fishgo作文练习贴

fishgoUID: 3607599

tesolchina 发表于 2015-6-9 23:45
已点评

感谢王老师！今天没有任务我就去去改病句了

fishgoUID: 3607599

issue 33
    As we acquire more knowledge, things do not become more comprehensible, but more complex and mysterious.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
用时：37min
感觉还是举例好难，自评感觉最大的问题还是讨论例子的篇幅不够，但这也是例子选的不好的结果。。。。总之感觉这篇写的好差，issue还要好好看看中间段的展开啊

句子	学生自评	内容点评	语言点评
As we acquire more knowledge, do things become more comprehensible? Or do things become more complex and mysterious?	以问句开头
The answer to the questions depends.	引出回答
In my opinion, for general public,such as students and workers, things will become more comprehensible.	指出对学生和工人而言
For scientific reseachers, things will become more complex and mysterious.	指出对科研工作者而言
For the students, things will become easier to understand as they acquire more knowledge.	对学生的情况
The major task for students is to acquire knowledge in class and use what they learned to take exams.	指出学生的任务
The performance of students depends on the understanding of knowledge they learnd in class.	学生的任务与知识的关系
As they acquire more knowledge, they will get a more thorough understanding of the classes.	进一步解释关系
And they are more likely to get a high score in school.	上一句延时
Take tutors for example, what tutors do is actually teach students more knowledge than waht they learned at class.	举家教的例子
Students having tutors can usually get a better score than bofore.	这里例子写的不够具体，太少了！自己都看不下去了！
For the workers, they will performe better in factory as they acquire more knowledge of the machines they use.	对工人而言
Worker usually need to manupulate some machines of which they actually did not understand the theory.	工人的职责
If they learn something about the theory of the machines , they will find it is more easy to fully manupulate these machines.	工人的职责与知识的关系
It is required to take some course to learn the theory of machines after workers joined in a factory.	进一步解释关系
More knowledge make machines become more comprehensibel to them.	呼应本段开头

For scientific researchers, things become different.	对科研工作者而言
As they acquire more knowledege, they will find things become more complex and mysterious.	具体说对科研工作者会怎样
The job of researchers is to use the knowledge they had learned to explore the fields that we still don't know.	科研工作者的职责
The more knowledge they acquire , the more questions they will have about the world.	知识与科研工作者职责的关系
Take Newton for example, befor him, scientific reaschers were not confused by the gravity.	举例，牛顿发现重力
After the discovery of goverty by him, more puzzles were recongnized by reaschers.	具体阐释例子，同样！例子阐述太少了！
So for scientific reaschers, things become more complex and mysterious.	呼应本段开头
In sum, it is benefitial to acquire more knowledge.	自己感觉这句话好像没有必要
For general public, as they acquire more knowledge, they can better understand the world they know.	指出第一类情况
Fore scientific researchers, as they acquire more knowledge, the world will become complex.	指出第二类情况

fishgoUID: 3607599

issue 33
    As we acquire more knowledge, things do not become more comprehensible, but more complex and mysterious.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
用时：37min
感觉还是举例好难，自评感觉最大的问题还是讨论例子的篇幅不够，但这也是例子选的不好的结果。。。。总之感觉这篇写的好差，issue还要好好看看中间段的展开啊

句子	学生自评	内容点评	语言点评
As we acquire more knowledge, do things become more comprehensible? Or do things become more complex and mysterious?	以问句开头
The answer to the questions depends.	引出回答		depends on what? 就这样depends感觉很口语化
In my opinion, for general public,such as students and workers, things will become more comprehensible.	指出对学生和工人而言
For scientific reseachers, things will become more complex and mysterious.	指出对科研工作者而言
For the students, things will become easier to understand as they acquire more knowledge.	对学生的情况
The major task for students is to acquire knowledge in class and use what they learned to take exams.	指出学生的任务	这个应试是学生的主要任务 这个说法美国读者未必能接受
The performance of students depends on the understanding of knowledge they learnd in class.	学生的任务与知识的关系
As they acquire more knowledge, they will get a more thorough understanding of the classes.	进一步解释关系
And they are more likely to get a high score in school.	上一句延时
Take tutors for example, what tutors do is actually teach students more knowledge than waht they learned at class.	举家教的例子
Students having tutors can usually get a better score than bofore.	这里例子写的不够具体，太少了！自己都看不下去了！	我觉得你的例子有点偏了 题目是说获得更多知识后 知识使事情更好懂  你需要举出具体的知识如何使某些具体的事情更好懂  你却扯到对课堂的理解 以及分数之类的 这就完全偏题了
For the workers, they will performe better in factory as they acquire more knowledge of the machines they use.	对工人而言	同样偏题   perform better和things do not become more comprehensible 简直相差十万八千里啊
Worker usually need to manupulate some machines of which they actually did not understand the theory.	工人的职责
If they learn something about the theory of the machines , they will find it is more easy to fully manupulate these machines.	工人的职责与知识的关系	而且工人是不会学理论的  最多了解一下原理
It is required to take some course to learn the theory of machines after workers joined in a factory.	进一步解释关系
More knowledge make machines become more comprehensibel to them.	呼应本段开头	例子太偏了 你感觉写不好是可以理解的 因为例子不好

For scientific researchers, things become different.	对科研工作者而言	内容点评	语言表达点评
As they acquire more knowledege, they will find things become more complex and mysterious.	具体说对科研工作者会怎样		你这基本是照抄原题目 要学会paraphrase
The job of researchers is to use the knowledge they had learned to explore the fields that we still don't know.	科研工作者的职责
The more knowledge they acquire , the more questions they will have about the world.	知识与科研工作者职责的关系
Take Newton for example, befor him, scientific reaschers were not confused by the gravity.	举例，牛顿发现重力		断句
After the discovery of goverty by him, more puzzles were recongnized by reaschers.	具体阐释例子，同样！例子阐述太少了！
So for scientific reaschers, things become more complex and mysterious.	呼应本段开头	你这段确实写的太牵强 建议你还是看看我的文章 以及其他同学举的例子   其实你想不到好的例子 就不要勉强写 而应该在群里讨论一下  或者借鉴我的例子
In sum, it is benefitial to acquire more knowledge.	自己感觉这句话好像没有必要
For general public, as they acquire more knowledge, they can better understand the world they know.	指出第一类情况
Fore scientific researchers, as they acquire more knowledge, the world will become complex.	指出第二类情况	感觉这道题 一段写general public就好了 两段写对于researcher 的困惑

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------明天重新写下提纲

fishgoUID: 3607599

argument.28
The following appeared in the summary of a study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia.        
Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, for the past several decades, food-processing companies have also been adding salicylates to foods as preservatives. This rise in the commercial use of salicylates has been found to correlate with a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by participants in our twenty-year study. Recently, food-processing companies have found that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods. With this new use for salicylates, we can expect a continued steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia.        

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
用时：41min，感觉这次写的不太顺，可能表达能力比较差吧

句子	学生自评	内容点评	语言点评
According to the study, there will be a continued steady decline in the number of people who suffer headaches after food companies in Mentia use salicylates as falvors additives for foods. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- According to the study, it is predicted that Mentia residents will sufer fewer headaches  because the food companies are expected to use salicylates as flavor additives.	复述题目的论点	对题目的同意转换要注意忠实原文 公司未必会使用
The study refer to the correlation between commercial use of salicylates and decline in number of headaches. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 这个可以不写了	复述论据
A number of assumptions have been made about the funtion of salicyates,the correlation between ues of salicylates and  decline in number of headaches and the use of salicylates as flavor additives in Mentia. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 四个点: the nature of the chemical, its relation to headache, the preferences of Mentia residents and the plans of the food companies	提出需要考虑的三个assumption
We need to exam them critically to decide if the argument is reasonable	接上	嗯 套路已经出来了 其实开头段可以简洁一下
To begin with, it is assumed that salicylates can be used to treat headaches.	提出第一个assumption
It is true that aspirin, a number of the same chemical family as salicylates, can be used to treat headaches.	让步
But it is important to note that salicylates may not have the same effects on headaches as aspirin.	转折，指出可能的情况或不足
It is possible that salicylates do not react the bacterial of headaches due to its special chemical propriety.	指出其他的可能性
In cases like this, salicylates can not be used to treat headaches. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- In cases like this,  the prediction would become groundless(原文的最后的结论是一个prediction)	指出这种可能性成立的后果	这里谈后果要结合题目的结论 而不是简单否定主题句的假设	这段语言表达挺好
It is further assumed that there exit a casual link between the commerical use of salicylates and the steady decline in the number of headaches.	提出assumption	correlation本来就有啊 问题是是否有causal link --------------------- 这是一个困扰我好久的问题了，总是忘记提，感谢王老师指出来！！	exist
For one thing, even we assume that salicylates can be used to treat headaches, the decline of number of headaches are not necessarily the result of commerial use of salicylates.	让步，指出不足
It is possible that the change of living environment and the improvement of medication contribute to the decline in number of headaches. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- In addition, we need to see if there are other factors that might lead to the reduction of reported headache cases.  For example, over the past 20 years, had aspirin or other drugs of similar effects become increasingly available and popular among the study participants? Did the participants change their diet or lifestyle that might have helped reduce headache?	指出和第一句相关的另一种可能性	这句话需要举例展开讨论
In cases like this,  the commercial use of salicylates can not ameliate headaches.	指出这种可能性成立的后果
The author claimed that the potential use of salicylates as flavor additives in Mentia can contirbute to the decline in the number of headaches in Mentia.	引用文章要讨论的内容	这里的主语不是the use of 而是the potential use of ------------ 老师分析的好仔细！
It is unreasonable to assume that flavor additives are allowed by law of Mentia and people in Mentia would like to eat food with flavor additives. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- We also need to take into account the costs of the chemical relative to other alternative additives.（考虑成本问题） we have to ask questions about consumers' taste to decide if the food with such additives will become popular, especially among Mentia residents.（考虑市场反应，人们喜不喜欢）	指出一个不合理的assumption	flavor additive添加本身不会违法 因为之前已经用来防腐  关键是市场的反应
It is possible that people in Mentia refuse to eat food with flavor additives.	指出其他的可能性	和上句的连贯有问题 也没有展开
In cases like this, we can not expect a decline in the number of headaches.	指出这种可能性成立的后果

In conclusion, we need more information to exam these assumptions discussed above	结尾	discussed above
If one or more of these assumptions are proved to be unwarranted, the conclusion and the expectation of the argument will not be supported.	结尾
建议你看下我的范文 有些切入点你好像错过了 开头段可以简略一下  节省时间 中间段的展开和连贯需要加强

fishgoUID: 3607599

issue 65
Every individual in a society has a responsibility to obey just laws and to disobey and resist unjust laws.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
时间：32min     题目比较难，看了王老师的提纲想了一会儿开始写，尽管写的比较浅显。。字数也很少，以后要保证四百字吧，另外看了天鹅姐的文章，一下子感觉自己的challenge部分写的不行啊。

句子	学生自评	内容点评	语言点评
In my opinion all individuals should obey the just and unjust laws.	表达观点
There is no doubt that every individual in a society should obey just laws， because the just laws  are beneficial to thesociety and themselves.	主题句1		are
What’smore, I think we should obey unjust laws to maintain the stability of society.	主题句2		maintain
We can try to revise the unjust law through legislation. -------------------------------------------------------- To adress the concerns about potential problems of unjust laws, we can try to revise the unjust law through legilation.	主题句3	和上一句的过渡
p2
It is important for every individual to obey just laws which can promote the development of society and themselves.	主题句1
Trafficlaws, for example, benefit the safety of drivers and pedestrians by regulatingthe manners of them.	举例1
Citizens obey the traffic laws to keep themsafe. The society also benefits from the laws which reduce the accident rates.	例子1的展开
Childrenlabor law which protect children from the corruption of commercial interests iswidely accepted by citizens. -------------------------------------------------------- Child-labor regulaitons which protect children from the corruption of commerical interests are widely accepty by citizen. Compulsory educations laws offer the children an opportuinity to get educated.	举例2	Children labor law 这是什么law   你还不如说 law of compulsory education ---------------- 刚查了一下是child-labor regulations and compulsory educations laws
Children in a society can thus live a happy childhood ----------------------------------------------------------------- The two laws mentioned above provide children a good enviroment in which they will not be sent to facotory and can go to school.	例子2的展开	不会这么容易吧
Obeyingthe just laws is necessary. ----------------------------------------------------------------- As we can see, obeying the just laws is beneficial to the inidividuals and the society.	总结	你总得弄点过渡词吧
P3
Individuals should obey the laws even though the laws are viewed as unjust laws. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Individuals should obey the laws even whenthe laws are viewed as unjust laws.	主题句2		even when
Obeyingthe unjust laws is necessary to keep the society in order.	论点
Laws about war are not always thought to bejust.	举例1
When the laws are thought to be unjust,solider still have to obey them to keep the society in order --------------------------------------------------------------- When the laws are thought to be unjust,solider still have to obey them to defend their county and protect the citizens	例子1的展开		keep the society in order 重复用词
Ifsome soldiers refuse to obey the laws and fight against the enemy, the societywill be in a mess.	例子1的展开
So obeying the unjust laws is still a responsibility for individuals.	总结		obeying

P4	学生自评	内容点评	语言表达点评
Some people may concern how can individuals show their concerns about unjust laws. -------------------------------------------------------- Some people may be concerned about how individuals can show their concerns about unjust laws.	主题句3		may be concerned about/ how individuals can ...
Unjustlaws, though obeyed by citizens, can impede the justice in a society.	论点1
We can try to revise the unjust laws through legislation --------------------------------------------------------- To address this issue, we can try to revise the unjust laws through legislation.	论点2	你的句子之间的过渡很有问题   To address this issue, we can ...
In the legislation, laws are enacted and adjusted  to the responses of civilizations ---------------------------------------------------------- In the legislation, senators can propose a change in the law.	勉强算是举例吧		to the responses of civilizations不懂你的意思
As long as much people show their concernsn about the injustice of the laws, the senators may reconsider the law. ---------------------------------------------------------- As long as enough individuals show the sensatos their concern about the potential problems of unjust laws, senators will consider their proposal and sugget to pariliament that a law be altered	上句的延伸		many people senator? legislators
This is a legal and efficient way to revise the unjust laws.	总结
P5
In conclusion, individuals should obey the laws no matter the laws are just ornot.	总结
People can try to revise the unjust law through legislation. --------------------------------------------------------------------- To adress the concerns about negative effects of unjust laws, people can try to revise the unjust law through legislation.	总结	句子间的过渡

fishgoUID: 3607599

argument 15

15) The following memorandum is from the business manager of Happy Pancake House restaurants.
Recently, butter has been replaced by margarine in Happy Pancake House restaurants throughout the southwestern United States. This change, however, has had little impact on our customers. In fact, only about 2 percent of customers have complained, indicating that an average of 98 people out of 100 are happy with the change. Furthermore, many servers have reported that a number of customers who ask for butter do not complain when they are given margarine instead. Clearly, either these customers do not distinguish butter from margarine or they use the term 'butter' to refer to either butter or margarine.

Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------时间：40min

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
本题型为explanation类型，应先找出原文里面的fact与对应的explanation，然后再提出其他的可能挑战原解释的explanation
First we have to identify the observations made and the explanations proposed
we can then discuss how the observations could be explained in alternative ways  

fact- only 2% complained
explanation: an average of 98 people out of 100 are happy with the change

fact- many servers have reported that a number of customers who ask for butter do not complain when they are given margarine instead
explanation: Clearly, either these customers do not distinguish butter from margarine or they use the term 'butter' to refer to either butter or margarine.


简要列一下提纲：
1.fact：只有2%的人抱怨释，原文解释：100中98人对这个变化满意
可能的解释：
1 有些人不喜欢在餐馆当面抱怨，担心太尴尬，而这些人可能就在社交网络facebook、twitter上抱怨
2 餐厅食物做的好吃，服务好，顾客决定不抱怨了
2 fact：server的report讲只有少部分顾客被上错黄油时抱怨，原文解释有两个xxxx，
可能其他的解释：
1 员工隐瞒抱怨的情况，为了自己的表现好看
2 顾客不抱怨而采取不来餐厅吃饭的态度

句子	动作分析	内容点评	语言点评
para.1
Accordingto the manager of Happy Pancake House restaurants, customers of the restaurantwere almost happy with the change of butter by margarine on the fact that 2percent of customers have complained. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Accordingto the manager of Happy Pancake House restaurants, replacing butter with margarine had little influence on their customers based on the his interpretations and explanations of two observations: 1) only 2% of customers complained; 2) customers did not complain about the replacement according to the servers.	概括题目		based on ... only 2%
He concluded that many customers cannotdistinguish butter from margarine or they confuse the conception of"butter". ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 这句删去，并入第一句	概括题目	严格来讲这不是他的结论 而是解释 注意题目的用词
To assess the argument, we need to takeinto account a number of alternative explanations about the attitude ofcustomers toward the change, the report from servers and the conclusion made bythe manager. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- To evaluate the argument critically, we need to explore other alternative explanations for the facts observed and presented.	3个点	第三个点看上去不太合适
para.2
Tobegin with, we need to explain the attitude of customers toward the change.	主题句	need to explore other explanations of why few customers complained about the change 主题句不准确对文章的影响很大
Thefact that little customers have complained does not necessarily show that mostcustomers are happy with the change	指出原文的不足
Perhaps many customers who disagree with thechange don't like to complain to servers.	提出可能的解释
Itis possible that these customers will refuse to eat in the restaurant and theywill complain to their friends about the change.	具体阐述	上句的 don't like to complain 在这句没有具体展开讨论
In cases like this, we cannot get theconclusion that most customers are happy with the change.	产生的影响	注意回应题目的要求 这里的关键词是explanation
para.3
Anotherexplanation we need to discuss is about the report from servers.	主题句	感觉你的主题句写得不在点上 题目要求是对具体的现象提出其他可能的解释	discuss explanation搭配
According to the servers, a number ofcustomers who ask for butter did not complain when they are given margarine	引用文章内容
We don't know whether the servers are tellingthe truth and the exact number of customers that they find do not complain.	指出不足		know后面的两个宾语这样并列很有问题
Itis possible that the servers are afraid the punishment of manager because theydidn't serve what customer want	提出可能的解释	这个应该是执行公司决策吧	afraid of
Sothey didn't tell the manager that many customers complain to them.	接上
Incases like this, we don't know exactly how many customer do not complain.	产生的影响	注意回应题目要求
para.4
Finally,the conclusion of the manager need to be evaluated to assess the argument	主题句	未回应题目要求
Evenwe assume that almost all customers don't complain when they are not served theright "butter", we cannot get the conclusion that they can'tdistinguish butter from margarine or they confuse about the term"butter"	指出不足
It is possible that some of them would acceptboth butter and margarine or some of them are not likely to complain to others.	可能的解释
In cases like this, the conclusion made by the manager are not true.	产生的影响
para.5
Inconclusion, we need to discuss several explanations to evaluate the argument.	总结
Ifwe can exclude these explanations, we can get the conclusion that the changehas little impact on customers.	回应题目

感觉你在中间段的切入点选择和主题句的写作上还有很大的问题 针对这类alternative explanation的题目 首先要确定原题中有哪些facts及相应的explanation 然后再来逐个讨论有什么alternative explanation
请参考我最新的argument 15范文  

fishgoUID: 3607599

重复发帖 留着写明天的练习

fishgoUID: 3607599

issue 122

122) The best way to understand the character of a society is to examine the character of the men and women that the society chooses as its heroes or its role models.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
没什么把握，就写了提纲，我感觉第三点可能会歪。。。。希望老师指正

句子	学 生自 评	内容点评	语言点评
I strongly disagree with the statement that examining the character of heroes and role models choosen by the society is the best way to understand the character of a society.	主旨句
Because characters of the heros and role models are usually exaggeraterd by the mass media for certain purposes. --------------------------------------------------------------------- The character of heros and role models is not trustable because characters of the heros and role models are usually exaggeraterd by the mass media for certain purposes.	主题句1		because不能单独成句 句子结构问题
And the achievements of heros and role models are often ideal realization of our dreams which can not be achieved by most people ----------------------------------------------------------------------- And sometimes these people are just too perferct for us to imitate in real lives.	主题句2		ideal realization of our dreams 表达有问题
Some people may argue that these heros and role models did represent some realistic characters of the society. but the number of the heros and role models is too small to represent the whole society. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 我还是采用老师的观点吧，保险起见 Some people may argue that the proposed approach is the best considering its cost-effectiveness.  I would argue that in the age of big data, we can analyze the behaviors of ordinary people quantitatively at reasonable costs.	主题句3	不太确定你如何反驳 要看后面
To begin with, characters of the heros and role models are usually exaggeraterd by the mass media for certain purposes.	主题句1
举例雷锋，在雷锋的事迹中，在媒体的传播中，雷锋是一个生活简朴， 总是穿破旧衣服的人	举例
而实际上他是在生活方面是比较时髦，穿着体面	对例子进行分析
显然雷锋的事迹中他的生活的简朴被媒体夸大了，而原因很可能就是媒体 需要打造一个完美的道德模范,便于人们无可挑剔	例子与主题联系
所以说人们所听说的道德模范的特质并不一定真实。 -------------------------------------------------------------------- 所以说这些英雄的特质不能真实的反映社会的特质	总结	要记得回到题目的主旨上去
Moreover, the achievements of heros and role models are often ideal realization of our dreams which can not be achieved by most people. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Moreover, sometimes these people are just too perferct for us to imitate in real lives.	主题句2	realization of our dreams这个表述不太好理解
举例在中国的汶川地震中，很多老师被塑造成舍己为人， 不惜自己生命拯救学生的道德标兵。	举例
这样的特质固然很难得，值得赞扬，但对普通人而言， 出于求生的本能，为了别人牺牲自己是很难做到的，	对例子分析
这样的品质只能是人们的一个难以实现的理想。	例子联系主题
所以英雄和道德模范的品质对普通人不现实。 --------------------------------------------------------------- 所以这些人的品质太过于完美，一般人实现不了，因此也就不能反映整个社会的特质	总结	同样的要结合题目的核心问题来讨论 就是能不能通过研究榜样来研究社会

句子	学生自评	内容点评	语言表达点评
However，Some people may argue that these heros and role models did represent some realistic characters of the society.	主题句
不可否认，像遵纪守法，爱护公共卫生等特质确实在一些模范上体现 出来，似乎也能反映社会的特质，	让步
但这些模范的数量实在太少了，不足以反映整个社会的风气，	反驳	我不太看好你这里说数量少作为反驳
要想反映整个社会，这样的特质就必须就绝大多数的普通人 身上体现出来才行	提出解决方法
所以这些英雄和模范还是无法体现社会的特质。	总结
In sum, studying character of the heros and models can not help us to understand the character of a society.	重述主旨
Because the character of these heros and models are not necessary true and hard to achieve for ordinary people.	重述主题句1/2
What's more, the number of them are too small to represent the society..	重述主题句3

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

fishgo 发表于 2015-6-18 20:55
issue 122

122) The best way to understand the character of a society is to examine the character ...

已点评

fishgoUID: 3607599

argument 84
The following is a letter to the editor of an environmental magazine.
Two studies of amphibians in Xanadu National Park confirm a significant decline in the numbers of amphibians. In 1975 there were seven species of amphibians in the park, and there were abundant numbers of each species. However, in 2002 only four species of amphibians were observed in the park, and the numbers of each species were drastically reduced. One proposed explanation is that the decline was caused by the introduction of trout into the park's waters, which began in 1975. (Trout are known to eat amphibian eggs.)

Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
时间：38min 还是没有及时完成，可能是因为中间两段每段都提出了两个可能的解释，所以写的多了一点，以后还是要量力而行，毕竟时间才是最重要的！

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------第三点，人为因素，借鉴天鹅姐的例子，For  example, tourists might increased since 1975, and they also spent nights in  the Park.Since  many amphibians mate at night, the noises and lights of human activities  mifht scare them or drive them away from their mating areas, thus decreased  the reproduction.

句子	作用	内容点评	语言点评
According to the letter, there exists a significant decline in the number of amphibians for the two studies of amphibians in XNP. The author accliams that the decilne is result form the introduction of trout into the park's waters. -------------------------------------------------------------- According to the letter, a singnificant decline has  in the number of amphibians  has been shown in two studies in XNP. The author claims that the decline results  from the introduction of ....	概括题目		exists 选词 for two studies表达 acclaims- 选词 is result 动词形式
To evulate the argument critically, we need to explore alternative explanations for the results of two studies.	主旨句
First, given the fact there is a decline in the number of amphibians of the two studies, the author believes that the number of amphibians has decreased in the past few years. ------------------------------------------------------------ First, given the fact there is a decline in the number of amphibians observed in the two studies, the author believes that the number of amphibians has decreased in the past few years.	重述文章的事实与解释		number of .. observed in the two studies
But there might be other explanations for the results of the two studies.	主题句
For example, the first study was conducted in the summer of 1975 in which the amphibians were active and can easily be seen. ----------------------------------------------------------- For example, the first study was conducted in the summer of 1975 in which the amphibians were active and could be easily seen.	解释可能性1		could be conducted注意情态动词的使用 be easily seen
While the second study was conducted in the winter of 2002 when amphibians were not that active and hided in some palces.	接上讨论
In cases like this, the results of the two studies are not accurate and realiable. ------------------------------------------------------------ In cases like this,  neither of the studies are accurate and we can not compere the result of the two studies.	提出对原文推理的影响	这里要强调两个结果不可比
We can not conclude that there exits a decline in the number of amphibians. ------------------------------------------------------------ We can not conclude that there exit/is a decline in the number of amphibians.	总结		exist 拼写 选词
Secondly, even we assume that the number of amphibians did decrease in the past few years, such decline may not result from the introduction of trout.	指出有其他的解释
There are many environmental factors, such as the temperature and disease, can infulence the survival of amphibians. ----------------------------------------------------------- Many environmental factors, such as the temperature and disease, can infulence the survival of amphibians.	主题句		that can 严重句子结构问题
For example, the tempeature has increased significantly since 1975, which made many amphibians hard to survive. ----------------------------------------------------- For example, the tempeature could have increased significantly since 1975, which made many amphibians hard to survive.	可能性1		could have increased 注意情态动词使用 ------------------- 情态动词，表虚拟，描述过去没发生但可能发生的事情
It is possible that in one year between 1975 and 2002 a disease which can kill amphibians occured in the park and caused the death of many amphibians.	可能性2
In cases like this, the decline is resulted from environmental factors rather than the introduction of trout.	总结		resulted from
In additon, artifical factors, such as the change of feeding habitat and living environment in the park, can cause the decline of amphibians.	主题句		不懂什么叫articificial factor ---------------- human factor 人为因素
For example, to save money, the amphibians were feed less frequently than in 1975, which cause starve of some amphibians.	可能性1	这个是park  不是 zoo	starvation ---------------- starve V starvation N
And these starve amphibians could hardly feed themselves and died later.	解释可能性1		starving might die
It is possible that the environment in whic these amphibians lives was changed by people who made a new arrangement of the park.	接上		made a new arrangement不懂 需要提供具体细节
And some amphibians could not easily adopt to the new environmet and died later.	可能性2		adapt ----------------- adapt：适应改编 adopt：采取接受
In cases like this, the decline is result from artifical factors rather than the introduction of trout. ----------------------------------------------------------- In cases like this, the decline might result from artifical factors rather than the introduction of trout.	总结		might result from ----------------- 情态动词，对故去的事情的假设
In conclusion, there are many alternative explanations for the decline of the decline of amphibians.	呼应题目
We need to investigate the natural and artifical factor to find the real reason for the decline.	重述主题句

感觉中间前两段写得不错 中间第三段不是很靠谱  注意语言表达的问题 尤其是情态动词的使用

fishgoUID: 3607599

issue 59

Scientists and other researchers should focus their research on areas that are likely to benefit the greatest number of people.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
构思2：:30
提纲10:30
补充例子12:21
花了好多时间。。。心好疼。。。。---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
看了老师的范文，我觉得还是分成三个领域讲好，光分学科太狭窄了，还是用natural science、engineering 、social science 这三个分类吧
I think this argument is reasonable for researchers in engineering. But when it comes to researchers in natural sciences and social sciences, such a utilitarian approach violates the basic principles of researches in these fields.  
范文地址 https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... amp;fromuid=3607599

In circumstances like medical science and computer science , I agree with the claim that scientists and researchers should focus on the areas which can benefit the greatest number of people. While in circumstance like physics science, the researchers should focus on the areas which can benefit the development of the science.

In medical science, researchers should focus on area that can treat the popular illness and improve the healthy of most people. 在医学发展的早期，医学的研究集中在治疗人们日常的疾病，比如感冒、发热等，之后着手解决器官移植，为重大伤残的人民提供治疗，发展到现在，人民的需求成为了抵制衰老，延长生命，医学的研究就主要集中在分子医学，旨在从更细微的层面研究器官的衰竭、疾病的发病原因。因此，医学领域，研究的重点始终是为更多的人提供健康。

In computer science, scientist should focus on areas that can make information available to most people. 网络的发展惠及全球人民，研究网络的科学人员宗旨在于让全球的人民更快更多的获得信息、分享信息，因此他们先后研制出了3G、4G、5Glte，并且还在研发更快的通信协议。因此，信息科学领域的研究宗旨是给更多的人更快的提供信息。

In physics science, since the subject does not directly have much to do with the benefit of common people, the researchers should focus on the areas that can promote the development of science. 物理学科在研究领域与人们的生活联系不是很密切，因此，它们的研究重点集中在更好的了解世界，促进科学的发展，天文学的发展就是一个例子，天文学从一开始观测天空，到现在研究宇宙星体，并没有为人们的利益作出提高，它们的研究目的就是更好的了解世界，了解宇宙。
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

句子	作用	内容点评	语言点评
para.1
In circumstances like medical science and computer science ,I agree with the claim that scientists and researchers should focus on the areas which can benefit the greatest number of people.	主旨句		circumstance选词 ------------------ 改成cases？
While in circumstance like physics science, the researchers should focus on the areas which can benefit the development of the science.	主旨句
para.2
In medical science, researchers should focus on area that can treat the popular illness and improve the healthy of most people. ----------------------------------------------------- In medical science, researchers should focus on area that can treat the pandemics and improve the health of most people.	主题句		popular 选词 healthy- 词性
在医学发展的早期，医学的研究集中在治疗人们日常的疾病，比如感冒、发热等，之后着手解决器官移植，为重大伤残的人民提供治疗，	例子前半部分
发展到现在，人民的需求成为了抵制衰老，延长生命，医学的研究就主要集中在分子医学，旨在从更细微的层面研究器官的衰竭、疾病的发病原因	例子后半部分
因此，医学领域，研究的重点始终是为更多的人提供健康。	总结
para.3
In computer science, scientist should focus on areas that can make information available to most people.	主题句
网络的发展惠及全球人民，研究网络的科学人员宗旨在于让全球的人民更快更多的获得信息、分享信息，	例子说理
因此他们先后研制出了3G、4G、5Glte，并且还在研发更快的通信协议。	例子描述
因此，信息科学领域的研究宗旨是给更多的人更快的提供信息。	总结
para.4
In physics science, since the subject does not directly have much to do with the benefit of common people, the researchers should focus on the areas that can promote the development of science.	主题句
物理学科在研究领域与人们的生活联系不是很密切，因此，它们的研究重点集中在更好的了解世界，促进科学的发展，	说理
天文学的发展就是一个例子，天文学从一开始观测天空，到现在研究宇宙星体，并没有为人们的利益作出提高。	引出例子
他们的研究目的就是更好的了解世界，了解宇宙。	解释例子
因此物理科学的研究目的不在于惠及更多的人群，而在于探索世界，认知科学。	总结

你分了三个领域来讲 但是 其他领域呢？  你要考虑以这些领域作为例子来代表更大的领域
也许医学算一个单独的领域 物理可以算自然科学
计算机算工程 这样就能具有广泛代表性

fishgoUID: 3607599

issue.34
In any situation, progress requires discussion among people who have contrasting points of view.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------审题：3min
提纲：11min
补充：16min
还是超时。。。真不知道该怎么缩短时间了，还是要把句子往简洁了写----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
范文地址：https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... amp;fromuid=3607599
中心思想还是分类，分成三个领域：外交领域、科学领域、政治领域，都是agree

句子	作用	内容点评	语言点评
para.1
Does progress require discussion among people who have contrasting points of view?	问句开头
In my opinion, the answer to the question depens on what kind of people we are talking about.	主旨句
For the scientists and politians, discussion of different opinions is necessary to progress.	主题句1.2
On the other side, for worker, progress requires people sharing the same point of view..	主题句3	我觉得这里说workers不合适 因为workers一般不需要discussion 也不是他们工作的一部分
para.2
To start with, the discussion of contrasting view among scientists is always immportant to the development of science.	主题句
科学的发展源于不同理论的相互冲突，最终是通过新理论推翻旧理论实现进步	说理
举例爱因斯坦的相对论在产生初期受到牛顿的经典力学支持者的反对，最终证明在特定情况下是正确的。 ---------------------------------------- 例子不好想啊，只能用思想例子，定量研究（quantitative research ）和定性研究（qualitative research ）的学者需要取长补短	举例	你这里的例子要小心 牛顿和爱因斯坦是不同时代的人 而且相对论也不是直接反对经典力学吧
这两种互相相驳斥的理论的讨论促进了物理学的全面发展	解释
因此，对科学家而言，持有相对观点的人民的讨论能促进进步。	总结
para.3
What's more, progress of a policy requires discussion among politians holding contrasting views.	主题句		progress of a policy选词搭配 ---------------
政策被执行前会征求政治家的意见，通常会有两种相反的观点。 -------------------------------------------- 不同的政治家的立场不一样，通过讨论使政策更完善。民主党（Democratic Party）和共和党（Republican Party）需要在国会里就不同的问题展开讨论。 民主党通常从平民利益出发，共和党更代表商家和中产阶级，需要通过妥协来找到最合适的政策	说理
举例，中国的改革开放政策实施前，支持者认为会引进资本提供机遇，反对者则认为会破坏现有经济结构。	举例	为什么观点不同的人之间的讨论是进步所必须的呢 在这里没有看到你的理由
经过权衡最终实施该政策，结果是成功的。对该政策的讨论完善了多方面的细节，避免了很多可能会出现的问题，最终促进了中国的经济发展。	解释
因此，对政治家而言，对持有相对观点的讨论能保证政策的完善。	总结
para.4
While for workers, progress requires people sharing the same point of view and cooperating with each other.	总结		While for workers用法 ----------------- However, for workers ,
工人的任务是按照任务要求完成任务，要想获得进步，只有严格按照要求，努力的执行，并不断提高质量。	正面说理	这个点不合适
对一个工厂而言，如果工人对任务的要求存在不同的看法，那么工厂的正常生产就会被耽误。	反面说理
因此，对工人而言，要想取得提高，必须所有人确认同一个目标，共同合作。	总结

fishgoUID: 3607599

argument 35
The following appeared in a letter from the owner of the Sunnyside Towers apartment complex to its manager.
One month ago, all the showerheads in the first three buildings of the Sunnyside Towers complex were modified to restrict maximum water flow to one-third of what it used to be. Although actual readings of water usage before and after the adjustment are not yet available, the change will obviously result in a considerable savings for Sunnyside Corporation, since the corporation must pay for water each month. Except for a few complaints about low water pressure, no problems with showers have been reported since the adjustment. I predict that modifying showerheads to restrict water flow throughout all twelve buildings in the Sunnyside Towers complex will increase our profits even more dramatically.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

思考：2min
提纲: 12min
补充：11min
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------看完范文后发现只有一点写对了。。。


“拿到这道题首先要搞清楚前提和结论是什么。这里的结论是在所有的公寓里改装花洒头可以显著提高利润。而前提和证据则包括前三栋公寓改装后没有收到投诉、尚无水表读数以及公司需要每月付水费。这里需要知道利润是由收入和开支决定的，因此可以从这两方面展开讨论。其中开支主要包括水费以及改装的费用，而收入则主要是租金收入。因此需要讨论的问题包括

- 水费是不是真的会节省
- 改装的费用会不会影响利润
- 改装会否赶走现有的和潜在的租客  
”

句子	作用	内容点评	语言点评
para.1
According to the letter, the author predict that modifying showerhead to restrict water flow throughout all building in the Sunnyside Towers complex can increase the profits of the company. ---------------------------------------- 概括的太粗糙了，重新概括一下 According to the letter, the author recommends that modifying all showerhead in Sunnyside Towers can save water and increase profits. He makes the recommendation on the fact that the modification only a few complaints are reported after the showerheas in the three bulidings were modified.	概括题目		predicts
He made the argument based on the assumption that the change in three buildings of the complex will result in a considerable savings and on the fact that no complaints about showers have been reported.	概括题目	原题是a few complaints	saving of ...
To evaluate the argument critically, we need to ask a few questions about the savings resulted from the change in the three buildings, the problems with the showers and the reliability of the prediction. ----------------------------------------- To evaluate the argument critically, we need to ask a few questions about whether the water can be saved, the cost of modification and its effects on leasing business.	主题句1.2.3	the problems with the showers  这个看不出来你想说什么	that resulted from
para.2
To begin with, we need to discuss the question about the savings resulted from the changes in the three building. ----------------------------------------- To begin with, we need to answer the question about the savings of water that resulted from the changes in the three building.	主题句		that resulted from answer the question/ investigate the issue
有关调整前后的用水量数据没出来，无法得知是否节省开支。	复述题目内容
很有可能水流量限制后，人们为了冲洗干净，不得不延长洗澡时间，导致用水比原来更多，	列举可能情况
在这样的情况下，这个调整反而增加了公司的开支。需要得知确切的用水量变化才能回答这个问题。	产生的影响
para.3
We also need to answer the question about the probability of problems about the shower. ------------------------------------------ We also need to anaswer the question about the cost of modification. 可能劳工费（labor cost）超过了水费节省的开支	主题句	感觉这个切入点不靠谱
报道只有关于水压的抱怨，没有关于洗澡的问题，但不一定表明洗澡就没有问题。	可能性
很有可能报道不可靠，没有报道关于洗澡的问题，或者这三栋楼的人选择不抱怨，	具体讲可能情况
这样的情况下，就不应该继续执行这个调整	总结
para.4
What's more, we need to answer that whether the prediction is reasonable. ------------------------------------------ 其实原来是想说前三栋楼的情况不一定能试用在剩下的楼，结果表达太困难了，就写出了那样的句子，不过既然这个点不合适就果断放弃吧 改： What's more, we need to answer whether the current prospective tenants of the complex will be dissatisfied with the restricted water flow and move away. 如果当地有价格环境差不多，水流量正常的出租楼，很多不满的租客会搬到那边去	主题句	这个主题句有问题 整篇文章的中心就是predictable是否reasonable 这不应该成为这一段的中心 你需要重新尝试概括这段的内容	answer that whether 表达
即使这个调整在前三栋楼是能显著减少水费，但不表明在所有12栋楼执行后也能减少水费，因为不知道其他9栋楼的用户洗澡习惯与前三栋比是否相同。	可能性	We need to look into whether the rest of the buildings are sufficiently similar to the first three buildings in terms of resident behavior 或许这样写好些？ ---------------- 这个概括很好，要是走大运抽到这题，那我就把这点也加上去，哈哈！
很有可能其余12栋楼用户大部分不是使用沐浴的方式洗澡，而是选择泡在浴缸里	具体描述可能情况
那么这个调整就不能在这9栋楼减少显著的水费。	总结

fishgoUID: 3607599

issue.57
The main benefit of the study of history is to dispel the illusion that people living now are significantly different from people who lived in earlier times.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

思考3min，提纲：7min，补充12min  感觉这个题目不好写，主要不好分类讨论，自己试着分了两个大点讨论，没什么把握
我写完才发现自己好像没有回应consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true，因为我是全盘否定的，所以没有might hold true的，想问一下批改的同学和老师，这个点在这篇里面怎么回应呢？
既然是or 那就是可以全盘否定
consideration就是从哪方面考虑 这个最好在中间段解释清楚
我大概是和那个“需要提出最能够反驳自己的点”题型混起来了，好在issue的题库里面也只有那一类题目要求是那样的

句子	作用	内容点评	语言点评
para.1
Can we dispel the illusion that people living now are significantly different from people who lived in the earlier times by studying history? I don't agree with that. -------------------------------------------------- 审题没审好，我应该想到题目里面是有两个点的，一个是benefit，一个是illusion。思想应该是illusion是事实，benefit另有其他。 改写：I don't agree with the statement about how can we benefit from studying history because people nowadays are indeed very different from thoese in earlier times.	主旨句	这个问句完全忽略了原题里的benefit 严重的不符合题意啊 你这句话在暗示这确实是illusion 但是接下来这句话又不是这个意思
In my opinion, people living now are different from people who lived in earlier times in both mental and physical aspects.	主题句1、2
The main benefit of the study of history is to learn lessons from the past events.	主旨句3
para.2
In nowadays, people have changed a lot in physical aspects. --------------------------------------------------- Nowadays, people are very different from our ancestors in physiological aspects.	主题句		In nowadays搭配 physical - physiological
身体方面随着衣食住行条件的提高，出现了相应的变化。	说理
随着医疗条件的改善，人们的平均寿命延长到80多岁。	例子1
由于交通工具的出现，人类的奔跑能力下降，相对的动手能力上升 ------------------------------------------------- 由于营养的过剩，加上缺乏运动，人类患上了很多疾病，比如高血压，这些病早期是没有的	例子2	动手能力不算physical aspect
因此自然条件与物质条件的变化导致人们的物理方面不再相同。	总结
para.3
People living now are different from early people in mental aspects -------------------------------------------------- “Our belief systems have also been modernized since Industrial Revolution”	主题句	我在范文中用的是belief system 感觉比你这里说 mental aspects要准确 ------------------- 不过belief system好难写啊。。我争取吸收
心理方面与科学息息相关。科学的发展解释了人们的困惑，使人们的心理方面更加健康，积极向上。	说理
过去绝大多数人们相信巫术，现在大家都知道那是化学反应和魔术的组合，现在人们更加追求自由，快乐。	举例	对巫术的理解和追求自由快乐好像没什么关系吧   --------------------- 好吧，不如改成过去人相信命运是有上天注定，现在人更加强调通过自己的努力改变命运
因此科学的进步也改变了人们的心理状态。	总结
para.4
The main benefit of the study of history is to learn lessons from the past events. -------------------------------------------------- 加个过渡：“As I illustrate clearly above, the difference between us and our ancestors is not an illusion. Therefore, one of the benefits of studying history is to recognize and understand that difference and feel lucky and grateful for the more desirable human conditions. Nevertheless, the statement is also wrong in assuming that the study of history is only a matter of learning facts. ”承上启下，先说明illusion根本就是事实，然后回到题目里面，说学习历史的作用就是要认识这个差异，再启示下文，讲学习历史还有其他的作用。	主题句	这里要注意过渡 可参考我的范文
学习历史目的不是为了研究过去人们与现在人的区别，而是从过去的历史事件学习教训与经验。	说理
通过对中国抗日战争历史的学习，我们学到的一个国家拥有独立主权的重要性。 --------------------------------------------------- 换成工业革命的启示意义就是让我们预测到Internet对现代企业的作用	举例	这个例子太复杂了 很难写清楚
它的作用在于启示现在人要加强国家的综合实力。	解释例子
因此历史的主要目标是学习经验教训。	总结

感觉你在分论点的设置和具体例子的选取方面还需要慢慢磨练

fishgoUID: 3607599

内容反馈汇总之一：回应题目关键词和遵循写作指引
5.27 issue 13

Universities should require every student to take a variety of courses outside the student's field of study.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

第三段及点评
For the students major in literature, some people may think there is no need for them to take a variety of courses on the consideration that literary creation only depends personal aspiration and life experience. In my opinion, though knowledge of many other fields is not necessary for students major in literature, an excellent literal product should be original from life and can inspire people, if a student doesn't even know the common sense and has trouble in understanding the newspaper, how could he make a literary comment? So it is still important for these students to take courses outside literature.

students major in literature语法
第三段如果是挑战自己的观点的话 就得回到前面的点上去 而不是另说literature
Some people may argue that such requirement would take away the time that can be spent on the major courses   
或许可以这样提出挑战
回应可以是 students may take the courses for pass or fail in order to reduce the workload  
思考和总结
针对挑战自己的观点的问题，我一开始没有理解，以为提出一种不使用的情况或者例子就行，经老师点拨后，才发现要从一个新的角度，对以上两种情况都能提出反驳、异议，所以从时间占用上来说是可行的，不管学哪一科，时间占用问题都是存在的，对应的回应是：对专业课程以外的课程学习，可以允许学生只要达到及格就可以，或者在多门科目中，选取少量得分计入考察。

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
6.3 issue 62

Leaders are created by the demands that are placed on them.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

第一段及点评
If one person want to be a leader in the field that he works in, he should first master excellent professional skills. By receiving  relevant training can a person get professional skills and better understanding of the job and the field he works in. With through understanding of the job,one can be qualified a leader in his field. Take IT industry for example, almost all engineers were once freshmen ,and they started work as coders. After mastering excellent programming skills, they can think on a high lever, and thus lead workers in a group.

这段本身还行 但是硬伤是没有回应题目的关键词 created by demand
你就是反对也得时不时踩上几脚啊  

思考和总结
写例子实在太累了，写完后就忘记要呼应主题了，在这段最后加上
老师的呼应：In other words, taking the leadership roles in an institution does not necessarily relate to the demands for leadership.  
我的呼应： In this case, it is the professional skills rather than demands makes one a leader.
现在感觉呼应主题这个点，就是要不断的在文章中把主题句重复，尤其是每段最后，结合该段的主题句，换个表达方式再说一遍就行。

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
6.12 argument 28

The following appeared in the summary of a study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia.        
Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, for the past several decades, food-processing companies have also been adding salicylates to foods as preservatives. This rise in the commercial use of salicylates has been found to correlate with a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by participants in our twenty-year study. Recently, food-processing companies have found that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods. With this new use for salicylates, we can expect a continued steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia.        

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

第一段及点评
To begin with, it is assumed that salicylates can be used to treat headaches.It is true that aspirin, a number of the same chemical family as salicylates, can be used to treat headaches.But it is important to note that salicylates may not have the same effects on headaches as aspirin.It is possible that salicylates do not react the bacterial of headaches due to its special chemical propriety.In cases like this, salicylates can not be used to treat headaches.
这里谈后果要结合题目的结论 而不是简单否定主题句的假设

思考和总结
In cases like this,  the prediction would become groundless(原文的最后的结论是一个prediction)
差不多和上一篇同样的问题，在这次虽然在中间段的最后想起来要回应主题了，但是回应的不够准确，文章的中心思想是根据一种要能治头痛这个事实，作出一个预测，所以回应的话要针对这个预测做评价，而我当时由于对文章中心思想解读不到位，回应的时候只提及了这个事实是否准备，而没有评价prediction。
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
6.16 argument 15

The following memorandum is from the business manager of Happy Pancake House restaurants.
Recently, butter has been replaced by margarine in Happy Pancake House restaurants throughout the southwestern United States. This change, however, has had little impact on our customers. In fact, only about 2 percent of customers have complained, indicating that an average of 98 people out of 100 are happy with the change. Furthermore, many servers have reported that a number of customers who ask for butter do not complain when they are given margarine instead. Clearly, either these customers do not distinguish butter from margarine or they use the term 'butter' to refer to either butter or margarine.

Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.

第二段及点评
Tobegin with, we need to explain the attitude of customers toward the change.Thefact that little customers have complained does not necessarily show that mostcustomers are happy with the change. Perhaps many customers who disagree with thechange don't like to complain to servers. Itis possible that these customers will refuse to eat in the restaurant and theywill complain to their friends about the change. In cases like this, we cannot get theconclusion that most customers are happy with the change.

need to explore other explanations of why few customers complained about the change
主题句不准确对文章的影响很大
注意回应题目的要求 这里的关键词是explanation

思考和总结
这次是在开头和结尾都出现了这样的问题，这次是对explanation这种题型没有准备，这样的题型是探索其他的解释，那么就要从原文中提取出fact和已有的explanation，然后再针对fact提出自己的explanation。所以写作格式上就要紧紧围绕explanation，这样才能回应题目的要求。