a corner stone to a problem, which is unsolved by experts. By this way, beginners contribute the field.

However, experiences and knowledge are curial in making contributions because innovations mostly depend on a deep understanding of a field. Beginners, as defined before, are lack of experiences and deep understanding in a certain field where they just entered. They have long way to go and so many things to learn. Even though they have passion and enthusiasm to make a difference in a particular field, they are still too naïve to carry out their ideas, or sometimes, just allusion. On the other hand, experts can distinguish doable ideas and impossible allusions by using their experiences. This is why there are so many young professors writing proposals but only few of them get grants. Young professors are beginners in their research field. They have passion to do many researches on many aspects. Some of their proposals are “good” because it is meaningful and more likely to make contributions to the field they studies. Others are “bad” because they are not really innovative and probably cannot contribute society. Why beginners’ ideas have to be reviewed by committee members, or in other word, experts, in order to get funding? Because beginners are lack of experiences and experts have the vision to know what is contributing the field they studied.

In a nutshell, saying beginners are more likely to make contributions in any fields than experts are over simplified the issue. Whether contributions are made or not depends on many factors.

jennysweet5513UID: 3481812

我是GRE新人，在13年12月底开始着手准备，计划14年4月参加考试，所以在文章写作上经验甚少，但是仍旧希望通过文章互评这样的环节来提高写作水平，若有评论不当的地方敬请谅解，也期冀能有热心网友多加评论。
首先，从文章是否符合题目的institution上来分析。1.institution要求我们提出自己的观点和产生此观点的原因。2.进一步分析，如果你认为此观点是正确的，那么你需要指出在何种情况下此观点成立；如果你认为此观点有局限性，那么你也要提出在何种情况下题中的观点就是错误的。3.最后，你对这些情况的分析结果，支撑了你的结论。我认为本文完全按照institution要求的逻辑思路展开论述，十分符合标准。这一点我要好好学习。
第二，每个段落的逻辑分析。下面粘来全文进行分析：
What is an expert? An expert is an individual who has the ability and experience to accomplish a certain task skillfully in a given field. In contrast, a beginner is a person who newly entered a realm and has very limited experience. The statement saying that a beginner is more likely to make important contributions than an expert no matter in what field is extremely over simplified the issue. In my opinion, the issue is depended on a case-by-case basis. （此段作为完成institution中关于“hold your position and explain your reasoning for the position you take”的要求而写作的，但是我认为position还是不够明确，也没有简单地reasoning一下。是否考虑加上一句“Making important contributions depends not only on the passion and the brain storming from the beginners, but also on the experience from the experts accumulated by numerous failure and success. Passion and experience are both the critical factors in the procedure of making contributions to the society.)

To begin with, I have to concede that, to a certain extent, new comers can make some contributions in a particular field. Experts, as we know, though have rich experience and knowledge toward a field, sometimes are too complacence to break established rules. Indeed, It is hard for them to think outside the box. But for beginners, they are less circumscribed by orthodox and more likely to bring new ideas in. Those new ideas can turn into a corner stone to a problem, which is unsolved by experts. By this way, beginners contribute the field. (此段为了完成institution中关于“In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.”的要求而写作的。我认为此段的论述不够充分，只是用experts无法突破制度约束来反证beginners可以bring new ideas，和下一段的论述篇幅不成比例~~~我认为应在此基础上进一步论述你描述的境况，以及how these considerations shape your position.~~~可以考虑例证说明

However, experiences and knowledge are curial in making contributions because innovations mostly depend on a deep understanding of a field. Beginners, as defined before, are lack of experiences and deep understanding in a certain field where they just entered. They have long way to go and so many things to learn. Even though they have passion and enthusiasm to make a difference in a particular field, they are still too naïve to carry out their ideas, or sometimes, just allusion. On the other hand, experts can distinguish doable ideas and impossible allusions by using their experiences. This is why there are so many young professors writing proposals but only few of them get grants. Young professors are beginners in their research field. They have passion to do many researches on many aspects. Some of their proposals are “good” because it is meaningful and more likely to make contributions to the field they studies. Others are “bad” because they are not really innovative and probably cannot contribute society. Why beginners’ ideas have to be reviewed by committee members, or in other word, experts, in order to get funding? Because beginners are lack of experiences and experts have the vision to know what is contributing the field they studied.（我认为此段比较符合institution关于“you should consider ways in which the statement might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.”的要求的。”通过课题评审这样的实例来说明，我觉得还可以更具体化，比方说经济学课题评审，expert因为具有丰富经验，他会了解哪些领域已经被过度研究或者是否有成效，哪些问题对现行经济问题具有指导意义，可以更好地指导beginner少走弯路。）

In a nutshell, saying beginners are more likely to make contributions in any fields than experts are over simplified the issue. Whether contributions are made or not depends on many factors.（我觉得结尾在点出institution关于“explain how these considerations shape your position”上还有欠缺，可以简单地描述下“正是基于对于passion of beginners and experience of experts 在making important contributions 中的不同作用，我认为巴拉巴拉~~~）
第三，文章的行文文采。这个我真的没有资格去评论，因为我的单词量水平以及语法水平均不高，自己写出的文章文采平平，用简单词汇堆砌逻辑，还会经常出现语法错误。希望我能在大量的练习后有所提高。
最后的最后呢，希望大家能多多评价我的习作呀！https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1695216-1-1.html谢谢大家！