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[习作点评] 求长期习作评阅,必回评,12.1杀G,标题一定长长长 [复制链接]

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发表于 2014-11-4 07:35:49 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
写了一篇Issue高频,求寄托的大牛们批阅,给点意见。另外,凡是批阅的G友们,只要你们贴上大作,一定回评,不睡觉也回评!12.1杀G,还有28天,忐忑忐忑忐忐忑。
此外,背景,去年7月裸考,一篇没写,AW3.5
此篇用时34分钟,第二稿,字数534.

题目
Universities should require every student to take a variety of courses outside the student's field of study.

Instruction:
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

As everything has its two sides, the recommendation mentioned in the statement which requires students at college take a variety courses outside their major also has its benefits and disadvantages. After putting some thoughts in this issue which will be explained in the following, in my opinion, it is the students that should be empowered with the right to decide whether they want to take courses outside their major instead of the university.  

There is no doubt that students will gain a lot from taking courses outside their area. Through it, they can pursue their interests outside their major which otherwise will not happen. A famous saying goes as the interest is the best teacher. By choosing courses out of their interests, students will learn fast and efficiently. With all the knowledge they acquired by taking non-major classes, they will broaden their vision and knowledge. As a result, they will enhance themselves and better prepared for the coming job market after college graduation.

Furthermore, from my point of view, disciplines are interrelated through all academic areas. Students will benefit their major study by taking courses outside. Take Da Vinci as an example. As a painter, Da Vinci spent a significant amount of time studying anatomy which belongs to the medicine major. While it is the anatomy knowledge that made him much better in drawing human body, creating famous paintings such as Mona Lisa. Steve Jobs can be seen as a recent example. As a student majored in IT, Steve took calligraphy courses which seemed barely related to his own major. However, it was his understanding of calligraphy brought us the high advanced Apply products with indeed beauty. For all the cases discussed above, the recommendation mentioned in the statement surely seems advantage to students.

Nonetheless, the disadvantages of the recommendation are obvious. Requiring all students take a variety of courses outsides implies taking a large amount of time and money from them. Nowadays, college students are already under pressure for having so many major required courses. Some of them may even have no more time to commit in outside classes, especially for students who study in majors such as architecture and physics. Last month, a bad news occurred that a Chinese student studying in Physics at John Hopkins University committed a suicide due to the stress and pressure from having too many classes and exams to handle. For students like him, employing this recommendation means depriving them of sleeping time and energy. Besides, money is another big issue to take into consideration, Taking course outside means adding more money to the tution bill. For students who need to do part-time jobs to support themselves while in college, this recommendation obvious is impracticable.

Based on the consideration of the benefits and disadvantages of the recommendation, I highly propose that students should be empowered with the right to decide whether they want to take a variety of outside classes or not. That is to say, the issue of taking outside classes should be decided on a case-by-case basis. While having the right in their hand, students can take all the factors into account, such as their interests, time commitment to their own major and money issue and make a decision which will benefit them the most.

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

沙发
发表于 2014-11-4 08:56:19 |只看该作者
总体来看 楼主的语言表达不错 裸考3.5还是需要一定的基础的

一个比较大的问题是题目要求讨论在具体的情况下 建议有什么好处和坏处
你的论述没有总结出具体情况 这是一个很致命的缺陷
另外你的第二段没有具体的例子只是单纯在说理

其实你可以对你的例子做一个总结 指出当学生学的主修科目能从修其他课程获益时 这个建议就是有好处的

当学生压力很大 时间、钱不够时 这个建议就是不好的

最终得出的结论是 每个同学情况不同 应该由学生自己决定 不应该强求  

还有一些语言表达的小问题
After putting some thoughts in this issue which will be explained in the following, in my opinion, it is the students that should be empowered with the right to decide whether they want to take courses outside their major instead of the university.  
比如这句话 after putting 的主语应该是I 所以 后面应该说 I believe that ...

作为互评
请楼主看下 https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1777232-1-1.html 77楼我写的文章吧

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板凳
发表于 2014-11-7 03:38:45 |只看该作者
tesolchina 发表于 2014-11-4 08:56
总体来看 楼主的语言表达不错 裸考3.5还是需要一定的基础的

一个比较大的问题是题目要求讨论在具体的情况 ...

根据老师的回复,我又Polish了一下这篇,请老师看看呀 :)

It is proved reasonable for college students to take courses from different disciplines before they could choose their major. However, whether a college student should be required to take a variety of courses outside the major they have chosen is unclear. Having considered the benefits and disadvantages of the recommendation mentioned in the statement, I remain the position that it is college students that should be empowered with the right to decide whether they want to take courses outside their major instead of the university.

There is no doubt that students can benefit a lot from taking courses outside their major. One of the benefits is students get a second chance to explore where their true interests and future careers are. Through taking outside classes, some students might find something they love much more than their own major and change to a totally new and different career path. Hugh Grant, the famous English actor, discovered his passion in acting with an elective course Theater Theory he took outside his major English Literature at Oxford. The successful change brought a talented and passionate actor to the world. In the circumstance of offering students another chance to explore their true interests and passion, the recommendation seems plausible.

Benefit their own major study and future career by taking courses outside can be seen as another benefit of the recommendation in that all disciplines are fundamentally interrelated. For example, Da Vinci, the renowned Italian painter, spent a significant amount of time studying anatomy which belongs to medicine major. While it is the knowledge of anatomy that made him excellent in drawing human body, creating master pieces such as Mona Lisa. Moreover, the indeed beauty of popular Apply tech products can be attributed to Steve Jobs, as an IT major student, took elective course Calligraphy before he dropped out of college. In short, the recommendation is practicable from the perspective of benefiting students' own major study and future career.

The recommendation rests on the assumption that all college students are in the same shoes regarding the time and money commitment required for taking a variety of outside courses. However, based on my common sense, the assumption is nowhere near the truth. For some students, whose own major already asks for an incredible amount of time commitment, they barely have time for more courses outside their major. Last month, a bad news occurred that a Chinese student studying in Physics at John Hopkins University committed suicide due to the stress and pressure from having too many classes and exams to handle. In this case, the recommendation means a deprivation of sleeping time at best, or a life.

Money is another issue needs to be considered. Requiring students take outside classes equals to adding lots of money to their tuition bill, which some students may find difficulty affording. College students are in totally different economic conditions. For example, some of my classmates can buy a Channel bag which is worth thousand dollars as a Christmas gift. Some may need to do several part-time jobs to cover their tuition and living expenses. For students who need to work to support themselves, this recommendation will add so much burden to them.

In conclusion, based on the consideration of benefits and disadvantages of the recommendation, I highly propose that it is the students that should have the right to decide whether they want to take a variety of courses outside their major or not. That is to say, the issue of taking outside classes should be decided on a case-by-case basis. While having the right in their hand, students can take all the factors into account, such as their interests, time commitment to their own major and money issue and make a decision which will benefit them the most.

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地板
发表于 2014-11-7 05:37:29 |只看该作者
Argument 10/06

The following appeared in a letter from a firm providing investment advice to a client.
"Homes in the northeastern United States, where winters are typically cold, have traditionally used oil as their major fuel for heating. Last year that region experienced twenty days with below-average temperatures, and local weather forecasters throughout the region predict that this weather pattern will continue for several more years. Furthermore, many new homes have been built in this region during the past year. Because of these developments, we predict an increased demand for heating oil and recommend investment in Consolidated Industries, one of whose major business operations is the retail sale of home heating oil."
Instruction:
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.


While it may be a smart move to invest Consolidated Industries, the author’s argument doesn’t make a cogent case for his/her advice and the predicted increase in demand for heating oil. In fact, the author’s argument is rife with holes and lack of evidence, and thus, rendered as unconvincing as it stands.

Citing the tradition in the Northeastern American area that people consume heating oil during cold wintertime, the author tried to substantiate the predicted increase in demand for heating oil. However, the author failed to provide evidence to prove that the tradition is unchanged. Perhaps the new trend is turn to electricity for heating when the cold winter comes. Even if the tradition still exists, perhaps it is the winter holiday while the cold weather comes, people would choose to leave the cold areas for a vacation in somewhere warm. In this scenario, there would be no heating oil consumption. In short, without providing evidence to prove that the cold weather would actually lead to the increase in the demand for heating oil, the author can't convince me the it is smart to invest in Consolidated Industries.

In addition to the extremely cold weather, the author also cited the fact that much more houses had been built in the area last year to support the predicted demand. Nevertheless, no evidence in the article shows that there are people living in these houses. It is common to see that some houses are sold several years after being built. It is possible that none of the houses built last year have been sold. In this case, more houses with no people living inside can not prove a increase in demand for heating oil. Thus, failed to provide evidence that there are people living in these new houses and they consume heating oil, the author can't persuade me into the investment recommendation.

Building on the predicted increase in demand for heating oil, the author made an assumption that the profit of Consolidated Industries would grow. The assumption can’t stand without evidence linking Consolidated Industries to this specific market. Without evidence indicating that people living in the northeastern America area usually consume the heating oil from the Consolidated Industries, the author can’t make his/her recommendation convincing. Perhaps people living in the northeastern area normally buy heating oil from another company. Or perhaps the Consolidated Industries even don't have a retail store in this area. Failed to provide evidence to rule out all these scenarios, the recommendation is unconvincing.

Finally, if the increase in demand was true and people went to Consolidated Industries to buy heating oil, there are still so many other factors would affect the Consolidated Industries profit, such as its sitting CEO and its working system. Maybe they would still run out of business even with the increased demand in heating oil business because they make bad investment decisions. Without evidence showing that the company is and will be continually in good financial condition, the author can't make his/her case.

In conclusion, lack of evidence showing that the predicated increased demand in heating oil would happen and the Consolidated Industries is running well, the author can't convince me with his/her recommendation.

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

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发表于 2014-11-7 16:30:11 |只看该作者
isabellaxia 发表于 2014-11-7 03:38
根据老师的回复,我又Polish了一下这篇,请老师看看呀 :)

It is proved reasonable for college stude ...

Benefit their own major study and future career by taking courses outside can be seen as another benefit of the recommendation in that all disciplines are fundamentally interrelated.
这句话表达有问题

整体来看 这篇写得不错 至少也有4分以上了

建议你还是加入我们的小组 按1+3模型写提纲

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

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发表于 2014-11-7 16:39:27 |只看该作者
isabellaxia 发表于 2014-11-7 05:37
Argument 10/06

The following appeared in a letter from a firm providing investment advice to a cl ...

failed to 开头的句子表达有问题
注意这道题的题目是
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.  
虽然你在文中有指出缺乏各种证据 但你总的思路还是一种老GRE的讨论谬误的套路
仔细读题会发现 新G要求的是 讨论需要什么证据 以及这些证据会强化或弱化论证 因此不能一开始就说这个论证如何不堪  所以你在措辞上要更贴近题目的要求才行  

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

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发表于 2014-11-7 16:42:07 |只看该作者
isabellaxia 发表于 2014-11-7 05:37
Argument 10/06

The following appeared in a letter from a firm providing investment advice to a cl ...

https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... age=6#pid1778964888
这里有一个argument的改写练习 你试一下 对你措辞贴题会有帮助

另外 这里有位网友的提纲
https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... amp;fromuid=2191404

他基础不错也很用功 但是 我跟他讲的东西 他好像听不进去 你帮我看看

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发表于 2014-11-11 08:55:45 |只看该作者
Back after 3-day get-away, feeling guilty. :(
Unsuccessfully issue writing, spent 40 mins. Need to look for easy angle to argue!

正文
The surest indicator of a great nation is represented not by the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists, but by the general welfare of its people.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

Modern nations can all be counted as democratic of some sort, with a few exceptions such as Iran and North Korea. And democratic nation is the best political system we human beings have so far. According to my understanding, the essence of a democratic nation is its people. Whether a country being great or not depends on the general living status of its people. And the achievements of its rulers, artists and scientists and the welfare its people enjoy are both important indicators for being a great nation.

There is no doubt that the goal of building a democratic country is to provide its people with a chance to have a much better and happier life. Otherwise it is unreasonable for people to pay the taxes to support the nation and vote for people to represent themselves. Some countries are built for defending enemies and secure a safe living environment. South Korea is founded after the World War Two, facing the possible attack from the north part. Some other countries are created for its citizens accumulating wealth. The direct goal for founding the United States of America is to set a standard customer tax and gain advantages while doing business with the Europeans. Countries are built for various reasons. While these various reasons share one thing in common, that is to create a better life for its people. That's the most important indicator to define a great nation.

For a democratic nation described as above, it seems absurd to say the achievements of its rulers, artists and scientists can't be seen as indicators for it being a great nation. In my opinion, these achievements are representations for the nation trying to make a better life for its people. Its ruler, who is elected by the people, makes decisions with the considerations of his/her people's interests, which leads us to believe his/her achievement surely serves the goal for making a better life for his/her people. It is not hard to know and believe that President Obama's every move is for the sake of American people. The achievements of its artists, on the contrary, can be seen as representations of the satisfying living standards the nation provide. A satisfying living standard can help artists focus on their spiritual work instead of worrying feeding themselves in terms of producing art works. It is not surprising you will find much more successfully pianists in Japan than Thailand, though they share almost the same big country and population. Finally, with the intention of making life better, the achievements of scientists certainly can be used to level up the living standards of its people, which makes itself as one of the indicators for being a great nation.

In addition to all the achievements discussed above, the welfare the general public enjoy is another indicator for being a great nation. Some of the welfares make sure its people sustain a life above certain living standard. For example, in America, as an unemployed, you are entitled to get an unemployed insurance from the government for six month to sustain your life while looking for a new job with no income.  Some other welfare is intended to help people pursue a better life. One of my friends is able to go to China for study with the scholarship from the government. After all, welfare is one of the most direct ways for a nation trying to make a better life for its people.

Admittedly, there are problems coming along with governments providing welfare. On the contrary of securing a better life for its citizens, some people argue that the welfare encourage people to derogate, abandoning themselves. That is to say, because of the welfare, some people are in no harry for finding jobs to support themselves. Another problem is the national budget issue. Some nations spend too much in providing welfare for their citizens to the extent of bankruptcy, such as Grace. In short, much more thoughts and considerations should be put into the process of providing welfare.

In conclusion, the essence of being a great nation is to create a better life for its citizens. And by definition, here the term nation means modern democratic nations. While in the process of proving a better life for its people, the achievements of its rulers, artists and scientists and welfare enjoyed by its people can both be seen as indicators.  

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发表于 2014-11-11 09:41:55 |只看该作者
tesolchina 发表于 2014-11-7 16:42
https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=1777232&page=6#pid1778964888
这里有一个argument的 ...

sorry。 现在才上来看。我刚刚给他在另个帖子回了。
另外,我也准备按照老师的方法写提纲了:)
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发表于 2014-11-12 02:03:35 |只看该作者
isabellaxia 发表于 2014-11-11 08:55
Back after 3-day get-away, feeling guilty.
Unsuccessfully issue writing, spent 40 mins. Need to  ...

Polish了一下。感觉这篇好难写。Polish的也超时间

If you ask what a great nation is, people from different backgrounds would offer you various definitions for this term. To me, a great nation is a country that is able to provide its people with a comfortable and satisfying living standard. And both the welfare its people enjoy and the achievements of its rulers, artists and scientists can be seen as indicators for being a great nation.
The aim of founding a country is to offer its people a happy and comfortable life. And a happy and comfortable life can be defined as having a stable income from a job, the opportunity to enjoy various cultural products and explore the spiritual world, and the chance to get political interests satisfied. According to my understanding, that is the reason why people would like to stick together, paying taxes to support the nation and elect politicians to represent them. Nonetheless, there are countries in the world that can't be counted as great nations. North Korea, for example, the majority of its people living in poverty, can't feed themselves even though they work almost 10 hours everyday. Iran, where people live in a satisfying economic status, sets restrict religious rules to restrain its people in a corner of the spiritual world. Those are the opposite examples of being a great nation, which should make a satisfying and comfortable life for its people.
Providing welfare is one of the most direct ways for a nation to create a satisfying and comfortable living standard for its people. Some of the welfares are intended to make sure its people live a life above certain standard. For example, any unemployed U.S. citizen is entitled to get an unemployed insurance from the government for six months, a form of welfare, to sustain his/her life while looking for a new job without income. Some other forms of the welfares are aimed to offer its people a chance to make a better life. With the low-interest student loan from the government, many students from poverty make it to college, changing their life. In short, surely welfare enjoyed by its people can be seen as an indicator of being a great nation.
Similarly, the achievements of its scientists also contribute to improving the living standards of its people, which can also be counted as an indicator of a great nation. Some of the achievements from its scientists can develop into industries, which create countless job opportunities for its people. Back to the 1990s, the innovation of a bunch of computer scientists down in the silicon valley which developed into the computer industry, helped the U.S. economy recovery during the tenure of President Bill Clinton. Some other achievements of its scientists can make its people's life much better. For example, the achievements of the scientists in the lab fighting against Ebola, secured hundreds of thousands of Americans' confidence in beating the deadly virus. Based on all the evidence listed above, there is no doubt that achievements from its scientists contribute to improving the life for its people, which makes them an indispensable indicator of a great nation.
The achievements from its artists offer various kinds of cultural products for its people to enjoy, to explore the spiritual world. For instance, living at HongKong means there are plenty places to go if you want to be close to art, such as museums, theaters, movie theaters and concerts, all of which make HongKong a better place to live, to get inspired and to explore the spiritual world. On the opposite, living in Iran means all the art works from its artists are restrained to religion. There you have little freedom to explore the spiritual world and get inspired. Therefore, the achievements of its artists serve as a role to make a better life for its people, surely an indicator for being a great nation.
Within a nation, people vote for politicians to represent their political interests. The politicians, who are elected by the people, make decisions with the considerations of there people's interests, which leads us to believe there achievement surely serves the goal for making a better life for the people. It is not hard to know and believe that President Obama's every move is for the sake of American people, to meet the political interests of Americans. Therefore, the statement seems absurd here that the achievements of its rulers can't be an indicator for being a great nation.
In conclusion, the essence of being a great nation is to provide a satisfying and comfortable life for its people. And the welfare people enjoy, the achievements of its rulers, artists and scientists all serve the goal for making life better for its people. Therefore, they all should be seen as indicators for being a great nation.

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发表于 2014-11-12 08:43:25 |只看该作者
tesolchina 发表于 2014-11-7 16:39
failed to 开头的句子表达有问题
注意这道题的题目是
Write a response in which you discuss what sp ...

根据老师的点评,我修改了措辞。请老师看看这个措辞符合新GRE要求了么:loveliness:

While it might be a smart move to invest the Consolidated Industries, the author doesn't make a cogent case for his/her investment advice. Lacking evidence to support the predicated increase in demand for heating oil and the profit the Consolidated Industries will gain from the increase, the author can't convince me that investing in the Consolidated Industries is a good idea.

Citing the forecast that the extreme cold weather will continue in the Northeastern American area for several years, where people traditionally consume oil for heating, the author tried to back up the predicated increase in demand for heating oil. Without evidences showing that the oil-heating tradition sustains and people will use more heating oil in the extreme cold weather, nonetheless, the author can't say the increase would surely happen. It is possible the young generation in this area turn for electricity for heating instead of oil. And maybe during the extreme cold days, people usually leave for a vacation in somewhere warm with none oil consumption at home. In either scenario above, the increase in demanding for heating oil would never happen.

In addition, the author also mentioned the fact that there are many new houses built last year in this area to support the predicated increase. However, we know nothing about the houses conditions, such as whether there are people living inside and they use oil for heating. It is very common in the U.S. that houses are sold out many years after they are built. If there are no people living inside, the demand increase for heating oil would not happen. Or perhaps those new houses rely on electricity for heating. In this case, no oil would be consumed. Without evidence, we just can't say for sure the increase would take place.

Building on the predicated increase, the author recommend his/her clients invest in the Consolidated Industries, which runs the business of retail sale of home heating oil. Nevertheless, it is possible that the Consolidated Industries would gain nothing from the predicated increase in the Northeastern America. Maybe the Consolidated Industries has no retail store in this area. Or perhaps local people tend to go to other stores buying heating oil. Lack of evidence proving the Consolidated Industries is running a pretty good heating oil business in this area, the author can't draw the conclusion that the Consolidated Industries would benefit from the predicated increase.

It is a smart move to invest in the Consolidated Industries if all the evidences discussed above were there. The author needs much more evidence to back up the predicated increase and the Consolidated Industries would gain profit from the increase in order to make his/her advice more cogent and convincing.

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发表于 2014-11-14 03:53:55 |只看该作者
13/11 高频Argument,耗时37分钟,字数537,so bad.
要练打字!拼写!拼写速度好慢!

The following appeared in a health newsletter.
"A ten-year nationwide study of the effectiveness of wearing a helmet while bicycling indicates that ten years ago, approximately 35 percent of all bicyclists reported wearing helmets, whereas today that number is nearly 80 percent. Another study, however, suggests that during the same ten-year period, the number of bicycle-related accidents has increased 200 percent. These results demonstrate that bicyclists feel safer because they are wearing helmets, and they take more risks as a result. Thus, to reduce the number of serious injuries from bicycle accidents, the government should concentrate more on educating people about bicycle safety and less on encouraging or requiring bicyclists to wear helmets."
Instruction:
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

Surely it would help to increase the safety awareness of bicyclists if the government put much more efforts into educating people about bicycle safety. However, the author doesn't make a cogent case for his/her recommendation about lessening encouraging bicyclists wearing helmets. In fact, the author's argument is based on some unwarranted assumptions which would be discussed below.

Citing a study indicating the rate of bicyclists wearing helmets increased from 35% to 80% over the past 10 years, the author was saying that more and more people are wearing helmets while bicycling. Nonetheless, the point is rested on the assumption that this study is valid and statistically representative. Without information about how large the sample is, we can't be sure whether the study can represent the general condition of wearing helmet while bicycling in the city. We also need to know the way the survey was conducted. Perhaps people were only asked single one question that whether they would wear helmet while bicycling. And they said yes to build a good image which is not the real case. In short, without much more information to prove the survey is valid and statistically representative, we can't draw the conclusion that more people are wearing helmet.

Moreover, the author also cited another survey which showed that much more bicycle accidents happen nowadays than that of 10 years ago. Based on this survey, the author suggested bicyclists of today are likely to take more risks. However, we need much more detailed information to prove this claim is true. It is entirely possible that because of wearing helmet, most of the accidents happened nowadays are small accidents while accidents back to 10 years ago were serious and lethal accidents. Or perhaps for most of today's accidents, bicyclists are not the one who are responsible or violate traffic rules. In addition, we also need information about how many bicyclists were wearing helmets while the accidents happened. Without all the required information, we just can't say that today's bicyclists are willing to take more risks.

Besides, the author rested the suggestion for concentrating on safety education on the assumption that it would work. It is highly possible due to the safety feeling from taking safety education, bicyclists are much more likely to take more risks which leads to more accidents. Or bicyclists would not pay much attention to the required safety education. In short, we are not sure whether the safety education would help reduce bicycle accidents.

The last but not the least, the author failed to see there might be many more other effective ways to decrease the bicycle accidents. Maybe set some more bicycle lanes. Or maybe put much more efforts on safety education on car drivers. Or grant road priority to bicyclists.

In conclusion, education certainly would help increase the safety awareness of bicyclists. While common sense also tells me that wearing helmet while bicycling would help. Without the information about the validity of the studies and consideration of other possible ways, the author just can't convince me with his/her suggestion.

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发表于 2014-11-14 04:15:38 |只看该作者
高频issue一篇,耗时39分钟,速度.....
才知道三峡大坝英文名是 Three Gorges Dam
还有 judgment 是这么拼的,没有E

Some people believe that government officials must carry out the will of the people they serve. Others believe that officials should base their decisions on their own judgment.

Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.


The author in the statement brought the leadership style of government officials into discussion. Should they make decisions out of their own judgment? Or should they make every decision after soliciting various opinions from the people they represent? Based on my understanding of modern democratic nations, I maintain that the government officials should represent the will of the people who vote for them while making decisions.

Modern democratic nation empowers its people with the power to vote for the person to represent them. That is to say, the power of the government officials is from the voters in essence. Thus, it is not hard to understand that government officials should advocate for their voters' will, which is required by the foundation of modern democratic nations. In the U.S., people vote for senators/house representatives who are obliged to represent their interest in Senate and House of Representatives. And every U.S. citizen has a vote to decide who will be the President of the United State, whose every move should serve the interests of American people. After all, due to the requirement of modern political system, government officials should take their voters' will into consideration while making decisions.

Moreover, abuse of official power and corruption are going to happen in the case government officials are entitled to make decisions purely out of their own judgment. Based on my understanding, it is part of human nature that people would make decisions which serve their personal interests the best without the overseeing from the law and voters. Abuse of official power and corruptions are the byproducts of government officials making decisions to serve their personal interests. Take North Korea for example. Government officials there are appointed purely based on the higher-level leaders instead of people voting. As a result, for most cases, officials can make their decisions without consideration of the will of their people which brings poverty and leader-corruption to their country. The disaster happened in North Korea reminds us that government officials should be required to represent people's will.

Admittedly, under certain circumstances, it is reasonable for government officials making decisions based on their own judgment, such as national budget planning and project planning, which require specialized knowledge and familiarity. For the mass people without the specialized training, their will may lead to an unwise decision. Planning national budget, asks for people with rich knowledge in statistics and a quite familiarity with the whole picture of the nation's economic status. Only government officials who have been working in this area for years are capable of making a practical budget plan. Project planning, such as Three Gorges Dam project in China, requires the cooperation among government officials with abundant knowledge in geography and electricity. Decisions related to case as discussed above, should be made with government officials’ rich knowledge in special areas and incredible familiarity with the case.

In conclusion, government officials are required by the foundation of modern democratic nations to represent the will of their voters. And if they fail it, there will be negative influence on their nation and their people. But under certain circumstances which requires specific knowledge, it is reasonable for government officials to make decisions based on their own judgment.

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发表于 2014-11-15 05:51:28 |只看该作者
Argument第三篇,31分钟,475. 渐渐地,感觉写Argu和Issue已经成了不讨厌的事情。

The following is part of a memorandum from the president of Humana University.
"Last year the number of students who enrolled in online degree programs offered by nearby Omni University increased by 50 percent. During the same year, Omni showed a significant decrease from prior years in expenditures for dormitory and classroom space, most likely because instruction in the online programs takes place via the Internet. In contrast, over the past three years, enrollment at Humana University has failed to grow, and the cost of maintaining buildings has increased along with our budget deficit. To address these problems, Humana University will begin immediately to create and actively promote online degree programs like those at Omni. We predict that instituting these online degree programs will help Humana both increase its total enrollment and solve its budget problems."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.

In the statement, the president made a prediction that enrollment problems and budget problems will be solved by introducing a campaign next year for online degree programs. Surely some people would like to enroll in these online degree programs if they are well-designed with an effective promotion. Nonetheless, the president didn't make his/her argument a cogent case for the prediction of enrollment increase and expenditure decrease.

Citing the fact that the enrollment of online degree programs at nearby Omni university increased 50%, the president suggested a promising online program market. But there could be many ways to explain this increase. Maybe Omni launched a well-designed new online program last year which met lots of students' demand. Or perhaps last year happened to be the time lots of people set their mind to study in an online program. It is also possible that many people chose to enroll in an online program last year due to the bad economic condition which is getting much better this year. In short, there is no guarantee that the trend that more people would enroll in an online program will sustain this year.

In addition, the president indicated that the high enrollment in online programs at Omni was the explanation for its decrease in expenditures for maintaining classrooms and dormitories. That is to say, because more people are taking classes via the Internet, Omni simply doesn't need to maintain so many classrooms and dormitories. However, perhaps the fact is Omni University simply chose not to spend in maintaining in spite of the need. Maybe they already scheduled an upcoming whole renovation next year. Or maybe they just want to save the money for a planned new construction. Without ruling out these scenarios, we just can't claim that enrollment in online programs can help with budget issues.

The major assumption the president rested his/her argument is that Omni University and Humana University are in totally same conditions. Based on this assumption, the president predicted that the online programs at Humana University would be as successful as those at Omni. But we all know that different universities are at different situations. Maybe the featured programs at Humana are not suited for online teaching. Perhaps Omni has an excellent team of advertisers which Humana just doesn't have. Or perhaps Omni has a good reputation for online teaching worldwide which Humana doesn't. In short, there is no guarantee that the online degree programs at Humana would be as successful as those at Omni. There are chances that enrollment will not increase even if Humana launches several online degree programs next year.

In conclusion, there is no sign that the increase in online enrollment will remain increasing next year. Moreover, different universities have different feathers. It is possible that Humana will not succeed in online degree programs even if the trend sustains. All in all, much more information is needed in order to make the recommendation convincing.

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发表于 2014-11-15 06:09:45 |只看该作者
14.11 Issue 40分钟,要死。这证明考前写高频提纲是非常非常非常有必要的。若在考场上思考,必定花费时间。字数586.

Scientists and other researchers should focus their research on areas that are likely to benefit the greatest number of people.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

With the infinite passion and thousand days of diligent work, scientists are able to produce some astonishing achievements in their specialized areas which would benefit the development of our human beings. The author made a recommendation in the statement that scientists should focus their efforts on the areas which are likely to benefit the greatest number of people. With the consideration of impracticality and disadvantages associated with the recommendation, I maintain the position that scientists should burn their passion in the areas which they are trained for and love.

The achievements of scientists are intended to benefit the development of human beings. In some cases, the importance of the needs from a small group of people is over that from the greatest number of people due to the limited time window. Take the epidemic Ebola as an example. The needs for developing the medicine against Ebola are granted a high priority in American medicine area even though the medicine will be only used for Ebola patients, being specific, three Americans in total. However, the needs from these three American patients are worthy of the efforts and focuses from all leading scientists in the medicine area. In short, the recommendation seems absurd when an emergency as urgent as Ebola happens, the importance of which is over that of the greatest number of people.

In addition, it is impossible for scientists to foretell how great an area can be for benefiting human beings before they really achieve something. Sometimes they still remain uncertain of the potential of a certain area even if it is proving its own worth to human beings. Back to 1950s, the first computer was invented to the world. Nonetheless, during that time period, the computer was only proved to benefit a small group of people, most of whom were professors and scientists at college. According to the recommendation, anyone would draw a conclusion that all the scientists' efforts should be put into solving hunger issues instead of working on a computer. Fifty years later, an industry has been developing on the basis of the first large computer, which improves the life of entire human beings, benefiting the largest number of people in the world. Therefore, facing the unknown future, scientists can't be sure whether an area would contribute the most to human beings.

Moreover, in my opinion, scientists should have the right to work in the area which they are trained for and they love. We just can't ask a physicist to turn to developing medicine because of our perceived benefits from the medicine area. It would be a disaster to let a physicist work in the medicine area without required training and knowledge, which would be a disadvantage for human beings. Besides, passion and interests are the best power to drive scientists to achievements. Imagine if we had Einstein working as a musician, then we human beings would have had a secondary musician instead of an astonishing physicist. In this case, if we apply the recommendation, we would lose more than we gain.

In conclusion, the goal of scientists' achievements is to benefit the development of human beings. It is impossible for scientists to foretell whether an area has the most potential to benefit the greatest number of people before their achievements. And sometimes the needs from a small group of people would be much more important than that from the whole world. Therefore, scientists should be entitled with the right to work in the areas which they are trained for and love.

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