GRE作文6分教学博客

bit_liangUID：3643530

tesolchina 发表于 2015-10-8 22:16
你的第二段 整段没有提到solve problem  写了很多关于生活如何方便 却没有回应题目中的关键词
希望其他同 ...

老师，ISSUE 01修改了一下。
https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... amp;fromuid=3643530

另外写了一篇ARGUMENT 的提纲，请您看一下是否过关。
https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... amp;fromuid=3643530
谢谢老师！

tesolchinaUID：2191404

bit_liang 发表于 2015-10-10 16:33
老师，ISSUE 01修改了一下。
https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mod=redirect&goto=findpost&ptid=1883374& ...

你修改的时候请保留之前的版本
另外 请将文章之间贴过来

bit_liangUID：3643530

tesolchina 发表于 2015-10-11 10:56
你修改的时候请保留之前的版本
另外 请将文章之间贴过来

好的老师，您看一下这样贴上来可以不。
ISSUE 01

As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

一稿

Whether our ability to think creatively will deteriorate or not depends on which field technologies are applied to. In ordinary life, it may hold true that we are losing our ability to think independently. In the field of science and technology, people will not lose the opportunities to think by themselves. For the ones who study the process of thinking , technologies also cannot replace them in critical thinking.


the ability of humans to think for themselves 这是题目 你却说的是our ability to think creatively  这样篡改题目不好吧
你去看我的范文主旨句 是很清晰将人分类  
it may hold true that we are 这里的we指的是谁 是否包括后面说的科学家？   

感觉你开头段还没写过关啊  





Thanks to the development of technologies, our life is becoming more and more convenient. We can reach our family easily with mobile phones, we are freed from onerous housework by washing-machines and we can see the photos if we want from digital cameras. Meanwhile, time for making decisions by ourselves are becoming less and less. For example, decades ago, families enjoy their weekends in numerous ways, they went out for hiking, they read in the libraries, they played basketball in the stadium. But now, with powerful recreational function of iPads and TVs, more families choose to spend their spare time at home, watching movies or playing games. In other words, they just enjoy the entertainment these electronic devices bring us without finding out what else they could do to make themselves or their families relaxed.

Fortunately, our jobs keep us from losing ourselves in these small screens. For the scientists and engineers who are responsible for developing technologies, there is no doubt that they rely more on their own thinking than that of machines. While create a new device, engineers will surely use existing software or facilities to realize their thoughts. For example, during the initial design phase, technicians usually draw prototypes out in digital design software. Compared with the traditional designing method, this process saves much time revising the material models. However, the competitiveness of a designer is not reflected from skills to use such software, but the ability to bring his imagination into reality, and this procedure cannot be accomplished without his own thinking.

Similarly, for people who devote themselves to the study of the process of thinking, such as philosophy or sociology, technologies are also indispensable. In analyzing the surveys and statistics, computer software are the most efficient methods. But they never focus on the software itself, they concentrate on how these numbers can be applied to a theory and no software could replace these professionals in digging the relations out.

In a word, in recent years, technologies have changed our life completely. It may hold true that we are depending more on different machines in ordinary life. However, during our work time, no matter how functional these tools can be, the principle problems can only be solved by our own critical thinking.

老师的修改建议：

你的第二段 整段没有提到solve problem  写了很多关于生活如何方便 却没有回应题目中的关键词
希望其他同学也引以为鉴
另外这个句子的表达也有问题time for making decisions by ourselves are becoming less and less.   
写成 we spent less time ...


二稿

Whether our ability of think creatively will deteriorate or not depends on differences of the fields technologies are applied in. In ordinary life, it may hold true that we are losing our ability to think independently. In the field of science and technology, people will not lose the opportunities to think by themselves. For the ones who study the process of thinking , technologies also cannot replace human in critical thinking.

Thanks to the development of technologies, solving problems in our everyday life is becoming easier. We can reach our family easily with our mobile phones, we are freed from onerous housework by washing-machines. Meanwhile, we are spending less time to make decisions by ourselves. For example, decades ago, to choose how to spend their weekends with their families, people have exploited their creativity, they went out for hiking, they read in the libraries, they played basketball in the stadium. But now, with powerful recreation function of iPads and TVs, more families choose to spend their spare time at home, watching movies or playing games. In other words, they just enjoy the entertainment these electronic devices bring us without finding out what else they could do to make their children happy.

Fortunately, our jobs keep us thinking all the time. For the scientists and engineers who are responsible for developing technologies, there is no doubt that they rely more on their own thinking than that of machines. While create a new device, engineers will surely use existing software or facilities to bring their imagination into reality. For example, during the initial design phase, technicians usually draw the prototype out in digital design software and compared with the time without this technology, this process will save much time revising the material models. However, the strongest competence of a designer is not the skills to use such software, but the ability to bring his imagination into reality, and this procedure cannot be accomplished without his own thinking.

Similarly, for people who devote themselves to the study of the process of thinking, such as philosophy or sociology, technologies are also indispensable. In analyzing the surveys and statistics, computer software are always the most efficient methods. But they never focus on these software itself, they pay more attention on how these numbers can be applied to a theory and no software could replace these professionals in digging the relations out.

In a word, in recent years, technologies have changed our life completely. It may hold true that we are depending more on different machines in ordinary life. However, during our work time, no matter how functional these tools can be, the principle problems can only be solved by our critical thinking.

Argument 71 提纲

The following is a letter to the editor of the Waymarsh Times.

Traffic here in Waymarsh is becoming a problem. Although just three years ago a state traffic survey showed that the typical driving commuter took 20 minutes to get to work, the commute now takes closer to 40 minutes, according to the survey just completed. Members of the town council already have suggested more road building to address the problem, but as well as being expensive, the new construction will surely disrupt some of our residential neighborhoods. It would be better to follow the example of the nearby city of Garville. Last year Garville implemented a policy that rewards people who share rides to work, giving them coupons for free gas. Pollution levels in Garville have dropped since the policy was implemented, and people from Garville tell me that commuting times have fallen considerably. There is no reason why a policy like Garville's shouldn't work equally well in Waymarsh.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

结论：
It would be better to follow the example of the nearby city of Garville.

证据：
1.Although just three years ago a state traffic survey showed that the typical driving commuter took 20 minutes to get to work, the commute now takes closer to 40 minutes, according to the survey just completed.

2.Members of the town council already have suggested more road building to address the problem, but as well as being expensive, the new construction will surely disrupt some of our residential neighborhoods.

3.Last year Garville implemented a policy that rewards people who share rides to work, giving them coupons for free gas. Pollution levels in Garville have dropped since the policy was implemented, and people from Garville tell me that commuting times have fallen considerably.

开头段：
In this letter, the author suggests that Waymarsh should implement policies similar to that of the city of Garville to solve the traffic problem. The advice is based on state surveys about commuting time and some advantage impacts of the rewarding policies in Garville. To fully evaluate the suggestion, we need more information about the traffic survey, the specific layout of the city of Waymarsh, and details of what happened in Garville last year.

中间段第一段（回应原文Although just three years ago a state traffic survey showed that the typical driving commuter took 20 minutes to get to work, the commute now takes closer to 40 minutes, according to the survey just completed.中的 state survey 和 commuting time rise ）

Firstly, the writer refers to state surveys showing that average commuting time has risen from 20 minutes to 40 minutes. However, we need evidence that traffic is truly deteriorating in Waymarsh. 全国性的调查不一定适用于W市, 有可能W市的通勤时间实际上变化很小或者是下降。 就算W市的通勤时间确实上升，也并不一定代表有交通问题。可能随着经济、工业发展，W市变得越来越大，人们的住地和工作的地方越来越远，通勤时间自然上升，而交通不一定拥堵。

你这是写的提纲么


中间第二段（回应原文Members of the town council already have suggested more road building to address the problem, but as well as being expensive, the new construction will surely disrupt some of our residential neighborhoods.中的 expensive 和  disrupt some of our residential neighborhoods）

The letter argues that new road constructing will spend more and make intolerant noise in the neighborhoods. To determine whether we should solve the traffic problem by building new roads, we need analysis about costs of road building and other solvents. What's more, knowing how the city is organized is necessary to make the choice. 通过道路建设和其他解决办法的成本分析，我们才可以知道修路是否真的比较贵。假设G市的奖励政策确实有效，也有可能奖励政策的成本实际上比修路还高。另外，知道具体的城市布局，我们才能知道修路是否真的会扰民。也许我们可以找到一条路线，即可以改善交通问题，又避开了主要的居民区。

中间第三段（回应原文Last year Garville implemented a policy that rewards people who share rides to work, giving them coupons for free gas. Pollution levels in Garville have dropped since the policy was implemented, and people from Garville tell me that commuting times have fallen considerably.中 pollution levels have dropped 和 commuting times have fallen ）

In addition, the declines in pollution of Garcville and time of commuting may not attribute to the implements. We need to know what else about pollution and traffic conditions have happened in Garville last year.如果G市去年将产生污染的工厂都搬到了市外，G市的污染情况也会好转。另外，如果G市去年新修的道路刚好开通，或者开通了新的公共交通方式，比如地铁，那么通勤时间必然也会下降。总之，G市的情况并不一定适合W市。

与范文对比：
1.没有考查调查方式的问题；
2.注意中间段的总结；
3.段间的过渡词。

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

10.18 回复老师问题：

1.

the ability of humans to think for themselves 这是题目 你却说的是our ability to think creatively  这样篡改题目不好吧
你去看我的范文主旨句 是很清晰将人分类  
it may hold true that we are 这里的we指的是谁 是否包括后面说的科学家？   

感觉你开头段还没写过关啊  

老师，我的想法是将题目变个说法说，以免语言重复。开头回应题目时是应该不改动题目是么？
我这里we指的是全人类...包括后面的科学家，科学家在日常生活（不是工作）中的思考能力也会下降。

2.

你这是写的提纲么

仔细看了老师对ARGUMENT提纲的要求写的...

格密柯特瓦UID：3611390

tesolchina 发表于 2014-11-22 21:16
有版主提醒我不要让组员在版面上发全文，否则可能会被ETS索引而导致被判抄袭。对于这个问题，我其实有点怀疑 ...

哈哈哈哈哈

tobinzUID：3239969

今天写了第二篇。问题在文章后，谢谢老师点评。

The following appeared in a memorandum from the manager of WWAC radio station.
       
To reverse a decline in listener numbers, our owners have decided that WWAC must change from its current rock-music format. The decline has occurred despite population growth in our listening area, but that growth has resulted mainly from people moving here after their retirement. We must make listeners of these new residents. We could switch to a music format tailored to their tastes, but a continuing decline in local sales of recorded music suggests limited interest in music. Instead we should change to a news and talk format, a form of radio that is increasingly popular in our area.       

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A manager in WWAC radio station suggests they should change its current rock-music format to a news and talk format to attract listeners on the basis of decrease in listeners, more retired dwellers, people's dwindled interests in recorded music and people’s increasing affinity for news and talk formats. To evaluate the soundness of the suggestion, we need to collect information about the proportion of retired people in this area, other channels citizens can have access to music and causes of their bad performance.

To begin with, we should consider how many the retired citizens account for the whole population in this area. Although people's growth mainly stem from retired people, they might account for only a small fraction of all citizens. For example, senior citizens might merely make up of 10 percent, implying the music arrangement tailed to them would be misleading. Hence, without figuring out this information, it is hasty to change their programs.

Also, we need to glean information about possible means people could get access to music. The manager argues that decrease in sales of recorded music signifies people's flagging interests in music. However, people may have other less expensive, convenient ways to listen to music. For example, citizens could use their smart phones and Ipads to download music online or pay small quantity of money for listening those euphonious music. In that case, there might be growing interests in music among citizens. Hence it is not sensible to conclude people have lost interests in music before we can collect such information.

Moreover, we need more information to justify the claim that news and talk format is increasingly popular. Because a news and talk format might be popular recently due to particular reasons. For example, the city might hold an important international sports game or neighboring country was hit by severe earthquake, leading citizens tend to listen news and talk programs. However, people's interests may begin to dwindle in the near future. In addition, we should also define "increasingly popular", which might mean an increase from 3 percent of people to 5 percent. Although it goes up significantly, there are still few listeners. Hence, without further information, we can not determine whether the number could continue to increase and the extent to which it would increase.

In conclusion, it is careless to recommend changing radio programs for the radio station. More information is needed before the station can make better adjustment.

我最近也看了一些范文，对常见错误有了基本了解。关于本文写的一些问题想向老师请教：

1. 三个论点句合适否？感觉没有老师论证范围广，视角还是有些窄，但是感觉自己抓住主要点了。

2. 文中，尤其是第三段，是否有表意不清？有些话写的时候不太确定是否准确。

3. 如果写的时候发现可以有4点甚至5点可以反驳，但是有些点比较小，另外加一段担心写不长，可否和其他话题类似段落合并成一段？但是开头段不用指明这个点。

谢谢您！

tesolchinaUID：2191404

tobinz 发表于 2015-10-11 23:34
今天写了第二篇。问题在文章后，谢谢老师点评。

The following appeared in a memorandum from the mana ...

我觉得不管是写文章还是找人改文章都要好好考虑读者或者老师看到你的东西后回怎么想。你列出具体问题的做法是很好的，但是你问我觉得桑格论点句合适否，我就得逐句去看。我说过针对argument，整个题库我都写了提纲或范文。你不要问我你的论点是否合适，而应该这样问

这道题我的论点和老师的论点分别是这样的

我的....
老师的....
比较：

我的....
老师的....
比较：

我的....
老师的....
比较：

综上，我的问题是 ...

另外，我在博客顶楼建议先写某两道题

我还在探索某种更高效率的点评模式
有任何问题或建议请提出  

另外我想知道我的博客你看了多少
在我没有时间细看你的文章时 建议你多看我的博客
尤其是多做动作分析
就是仔细想想我的每句话在做什么 然后你看看你的每句话又在做什么

TrueyangUID：3642895

ISSUE 10/31/63/67/125/148这个系列已经刷完了，基本是从老师的ISSUE31引申出的架构，两段反驳STATEMENT的观点，最后一段address the most compelling opposition could be used to challenge my position 加起来基本是3段全在反驳了.时间把控上我再努努力，请老师和同学给提提看法喂
https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... amp;fromuid=3642895

格密柯特瓦UID：3611390

tesolchina 发表于 2015-5-28 11:02
53     If a goal is worthy, then any means taken to attain it are justifiable.

Write a response ...

三个点都是十分新鲜的例子，观点也棒，真乃大神也

Lester_UID：3244454

这个博客看了几天了，才没看多少页。感叹3年前考G的时候没有这么系统的教程和指导，当年时间紧迫，AW完全是放弃的心态，在几乎没写过一篇完整文章的情况下得了3.5，靠的还是托福的底子。
今年准备国内考研，一门专业课就是写作，因为和aw的issue较像，所以又过来和aw纠缠了。。这次时间更加紧迫，也不知道何时能够写全文。老师的建议还是先列提纲吗？

bit_liangUID：3643530

今日俗事缠身，没有好好学习，罪过...
回答老师的问题直接编辑了：
https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... amp;fromuid=3643530

另外今天用 Scoreitnow！ 写了一遍ISSUE和ARGUMENT，ISSUE计时写的太差了，修改了一遍提交的，ARGUMENT直接计时写作提交的。结果ISSUE 4分， ARGUMENT 3 分。看来修改还是比较有效以及 ARGUMENT 还是弱爆的...准备修改修改这两篇再买一次 Scoreitnow！看一下，为了尽快结束GRE的战斗，肉疼...
贴一下原文吧。

ISSUE 06

A nation should require all of its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how those examples shape your position.

Your Answer:
There is no doubt that a nation should pay much attention in education. As we know, college students can choose what they want to learn by themselves. It is recommended that a country should require every student to learn the same before they attend universities. I agree that it is favorable to implement this recommendation for students in less developed districts, and for universities to arrange courses. Nevertheless, it will strict the multi-faced growing up for students in more developed regions.

For some poor provinces, providing the same curriculum may be better. Since there is no efficient resource for children in these places, it is more important to provide them the most fundamental education. For example, developing fitting sets of books specifically for students to learn sounds great. But in some poor regions, the local government will spend too much to create teaching material so that the teaching quality cannot be assured. Using uniform courses is better in terms of this as the teaching schedule is made by the nation government so that the teaching quality can be the same all over the country.

What‘s more, in colleges, students from all over the country live in the same campus, studying the same content in the class. If different education is provided before college, It may happen that students from different places are differently capable to learn the same curriculum. To ensure that every student could understand what they learn in college, learning the same before college may be the best way.

However, in more rich districts, in other words, in places education are more developed, diversity of curriculum maybe more advantageous for students. Based on the situation that all students can access to sufficient educational resources, choosing their own curriculum could bring them more creativity. For example, for students who have learned sufficient basic knowledge, if they can choose what else to learn, they may choose football, basketball in sports, or painting, dancing in arts. Compared with some fundamental subjects such as writing or math, these skills may be more important in making the children who they are in the future.

In a word, in terms of the teaching quality and applicability to universities, the recommendation that requiring every student to learn the same may be better. However, for students in more developed regions, this advice maybe disadvantageous.


ARGUMENT 20

The following is a memorandum from the business manager of a television station.

"Over the past year, our late-night news program has devoted increased time to national news and less time to weather and local news. During this time period, most of the complaints received from viewers were concerned with our station's coverage of weather and local news. In addition, local businesses that used to advertise during our late-night news program have just canceled their advertising contracts with us. Therefore, in order to attract more viewers to the program and to avoid losing any further advertising revenues, we should restore the time devoted to weather and local news to its former level."

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

Your Answer:
In this memo, the manager suggests that the television station should restore the former time of weather and local news. The recommendation is based on the complaints of the viewers and decreasing advertising of local business. To fully evaluate the suggestion, more information is necessary about the complaints, the watching consequence of this TV station and the local businesses.

Firstly, we need more information about the complaint of viewers before the TV station changed the broadcast schedule. The manager claims that the station received advice about increasing time of weather and local news. However, it may happen that the audience complained even more about these programs before the adjustment. If so, the decreasing of such programs did not bring more complaints from the audience and the suggestion is also weakened.

What's more, evidence about the specific watching rate of the station is necessary to assess the manager's advice. From the memorandum, we cannot conclude that less people are watching channels run by the station. So we need a survey among the region that how many people are watching this TV station now. Only through comparing the number with the statistics before the change can we find out whether the decreasing of weather and local news making the station attracting less people.

Finally, to fully evaluate the suggestion, we also cannot neglect the advertising of local businesses. Admitted that people are watching less programs from this TV station, this may not the reason why the advertising is becoming less. With the development of the Internet and mobile phones, selling products on the websites or on mobile phones may be a more efficient way. Based on this situation, it may happen that local companies spend more on advertising though a more developed method. If these companies are truly spending more in other ways for propaganda, the manager's advice cannot bring back the revenue from advertising.

In a word, to evaluate the manager's suggestion, we need more evidence about the audience, the TV station and the local businesses.

ssphiaUID：3461542

之前考过一次，AW特别烂，那天看了老师的1+3模式感觉人生打开了新的大门，写了Issue15和Argu85，希望能点评一下。是直接贴在这吗？
Issue(15) Educational institutions should actively encourage their students to choose fields of study that will prepare them for lucrative careers.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

As the cradles of education, educational institutions should provide students with independent learning environment in which they can study whatever they are interested in or dedicated to. If the schools tailor the courses to suit lucrative employment , it is not beneficial for the students' future, because we can never predict what career will earn nuch more money. Meanwhile, they need to encourage student to study majors which are tough but can indeed advance human development. And then, I will address the argument that to live a better life, it is better to choose majors that will get lucrative careers.

As we all know, finance and economy are always the popular courses in the schools. Many schools, especially the financial schools, all the courses are about how to be an accountant or economists. Students are push to get the certificates of CFA or CPA, which will lay a solid path for their future career. However, never can a career be prosperous forever. In 2008, the serious financial crisis broke out in USA, leading to numerous unemployment. Many people could not find a new job because all they only had was a knack in finance. That's the harmfulness if the schools only encourage students to study what can be prepared for their jobs. Therefore, schools should encourage them to choose what they really like, not just for a good paid in the future, as well as more skills.

What's more, schools need to encourage students to learn some majors like computer sciences, physics,chemistry and biology. There is no doubt that they are difficult to learn, but without them, technology and science cannot develop rapidly. The advent of network renders the world become global and boosts the international commerce. Notwithstanding the fact that students need to lead a painstaking life in the labs, doing countless experiments, if they choose to be scientists, but the breakthrough they make are marvelous! For instance, hybrid cars,wind power station and many other solutions have been created to save the resource. Many diseases have been cured by the founding of biologists. Consequently, for a better future of mankind, schools should encourage students to devote their energy in meaningful fields.

I know, schools may argue that they want the students can have bright prospect,getting high paid jobs, so they encourage them choose fields of study that will prepare them for lucrative careers. Nevertheless, as I mentioned the financial crisis above, we cannot predict what will happen in the future. Maybe one career will be replaced by another one, and if the students don’t master other skills, that would be a trouble. Furthermore,scientists’ works are tough, but the value of what they have done are priceless.

Argu（85) In a study of the reading habits of Waymarsh citizens conducted by the University of Waymarsh, most respondents said that they preferred literary classics as reading material. However, a second study conducted by the same researchers found that the type of book most frequently checked out of each of the public libraries in Waymarsh was the mystery novel. Therefore, it can be concluded that the respondents in the first study had misrepresented their reading habits.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

The studies of reading habits of Waymarsh citizens show different results, so the author concludes that the respondents in the first study had misrepresented their reading habits. However, without the specific evidence of whether the  respondents were selective, what the questions were and the reading places, we cannot examine the soundness of the argument.

The first piece of evidence we need to know is whether the respondents were selective. If the respondents happened to be a group of fans of literary classics, that will definitely weaken the conclusion that  first study had misrepresented their reading habits. Because their answers were true. The problem was that researchers should select the respondents randomly to ensure the impartiality of the study.

The second one is about the questions they asked. Sometimes people prefer this kind of books doesn't mean they actually read them. If the question was what kind of books do you usually read and respondents answered literary classics, that will make the first study seem more authentic.

The last but significant evidence is about the reading place. The second study only checked out the books in the public libraries in Waymarsh. We also need to know what people read at home or other places. There is possibility that respondents preferred literary classics so they buy the books to read at home,while they have little interest in mystery novel,which they only read at the public libraries.If it is true, it can also weaken the conclusion. Therefore, the questions need to include where they often read and what kind of books they read at the libraries.

Only do we know the evidence that mentioned above, we can really evaluate the credibility of the argument.

tesolchinaUID：2191404

ssphia 发表于 2015-10-25 17:38
之前考过一次，AW特别烂，那天看了老师的1+3模式感觉人生打开了新的大门，写了Issue15和Argu85，希望能点评 ...

If the schools tailor the courses to suit lucrative employment
这个和原题的意思有很大的出入啊 不能这样篡改题目

CandyisthebestUID：3626719

ARGU 3

The following appeared as a letter to the editor from a Central Plaza store owner.

"Over the past two years, the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically. Many Central Plaza store owners believe that the decrease in their business is due to the number of skateboard users in the plaza. There has also been a dramatic increase in the amount of litter and vandalism throughout the plaza. Thus, we recommend that the city prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza. If skateboarding is prohibited here, we predict that business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high levels.”
  

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

(时态用什么？？为什么用过去式呢？)
According to the letter, the store owner holds the idea that the increasing skateboard users in the plaza accounts for the decrease in the business. So in order to thieve the business, skateboarding should be forbidden in Central Plaza. However, to evaluate the recommendation, questions should be answered concerning the reasons why people did not come to Central Plaza, what increased the amount of litter and vandalism and why the business decreased.

We need to investigate why fewer shoppers has come to the Plaza. The store owner assumes that the more skateboard users made shoppers unwilling to come. Nevertheless, it is entirely like that, the customers find it very difficult to park in the Plaza, in addition, other public transportations are not convenient either. What’s more, that the prizes in the Plaza is getting higher and higher could drive away the shoppers as well. If people did not go to the Plaza were for the aforementioned reasons, prohibiting skateboard users will not win shoppers back.

Plus, questions need to be answered regarding what caused the increase number of litter and vandalism. Chances are that it was the local residents rather than the skateboard skaters who dropped litters and did damage to public facilities constantly. Judging from this, if skateboard skaters did not did bad deeds, there was no using keeping them away from the Plaza with the aim of banning the behavior of dropping litter or vandalism, nor could the recommendation flourish the business.

Last but not the least, we should also question why really decreased the business in the Plaza.The letter assumes that skateboard users had negative effect on the business yet the store owner fails to take other possibilities into account. There is a possibility that, the shopping assistants were mean to the customers, which explained why fewer customers would like to shop in the Plaza. If the shopping assistants kept the arrogant attitudes, merely banning skateboard users would not promote the business.




谢谢老师和同学啦~~

ssphiaUID：3461542

tesolchina 发表于 2015-10-26 13:44
If the schools tailor the courses to suit lucrative employment
这个和原题的意思有很大的出入啊 不 ...

刚看了老师的范文，觉得我第一个论点说的也是我们不能保证未来哪些职业是好的，这句话改成‘Schools should not encourage students to study what will prepare them for lucrative career, because we cannot guarantee what career will be advantageous in the future ’ 是否好一些？  麻烦老师也点评一下我的argu，O(∩_∩)O谢谢