毉易-牧羊人练习帖

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

15）Educational institutions should actively encourage their students to choose fields of study that will prepare them for lucrative careers.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

It's axiomatic that education is freedom and equal to everybody and whether we should choose fields of study that prepare us for lucrative careers or of our interests depends much on ourselves rather on educational institutions. There forth, whether educational groups should actively encourage their students to pursue what subjects will vary from person to person and need a comprehend view concerning families, schools, as well as the whole society.

Firstly, university students are our country's promising generations, a freedom and open education will greatly boost our homeland's developments. We will probably all reckon that it is knowledge that differentiates us from animals; especially the education in university is a diamond of our human's intellect system, while the most valuable merits of a university is that it can encourage their students to research whatever they want as long as those researches will not destroy us. Take Einstein for example, if he did choose fields that prepare him for a lucrative future; then we would lose a greatest scientist in our human history.

what's more, taking the harmonious development of our society into consideration, if, the majority of students only choose several fields that can guarantee them a profit future, the balance of our country will break down, which is a disaster to us all. Take the fields of bio-engineering for example, comparing to other subjects like law, medicine and monetary and so forth, bio-engineering is a brand-new field that cannot guarantee profits immediately in the future, however, if all of our students do not choose this field, as a result, this field will wither and we will losing a promising technology that could bring us hopes in diagnosing and curing diseases.

Admittedly, in some circumstances, students should be encouraged by educational institutions to pursue the fields that promise a better job. Take my friends John for example, he is extremely interested in computer and software, even though he did worse on his math and chemistry. His ambition is to join a vocational campus to further study his interest and set up a computer company like APPLE in the future. Just like not every stone is alike, it not every student embrace higher education and those students prefer a more pragmatic attitude towards their future.

In short, before persuading their students to pursue a field, universities or campus or vocational schools should keep a balance among students’ abilities and interests and the heathy progress of our country and human being.

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

Issue 62
Leaders are created by the demands that are placed on them.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

Throughout the history, it is still a mystery to define what is a qualitative leader and how to be a qualified leader. In some circumstances, leaders are created by the demands that are placed on them just like what the issue puts, like the leaders in governments and schools. However, there are others causes that equally defines what is a leader; take corporations as an example and so on.

Firstly, the leaders in official governments and other international organizations like WHO, UN and so on, those leaders are created to meet people's needs and bring fortune and happiness to us all. Since the first birth of a baby, he or she needs food to support himself or herself; After solving the problems of eating, he or she may needs some beautiful clothes and a harmonious family; After that he or she may requires attention and respect from others and a desire to fulfill himself or herself. We also know that human are a deficient species, more or less, there are greedy, arrogance and lethargy and so forth that dominate us from time to time. And thus, leaders in governments or international institutes are created to justify that human are created equal and there should not wars or discriminations among any country or any religion.

What's more, for the preservation and continuation of our system of knowledge, schools are created. From the ancient Greece to China, from the middle UK to modern US, from the law of gravity to the law of relativity; the knowledge are amassed and developed by generations of people. To not let our human legacy of wisdom to wither, schools are founded to educate students to pass the wisdom on. And thus teachers, as leaders of education, are qualified by schools to inform us the rule of the world and inspire us to explore the unknown. Without them, we would not meet the Renaissance as well as the First, Second and Third Industry Revolution, we would as primitive as our ancestor. There forth, the demand that the continuation of our knowledge creates the leaders of schools and the whole education.

While the leaders in government and schools are founded by various of demands, there are many others reasons that require a leader, like corporation. The leaders in many types of corporation are created for bring the newest products to society and pursuing the best profit. Take APPLE for example, Steven Jobs may be among the greatest leaders and entrepreneurs in the world; he created the time of personal computer and the generation of Apple phones around the world. Thus, he and his company are created for changing the way we think and work, and his products are produced to make the profits max. In conclusion, there are indeed some leaders that are created for incentives to make profits and change our world.

Taken together, to make our world more harmonious and prosperous, we need leaders; to better prepared us to embrace tomorrow, we need also leaders.

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

In some circumstances, leaders are created by the demands that are placed on them just like what the issue puts, like the leaders in governments and schools. However, there are others causes that equally defines what is a leader; take corporations as an example and so on.
仅仅看你的主旨句就出现了自相矛盾的情况
要避免这种情况你需要具体指出在什么情况下leaders are created by the demands that are placed on them  

然后这个主题句What's more, for the preservation and continuation of our system of knowledge, schools are created.
leader去哪儿了   主题句都偏题了  这段不就废了么

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

tesolchina 发表于 2015-6-28 23:26
In some circumstances, leaders are created by the demands that are placed on them just like what the ...

恩恩，谢谢王老师的点评，写第二个论点的时候，偏到教育上去了，后来才发现竟然没有leader，应改为：for the preservation and continuation of our system of knowledge, the leaders of schools, namely the teachers, are created. 可否呢？

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

毉易-牧羊人 发表于 2015-6-28 23:32
恩恩，谢谢王老师的点评，写第二个论点的时候，偏到教育上去了，后来才发现竟然没有leader，应改 ...

你改了主题句 后面的内容也得重写啊
关键问题还是你如何解决自相矛盾呢
你可以去看看我写的这篇 以及其他同学的练习

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

tesolchina 发表于 2015-6-28 23:37
你改了主题句 后面的内容也得重写啊
关键问题还是你如何解决自相矛盾呢
你可以去看看我写的这篇 以及 ...

好的，谢谢王老师啦

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

argument 14 several days left to attend the exam, please criticize me
The following appeared as part of an article in a business magazine.

"A recent study rating 300 male and female Mentian advertising executives according to the average number of hours they sleep per night showed an association between the amount of sleep the executives need and the success of their firms. Of the advertising firms studied, those whose executives reported needing no more than 6 hours of sleep per night had higher profit margins and faster growth. These results suggest that if a business wants to prosper, it should hire only people who need less than 6 hours of sleep per night."

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

According to the survey provided by the question, if a business wants to prosper, it should be hire only people who sleep less than 6 hours. In taking a retinal responses to this argument, we need scientifically examine the assumptions the survey based on; whether the 300 people can represent the whole business people and if there are other reasons concerning the success of their firms besides sleeping as well as whether the founding of Mentian adverting can apply all the business circle.

Firstly, we need to know how the 300 male and female are selected and whether they can represent the whole business people. For example, if the 300 people are selected in several very successful advertising companies, it is surly that those executives have a much less sleep comparing to other companies, for those people would have more pressure to bring profits to keep the pace of the development of their companies. What's more, if there are only 20 women who take part in this survey; then the results may not represent the sleeping statues of women comparing to men. Since those executives are all in the fields of advertising, the results of the survey may not apply for other fields, for the reason that the advertising industry is more busy than other industries in general.

Apart from the critique above, we need to assure that whether sleeping is the only factor that could contribute the success of a enterprise. The answer, is definitely NO. Even though those people who sleep less than 6 hours enjoy more success, we cannot guarantee that less than 6 hours' sleep can bring fortune all the time. Whether, there are other reasons, like industrious, diligent, hardworking, efficient, corporation, coordination as well as other merits that could equally make a company successful? As a result, it is the reason that those people are more industries rather than they sleep less that make them different from others. Thus, without knowing others factors that could equally effect the success of those businessman, we could not sure whether less than 6 hours' work is essential for the success of an executive.

Also, we need to contemplate that whether the discoveries in the field in advertising can apply to other fields. For the obvious reasons, we all know that advertising company is much busy than other fields. For they need to process many promotion protocols and spare no efforts to meet the demand of customers. Other fields, like factories workers, since they could only work 7-8 hours a day, they need not sleep that less compare to the executives of advertising company. Therefore, without the investigation of other fields we cannot come to the conclusion that if businessmen wants to success, they should be hire only people who sleep less than 6 hours.

Taken together, without knowing the assumptions above, we just cannot sure whether the suggestion the survey provides is right or wrong. For a through scientific conclusions, we need more details and comparisons.

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

这道题我们之前练过，你可以看看我的范文和其他同学的习作
我的范文可以在我博客里找到
习作可以在https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1826310-1-1.html找到

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

tesolchina 发表于 2015-6-28 23:22
这道题我们之前练过，你可以看看我的范文和其他同学的习作
我的范文可以在我博客里找到
习作可以在http ...

好的！谢谢老师

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

毉易-牧羊人练习帖 ARGUMENT 1
Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea and therefore were believed to have been made only by the Palean people. Recently, however, archaeologists discovered such a "Palean" basket in Lithos, an ancient village across the Brim River from Palea. The Brim River is very deep and broad, and so the ancient Paleans could have crossed it only by boat, and no Palean boats have been found. Thus it follows that the so-called Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

According to the material mentions above, the so-called Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean. However, if this conclusion is true, we need several specific evidence, for example, what the condition of The Brim River is in ancient when comparing with nowadays; is there other means that Paleans can take advantage of that they can crossed The Brim River in the past? Is it really that Palean cannot build a boat just because archaeologists have not been found the evidence of a boat?

First of all, we need to clarify what the condition of The Brim River in the past and today. It is self-evident that the River should not be a barrier to interrupt the communication between the Paleans and Lithos provided that, when there were winters in the past, the Rives were covered by enough ice that people can go through the River without any efforts; what's more, the River might be much smaller than today that the Paleans could pass the river without any implements. Therefore, unless do we know more details about the River, we cannot come to the conclusion that The Brim River is very deep and broad and thus the ancient Paleans could not crossed the River.

What's more, we need more evidence about if there are other ways that the Paleans can utilize to cross the River or it is the Lithos that cross the River rather than the Paleans. Perhaps  there were many trees in the past, and thus, the Paleans could utilize those trees to build a bridge on the River, therefore, the Paleans needn't to build a boat at all. Or it is the Lithos that built a boat to cross the River to communicate with the Paleans that the people of Paleans need not to build a boat either. There forth, if we do not know exactly are there any other ways to pass the river we might not say the Paleans could not cross the River.

In addition, we need to know whether the Paleans could built a boat or not. Since archaeologists have not found any boat related to the Paleans, we cannot sure whether the Paleas actually have a boat. If, some boats are existed built by the Paleans but archaeogists have not found yet, or, the Paleans indeed invented the boat but they did not leave any boat to us to find, that we could not say the Paleans could not cross the River by a boat.

In the end, unless we specify the conditions mentioned above, we cannot guarantee that the so-called Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean.

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

原文链接在这：https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... age=1#pid1779615724
issue或argument题号：issue62

练习日期：6月28日

相关习作句子或段落：
In some circumstances, leaders are created by the demands that are placed on them just like what the issue puts, like the leaders in governments and schools. However, there are others causes that equally defines what is a leader; take corporations as an example and so on.

老师点评
仅仅看你的主旨句就出现了自相矛盾的情况
要避免这种情况你需要具体指出在什么情况下leaders are created by the demands that are placed on them

相关习作句子或段落：
What's more, for the preservation and continuation of our system of knowledge, schools are created.

老师点评
leader去哪儿了   主题句都偏题了  这段不就废了么


自己的思考和总结：（这里主要讨论为什么会出现这个问题）

这篇issue我感觉不是很好写，没有达到王老师的建议，在正文的第一段就分类清楚，主要还是在写第一段的时候还没有对文章整体构架的把控，具体就是不知道写那三个点，所以第一段就写的比较模糊。

关于第二条点评，是我在写第二个点的时候，主题句偏了主题，其实当时在写这段的时候我就已经发现这段有点跑题了，于是在这段的后面部分加了leaders， 最后还是忘了修改这个点的主题句。其实就像王老师说的，我这段应该就是考虑的不太清楚。

虽然还有几天战场，还要在多总结问题，争取少犯错误，谢谢老师！

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

7月5日考试AW和argument反思：

在这里非常感谢考前一周王老师对我的辛勤指导，后面我会继续努力，争取把作文考到4分以上；

Issue 121: some people claim that you can tell whether a nation is great by looking at the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists. Others argue that the surest indicator of a great nation is, in fact, the general welfare of all its people.

Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.

思路：这题在考前王老师点评过，要抓住关键词，比如the surest indicator。虽然当时在考试的时候看到这个题的描述和自己练习的题目不是太一致，不过意思差不多。
主要思路是：首段提出the surest indicator of a great nation, 应该根据不同的时期来确定，分别为和平时期、战争时期和特殊时期；
二、三、四段分别阐述这三个时期the surest indicator 应该是什么。
第二段写和平时期应该是the general welfare(这里并未关注welfare和well-being的区别），举例中国近今年经济发展的例子，提高了人民的生活、健康水平，相应的国力也增强了；
三段写战时时，the surest indicator 应为科技、文化等，举例二次世界大战，一个国家只有科技文化强大才能保护好他的人民，否则谈不上welfare；
四段写特殊时期，还是第一句写分论点，举例经济危机或者地震时，以美国1929年经济危机和罗斯福新政为例，说明在国家的特殊时期，the great indicator of a great nation 应关注其人民的welfare；
最后一段总结，总结the surest indicator 不是一成不变的，应根据不同的历史时期而定。


Argument 65
When Stanley Park first opened, it was the largest, most heavily used public park in town. It is still the largest park, but it is no longer heavily used. Video cameras mounted in the park's parking lots last month revealed the park's drop in popularity: the recordings showed an average of only 50 cars per day. In contrast, tiny Carlton Park in the heart of the business district is visited by more than 150 people on a typical weekday. An obvious difference is that Carlton Park, unlike Stanley Park, provides ample seating. Thus, if Stanley Park is ever to be as popular with our citizens as Carlton Park, the twon will obviously need to provide more benches, thereby converting some of the unused open areas into spaces suitable for socializing.

Write a response in which you examine the sated and /or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

思路：
首先，这道题我并没有练过，考场上花了大约两分钟的时间看文章，看题目（还是感觉考前至少把题目看一遍为好，减少陌生感）；不过幸好思路差不多；考场上总结的unstated assumptions 如下：
首段点出三个assumptions:大约写了2行；
1，assumption是video的数据有说服力；实际上，video cameras 只监控一个月，记录时间太短了，数据不具有说服力；而且，人民逛公园也不一定都开车，因此那些没开车的人并没有记录下来；
2，assumption是benches的数量是决定因素；实际上，the Stanley Park 的less popularity 完全可能不是benches少造成的，而是另有他因，比如没有游乐设施；
3，assumption是the Stanley Park 与 the Carlton Park 的情况一致；实际上，两个公园的地理位置，大小，功能等都不一定相同，这样用Carlton的例子去应用到the Stanley Park 不一定能行的通；
最后一段总结，没有彻底的搞清楚以上问题不建议随便加benches，建议搞调查研究确定the Stanley Park less popularity the causes.

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

54）In order to become well-rounded individuals, all college students should be required to take courses in which they read poetry, novels, mythology, and other types of imaginative literature.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

1. 先思考这道题，自己列一个提纲，包括主旨句、主题句、汉语展开等。

主旨句：In any a society, the difinition of well-rounded individuals can be varied from time to time; some people say that in order to be be a well-rounded individuals, students should take various of courses including poetry,novels and so on, while others claim that the well-rounded individuals should be one that s/he can specialize in particular fields rather than waste time on other subjects which are unrelated to his or her profession. However, as far as I am concerned, the well-rounded individuals should be tailored to students according to their majors, interests as well as ablities.

TS1: Different majors apply to distinctive objectives and the definition of well-rounded individious could be varied too. 以医学专业的全能（内外科等为例）对比文学专业，临床医学本来课程任务就重，他们专业的目的导向更为明确，即为治病救人；相比之下，文学专业则可以多多涉猎，因为文学本身就是包罗万象；

TS2： In order to be be a well-rounded student, one should consider his or her interests rather than choose many subjects unselectively. 全才并不意味着全部不加选择的都要学，而是学习自己专业之外感兴趣的；具体爱因斯坦，他既是一个学者，物理学家，和平主义者，也喜欢拉小提琴；

TS3：However, it is maybe true that to be a well-rounded student, one should take varieous of course, one should also consider his or her ablities to do this. 并不是每个人都适合学习那么多课程，对于学有余力且有兴趣的同学，可以多多鼓励；对于学习比较吃力的同学就不要建议学那么多课程了；举例当今的职业教育和高校教育；

CS：To be or not to be a well-rounded student, we should depend on many reality circumstances.

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

毉易-牧羊人 发表于 2015-7-7 23:23
54）In order to become well-rounded individuals, all college students should be required to take cou ...

你审题有很大的问题
take courses in which they read poetry, novels, mythology, and other types of imaginative literature.
这道题的重点在这里
你的主旨句完全没有imaginative literature

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

tesolchina 发表于 2015-7-7 23:44
你审题有很大的问题
take courses in which they read poetry, novels, mythology, and other types o ...

4. 结合范文修改一下自己的提纲。
修改如下：
主旨句：In any a society, the impact of imaginative literature on well-rounded individuals can be varied from time to time; some people say that in order to be be a well-rounded individuals, students should take various of courses including poetry,novels and so on, to practice their imaginative abilities; while others claim that the well-rounded individuals should be one that s/he can specialize in particular fields rather than waste time on useless fictive assays which are unrelated to his or her profession. However, as far as I am concerned, the significance of the abilities of imaginative on well-rounded individuals should be varied from students to students concerning their majors, interests as well as ablities.

TS1  Different majors apply to distinctive objectives and the definition of well-rounded individious could be varied too, which means that an imaginative brain might not be an essential part of that discipline. 以医学专业为例，医学有着更强的目的导向性，即治病救人；因此医生不可能在给病人治病的时候发挥“想象力”；并且临床医学本来课程任务就重，也没有时间参加fictive 的课程；

TS2： In order to scientifically apply one's imagination to build a well-rounded student, one should consider his or her interests rather than choose many fictions unselectively and there are alternative methods to cultivate this ability. 为了培养想象力，也要结合兴趣；并不意味着都要学fiction，学习自己专业之外感兴趣的也能培养可以达到这种效果；举例爱因斯坦，他既是一个学者，物理学家，和平主义者，也喜欢拉小提琴，通过这种音乐也可以激发想象力；

TS3： It is maybe true that the imagination is crucial to a person to be a well-rounded one, to take varieous of course, however, not everyone has time and ablity to do so and thus the courses might not be a best choice. 并不是每个人都有那么多时间学习那么多课程来培养imagination，对于学有余力且有兴趣的同学，可以多多鼓励；对于学习比较吃力的同学就不要建议，可以建议他们通过其它途径来培养他们这种能力；

CS：In conclusion, to soundly evaluate the effect of the imaginative abilities on a well-rounded student, we should depend on many reality circumstances.