issue同主题写作-第二类 8月10-11日

huan19880122UID: 2657720

选题Issue 99/11
People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.


11) Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
99) Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

采用方法：分类讨论，分为影响行为的内因与外因，最后一段做让步，通过自省与了解行为，而更多的控制行为

TS：We human beings are tend to regard ourselves as free individuals who can control our own behaviors, while unfortunately our behaviors are much more determined by kinds of forces than by our own minds. Such forces could be divided into internal and external aspects, which we are born with and born in respectively.

ts1: Things we are born with are the biological nature of human beings, which largely controls our behavior as much as any other kind of living creatures.
Example
1: things determined to do but failed: to control weight; to learn a new skill; to do regular physical exercise; to quite smoking;
2, Ironically even the willpower that determines how well a person controls his own behavior is heavily determined by genes.

ts2: Another biological human nature is we are social animals, with the instinct for fitting in, which enables the environments to change our behaviors to a large extend.
Example:
as we grow, if in a religious family, more likely to be religious

subts: Tendency to live up to the expectations of family,    acquaintances and the world.
Example: to be a good daughter, parent, employee, or citizen.

ts3: some people may say that we have all seen cases that people overcome the natural limits and achieve amazing results, like the great mens in history and the wonderful people around us, who stay in perfect shape, who fulfill their dreams, and who stay true to their identity, and that must be because they all have the control of their behaviors. Luckily, it is true. In my opinion, when we learn to introspect on our own behaviors and understand more of it, we could gain more control over it.
Example: behavior studies guide better education and achieve better results

困惑：内容太多，感觉写不完，最后一段提纲写着写着变成了全文，提取的主题不明确，用时比较长，对题目的分析和分解比较需要加强，感觉写的偏概念化，是不是不够具体，希望听听大家意见，期待王老师和大家指正。


评15楼

1）提纲的框架是否合理？

对于首段，复述了王老师范文的内容，个人认为不大合适，可以采用相同的思路和分析，但要用自己的语气来分析转述。对于同义句转换，需要转换应该是题目的statement：People shouldundertake risky action only after they have carefully considered itsconsequences. 而不是范文。另外作者观点不明显，一般首段引入other’sopinion之后，还是需要列出自己的理由，接受或不接受，再重述自己的观点，会更清晰一些

框架用的是王老师的框架，我就不班门弄斧了嘿嘿嘿，首段详细内容如下：

Facing risks, some peopleclaim that people should act only thinking it's results circumspectly. Becausecareful thinking leads to a better consequence and even avoid suffering greatlosses ,（重述王老师观点） in their opinion, especially when the risk is easy to manage or they canestimate the consequences accurately.（此处用in their opinion 引出王老师对观点的分类不大合适，首先范文内容并不是一个已知条件，此种分类方法也并不是通用的方法，上来就直接采用了这种分类方法去讨论，有些突兀，如想采用相同的分类，可以直接以自己观点的形式先写出来，比如，intheir opinion 改成Indeed，when riskis blablabla） But others disagree this and argue that not every statements allow usto think carefully, especially emergency situation in which we have not enoughtime to ponder risks.（相同的问题，范文并非已知的argument） Thinkingcarefully before action in risks is an encouraging idea, but only under noturgent situation.（此句应为首段的主题句，首先不大明显，不仔细读会以为是other’opinion的一部分）

2）提纲所用的例子是否合适？

例子合适但讲的不够清楚，

ts1，为什么risk that can be controlled easily要thinkingcarefully before action，没说清楚，例子对主题的证明不清楚，为什么can control一些情况，而雨下的小就要马上停止等等

Ts2 同样 reasoning 的思路不大清晰，要证明的是有时间和能力应该去评估风险，例子仅说了评估需要时间，那为什么要评估风险，是不是应该强调下不评估的后果，当然只是提纲，所以没有写全

Ts3例子合适，可以多列几种，相似情况，可以更丰富

3）开头段语言方面有哪些问题？
Facing risks, some people claim that people should act only after thinking it's results circumspectly. Because careful thinking leads to a better consequence（consequence一般用于强调后果，因果，建议改成result，详见段后） and even avoid suffering great losses ,in their opinion, especially when the risk is easy to manage or estimate theycan estimate the consequences accurately.（并列句子前后主语主题又变化，有些乱，删除） But others disagree this and argue that not every statements （situation）allows us to think carefully, especially emergencys situation（删除） in which we do not have not (删除) enough time to ponder risks. Thinking carefully before actions in risks is an encouraging idea, but only under not urgent situations.

句子用词有些别扭

柯林斯释义，个人认为不适用于better consequence

• consequence /ˈkɒnsɪkwəns/
  

  |CET4 TEM4

  • 1.
    

    [url=]N-COUNT [/url]The consequences of something are the results or effects of it. 结果; 后果

    •  Her lawyer said she understood the consequences of her actions and was prepared to go to jail.
    她的律师说她明白自己行为的后果并准备去坐牢。

    
    
    
  • 2.
    

    [url=]PHRASE [/url]If one thing happens and then another thing happens in consequence or as a consequence, the second thing happens as a result of the first. 结果

    •  His death was totally unexpected and, in consequence, no plans had been made for his replacement.
    他的死纯粹出乎意料，因此还没有为他的替代人定出计划。

    •  Maternity services were to be reduced as a consequence of falling birth rates.
    孕产服务因下降的出生率而将被削减。

    
    
    
    
  
  
  
  

SylviaMengyayaUID: 3693199

No. 61 People should undertake risky action only after they have carefully considered its consequences.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

第一种framework，就几个不同的社会角色进行讨论。

Intro paragraph:
Should we consider carefully about what consequences it will bring before we undertake risky action? The answer of this question depends on what kind of roles we play in our society.  It is true for the executors in a company because the risky action they undertake is concern with the operation of the whole company. For leaders of a country, they have to make careful consideration before a risky action as it is concerned with country security. However, the statement may not be true for  firemen because their hesitation will result in more casualties.

ts1 Consider executors in a company, almost every decision they make is relative to the company’s operation and development.(increasing competition, cooperation with the competitors? transition? Example---Kodak broke down )

ts2 For the chairman or minister of a country, the policy or decision they make concerns country security and they have to make careful consideration before the action. (Example---Mr.Deng，“one country, two system”policy)

ts3 Firemen may be one of the most dangerous occupations. They always confront with many emergency situations. If they consider whether they will get hurt or even dead before they rush into the danger, they should not choose this job at the beginning.

感想与困惑：
第一次写提纲，感觉自己的思维比较混乱，本来想就“risky action”这个抽象名词进行classification，但是表达不出来。后来看到了老师的分类，感觉豁然开朗，但老师的分类方式与表达超出了自己的能力，所以没有参考老师的。
对于framework的分类我也比较困惑，感觉第一种和第三种比较相似。我这算是第一种framework吧？但是又像第三种，不过分类过于详细，特别是firemen。

点评楼层 9
1）提纲的框架是否合理？
合理。
2）提纲所用的例子是否合适？
ts1 中的Learning some course应该不算是risky action吧，多学几门课程的话自己还是受益方，即使占用了一些时间，但也不算多，如果换成辅修第二个专业应该更好吧。
ts3 中Scientists一例作者想表达的是breakthrough需要一些危险的科研工作吗？
3）开头段语言方面有哪些问题？
感觉没什么问题，不知道risky actions/action是否要统一一下，还望老师解答。

对于卿本同学的困惑，我认为题目的要求中就有让我们考虑不同情况，从正反两面论述更符合题目要求吧。

A.E.extrovertUID: 3808015

61.People should undertake risky action only after they have carefully considered its consequences.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

Method: different perspectives

I agree with the recommendation when the consequences can be quantify people should carefully them before taking risky action. However, sometimes the consequences are so obscure that considering exhaustively before taking action is impossible. moreover, our risky decision has to be made under some crucial rush hours  leaving  no time for us to consider the consequences.

TS1:  we should make fully pretest or measurement to predict the consequences of our action to maximize the potential profits and minimize the possible damages.
(e.g. such as some super engineering projects, we have to make our best effort to test the plan to find out and correct any tiny flaw which may bring catastrophe to human being   )

TS2: but in the most of time, the consequences of our behaviors can not be take into account as various factors playing indispensable role in the action, and the decision we make without carefully thinking also can bring good outcomes.
(e.g. Bill Gates dropped out off school，which is certainly a risky decision, to starting his own business. And all he had do is following his heart to chasing his dream. and the decision had once bring him to the place of the richest man of the world. )


TS3: besides, there is also some vital time we have to make immediate decision without a second hesitate.（e.g. when we found someone in dangerous we would immediately give our hands and may have on time to think any outcome of our risky but meaningful behaviors ）

感受： 想尽可能的用准确且书面的语言表达意思，但是心有余而力不足，并且表达缺乏丰富性。

点评13 楼

我觉得从分类讨论的角度去围绕attitude展开是一个很不错的思路符合了instruction 里面讨论各情况下论点是否成立的要求，但是总的来说作者似乎对 文中的 society as a whole 的理解有一些偏差。

我个人挺喜欢作者开头的方式，有一个问题来引出自己的总论点，避免了平铺直叙的方式。

对于society 的影响，我认为是包括social media 的， facebook上的社会舆论也是社会影响的一种，所以作为society的对立观点可能不太妥当。

同时对于穆斯林的例子，我认为大家确实是在各种发生的事情情况下对他们的态度有所改变，在过激的评价之后不太能回到原先的态度，所以TS2 例子的展开有点太臆断。我能理解作者TS1 and  TS2 是想对开头段的呼应。但是是否可以考虑换个例子？

改了名字你们就认不出我了UID: 3670039

Issue 61
People should undertake risky action only after they have carefully considered its consequences.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstance in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第2种，考虑到题目的复杂性，指出现有陈述的片面性，给出自己更全面的观点。

开头：
Human have the tendency to take the consequence into consideration before handling with risky action. The provenance of such inclination can be attributed to human nature since it always urges people to have more comprehensive thinking towards their next decision no matter how miniscule it is.

主题句1：
However, does the consideration of its consequences can ensure that we will eliminate or, using a less arbitrary word, mitigate the risk we are facing? The answer is ambiguous. Due to the finiteness of human rationality and imperfection of accessible information, one can hardly speculate the outcome accurately, thus making the decision making less reliable than supposed. Indeed, with the action’s risk level uplifting, its consequence would be more difficult to anticipate.
Eg: All the revolutions can prove it. French revolution achieved its aim by thoroughly executing its mission. If these insurrectionists were trapped by weighing the consequence, their mission would possibly turn into a failure.
The consequence is always unpredictable, what we should do is focusing on the present.

主题句2：
Looking back to the prominent events among the long river of history, it’s noticeable that such events always come with a combination of contingency and … Such rule also applies to personal development.
Eg1: Science experimental process can be a representative example. Edison invented the bulb after countless experiments.  It's the spirit of enthusiasm towards the risk that contributed to his final success.
Eg2: Taking my personal experience as an example. If I keep reminding myself that how convoluted GRE is, I would be frightened away at early stage during the preparation. It is the prospect into future rather than indulging in the possible failure that pushes me forward.
Compared with trying to figure out the unpredictable consequence, tackling with the risky action with alacrity is more beneficial to our fulfillment.

主题句3：
Although the risk is unavoidable, the advancement of human society, together with our personal development, requires us to keep moving forward without too much hesitation. However, before making decision, we can try our best to take deep investigation to possible risk. By doing so, we can lower it to a scope that is easier to control.

关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想或困惑：
想不到什么特别合适的例子，而且写例子的时候找不到合适的词。。。

点评11楼

1)整体的框架可以，分类方式也可以。
2)每一段的开头还是要有总领性的话的，现在的开头感觉更像是例子，最好能用一些比较点题的话语。
3)开头段里面出现了很多but，所以读起来会很混乱，抓不到你的观点到底是什么。建议在本段的结尾用简练的句子提出自己的观点。

深井冰233UID: 3756251

我的选题 61

People should undertake risky action only after they have carefully considered its consequences.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

是否同意及不同情况下是否正确
我选择第2种框架搭建方法：by considering an issue from different perspectives or in different contexts

一些情况下正确一些情况下不正确
正确的情况：投资、极限运动
不正确的情况：紧急情况（自然灾害）

TS
I agree that in general cases where risks can be predicted and avoided, cases such as making investment and playing extreme sports, people should consider consequences of their risky action beforehand. Whereas in emergent situations, natural disasters for example, consideration of consequences is meaningless because the risks are usually hard to assess or reduce.

pt1
People should examine consequences before making investment because financial risks can be calculated quantitatively and managed well.
eg: trading stocks
trading stocks brings high profits and risks at the same time, without in-depth market research or financial calculation, dead broke

pt2
Another example is extreme sports of which consequences are predictable. It is important to prepare safety equipment, evaluate body conditions and examine potential environmental risks so as to protect ourselves from physical injuries.
eg: bungee
不知道如何描述例子了……

pt3
Under emergent circumstances, however, there are few seconds to consider the consequences and decide what to do. More often than not, first instinct saves life.
eg: earthquake
earthquake comes without warning, time is life, prompt action like finding a surface to hide under is key to survival.

感想/困惑：第一次写，求指教
TS在分情况分析agree/disagree之外，要表明自己的总体态度completely agree/偏向其中一方/neutral吗？
主题句要一句话写完吗？
举例感觉好吃力，不知道举几个&怎么控制描述的长度/深度
结尾言简意赅地概括就好了嘛？
一开始选了141，发现理解不了命题，更别说如何下手……
不懂老师3楼说的实然/应然是啥……
【感谢21楼bio-L同学的点评！关于bungee的例子正好是我的困惑所在，我担心个例（蹦极没系好安全带掉到有鳄鱼的河里）没有说服力……】


点评楼层：19楼
感觉写得有点意识流，不明觉厉……具体如下

语法
开头：humans, consequences, handle是及物的&和action搭配有点奇怪
主题句1：its指代啥，risks，整体读起来有点奇怪不通顺但是不知道哪里不对……
    例子：execute thoroughly搭配也很奇怪
主题句2：such events指代啥
    例子1：development of experimental science can be...,
主题句3：the risk指代啥
（感觉多次出现指代不明的情况，建议自己翻译成中文检查一下；词汇搭配建议查一下词典中的collocation）

内容逻辑性
开头只说了考虑后果是人类的天性，没有提自己的观点/3个论点？

主题句1这么多词都在说考虑后果不一定能规避风险，觉得有点长；举法国大革命的例子试图证明法国大革命的成功靠的是不经过事先考虑的直接行动？如果insurrectionists权衡了后果，法国大革命很可能会失败？除了这个逻辑本身有点奇怪之外，excecute mission没有不经过考虑的意思，无法形成对比。

主题句2：contigency？？？
主题句2说历史发展的规律也适用于个人发展，我以为要谈论一般情况下的个人发展过程如何体现“做有风险的事情前应不应该考虑后果”，但是例子1依然说历史人物爱迪生？爱迪生经过无数次实验发明电灯，这说明他坚持不懈，和题目有什么关系？另外enthusiasm towards the risk的意思是对风险充满热情？
例子2：GRE is convoluted是后果？
例子2的翻译：“让自己坚持准备GRE的原因是对未来充满希望而不是对可能的失败充满恐惧”，看起来符合题目，但是本身坚持准备GRE似乎不是一个risky action。

主题句3的翻译：人类社会的进步和个人发展要求我们不要犹豫、勇敢前行，但是在做决策前，我们可以尽全力调查可能的风险。不要犹豫是啥意思……

bio-LUID: 3788600

我选的61

People should undertake risky action only after they have carefully considered its consequences.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第2种  分different contexts，具体来说，我把要做出决定的action分为了 投资 ，战争，科研
开头段全文：
In fact, as humans priding on their rational beings, most of people would like to consider
carefully before taking a risky action. In many domains, a consideration is necessary to guarantee a low probability of losing such as investment. But there are also some conditions, for example, some conditions of war and research, that a careful consideration is useless or even impossible.

主题句1
In many conditions a careful consideration is indispensable and particularly when investing.
具体例子或细节
greater fool theory  
in stock market, you'd better to analyze if there are any greater fool. Otherwise, the cost you hold may let you want to die.
主题句2
However, in waring, a careful consideration may appear to unforgivable.
具体例子或细节
in a war, one troop have two choices: go out from a house directly to fight for a living or retreat secretly leaving someone in this house. both the choices all have their own risks, but you should make a decision immediately. in this situation, you can not make a careful consideration at all, if you try to do that, the result may be that all of the troop members die, which is catching than both of the two choices.
主题句3
When researching, many times you can anticipate the results, but there are also some times the answers of researching are unpredictable. E.g., It is impossible to predict a research that need to find a result. It is also risky because you won’t know the result, and it could be a fiasco as you input your time and money but get nothing. In this condition, you can not consider the consequence, but you can carefully analyze the process to make sure it is reasonable.
具体例子或细节
Some prototypes of contemporary medicines should take part in untold tests and be modified again and again.Maybe nobody knows why it could cure the patients, but the fact is, it could.
关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想或困惑
我刚开始研究issue，始终在argument的思路里转不过来，不知道argument和issue到底有多大区别
一开始准备用第三种方法classify risk的，我把它分为 金钱 时间 (甚至生命)，但发现这就是个坑啊，根本没法写的！
王老师的example我看了，但是不太理解第一个展开，第一个如果是well known 的话，应该不需要carefully consider 啊？还是说careful偏向于“注意”的含义？
如何表达对我来说也非常困难，憋了好久啊……
还有我根本就憋不出例子啊，语文作文都难写例子，英文作文该怎么办啊，求指教！
（占个楼先，慢慢找例子+对照要求修改）

深井冰233同学的思路很清晰，三个平行的论点也切题。论据可以紧扣论点展开。开头段方面，我觉得最后一点的“hard to...”
可以变动一下。因为地震来的时候跑是必然的事情，分析的时候一般不会涉及程度的关系。虽然这么写也可以，但总感觉不太切合。不过考试的时候可能也考虑不到这么多了……
蹦极的例子可以说蹦极的时候需要make sure  腰带系好了，然后反过来说没系好的话会发生什么。如果没有实际案例的话可以编一个有人掉进鳄鱼出没的河里了。gre aw 允许虚构故事。
一般来说主题句是要一句话写完的。
结尾确实可以言简意赅地概括， 比如og练习第一篇的6分作文既是如此。不过这个不会影响评分的。

wanghaitao199391UID: 3704441

辅助思路
61
People should undertake risky action only after they have carefully considered its consequences.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

第一步；请利用同意转换(paraphrase)的方式介绍要讨论的问题作为文章的开头
As the statement argues that only after considering its consequences carefully should we undertake a risky action.
第二步；用一句话概括三个论点为主旨句
Depending on the different kind of risks, we have to take different  approaches to decide whether we should consider consequences carefully or not.
第三步：将三个主题句用自己的话复述
1.There are three possible situations. If the the risk is easy to manage, we can consider its consequences thoroughly before taking it.
2.When the risk can be assessed quantitatively,carefully consideration can also be possible.
3.While sometimes, we do have to undertake risks without considering its consequences, since the situation is so emergency that we are driven by instinct.
第四步：每个主题句下加一行例子和例子能支撑论点的理由
1.In our daily life, for example, before moving to a new place to start a new life, it is common that we weigh the pros and cons, think about the consequences carefully because there is enough time to do so.  
2.When we learn something, developing a learning plan is necessary because our scores are assessed quantitatively. Unless we want to undertake the risk of a poor performance, or we will consider the consequences of do not study well and avoid them.
3. In a traffic accident, we have no time to consider the consequences of risk jumping out of the car since the emergency is too pressing to think and the action we take is out of our instinct.
第五步；写一小段做这个练习的感想和思考
这样写一些好像明白了一点套路呢，虽然还是比较吃力，但是比之前没思路瞎写感觉好多了。我会继续好好练习的！谢谢王老师！

点评楼上Bio-L同学的
Bio-L开头先对人类的理性给了肯定，我们倾向于冒险前考虑清楚后果。然后提出有些情况下也会不加考虑。这个开头给我的感觉就是你会着重讨论不考虑后果的一方面来展开。作为一个文科生，我有点看不懂主题句第二句，为什么考虑清楚会显得不可原谅呢？主题句第三句说有些情况下不是不想考虑是根本没办法提前预测后果，但还是要仔细做下去，升华了（笑）主旨，我觉得这句特别有说服力。
个人意见~仅供参考哦

keaixiaotangUID: 3248795

ISSUE 61
People should undertake risky action only after they have carefully considered its consequences

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

我的提纲架构使用方法2，make a discussion in different contexts. Such as individual person, corporation and government which are all composed of people.

TS: I totally agree with the saying that people should undertake risky action only after they have carefully considered its consequences. In my opinion, it can apply to the corporations and governments also.

TP1 If a person can carefully consider its consequences before undertaking risky action, we can say he/she is mature, considerable and trustable.
Example: when a man who loves extreme athletics such as climbing the mountains of Himalayas. He needs to consider several factors which might influence his safety such as the weather, equipment, and partners instead of just go climbing whenever he wants.What happens if he doesn’t consider the factors such as weather, equipment and partners.

TP2 Corporations need to have carefully considerations when they make an decision, not to mention they undertake risky action. When they corporate one company which is going to break out, they need to consider the consequences which might happen. Because if they don’t run well with the company, they might be hold back in the profits by that company. They might lose the employees’ trust which will bring down the corporations’ morale which is important. Sometimes it may lead to break out for the whole corporation.

TP3 Governments also need to have carefully considerations when they undertake risky action. Example: take Germany letting the refugees from the Middle East in for example. The government just wants to help them have a safer, better living conditions, but it did not have enough considerations about the consequences which might bring to their countrymen.

困惑：这是不是老师所说的应然问题，这种问题有什么答题套路吗？不知道我讨论的几种不同情况是否足以支持论题。总有种写着写着就不知道自己想表达什么的赶脚。。。

8楼

1）提纲的框架是否合理？
先让步，再用递进的方式表达观点。段落间用的转折词很好。只是第三点说即使考虑了也会有不可预测的结果这一论点，不代表不需要考虑周全。觉得此论点不够有力
2）提纲所用的例子是否合适？
合适
3）_开头段语言方面有哪些问题？  
开头段和其他各段有个别的语法错误（水平有限，8楼小伙伴海涵哦）

许萧艾UID: 3767984

ISSUE 61

People should undertake risky action only after they have carefully considered its consequences.


Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

我采用的提纲是：3 through classification of key term(s) in the issue statement
具体如下：解释了什么是risky action---wasted time and energy.


开头段：
TO cut off the cost we will pay, there is no denying that thinking carefully before we go is the best way to avoid the risk before us.However,it is also definitely a risk work we should do due to the time and chances we will pay for this.Besides,consideration can’t ensure us to avoid the risk we will encounter and even it can make things worse.
主题句1
Thinking carefully is a good way for us to make the best use of our time and energy whenever we will make a decision which is the most fitting for us.
Example1:we students will chose our lives before we graduate,such as seeking careers,studying further abroad.
Example2:most commercial services are based on the the process of thinking before starting ,such as business consultative machinery and study abroad agency.
主题句2：
However,we have almost ignored the cost we will pay for thinking carefully such as time.
Example1:For GRE preparation,we students often have a difficult choice to make,such as which vocabulary books we should chose
Example2:which work we should chose since so many companies seems too ordinary for us to work for them.
主题句3：
Overthinking things is very danger since as we all know so many people prefer to avoiding challenges and difficulities before us.
Example1:we think thinking carefully is a wonderful way for us to delay challenges we have to tackle with.procrastination
Example2:after we have thought carefully,the situation might become more worse since we can’t predict precisely.such as planning to invest for the estate,most of us always wait for the best chances to take action,but the economy is becoming worse than ever before.
结尾
As the plane can fly with the Minimum Equipment List,we also can take action before we have prepared everything perfect,and the most important things for us is to fit for the situation no matter if we have think carefully or not.

战G进行时UID: 3727585

Issue No. 61
People should undertake risky action only after they have carefully considered its consequences.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

Framework
我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第3种  将人按照职业进行划分，不同的人针对这一问题的不同选择，具体来说，......

我的提纲如下

开头段全文：
It depends on the social position of the people whether they should carefully trade off possible consequences before they take dangerous action. It is necessary for managers to carefully evaluable the consequences before they take risky action. However, it is acceptable if a scientist or an adventurer performs boldly without careful consideration.  

主题句1 As an agent, managers of a company have to be wary of their risky decision.
具体例子或细节
-        CEO, employed by the board of directors, must serve for the benefit of the company
-        Fund managers must conform to the risk preference of the investors

主题句2 Doctors should also carefully examine the possible aftermath of their risky action.
具体例子或细节
- whether to persuade a patient with serious disease to have an operation
-        Whether to introduce a new medicine, for instance the vaccination against HPV

主题句3 As for scientists or adventurers, adventurous spirit is a must to make breakthrough.  
具体例子或细节
- the finding of the New World
-        Novel bombed his laboratory when experimenting explosives.

关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想或困惑
划分层次时怎么分类比较合适呢？比如这里把people分成了管理者、医生、科学家、探险者，但是并不全面没有涵盖所有的人，这样会使得论证不太充分吗？



我写的全文 （建议在修改提纲后再写）



我来点评其他网友
楼层： 18楼

1）____网友提纲的框架是否合理？
合理

2）____网友提纲所用的例子是否合适？
例子比较合适，每部分一个例子会不会有点少？

3）____网友开头段语言方面有哪些问题？
第一句语法错误太多，句子不通。包括后文都没有注意首字母大写。小的语法错误比较多，考场上可能比较影响得分。

telepathyivanUID: 3790595

完整题目
Issue 99/11
People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.

11) Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

99) Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.


我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第1种  introduce new concept，具体来说, 是把determinating factors定为motive，emotions和situations
我的提纲如下

开头段全文：In regard to the magic code to understanding people’s behaviors, the statement assigns more significance to external forces than people’s own making. Generally speaking, there are three main facortors deternining what people do: motives,  emtions that people have in the process, and situations at that time. And I tend to argue that people’s motives serve as the dominant element of people’s behaviors, although emotions and situations have certain influence.


主题句1
Admitedly, external facors like situations are prone to effect people’s emotions, and behaviors at next step.
具体例子或细节
situations-emtions-attitudes
Situations-realties not fit presumptions-planned cannot be followed

主题句2
However, external things cannot determine what people will do exactly and what people actually follow is their subjective initiatives.
具体例子或细节
Making decisions: have definite motives and manage emotions

主题句3
When it comes to the environmental effect on people, we always hear the claim around us that people need to keep tide with situations. However, people with strong motives will not give in to the harsh reality and will adhere to their objectives by persuading others and changing the situations actively.
具体例子或细节
Rose Park who refused to give seat to a white man

关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想或困惑
感觉这后两段的主观和环境分类里面没分干净，有交叠 不平衡


我写的全文 （建议在修改提纲后再写）



我来点评其他网友
楼层： 25

1）____网友提纲的框架是否合理？
合理 我也有同样关于分类讨论人的疑惑 ，但是我觉得只要覆盖了正反两个方面论述充分总是没问题的。

2）____网友提纲所用的例子是否合适？
合适 科学家大胆  公司领导观大局  医生谨慎

3）____网友开头段语言方面有哪些问题？
Evaluable 应该是evaluate v.可能笔误了
最后一句的 it is acceptable 后面的if换成that是不是会好些呢

grace93UID: 3829168

选题：Issue 61 
People should undertake risky action only after they have carefully considered its consequences.

我的方法是先厘清定义，再逻辑递进，应该算是第三种方法吧……
People should think twice before undertaking risky action, because keeping ourselves away from danger is the nature of people. What considered to be the risky action is those we have never experienced before. However, each significant achievement and breakthrough people made in the history is based on exploring the unknown fields without exception, including science, sports, and even a certain kind of food can be ate or not.
TS1:
Things new to us may not necessarily cause danger or harm to people.
Eg1 First one to eat crab provide an essential food choice for people.
Eg2 Internet startups made a more convenient life.
Eg3 The establishment of the United States based on a new kind of govern organization, federation.
TS2:
The ability of considering the consequences of a certain event is bounded in our current cognition and experience, which is no doubt regarded to be full of limitation.
Eg1 Until now, many phenomena on the universe can’t be explained in scientific ways.
Eg2 We can’t tell the mystery of the universe.
TS3:
Without challenging the things new man can’t explore the world and accumulate experience. In other words, the process of human being would stagnate and there won’t be any improvement in cognition. Anyway, established-theory must be proved and revised, which will definitely serve new risky actions.
Eg1 Christopher Columbus Transatlantic voyages help to find a new land and Ferdinand Magellan’s voyages proved that the earth is round that challenged the Catholicism science.
Eg2 Space exploration.

感觉自己有点写成argument了……请小伙伴们批评指正

我来点评其他网友
楼层： 26

1）____网友提纲的框架是否合理？
合理 主客观因素都有。

2）____网友提纲所用的例子是否合适？
实话说有点看不出楼上具体想写哪些，只列出了方法论，其实我也还想借鉴一下嘿嘿。

3）____网友开头段语言方面有哪些问题？
emotion 和  situation后面都有定从修饰，motive后面最好也跟上，尽量保持结构的一致。
最后提出观点挺好的，开头最好文字再多些吧不然500~600凑不起来啊

本人不才，一点小建议请笑纳~~

Claudia19191UID: 3774466

『辅助思路』
61. People should undertake risky action only after they have carefully considered its consequences.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

第二种方法
the statement is true when the risk is well known and fairly easy to manage 
- the statement is also true when the risk can be assessed quantitatively 
- the statement may not be true under emergency situation when people take risky action out of instinct  

提纲如下
TS: It is suggested that people, regardless of what kinds of circumstances appear, should consider the result of a risky behavior meticulously until assume it exclusively. A sense of security, in some people’s viewpoint, functions as the foundation of a quality life. Hence, they are disposed to look before they leap repeatedly. Contrary to these people’s view is my perspective that people are supposed to adjust strategies to various sorts of risks. The “instruction” of thinking twice before action is unnecessary to follow every time. While the statement is valid when it comes to a well known and manageable risk or a quantitative problem, it may not hold true concerning the situation that people take risky action out of instinct.

Ts1: People should consider more before they act if the risk is well known and controllable.
Example1: Prospective overseas students should be equipped with cooking skill before go abroad.
Reasoning: Students are overwhelmed and overloaded by the expensive tuition fee overseas. The ability to cook can save money and avoid the risk of being starved without money.

Ts2: The data involved in risk processed by mathematical models can serve as a reliable and reasonable instructor for people to cope with obstacles confidently.
Example2: App developers should analyze user data and see it as a marketing tool to increase profit.
Reasoning: The users’ operation behaviors and feedback will be transformed to a plethora of data, which provides developers with the access to the key information to improve user experience and reduce the possibility of bankruptcy.

Ts3: The statement may not be valid concerning the situation that people utilize potentials motivated by emergencies to address problems.
Example3: Thelma and Lovise, one of my favorite movies, illustrates the distinction between living and existing. The two women finally abandoned their lives and kept going to pursue the true freedom, that is death, without hesitation.
Reasoning: Risk means different things to different people. For Thelma and Lovise, the real risk is settling down and leading a routine life instead of death. Under such a circumstance, if they hesitated at the last moment and considered something other than their own desire, they will regret forever.

感想及困惑：这是我第一篇issue提纲，觉得例子给的比较容易跑题。
完成的很艰难，效率低，效果不理想。

点评楼层：27

1）____网友提纲的框架是否合理？
合理，不过缺少Reasoning部分。

2）____网友提纲所用的例子是否合适？
想借鉴一下他的诸多例子

3）____网友开头段语言方面有哪些问题？
我觉得很好啊~
现在自己很小白，不太敢乱说话~
在攒足经验之前我还是多看少说

Fitness-GuUID: 3794873

Some people believe that scientific discoveries have given us a much better understanding of the world around us. Others believe that science has revealed to us that the world is infinitely more complex than we ever realized.
方法2：by considering an issue from different perspectives or in different contexts
分类人群：普通人&科学家（学者）

开头段：
I believe various scientific knowledge can provide the public with information which can free us from mistakes even riskiness.on the other hand,inquiring to scientific theories and some unknown field is regarded as the major task of scientists,one that describe the complexity of this world.

TS1:Scientific knowledge indeed can provide explanations and solutions to dense problems which have confused and intimated people for many decades.
(1)people once believed our earth is the center of the whole universe rather than Sun
(2)the introduction of evolution theory shed the light on anthropogenesis which uses to remain unknown for many years.

TS2:medical development in recent decades similarly free people from serious diseases,improving our longevity.
(1)the medicine including aspirin successfully mitigate health problems like fever.
(2)vaccination enables people to combat with smallpox,a previously fatal disease once killing a large number of people.   

TS3:on the other hand,science advances our knowledge toward a complex,arcane world.
(1)probe secrets of the universe;discover whether there are any other types of lives.

感受：举例的时候需要很确切，各个学科都要有所了解


点评15楼：
1）提纲的框架是否合理？
合理，论据和对比都有

2）例子是否合理？
例子基本合理，地震的例子

3）开头段语言方面有哪些问题？
中式英文太明显，语法错误也很多，单复数的问题，还出现了副词修饰名词的

长长的冬瓜糖UID: 3817701

完整题目
People should undertake risky action only after they have carefully considered its consequences.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第2种  分不同情况考虑，把people分为explorers，领导者和 普通大众 我的提纲如下

开头段全文：It is no secret that risky actions are those that might bring people, companies and even society some problems or even damage, the consequence of which deserves some attention from people. Certainly, considering too much consequences of risk actions might encumber some people, such as scientists, from exploiting the science world and our universe. However, for most times and for most people, such as group leaders or common individuals, it is necessary to think over before taking risks in order to reduce the possibility of failure.

主题句1
As for explorers of human beings, scientists, those who have to face numerous uncertainties in the process of their researches, considering too much would make them less confident in their projects.
具体例子或细节
①爱迪生： make 3 thousands experiments to find proper material for filament; if he considerate thoroughly each time before dangerous test; never invent bulb in his limited life
② 哥伦布：if spend too much time consider danger of exploring the sea; miss the opportunity to make a real breakthrough

主题句2
However, other people who are responsible for a group's benefits should have careful consideration before carrying on their decisions, which can help them reduce the risk that the group have to undertake.
具体例子或细节
company manager: invest a stock

主题句3
Except for group leaders, common individuals should also take the consequence of risks into consideration, which would force them to make full preparations for both the success and failure.
具体例子或细节
① graduated students who choose to build a career； consider serious consequences, would make fully preparations; otherwise, when "bankrupt", would be emotionally-bankrupt.


关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想或困惑 
GRE的这类should题是不是就是托福的should 题，分论点我们应该写这样做会有啥好坏，所以should/ shouldn't？  而GRE有的问“是不是”的题是不是和托福的现象题很像，我们应该找具体为什么是或不是的原因？

我写的全文 （建议在修改提纲后再写） 



我来点评其他网友
楼层：28

1）____网友提纲的框架是否合理？
第一段感觉写的太啰嗦了吧，特别是表达自己的立场的地方，可以直接上according to my view, while，.... 前两句加起来差点没看出来作者想要表达的观点是什么

还有感觉每个中间段TS只是一个例子，没有点出题目啊，看起来有点费力，感觉中间段开头句还是要稍微略一点吧，比如在作者最开始思路分析那样

2）____网友提纲所用的例子是否合适？ 
①第一个例子怎么感觉怪怪的，出国了不会做饭确实是一个风险，因为这个风险可控，所以我们就应该undertake this risk ? 和题目描述的不一样啊， 作者的例子感觉表达的观点的是因为考虑到出国不会做饭是一个风险，所以我们应该自己先学，这不是在讲要避免这个风险吗，不是要undertake啊！！！  

②第二个例子感觉也不是说在风险可以评估的时候 我们应该仔细考虑后果后再做这件有风险的事啊？   
App developers should analyze user data and see it as a marketing tool to increase profit.这不是undertake risks啊？没有怎么看懂~~~:dizzy:



第三个例子还是没有看懂:L

3）____网友开头段语言方面有哪些问题？
语言挺好的~

个人意见，仅供参考未必正确