毉易-牧羊人练习帖

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

tesolchina 发表于 2015-7-7 23:44
你审题有很大的问题
take courses in which they read poetry, novels, mythology, and other types o ...

3. 书面讨论一下自己读我的示范的心得体会，同时也欢迎拍砖。 这里可以分内容和语言表达两方面来讨论。
读范文后的感想：
老师是完全支持imaginative literature 对于become well-rounded individuals的重要性的；第一段是总论，第二段具体阐释，第三段讲可能会质疑的地方，第四、五段对这些质疑进行了反驳。总体上，具体的论证段是先提出分论点，后提出支撑的例子。不过老师并没有在第一段就点出可能被质疑的地方，而是在第三段单独列出了。还有的思考是，虽然老师提出了肯能被质疑的地方，不过随即又否定了该质疑，这样是critical thinking了，可是是否全文的观点都是支持而显得不那么critical了呢？

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

Issue 15
Educational institutions should actively encourage their students to choose fields of study that will prepare them for lucrative careers.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

请保留我的点评

你多少长时间写完的这篇？

I strongly disagree with the extent in the question that educational instiitutions should actively encourage their students to choose fields of study that guarantee their lucrative careers for the following several reasons; the issue in the question assume that we can precisely predict what majors will be lucrative in the future, however, it is almost impossible; what's more, the extent in the question ignores the significance of interests in studying a major. Maybe someone would say that the main purpose of studying a field should make sure s/he could make money from it, however, it is the whole thing.
disagree with the extent 搭配问题  
；用法
the issue in the question assume搭配
the future, however, it is almost impossible断句
the extent in the question ignores搭配
purpose of studying a field should make搭配
it, however, it is the whole thing. 断句
it is the whole thing.  什么意思

几乎每句都有错   


First of all, we cannot precisely predict what fields in the future will give us a promising future owing to the rapid development of society and technologies, and thus any educational institutions that encourage their students to choose fields that prepare them for lucrative careers is almost impossible. Take compute industry for example, ten years ago, my friend John, who choose the major of computer science because of the burgeoning of this new field and a seemingly promising future; however, ten years later, he comes to realize that the graduates of this filed are so vast that he even cannot find a decent job in our city, which illustrates that choosing a lucrative filed in the beginning is not realistic.

, and thus any educational断句
Take compute industry for example, ten years ago, my friend John, 断句
the graduates of this filed are so vast搭配
why ten years?


What's more, as the old saying, interests are best teachers. Any education institutions which ignore this will not be favored by students. Take my friend Alex for example, 断句four years ago, she accepted his parents' persuasion to study the major of economy, which she did not really appreciate; as a result, she did bad in the university, in her words, she even could not understand what the teachers in the classes were taking about. In the end, she gave up this major and pursuing his favorite filed-biology, and she did very well in this new subject and she had published several papers in this field, which are the high accomplishments of a student.

accepted his parents' persuasion搭配
appreciate选词
did bad搭配


你的语言表达问题非常严重   
建议你缩短篇幅 多模仿范文的句子 不要自己瞎编句子  



However, someone would argue that the purpose of studying a filed is making money; actually, as far as I am concerned, it is not the whole thing. It is true that maybe some people just want to make profits by pursuing a seemingly lucrative major, nonetheless, the majority of people who choose a field to study is not the lucrative aims at all. Think about Einstein, who is a Novel Winner in physics, and it is axiomatic that the field of physics is his favorite and he could spare no efforts to pursue it. Without interests in this field, we might not know the Relative Theory and the Equation of Mass and Energy. However, if his main purpose in to make money, he could work for a company and earn more money than to be only a scientist; in addition, we could name many similar persons who do not just want to make a profit in studying a field, like Stephen Hawking, Newton and Marie Curie and so forth, without them, the development of science will be retarded for many years.
中间段的主题句不是很明确 以致不知道你整段想说什么 it is not the whole thing？

应该来说这篇文章的结构还是不错的 有按照1+3模型来写 也有回应题目的要求 但是语言表达的问题太严重  

我建议你严格按照我的范文思路来模仿写作  


In conclusion, education institution should not persuade their students to pursue a field of study that will prepare them a promising future, rather, those institutions should actively foster their students' interests and encourage them to pursue their dream instead.

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

毉易-牧羊人 发表于 2015-7-11 11:41
Issue 15
Educational institutions should actively encourage their students to choose fields of stud ...

已评

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

tesolchina 发表于 2015-7-11 16:41
已评

回答、纠正及反思：
1，40分钟写完这篇，前三段用了30分钟，第一段用了7,8分钟；
第一段：
2，disagree with the extent 表达错误，应为 I strongly disagree with the viewpoint of the question that...
3，the issue in the question assumes 改为 the assumption of the question is that...
4，the extent in the question ignores 改为 the standpoint of the question ignores...或 the question ignores that...
5，purpose of studying a field should make 改为 the incentive of studying a field is to make money from it...
6，it is the whole thing 改为 that is not what the studying a field is all about.
7，the future, however, it is almost impossible 断句为 the future. However, it is almost impossible;
8，it, however, it is the whole thing 断句并改为：it. However, it is not what the studying a field is all about;
第二段：
9，, and thus any education 断句为 . And thus any education...
10，Take computer industry for example, ten years ago, my friend John 断句为 Take computer industry for example;(or .)ten years ago, my friend John...
11，the graduates of this fields are so vast; 改为 the supply of the graduates of this fields  has exceeded its demand;
12，why ten years? 答：临时随便想的，觉得时间跨度够；
第三段：
13，断句问题：Take my friend Alex for example, four years ago...断句为 Take my friend Alex for example; four years ago...
14，accepted her parents' persuasion 改为 she yielded to his his parents' persuasion...
15，appreciate 选词；which she did not really appreciate 改为：which was not what she really likes.
16，did bad 搭配；改为 she failed many courses in the university;
第四段：
17，中间段的主题句应明确为：Some would challenge the above viewpoints and claim that the main incentive of studying a field is to make profits from it; and thus educational insitutions should actively encourage their students to do so;

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

tesolchina 发表于 2015-7-11 16:41
已评

反思：
谢谢王老师这么细致的解答！受益匪浅。针对王老师的疑问，解答如上。这篇作文写得过于仓促，有时候想着什么写什么，就忽略了语法和搭配问题，结果造成了语义不通顺。反思在写句子前还是先构思一下，不要随便写，切忌太过汉语化。

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

32) The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of Quiot Manufacturing.
During the past year, Quiot Manufacturing had 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than at the nearby Panoply Industries plant, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts say that significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents are fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers. Therefore, to reduce the number of on-the-job accidents at Quiot and thereby increase productivity, we should shorten each of our three work shifts by one hour so that employees will get adequate amounts of sleep.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

请勿用红色抄题

用时：29分
赞

In the passage above, the vice president recommended that the Quiot Manufacturing should shorten their work shifts by one hour so that their employees would get adequate amounts of sleep. The following are several assumptions that the vice president depended on; firstly, the one hour less work shifts is the only factor that contributes to more on-the-job accidents; secondly, the conditions of those two factories are the same; last but not least, the workers would surely use the extra one hour to have a rest.

firstly前面应该用冒号
写得不错
整段


First of all, the vice president assumed that the less work shifts is the determining factor that results in the accidents. However, this assumption could not be true. It's axiomatic that other factors would also contribute to the on-the-work accidents, for example, the poor work facilities in the factory of Quiot; the workers in the Quiot Manufacturing had not received any training courses about the work; and the system of management in the Quiot Manufacturing is also poor. In conclusion, all those factors could have a same effect as the less work shifts does, and thus the assumption of the vice president is poor based.


this assumption could not be true 这样说是不对的 我们不知道假设对不对  
题目要求： Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.  

axiomatic选词
it's这句话的断句有问题
注意hedging  就是要用could/may/might 来指出有这种可能 而不是肯定是这样   

What's more, the vice president assume that the conditions of those two factories are the same and the experience of the Panoply could apply to the Quiot. Nonetheless, the assumption could not hold true too. Maybe the layouts of those two factories are different from each other; in addition, maybe the population of those two factories are varied from each other too; the location and the surroundings of those two factories might be also different. All those factors could also have an impact on the on-the-work accidents; therefore, the vice president's assumption is also unwarranted.

问题同上 不能否定assumption
你这里提了集中可能性 但是都没有展开讨论和解释 很难看出这些情况对意外有什么影响


Last but not least, the vice president assumes that the workers would use that extra one hour to have a rest. However, it is self-evident that the workers are varied from one to another, and thus some of them might use that one hour to hang out with friends; some of them would use that hour to surf the Internet in a net bar; even some of the workers would use that extra hour to play games and go to a disco; and thus the extra hour would not have its original effect. Therefore, this assumption of the vice president is unwarranted too.


are varied from one to another   语法 vary in what  （lifestyle)

总的来说写得不错 语言表达方面有明显的进步 但是你说assumption不对 这是不符合题目要求的
下次写argument要注意严格按照题目要求来写  



Taken together, the vice president should not too hasty to draw a conclusion that the less work shifts is the main cause that results in the more accidents; instead, the manager should make a thorough research to investigate the authentic reasons that lead to the more accidents in the factory of Quiot.

dingchenchenUID: 3602968

毉易-牧羊人 发表于 2015-7-14 17:44
32) The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of Quiot Manufacturing.
During the past  ...

楼上童鞋你好~~~~~

我来点评一下你的文章哈~~

王老师的中间段的构思是这样的：
1. 提出假设 （A是B的主要原因）

2. 指出可能有其他原因

3. 具体举例指出其他原因

4. 指出如果其他原因成立的后果 （theimplications are for the argument）

如果中间段是三段的话，那么就从题目中提取了三个假设，每个假设是一段，并且分别讨论题目中的假设的其他可能的情况，以此来说明题目的观点不充分。

下面我来点评一下你的文章哈：

你首段中firstly, the one hour less work shifts is the only factor that contributes to more on-the-job accidents;

我觉得这个可以。但是这个only是不是太绝对了呢？比如，某个因素是导致某个原因的决定性因素，并不是唯一的因素。你觉得呢？我觉得去掉only好些吧。

中间段的主旨句：

1)First of all, the vice president assumed that the less work shifts is the determining factor that results in the accidents.

这句我认为应该把less去掉，直接是work shifts影响accidents，或者是less work shifts决定 less accidents.

2)What's more, the vice president assume that the conditions of those two factories are the same and the experience of the Panoply could apply to the Quiot.

这句话感觉不太清晰，因为我不知道应该从argument中的哪句话能推出你这个结论。

我认为要直观地说出argument的题干中哪句话可以得出这个结论，然后再举具体的例子（即其他可能的情况）来反驳这个假设。

3）Last but not least, the vice president assumes that the workers would use that extra one hour to have a rest.

这个还可以吧。

下面是Kssandra 的思路，我觉得很好，就粘下来了：

1 因为题干中比较的是两个工厂事故的绝对数目，所以这可能是一个apple to orange comparison，两个工厂可能从事不同的产业（有一个题目中这个可能性被排出），工厂规模不同，设备新旧程度不同等等，不可以直接比较

2 事故多的原因可能不在于劳累和缺觉，而是比如说预防措施不足，缺乏培训监管等等

3 减少轮班时间不一定能解决劳累缺觉的问题，1)可能是轮班制度不合理（部分人常年夜班）；2)可能员工不拿这个时间去睡觉；3)可能多睡一个小时还是不能消除疲劳，等等

Kssandra的argument32的习作链接：https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mod=redirect&goto=findpost&ptid=1834110&pid=1779513621&fromuid=3602968

我的点评可能有些地方会有问题，见谅哈~

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

dingchenchen 发表于 2015-7-14 21:53
楼上童鞋你好~~~~~

我来点评一下你的文章哈~~

首先谢谢dingchenchen童鞋的精彩点评！

具体回复如下：
你首段中firstly, the one hour less work shifts is the only factor that contributes to more on-the-job accidents;
我觉得这个可以。但是这个only是不是太绝对了呢？比如，某个因素是导致某个原因的决定性因素，并不是唯一的因素。你觉得呢？我觉得去掉only好些吧。

谢谢您的建议！是的，这个我没注意，去掉only是好一些或者换成decisive或的determinate。一开始我是想表达作者把work shifts假设成决定accidents的唯一因素了；

中间段的主旨句：
1)First of all, the vice president assumed that the less work shifts is the determining factor that results in the accidents.
这句我认为应该把less去掉，直接是work shifts影响accidents，或者是less work shifts决定 less accidents.

谢谢您的建议，非常好！去掉less表达的意思也很清晰；不过，less work shifts 我的理解是 低频的换班，这样工作的时间不就长了吗，按照常识，应该是 more accidents 而不是less accidents，它们是反义关系，因此，less work shifts 不是对应less accidents，您觉得呢？


2)What's more, the vice president assume that the conditions of those two factories are the same and the experience of the Panoply could apply to the Quiot.
这句话感觉不太清晰，因为我不知道应该从argument中的哪句话能推出你这个结论。
我认为要直观地说出argument的题干中哪句话可以得出这个结论，然后再举具体的例子（即其他可能的情况）来反驳这个假设。

谢谢您的建议！此段话我是想表示作者把这两个厂假设成条件一样，B工厂的经验可以应用到A工厂。这句话的表述确实不清晰，应改为the vice president assume that the conditions of those two factories are the same and the practice of the Panoply could apply to the Quiot.

弱弱的问一句，您是助教不？是不是每次发作文前每人都要改一下上一篇的作文呀？

dingchenchenUID: 3602968

毉易-牧羊人 发表于 2015-7-14 23:02
首先谢谢dingchenchen童鞋的精彩点评！

具体回复如下：

这是互评：自己在发链接的时候，要评自己上一楼的作文。

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

dingchenchen 发表于 2015-7-15 09:19
这是互评：自己在发链接的时候，要评自己上一楼的作文。

OK!

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

毉易-牧羊人 发表于 2015-7-14 17:44
32) The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of Quiot Manufacturing.
During the past  ...

修改及反思如下：
1, firstly前面应该用冒号  修改： firstly: the one hour less work shifts is the only factor that contributes to more on-the-job accidents; secondly: the conditions of those two factories are the same; last but not least: the workers would surely use the extra one hour to have a rest.

2, this assumption could not be true 这样说是不对的 我们不知道假设对不对 修改：However, this assumption might  be unwarranted.

3, axiomatic选词  it's这句话的断句有问题 修改如下： It's possible that other factors would also contribute to the on-the-work accidents. for example, the poor work facilities in the factory of Quiot; the workers in the Quiot Manufacturing had not received any training courses about the work; and the system of management in the Quiot Manufacturing is also poor.

4, 问题同上 不能否定assumption 修改如下：Nonetheless, the assumption might not hold true too.

5，你这里提了集中可能性 但是都没有展开讨论和解释 很难看出这些情况对意外有什么影响  修改： Nonetheless, the assumption might not hold true too. Maybe the population of those two factories are varied from each other; say that the factory of Panoply has as many as three times of employees than the factory of Quiot, and thus the ratio of the accidents in those two Manufacturing could be quiet different; even the factory of Panoply has more accidents than the Quiot. In addition, maybe the layouts of those two factories are different from each other too; the location and the surroundings of those two factories might be also different. All those factors could also have an impact on the on-the-work accidents; therefore, the vice president's assumption is also unwarranted.

6，are varied from one to another   语法 vary in what  （lifestyle)  修改：However, it is very likely that the lifestyle of the workers are varied, and thus some of them might use that one hour to hang out with friends; some of them would use that hour to surf the Internet in a net bar; even some of the workers would use that extra hour to play games and go to a disco; and thus the extra hour would not have its original effect.

反思：谢谢王老师的指导，我自己的确没想那么细，没看清题目，也犯了去否定原文assumption的错误；另外依然有一些语法和词语搭配的错误，这些我也在慢慢改进。感谢写的时候大脑一时反应不出来那么多词语，这个还需要多多加强写作词汇的练习。

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

13) Universities should require every student to take a variety of courses outside the student's field of study.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

With the fast developing of the world, it is necessary to be open-minded than ever. As a result, I strongly agree with the statement that universities should require every student to take a variety of courses even outside their majors. The benefits of the recommendations are axiomatic, which can enhance students' abilities and prepare them for the future world. However, others question the practice of taking a variety of courses outside the student's field of study, say it is a waste of time.

背景句不够切题啊  it is necessary for college students ... (fast development of )
axiomatic 选词  
, say it is a waste of time. 句子结构


In the first place, taking a plethora of courses outside students' field can enhance their abilities and skills. For instance, a student who is specialized in the Computer Science could benefit from the Drawing classes. Take Jobs for example,断句 he is famous for the chairman of the Corporation of Apple Company, in his early time, he took several courses in Drawing,断句 even he that did not realize the significance of those classes to the success of the Apple Company. Without those extra courses, we would not have so many fascinating computers and IPhones and our world would be dulled for even a long time.  

enhance their abilities and skills to do what 需要补充信息  
is famous for the chairman句子结构 表达 如果你真的要用这个例子 请认真准备一下干货 弄清楚这个故事的来龙去脉   
our world would be dulled for even a long time 你在说什么？

由于你的语言表达问题太严重 建议你不要再写全文了 每次练习只写开头段和一个中间段  
有时间多抄写范文的句子 和 订正


What's more, taking a variety of courses outside the students' field could prepare them a promising future. For example, it is self-evident that the knowledge of our fields could not provide enough experience for our careers, which means that we should learn many other knowledge within our college times. Take a student who major in biology for example, even though s/he is good at doing experiments and familiar with the basic ideas of this field, s/he still need to learn much more knowledge outside his or her range, like psychology, the skills of hunting jobs and the strategies when facing with interviews and so on.

However, some people question the notion that taking a variety of courses outside the student's field of study could do more harm than good, it can waste students' times if they do not have enough time to learn extra courses or do not fall in love with those extra classes. It's true that students should spare more time if they take many courses outside their majors, and it would be boring if some of the students find that they do not like some of the extra courses. As a matter of fact, even though the extra courses could take up some of the times of students, the benefits of those courses could outweigh those flaws; what's more, students who take extra courses need not do well in those courses as they do in their majors and students could also only choose the fields that attract them.

In conclusion, universities should require every student to take a variety of courses outside the student's field of study for the self-evident benefits they could acquire, even though there are some flaws of taking extra courses, however, wisely tackled, those flaws could be converted to innocuous ones.

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

issue 13 修改：

tesolchina 发表于 2015-7-11 16:41
已评

With the fast developing of the world, it is necessary to be open-minded than ever. As a result, I strongly agree with the statement that universities should require every student to take a variety of courses even outside their majors. The benefits of the recommendations are axiomatic, which can enhance students' abilities and prepare them for the future world. However, others question the practice of taking a variety of courses outside the student's field of study, say it is a waste of time.

背景句不够切题啊  it is necessary for college students ... (fast development of )
axiomatic 选词  
, say it is a waste of time. 句子结构

修改如下: I strongly agree with the statement that universities should require every student to take various of courses even outside their major fields owing to the more and more informative and versatile world we are in. The benefits of studying knowledge of other fields other than students’ own could indeed enhance their abilities and better prepare them for the competitive world. However, others who challenge the practice of taking courses beyond students’ fields for the reason that they think it is a waste of time.

In the first place, taking a plethora of courses outside students' field can enhance their abilities and skills. For instance, a student who is specialized in the Computer Science could benefit from the Drawing classes. Take Jobs for example,断句 he is famous for the chairman of the Corporation of Apple Company, in his early time, he took several courses in Drawing,断句 even he that did not realize the significance of those classes to the success of the Apple Company. Without those extra courses, we would not have so many fascinating computers and IPhones and our world would be dulled for even a long time.  

enhance their abilities and skills to do what 需要补充信息  
is famous for the chairman句子结构 表达 如果你真的要用这个例子 请认真准备一下干货 弄清楚这个故事的来龙去脉   
our world would be dulled for even a long time 你在说什么？

由于你的语言表达问题太严重 建议你不要再写全文了 每次练习只写开头段和一个中间段  
有时间多抄写范文的句子 和 订正

修改如下：In the first place, taking a plethora of courses outside students’ fields could enhance and broaden their abilities and skills. For instance, a student who is specialize in the computer science could benefit more from the drawing classes. Think about our innovative hero, Steve Jobs, in his speaking in the Stanford farewell ceremony, he said that he owns much to the single calligraphy course, even though he did not major in it. Here is what Jobs said: "If I had never dropped in on that single calligraphy course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. Therefore, taking extra courses would equip us with multi-faced abilities and skills to pave the road for our prosperous future.

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

85) In a study of the reading habits of Waymarsh citizens conducted by the University of Waymarsh, most respondents said that they preferred literary classics as reading material. However, a second study conducted by the same researchers found that the type of book most frequently checked out of each of the public libraries in Waymarsh was the mystery novel. Therefore, it can be concluded that the respondents in the first study had misrepresented their reading habits.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

According to the argument, the citizens of Waymarsh misrepresented their reading habits in their first study concerning with their reading material. However, this conclusion might not be sound enough and needs more specific evidences to evaluate its authentic. For example, the soundness of the first survey, the characteristic of the genre of the literary and the library as well as the reading habits of the residents of Waymarsh.

In the first place, we need more evidence with regard to the rightness of the first survey. Since the argument tells us that the results of the two surveys are different, we need to evaluate whether the two surveys in the argument are the same. If these two surveys are varied, then the results could not be representative, since the first survey might has only several questions and literary classic is one of them while the second survey has so many questions which do not include the literary classic at all. In addition, the respondents of the first survey might be university students only and the interviewers/informants of the second survey might also include common residents, and since the university students rather than the residents might prefer reading literary classics to other genres of books, and thus it is self-evident that the results of those surveys are inconsistent from each other.

What's more, we need more substations about the characteristic of the genre of the literary classics and the provisions of the library. It is probably that the literary classics are so tough to read that the residents have to read for a long time, in the meantime, the public libraries have the policy to let residents delay the checkout of those borrowed literary classics, and thus it is unsurprising that the borrowing frequency of those books is lower when comparing to the mystery novel. Therefore, the surveys in the argument might not be accurate.

Last but not least, we need more information about the reading habits of those residents of Waymarsh. Since many literary classics could be accessible on the Internet, as a result, the residents could read those classics directly on the Internet rather than borrow them from the public libraries. What's more, those residents prefer reading on the Internet or on their IPad to reading on the books owing to economical prices of the electronic ones. There forth, it is no wandering that the frequency of checking out of those literary classics is lower when comparing with the mystery ones.

In conclusion, without clarifying those evidence above, we might could not too harshly to come to the conclusion that the first study in the survey is inconsistent with the second one.

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

7月17日反馈：
内容反馈汇总之一：回应题目关键词和遵循写作指引
issue 54：老师评价：https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... 230&fromuid=3458186
自己反馈：https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... 069&fromuid=3458186

argument 32：老师评价：https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... 440&fromuid=3458186
自己反馈：https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... 454&fromuid=3458186

语言反馈汇总之一：断句/选词与搭配
issue 15: 老师评价：https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... 315&fromuid=3458186
自己反馈：https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... 359&fromuid=3458186

argument 32：老师评价：https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... 440&fromuid=3458186
自己反馈：https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... 454&fromuid=3458186

issue 13 ：断句和选词问题（这个issue 15 还可以划到不明觉弱，背景句及第二段写的都不尽如人意）：老师评价：https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... 506&fromuid=3458186
自己反馈：https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... 137&fromuid=3458186

总结：以后反馈的内容都尽量重新写一遍而不是一句一句的改；还需要加强语言和单词的熟悉；打字速度要提升；