issue60 对问题文章的激烈讨论

icyscorpioUID: 146659

060
60. "The media—and society in general—mistakenly expect an individual to speak for a particular group, whether or not that individual truly represents the views of the entire group."
媒体和整个社会错误地希望某个人的发言就是代表了某一个特定的群体，无论这个个人是否代表了整个群体的意见。
少数和多数之发表意见


As we all known, Coco Cola produce a serious of advertisements which the topic is the cool and light-hearted feeling by drinking this world-famous soft drink.  The advertisements’ actor or actress, such as one of the most celebrated Chinese film star, Zhang Ziyi, could go by the name of an individual to speak for a particular group that love and support Coco Cola company.  Do the media mistakenly expect this kind of behavior, without knowing whether that individual truly represents the views of the entire group?  In my point of view,

For one thing, every developed and developing group immediately requests a proper individual to speak for the whole group so as to enhance the efficiency of the group.  The media, and society in general, expect the emergence of a representative for a special group, do not mean that they eager to find an individual to represents the views of the whole group.  For many well-organized groups, especially some successful commercial companies and manufactures factories, a representative is a standard and example, maybe he/she is not the best, and even he/she could not speak for someone in the group.  To demonstrate this point plainly and undoubtedly, here is an example that is very persuasive and believable.  Chinese aeronautics industry 601 institute has established a criterion of how to draw design and manufacture pictures using the software CATIA.  That is, adopting a person’s method and process of drawing to union the diversified approaches of different people.  In this way, every people could understand and utilize the data form the pictures of others without any hardness.  Therefore, to share the resource fluently, it is imperative to have an individual to speak for the group.

Furthermore, if the media or the society pay no attention on the representative of a particular group, it is inevitable that some group would not have the opportunity to show their products or their group’s spirit and culture.  The consequence of lacking this necessary communication between the mass and the group would obviously lead to missing of support and trust.  I will sequentially present the paradigm about Coca Cola, which is one of the most vigorous corporations in the carbonic acid drink among the furious competition.  The primary objective for using some stars to represent the company is that these health people just coincide with its product and the company’s culture which is vigorous and aspiring.  Come under the influence of these representatives, more and more people would love the product and then become the firm supporter to this group.

However, long for an individual to represent a particular group, to some extent, is worthless and unadvisable.  In the present age, every one wants to maximize his/her individual benefit, besides the group’s common benefit.  Hence, it is quite possible that such a spokesman could not be found out to present the diverse requirements.  For example, most of the media assume that the chief executive officer is a powerful spokesman for a group as a matter of course.  But, as the case stand, innumerous CEOs have been fired by the directorate, in respect that their some crucial determinations made by them do not represent the whole staff’s inclination.  So, considering the complex distribution of interest, an individual’s opinion is difficult to reflect that of the total group.

Accordingly, sometimes, the media – and social in general - are too hasty to find a really representative to speak for a particular group; this fulsome behavior could not lead to the expected result.  Nevertheless, people should have an explicit understand it is undoubted that a powerful and proper spokesman or representative might efficiently and effectively accelerate the development of a group.


(609)

fishergirlUID: 152325

怎么跟上课一样啊？是不是在中国，哪儿哪儿都流行这个呀？呵呵，我晚上看。

icyscorpioUID: 146659

两位真行啊，感谢感谢，还占地来看。无限感动中。。。。。。。

我一定会成功^_^UID: 138474

As we all known(怎么感觉很别扭?应该是As well known吧?), Coco Cola produces a serious(serials?) of advertisements(这是不是少一个适当的介词?要不感觉后面不顺,of?) which the topic is the cool and light-hearted feeling by drinking this world-famous soft drink. The advertisements’ actor or actress, such as one of the most celebrated Chinese film star, Zhang Ziyi, could go by the name of an individual to speak for a particular group that love and support(loving and supporting ) Coco Cola company. Do the media mistakenly expect this kind of behavior, without knowing whether that individual truly represents the views of the entire group?(这句话没写完吧?) In my point of view, (……..?????你的观点呢?)

For one thing, every developed and(or) developing group immediately requests a proper individual to speak for the whole group so as to enhance the efficiency of the group. The media, and society in general, expect(expects?) the emergence of a representative for a special group, which do(does) not mean that they eager to find an individual to represents(represent,还是老毛病!) the views of the whole group. For many well-organized groups, especially some successful commercial companies and manufactures factories, a representative is a standard and example, maybe he/she is not the best, and even he/she could not speak for someone in the group.(这句话的maybe前后的内容逻辑上好像不一致吧?而且感觉maybe用得也不是很恰当) To demonstrate this point plainly and undoubtedly, here is an example that is very persuasive and believable. Chinese aeronautics industry 601 institute has established a criterion of how to draw design and manufacture pictures using the software CATIA. That is, adopting a person’s method and process of drawing to union the diversified approaches of different people. In this way, every people could understand and utilize the data form(from,注意拼写哦!) the pictures of others without any hardness. Therefore, to share the resource fluently, it is imperative to have an individual to speak for the group.
(我觉得你这段写得不错!)

Furthermore, if the media or the society pay(pays?我也拿不准,大家探讨一下如何?) no attention on the representative of a particular group, it is inevitable that some group(s) would not have the opportunity to show their products or their group’s spirit and culture. The consequence of lacking this necessary communication between the mass and the group would obviously lead to missing of support and trust. I will sequentially present the paradigm about Coca Cola, which is one of the most vigorous corporations in the carbonic acid drink among(in) the furious competition. The primary objective(根据从句中的内容,这个词应该是原因而不是目的) for(of) using some stars to represent the company is that these health people just coincide with its product and the company’s culture which is vigorous and aspiring. Come under(Under我觉得这样更好一些,你用的那个表达法我觉得很别扭,也许我这个金山词霸的版本低了点“开始受。。。影响”) the influence of these representatives, more and more people would love the product and then become the firm supporter to this group.
(这段写得不太好,TS太空了,论证也很泛.我也常常遇到这种情况,郁闷呀,不知怎么才能写好?)

However, long(longing) for an individual to represent a particular group, to some extent, is worthless and unadvisable. In the present age, every one wants to maximize his/her individual benefit, besides the group’s common benefit. Hence, it is quite possible that such a spokesman could not be found out to present(meet?) the diverse requirements. For example, most of the media assume that the chief executive officer is a powerful spokesman for a group as a matter of course. But, as the case stand(看不明白!), innumerous CEOs have been fired by the directorate, in respect that their some crucial determinations made by them(themselves) do not represent the whole staff’s inclination. So, considering the complex distribution of interest, an individual’s opinion is difficult to reflect that of the total group.
(这段的转折感觉太牵强了,不够smoothly,也许加一句话就可以了.但是论证好像比上段强.)
Accordingly, sometimes, the media – and social(society) in general - are too hasty to find a really representative to speak for a particular group; this fulsome behavior could not lead to the expected result. Nevertheless, people should have an explicit understand(换成comprehension吧,这是动词!). It is undoubted that a powerful and proper spokesman or representative might efficiently and effectively accelerate the development of a group.

(609)

icyscorpioUID: 146659

as the case stands [简明英汉词典]
adv.事实上
金山词霸上查的。

那些小错我太多了，多谢提醒。但估计一时半会不这样了，尽力尽力。

对了，还有开头段，是忘了写最后一句自己的观点了。因为我比较犹豫，到底这样先交待一个例子的开头怎么样，而且这个例子还要在后面继续论证用，所以不知道如何区分一下比较好。如果是我的观点，我觉得先这样写一个例子引出有悖于开门见山的写法，所以还在怀疑中。
各位的看法呢？？
是不是还要传统一点的写法比较稳妥？我到是觉得主体三段要写的传统一点，至于开头和结尾，如果能发挥一下还是好一点的。望高人指点。版主能不能抽空看一看啊？

lovebrianUID: 157127

我再看看得说~~嗯

icyscorpioUID: 146659

不知道怎么回事了，本以为自己已经自圆其说了，觉得这题真是挺BT的，一会我再想想吧。

lovebrianUID: 157127

自圆其说是对的~~呵呵~~你做得也不错~~就是引入代表一说~~~我认为凭空了

icyscorpioUID: 146659

这个问题我注意到了，只是自己在审题后，觉得像我那样的方法把“媒体是不是错误的认为一个人可以代表集体”发展一下，或是说换一种表达的方法，说成“一个人代表集体是有一些必要性的（同时承认有不好的地方）”，再从这层意思上说“因此媒体和社会并没有错”。
这样解释可以吗？
是不是还有点迁强？？

希望以后都有你的帮助。
我4.13考。

icyscorpioUID: 146659

给自己贴两个优秀区的链接：
http://edu.gter.net/bbs/showthread.php?s=&threadid=136023
http://edu.gter.net/bbs/showthread.php?s=&threadid=165143

lovebrianUID: 157127

不用太客气了阿~~呵呵~~~
我觉得写代表就有点牵强哦
看看范文把

fishergirlUID: 152325

呵呵，听说这里发生了激烈的思想碰撞，赶快来学习一下的说 :D

首先，icyscorpio的文章现在看来是有偏题的倾向，好像把焦点集中到“是否需要一个代表”上了。题目“媒体和整个社会错误地希望能有某个个体来代表一个特定的群体发言，无论这个个人能否真正的代表整个群体的意见。”，应该是讨论这种态度正确与否，而不是这个代表是否应该存在。不过，如果你能够想你所说，绕一下，还是可以自圆其说，并且拉回到主题上来的。

其次，例子的问题，按照你的中心－－是否有必要找一个代表，那应该是没有跑的，但是要按照题目的本意，感觉就有点不太贴切了。

再次，however，是一个典型的表转折的词，不是让步，我们做阅读时，不是只要看到这个词，就知道作者对于前面的观点绝对持否定态度吗？所以，难怪狒狒会觉得你否定了自己 :)

不过，说实话，我现在也开始有点糊涂了，到底焦点在哪里？mistake?

icyscorpioUID: 146659

再来讨论一下。
首先得谢谢fishergirl的关注。感谢感谢。
然后，我看了看优秀区的那个例子，第二个链接是好的，第一个题目不对。
第二个写的是平衡的观点。各位有时间可以去看看，版主说最少5分啊。可是我没看出来。
据说关键词是“mistakenly”和“expect”。

我把孙远的新版书的上的提纲粘上来。
position: There is high risk that the media and society may place unrealistically high expectation on an individual's ability to represent a particular group.
对于社会和来说，不现实的过高期待一个个体来代表整体是很冒险的。
1. The interviewees - usually chosen by chance - presented through the media cannot represent either the whole public or a particular group.
2. Even in a so-called democratic country, the representative chosen by a particular group on the basis of majority rule are not supposed to speak for the minority of that group.
3. In an age of mass society, it is neseccary for society to remain sensitive to the limitations of representatives to represent the public and to heart the voices of the forgotten majority.

我觉得他比较向媒体和社会的认识这方面上靠近，这是我的文章中没有写到的。
另外，我觉得他的第三点比较好。前两点说的也是个体代表不了集体。

所以，我觉得我的问题是没有很好的扣住题。审题做的还不够仔细。
下次一定不能落下题目中的每一个词。

劳烦各位有空再给想想分析分析。

万分感谢！
各位好运！！

xqmelissaUID: 140370

你的悄悄话信箱满了
没办法,把我的回复贴给你吧:

呵呵
我可不牛
现在被折磨的也死去活来的

明天看吧,今天实在累了

不过观点不同很正常啊
别着急别上火啊

lionelUID: 51199

我都不知道应该怎么说才好。文章首句话就在兜圈子，实在没搞懂这葫芦里卖的是什么药。耐着性子看下去，结果还没有观点。相信阅卷老师看到这里以后，心里已经预备好要给的分数了。 写英语的作文，一定要开门见山。