Issue 17 Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than se

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17) Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

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Issue 17
Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free.

Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

我的原思路：
从学习科目分类，从各科学习中也学到自由思想

Thesis Sentence: The ultimate goal of education is well-rounded mind. Even though current formal education with limitation in courses arrangement and teaching approaches, formal education brings the idea of free to us instead of seemly restraining our minds and spirits.

TS1: In history class, we learnt what we can do if we are faced with inequality and disfranchisement.
（雨伞革命）

TS2: In science class, we learnt that even authority could be challenged, and always we should be brave in academic exploration.

TS3: In language class, we learnt how to communicate with world outside, which opens our mind and set us free.

It is not the way of teaching matters, but the content in lectures.

原思路存在问题和感悟：
可行但是要论证清楚，language变成foreign language会更好。

讨论结果：
另一种思路是从formal education的不同时间阶段分。
（１）小学。比较强调creativity，这个时候是不restrain的
（２）中学。课业升学压力，这个时候就restrain了
（３）大学。Restrain和set free不冲突。这个阶段要narrow down focus，只有这样才能更深入从小领域获得更多，一定程度的restrain换来更大程度的free

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

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碎叶流光UID: 3513759

The movie ”The Final Exam ” describes a final interview in which eight candidates aggregated in an airtight room are required to find the question and the answer under the some restrictive rules. While all of them have no idea about what the question they should answer at the very beginning , with continuous discussions , competitions and different knowledge backgrounds, they solve it and fight out the final man. When I consider this creative interview in retrospect, I conclude three important factors in solving an unknown puzzle reasonably. The most basic one is the prepared knowledge, without which the candidates cannot have so many innovative ideas. Then an atmosphere of effective communication inspires them to fight for the ending endlessly. And the setting rules make some limitations to prevent them to apply unacceptable solutions. Luckily, formal education can provide these three elements better.
用我看过的一部电影作为文章的Introduction部分，引出我认为在解决一个未知问题时所需要的三种品质，而这三种品质formal education在一定程度上能更好的给学生。


Formal education equips people with the knowledge and skills acquired by predecessors during the historical river more systematically and considerately. You cannot build a building without foundation, similarly, you cannot come up with an idea without prepared knowledge. Since   teachers in formal education have been trained systematically and the curriculums have been carried out for many years, students can better educated in formal education while parents’ professions are limited in several particular aspects and parents always convey the relatively narrow explanation in the informal education based on family. Scientists in the history who enjoy great fame in their field most have received systematical train of informal education and they can analyze the problems in a scientific method. As an illustration of this, the found and completion of periodic table of elements is followed a scientific way of induction.
论述formal eduction对set free的第一个好处。运用了类比例证（空中花园）、对比论证（informal education based on family 在系统性和完备性方面的局限性）和举例例证（元素周期表）。   

Formal education also offers a suitable atmosphere where communication can be conducted more effectively. Because it gathers people from different backgrounds holding various ideas and values, and encourages them to communicate with each other. As Charles F. Brannan has said, ‘ if you have an apple and I have an apple, and we swap apples — we each end up with only one apple. But if you and I have an idea and we swap ideas — we each end up with two ideas’. Comparing to informal education based on network, formal education enable students have a long-lasting interaction with the surrounding people, which is beneficial for the communication about the time-consuming and complicated issues.
第二个优点。运用了名言论证和对比论证（informal education bases on network在长久项目或困难问题的交流环境方面的局限性。）

Formal education informs people of rules you cannot disobey in the process of solving problems. So-called free doesn’t mean absolutely free, there exists some principles you cannot override morally and jurally. Formal education can play an important role in the process of education. For instance, plagiarism is an acute error in the process of scientific research, and formal education can explain it easier to students and always can assist them to avoid that better. Moreover, formal education can penetrate the social values such as human-oriented thought into students in this whole procedure while it is barely possible for informal education.
第三个优点，举例论证（抄袭的判断和避免，formal education会更容易）和对比论证（社会价值观的渗透是informal eduction难以实现的。）
然后觉得这一点说到set free 上去有点牵强，总觉得有走题之嫌。。。

To conclude, formal education tends to set people’s mind free rather than restrict them in the consideration of the systematicness and comprehensiveness of knowledge and course arrangements, the appropriateness of the surrounding to communication and the limitations aiming to get the rational ideas.
结尾，对第一段的改写。

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

碎叶流光 发表于 2014-12-7 13:53
The movie ”The Final Exam ” describes a final interview in which eight candidates aggregated in an ...

你的文章没有正面回应题目
Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free.

为什么不先按1+3模型写提纲

碎叶流光UID: 3513759

tesolchina 发表于 2014-12-7 14:32
你的文章没有正面回应题目
Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set ...

哦，这个题目正好是我的选修课的一次作业，写完之后就直接拿过来了，这个过程中有在纸上列1+3，只是这个1没有特别把3的内容很具体的说出来，只是提到关键词。
然后,拿到题目后，我试着去列可能的正反方观点，然后就突然联想到之前看到一部影片，就觉得那个案例可以总结出人们解决未知难题的条件，我就相当于把free minds and spirits 限制为处理未知难题时的能力,然后支持的分论点为这三个归纳出来的条件，这不就说明我支持的是set free的观点么，非要直接说对于题目中观点的支持与不支持或者部分支持这样的结论吗？

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

碎叶流光 发表于 2014-12-7 21:35
哦，这个题目正好是我的选修课的一次作业，写完之后就直接拿过来了，这个过程中有在纸上列1+3，只是这个1 ...

大概看了一下你的文章 感觉你对free的理解和题目对free的界定有很大的偏差
题目里将set them free 和 restrain minds and spirits作为对立的选项 其意图就是将free 理解为思想和精神的自由  而你提到的基础知识 沟通共享 规则（反抄袭） 都和思想、精神自由没有关系

碎叶流光UID: 3513759

tesolchina 发表于 2014-12-8 23:17
大概看了一下你的文章 感觉你对free的理解和题目对free的界定有很大的偏差
题目里将set them free 和 re ...

怎么会没有关系呢？
1.我把set free定义为在面对未知难题时所表现出来的解决问题的能力，这个定义有问题么？
因为我觉得对于未知的东西，一个人只有在自由的思想下才能想出各种有创造力的ideas,所以如果整个人能够解决这种未知的问题，那么就可以说明这个人在思想上是free的。
2.如果第一点的定义没有问题的话，那么我下面要谈的就应该是formal education能不能够给予一个人这样的能力，如果能，即可以证明formal education set minds free,对吧。
所以我从三个方面去阐述formal education确实能够为人们培养这种能力提供这样的条件，不就证明了结论么？

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

碎叶流光 发表于 2014-12-9 22:47
怎么会没有关系呢？
1.我把set free定义为在面对未知难题时所表现出来的解决问题的能力，这个定义有问题 ...

你对set free的定义 在你的文章根本就没有解释说明 读者怎么知道你是怎么定义的
而且写这道题还要同时指出formal education 没有限制人的思想和精神  

碎叶流光UID: 3513759

嗯，所以总结如下：
1.对题目中关键词下定义时应该在开篇明确表示，不应该直接把定义拿来用；
2.对于这个题目，要有对反面观点的批驳。