issue同主题写作-第二类 8月10-11日

cc271793784UID: 3779694

Issue 61 
People should undertake risky action only after they have carefully considered its consequences.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

采用第二种架构，切people,分为关系到众人福利的职业---政治家，经济学家；市场变化较大的职业--企业家，投资人；成就与风险伴随的职业---探险家，科学家等。

开头段：actions, abundant with risk and uncertainty, prevent people from making them reality or missing optimal opportunities, which always trap and confuse normal people. It's no exaggeration to state that the public cannot determine the better choice due to complex and complicated situation in modern society. In deed, Whether it deserve carefully consideration to take risky options depends on which circumstance individuals are under, such as different occupation.

TS1: Committed to improve the welfare and influence the world with their words, people should endeavor to take each factor into consideration and then take risky action.
Eg. Janet Yellen in Fed, whose words exert significant impact on the world economy. Should consider the consequence seriously.

TS2: As the saying in stock market goes, "The more risk you take, the higher probability of becoming millionaire." Working as enterpriser and banker or other investors, individuals achieve success when making balance between safety and risk. They should consider some information, which will not decide their final choice on the other hand.
Eg. Jack Ma, abandoning the job safe and stable at that time, devote himself in a new field with hazard and promising future.
Eg. George Soros of Quantum Fund，every investment of him includes considerably large profit and potential danger.

TS3：However, only with risky and dangerous action could break-through be made, when it comes to scientists and adventurer.
Eg. After thousands of trial and destroyed house, Nobel achieve a milestone in human history.

       


评论44楼：有一些语法错误 例如 due to+n.
总体思路只说了urgent  最好两方面辩证
记得举例子~

芸乔UID: 3596115

开头段全文：


Is it possible that our own will could control our behavior? The discussion of the driving forces of human behavior has been discussed for centuries. The debates bring up another question—do human beings have their own will exactly derived of the external forces? To what extent do we really make our “own” decisions? Although many people would argue that our own qualities should not be overlooked, from my perspective, I believe that people’s actions are determined by external forces, and even the so-called own making is dominated by outside factors without awareness.

TS1: Living in the society, the external forces play an important role for the need of multiply, and today’s human are mostly posterity of people who allow the external forces superior to the so-call own making, because they were more likely to survive in the group form.
EG: biology evidence

TS2: When it comes to everyday choice, the free will somehow seems naïve when realizing that we only choose from current available choices.
Eg. Commercial society:  all items

TS3: Even people who are eccentric and even seems fight against the whole society, they behavior could not be viewed as by their own but influenced by outside forces.
Eg. Steve Jobs, Hitler


关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想或困惑
不知道分类是否可行。


我写的全文 （建议在修改提纲后再写）



我来点评其他网友
楼层： 61

1）____网友提纲的框架是否合理？
应该合理，老师有篇文章也是用这个框架，不过好像不是这个题目。

2）____网友提纲所用的例子是否合适？
都挺合适的，很具体，很好。

3）____网友开头段语言方面有哪些问题？  
感觉层主语法很好，读下来没什么语法错误。主题句也好。

小人物JoeUID: 3807614

Issue 78
People’s attitudes are determined more by their immediate situation or surroundings than by society as a whole.


Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

我觉得这题很难，无话可说，想挑战一下，借助辅助思路。我采用的方式是第三种，将society as a whole分为两种:平静的和动荡的。平静的时代里这条规则对于大部分人是适用的，人是群居的，周围环境影响非常大，但对某些人意志坚强独立思考的人，可能不适用，这个statement对于动荡时期也不适用，因为动荡的社会格局带来的影响更大。


P1：Situation around us roughly includes family, peers and education. As an old saying goes, “Like father like son”. Family members raise us and we are born to be told their attitudes towards almost everything. We spent most time with peering in games and talks and it’s indisputable we are influenced by them. Education of all forms shapes our attitude towards literature, arts, science, society and ourselves. I mostly agree with the claim but there are some exceptions.
P2: The statement is true under the circumstance that the society is stable and its value is positive or at least neutral.平静的时代里周围环境造就一个人的价值观,比如从古至今很多职业是代代继承的，家庭条件类似的人居住在一起，价值观完全不同的家族往往禁止子女的接触，因此他们后代的价值观接近，这是周围环境造成的。
P3: People with strong and independent will not influenced by either their surroundings or their society. 上一段的结论只对大部分人适用，意志坚定的人不容易受到外界影响，比如伽利略在众人相信神学的时代坚持科学。他们的价值观是通过自身的思考和总结的出来的，不是随周围环境的结果，因此题目中的论点对这一类人不管用。
P4：The principle is not useful in a war period or a society under big changes. 战争年代人民的思想会跟随社会的潮流而改变，比如中国在抗日战争中受到马克思主义的影响。动荡的时代人们的思想容易受到时代的影响，人作为社会的组成部分必然受到社会的影响，这种影响在消极的情况下会被放大，大萧条时期美国迷惘的一代面对未来都采取消极的态度，正是社会的投映。
P5: I mostly agree with the claim.周围环境和社会是紧密相连的，社会影响者我们的环境，从而对我们产生看不见的影响，反过来也是。但论题在和平时期对于大部分人来说是适用的，这是长期以来历史告诉我们的答案，这其中的反例都只是个别现象，因此我同意作者的看法。

困惑：我觉得我的论题很空虚，有点绕，给人一种没话找话的感觉，而且最后一段的中文是不是有点矛盾的意味，写的时候很矛盾，本来想加强自己的观点的，但写出来感觉怪怪的。这个话题对我来说真的有点难，尴尬。还有觉得写的不好的地方就是话太空，术语多，重复句多，缺少一种数据一样的说服力，都只是主观判断我觉得哪个更重要，不知道碰到类似问题该怎么办，很多句子用中文写都很不顺英文更是难受，考场要是遇到该怎么办，求点评和指教！！！

点评11楼，因为话题和我一样。
我觉得结构是很好的，特别是中间段还采取小分论，还没看就觉得内容会比较丰富，但第一段我并没有读到明确的态度，作者说的话让人觉得有点云里雾里，我觉得这真的是这个题目的难点所在啊，一是没话，二是有话说不清楚，一个字：绕！。最后看完全文，我也不是很懂作者的立场是什么，支持还是不支持，作者只是把问题往下分类，分类讨论后并没有回到问题上来，反而让人觉得文不对题。

bigheiniuUID: 3814202

Issue 61. People should undertake risky action only after they have carefully considered its consequences.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.


采用的是第三种分类的方法, 将 risky action 进行分类. 分成三类:
        1. government politic
        2. life choice
        3. saving others
对于前两种, 我认为应该需要三思而行, 而对于第三种在紧急情况中应该尽可能及时快速的去帮助别人.


I fairly agree with this acclaim. Because the unpredictable result often comes after the risky action. However, some people points out when happening something under emergency, they should make a risky choice without much thinking. So for situations that are not emergency like the government policy or life choice, political leader or individuals should take take the consequence into consideration. On the contrary, for something emergency, people should make a balance with the consequence and speed.

1. the government should consider every possible results as comprehensive as possible to omit the bad influence from the risky policy.
e.g.
        Chinese government, the revolution in economy. draw the private economy.
支撑:
        a. why it is risky.
                Chinese bad economy situation. => poverty, starvation

                worldwide environment is not safe => China does not have good relationship with Russia
        b. take what into consideration and if not take, the bad result.
                a. by developing private economy, China fortress many individuals set up private company which boost the development of China economy.
                b. by keeping a good relationship with America, China draw many investment from America and West European.


2. When people make risky life choice, they should not ignore possible consequence.
e.g.
        student quit school for his own company.
支撑:
        Student should consider the bad results from the unfinished course, whether they can learn more in the company than in school. Although there are many successful example like Bill Gates, Zark Burg and others, students cannot prove that they can have great career like these example.


3. on the contrary, for something happen very emergency without much time to think in multiple perspective, people had better take risky action with limited consideration.
e.g.
        many firefighters or policemen sacrifice themselves in emergency situation.
支撑:
        they just keep the highest moral standard protecting the residents without considering the results for themselves or their family or people around them. [体现不了should]
        and the bad result comes from careful thinking => they will put others in great danger due to their hesitant choice.


In a nutshell, although in emergecy situation people tend to take risky action without careful thought, yet in goverment policy and life choice, careful and comprehensive consideration is a better choice. Actually, it is hard to keep a balance between the limited time and comprehensive thought, thus people should just exploit the time or opportunity they have to omit myopic or dull choice.
=====
分类不够准确 => 1. 一个是具体的工作. 2. 一个是工作本身的性质 => 后面应该改成"saving others or help someone who is under dangerous situation"
=====

点评43楼：
1）提纲的框架是否合理？
开头可以尝试使用1+3 模型;
When facing some risk, some people may say that we should not have a considerable thought before we enact because we can not really consider all the potential risks and enact a “Plan B” to every risk. However, in my opinion, I think carefully consider actions’ consequences is very essential. [Because if can not only help peole overcome many mistakes but also earn great profit.] 将两个主体段的观点进行整合, 但是第三个主体段的观点不是很明显, 似乎在强调取舍关系?


2）提纲所用的例子是否合适？
例子挺合适, 第一个观点的例子没有有效支撑论点

3）开头段语言方面有哪些问题？
精简一些语句, 然后使用1+3模型

好词:
        fully accessed <=>

游离雨UID: 3816551

tesolchina 发表于 2017-8-10 00:11
建议初学者不要选38和141，可以考虑从61入手。另外，建议模仿我的范文和提纲。由于我需要准备argument的视频 ...

题目原文 Issue 61
People should undertake risky action only after they have carefully considered its consequences.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

TS:
Risky action refers to behavior that would cause damage to persons or things with a relatively large probability. In consideration of human nature of being risk-averse, it seems reasonable that people should only take risky action unless they have thought about its consequences with much deliberation. However, such an absolute statement is not reliable in that people’s decisions are sometimes irrational which circumvent the rational thinking steps mentioned above.

Ts1: First of all, people might take risky action out of instinct as a reaction to emergency situation, which could turn out to a beneficial way to help people survive.
-

ts2:
In addition, when people are exploring new things which always suggest the dangerous, they might proceed with their work without considering the possible consequences due to their pure love for the work.
-

ts3:
What's more, when the time is urgent, people are not able to give a second thought to the determination.

我的困惑：想了半天，时间来不及写例子了。明早再好好补补。本来觉得是想反驳这个命题，将这个命题界定会一种理性的思考，从非理性的情况下提出各种反例。但是写了两个，一个是本能，一个是纯粹的喜爱外，就想不出第三个了。。。

WhiplashUID: 3759911

 
Unfortunately, in contemporary society, creating an appealing image has become more important than the reality or truth behind that image.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.


我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第2种: by considering an issue from different perspectives or in different contexts,具体来说，

T：在短期，appealing image更重要，但在长期来看，reality更重要。下切三个方面：1Personal life 2Company 3Government

我的提纲如下

开头段全文（TS）：

The appealing image, from my perspective, outweighs the reality or truth behind that image in the short run, but the reality or truth is of greater importance than appealing image. I will illustrate my point of view from three aspects.


主题句1(pt1)
具体例子或细节
First and foremost, the appealing image can help one to make more friends quickly, but if you want to own a long last friendship, you need to have some virtual merits.

主题句2(pt2)
具体例子或细节
Besides, the appealing image can help one to get an job offer easier, especially for some special vocations like host, singer. However, if you don’t have your own strength in the area, you cannot get a higher position.

主题句3(pt3)
具体例子或细节
Last but not least, primary leaders of the government represent the image of the government, so the appealing image is necessary, but if you don’t have your leadership and management experiences, you cannot be a good leader.

关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想或困惑

比较容易展开，但是很多表达写的很糟糕，感觉是自己积累的表达还不够。

我写的全文 （建议在修改提纲后再写）

SilverBUID: 3790946

Issue 99 题目：
People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第3种 对关键词进行细分类别，具体来说，我将forces分成社会环境、面对事情情况和他人的行为。

我的提纲如下

开头段全文（TS）：
Most people think that an independent person's behavior is subject to their own constraints. In fact, people make decisions that are largely influenced by non-self factors, such as social environment, specific events and the behavior of others.

主题句1:
A person's behavior is influenced by the social environment.
支持原因：
1.Because the social environment will affect a person's way of thinking.
2.The tolerance of behavior in different social settings is different.
例子：difference behavior at home and in office


主题句2:
People behave differently in different events.
例子：The behavior modes are different between chatting with friends and quarreling with them.

主题句3
People's behavior is influenced by the behavior of others.
例子：Experimental study: a group of people in the elevator, all people except the subject standing in one same direction, the subject will turn to the direction, even if he do not understand why others do this.

困惑：
本题的要求应该如何与建立框架的第三种方法结合，现在看来我的框架似乎并不符合题目要求。

alicechun95UID: 3729243

Issue 61
People should undertake risky action only after they have carefully considered its consequences.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

『辅助思路』开头段
When taking actions which could lead to risks, some people think that we should fully consider the possible results in order to avoid mistakes, losses or dangers. However, other people holds the view that it might not be easy to controll or quantize the consequences of some things, especially when encoutering emmergencies. Thinking consequences before making decisions is indeed reasonnable, but it may not be applicable to all situations.

ts1: People should really consider the possible risks and its corresponding consequences when we have rich knowledge and experience in such things, because we know the potential mistakes and can adopt measures to avoid them.
eg.  visitors climbing moutains: they can make travel decisions according to the weather forecast and the advices of local residents to avoid the occurrence of danger.

ts2: When people have can estimate the risks according to existing methods or tools, it's better to ponder consequences.
eg.  students apply for schools to further study in foreign countries, they should refer to advices and experience of their teachers and senior students to choose suitable schools and increase the acceptence probility.


ts3: In some urgent situations, we do not have enough time to think the results and have to take actions immediately.
eg. in earthquakes, soldiers and maybe ordinary people often save other people without consideration.

感想和思考: 第一次写作文，例子不好想出来的，找的例子格局太小；还有就是如何论述以使例子支撑观点，还没有掌握。

点评65楼：

开头段写的挺好的。

下面每段逻辑很棒，例子找的也很棒。但是感觉再分析例子的时候，第一段，是否没说清楚如何考虑的后果？我理解的你所表达的意思是：该事件是个风险事件，中国采取了一些合理的措施，规避了风险。但是，总觉得没说清楚是如何通过考虑可能的后果采取了相应措施，感觉重点不该放在采取了何种措施上。

我是头一次写提纲，感觉你的写作方式很值得学习，例子，支撑，以及论述的点，我觉得很好！

sweepyouUID: 3559530

11.People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the
statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and
explain how these considerations shape your position.
用的是第二个框架，首先承认对于大众来讲，由于受制于阶层和所在社群的文化，很有可能忙碌于日常生活而没有更多余地做自主选择；但由于人天生的本质区别和内在驱动力，人仍然可以克服环境的影响作出自主的选择。
TS:
When it comes to human behaviors, the author believes that we are generally affected by external forces such as socioeconomic status and culture of the community. However, as we take an overview of human history, we may find the internal factors, such as the true nature of a person, or intrinsic interests still play a dominant role over human behavior.

ts1:
Admittedly, when taking a look at our daily life, we may find people's behaviors are largely curbed by external factors such as family environment, socioeconomic status and native culture.
e.g.:
-White collars' lives are filled up with routine work. So they tend to give higher priority to pursuit of a decent life or better economic status.
-Born as "digital natives", we are overwhelmed by redundant information and inclined to go with the flow.

ts2:
However, people's intrinsic nature may overcome the external forces and hold dominant position over their behaviors.
e.g.
-Nightingale and Gandhi. Instead of pursuing for better economy, they were doing good deeds according to their altruistic nature.

ts3:
A strong inborn interest may also serve as a motivation, with which scientists or artists can surpass their adverse status or socioeconomic status.
-Stephen Hawking and Franz Schubert

评16楼：
TS中的"we are born with and born in respectively"的说法好赞！2个短语就把先天和后天两方面说清楚了，学习了！

ts1：很有意思的是，对于先天因素，我比较倾向于human nature是自带的天生属性（并不同于基因），但是这个很不容易说清楚，你的基因决定论却能比较好地支持你的论点。
ts2跟我的首段观点基本差不多。
ts3:great mens是什么？而且和后面的wonderful people有点重复，直接就great people就可以了吧，可以涵盖两个性别。
到第三段稍稍有点自相矛盾的感觉，似乎又把自己前面的观点驳斥了。而且前面环境决定论的例子和论证也比较出彩，不如直接一边倒更不容易出错。如果要写平衡观点，就需要把情况分类讨论清楚了，难度会更大。

xiaoruichanUID: 3829214

题目原文 Issue 61
People should undertake risky action only after they have carefully considered its consequences.
框架
论点：人们做决定的时候应该更果断，而不是一定要考虑很多后果之后再做。
原因一：考虑风险是因为看重利益，大多数情况风险和收益不能量化评估，与其花费时间在考虑太多风险上，不如尽全力追逐利益。
原因二：世界变化太快，今天的风险可能时候明天的机会，就更没有必要考虑太多。
不适用：可以精确量化风险和收益的还是需要好好量化。
总结略
全文：
eople who are responsible for themselves should undertake risky actions decisively rather than make decisions only after carefully evaluating its consequences.I will illustrate my position with the following points.
First,the reason that people are even considering taking risky actions is mostly for the benefit out of it, and in most cases the benefit can not be assessed in quantity, if people want to gain something from the risk, it would be a waste of time to even consider the risk. For example , me, someone who has graduated from graduate school for 4 years, is now preparing for GRE in the hope of a PHD degree in the future, which is at least another 4 years.I have to admit that it is a risky action, since I have already got a fine career and a great soulmate, of course there is a lot to lose in the process, It can be risky in certain level ,but it is the benefit I value more, which is fulfilling my dream:having a PHD degree . Of course it is risking my current life, but I do not want to give the risk too much consideration, what is important now is to work hard to gain the benefit.
Second, the whole word is changing so fast ,and some times our judgement can be wrong, then why not follow your heart instead of wasting time on carefully considering the so called consequences. There was a time in China, that it was the whole point to get a job in the government’s factory, those kinds of job were called a iron bowel,which mean having a job like that was the guarantee for a forever support of life. My grandmother told my father to give up an offer to university for a job like that, since the point of everything was to make a good living,which was already guaranteed by the iron bowel.  Several years later the factory can not support its employee any more, some of them had to be fired,and the rest of them had to suffer a low payment. Everything is changing even faster nowadays, it is really hard to see today’s loss in the future , then why not just follow your heart instead of wasting time doing thorough consideration ? At least you won’t regret not to do so .
Of course,this recommendation can not be used everywhere. If you are dealing some risk that can be evaluated in quantity ,please do consider the consequences thoroughly.These considerations are exactly what most financial engineers do in their work,and these thorough considerations are also reasons of their high salary.
As illustrated up there, in most cases we can not estimate the benefit and risk precisely, and the fact that we are even thinking about evaluation is a strong evidence ,which shows how much we care the benefit,and also suggest that we should spend our time trying our best to win instead of calculating how much we might lose, not to say that in this rapidly changing world ,what we lose today might also be another opportunity. For these cases when you can estimate the benefit and risk precisely in quantity,please do so thoroughly.

A.E.extrovertUID: 3808015

Issue 99


People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.


99) Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.



Just like all the ordinary people would think that we are making our own decision everyday and totally responsible for our own behaviors. However, as the statement presented that our behavior is largely determined by various factors，not our subjective willing. Although sometimes we would be self-motivated to take some actions, the motivity itself is influenced by the macroscopical culture background.

Almost all of our daily behaviors have to follow different kinds of rules.


-everyone must not to violate laws 
-employees have to follow company's regulations
-students have to obey school's requirements 

Besides the rules the society formulated, there are even also some rules  we are unconscious about.
-the moral restrictions prevent we make decision go beyond the ethical boundary 
-the social mass pressure force us to abandon our original thoughts 

Although for some cases we would make voluntary behavior, the behaviors themselves are affected by the culture or the society
- we may be self-motivated to help others in troubles, but this benevolence is gradually formed by the influence of our moral requirements and culture

感到困难的地方在于如何反驳反方的观点去进一步论述自己的理由。

石头xinUID: 3738695

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.
[辅助思路]

开头段：
"Think twice before you leap",as an epigram gose,recalls people to be rational and calm whenever they make a decision. Eluding the risk and guaranteeing to be out of potential hurmalfulness seems to be nature of humans because we evolve a seris of defense mechanisms to protect ourselves from being attcaked for surviving. When these mechanisms work out, the danger sign can be sinffed so that we run away before falling into predators's pitfalls. Risks today can be various which might not be linked with our lives but must be relative to our interests. If we ponder this automatical defense mechanisms, we will find it similar that we learn to consider and analyze the possible consequenses especially when risk is patent and quantified before taking any actions.      
主题句1：
Sometimes, we will refer to historical experienments to remind not to make the same mistake when the risk is nototious and cause horrible tragedies.
           Example: Company learned to decentralize.  
           Over-centralized organization helps grow vexnal.venality erodes organization.
主题句2：
It is an effective strategy to be adopted to that we analyze the possible results when risk can be assessed quantitatively.
           Example: Decision-makers build decision models.
                         Models help them simulate different situations so they can make an optimal decision.
主题句3：
However,in some urgent situations, when time is too limited to think thoroughtfully, people take risky action out of instinct.  

感想：
虽然是辅助思路，但对于这个想说的是趋利避害是人的天性，然后从risk的类型入手。还是觉得例子部分有点思路不广

powerfulbeanUID: 3829312

Issue 93

Unfortunately, in contemporary society, creating an appealing image has become more important than the reality or truth behind that image.


Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.


我的提纲采用了第三种方式构建框架，对关键词分类讨论。

提纲如下：

开头段
In modern society, with the pace of life becoming faster and faster, for those working in metropolitan city,  people do not have enough time to discover the reality or truth of everything. Although in short term, putting more attention on appealing image can help us save a lot of time, it does not mean that in long term,  producing a fascinating image is more important than the reality.

TS1: In our daily life, the most popular commodities are the ones which may not have outstanding images but always provide high qualities and low price.
A.        The mooncake for example.
a.        In short term, people give the Moon Cake ,which are well packaged, to others as gifts on the Moon Festival. Because most people giving them to others once time per year, the appealing package can easily show how expensive they are.
b.        But people always buy those which are not well packaged and also tastes good as their daily food in long term. Which can save a lot of money without the costly package.

B.        The articles on the website.
a.        Many writers give their articles some appealing titles, but actually the contents of them do not have much thoughtful things. People like the articles with high value contents.
b.        But without a good title, people may cannot pay more attention on them.

C.        With a good image, the good things with high quality have more chances to be well known. So an appealing image is also important.
a. The most popular Apple Phones which do not only have the high performance operating system and hardware, but also have a good look. The appealing appearance of it is one of the reasons that make it popular.

关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想或困惑：
同等重要是不是也算一种观点呢？


我来点评其他网友
楼层： 73
1）____网友提纲的框架是否合理？
觉得框架没什么问题，但也许引入段可以把下面的三个观点更清晰的概括一下？


2）____网友开头段语言方面有哪些问题？
觉得谚语用的很棒，学习了  

Joker—XYZUID: 3508086

完整题目

People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making

99) Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position


我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第3种??将key term分为日常行为 紧急行为 坏习惯

我的提纲如下

开头段全文：
I partly agree with the claim ,but sometimes people can determine their behaviors by themselves. People have different behaviors on various occasions and there will be different factors depending on occasions.Generally speaking,people could determine their behaviors in daily life. However,in emergency situations,they have to make a choice in limited time. On the other hand,people always have some bad habits which is hard to correct.


主题句1
日常行为
People's behaviors in daily life can be influenced by different factors,like environment, education and so on.

Example:in the famous movie "My fair lady ", a gentleman helped a country girl to correct her rude behaviors and the girl became a fair lady in the end. So people's behavior can be influenced by different environments and others' helps.
主题句2
In some emergency situations where people's reactions would be guided by their intuitions.

A father pushed his son out of their car when the car was smashed by the falling stones from the mountain during a earthquake. In that situation,this hero father give the only chance of surviving to his son instead of runaway. This behavior is natural to every parent.


主题句3
People would keep some bad habits which are developed by backgrounds.
Example: Some overweight people still eat junk food when it's harmful to their health. It shows that sometimes people's behaviors are out of their own control.


关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想或困惑

逻辑关系可能把握不到位 感觉第一个主题偏向了第一种方法

哥特同学UID: 3829477

78. People’s attitudes are determined more by their immediate situation or surroundings than by society as a whole. 人们的观点态度更多地取决于他们身处的情况或环境，而非社会整体环境。
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
solution\comparison [Individual and group, leaders and society]

第二种分类，按照观点态度分类：
        宏观，意识形态、理想追求 —— 社会环境（nationwide）
        阶层，对于具体事情的看法 —— 家庭、教育、职业环境
        微观，对于物质条件的态度 —— 个人性格

第一步；请利用同意转换(paraphrase)的方式介绍要讨论的问题作为文章的开头
第二步；用一句话概括三个论点为主旨句
The statement considering two distinctive determining factors of people’s attitudes, one is their immediate situation or surroundings what they belongs to, and the other is the society as a whole. However, in my view of point, what determines human’s attitudes may varies from different observational scopes on local, regional and global levels. Individual personalities, surrounding groups and the whole of society are all playing important roles in developing people’s attitudes.

In the mini-scale, immediate attitude, including financial security, health and well-being is actually governed by one’s internal characteristics.
e.g. According to Maslow's hierarchy of needs, the first two stage "physiological", "safety", are in the priority, rooted in the childhood.

In the group scale, the individual’s inclination and position of a particular social events is more likely to be associated with his social class.
e.g. wealth of his family, education and occupation —— diet, tastes and interests,
e.g. researchers and professors show no passion in entertainment gossip, while journalists or the editors of fashion magazine devote themselves to market research for handling the tendency entertainment affairs.

In the large scale, the basic value of individuals, for instance, the outlook on life and the lifelong pursuit, is largely influenced by the mainstream culture of the society as a whole.
e.g. The Renaissance was a period in European history, from the 14th to the 17th century, regarded as the cultural bridge between the Middle Ages and modern history. The intellectual basis of the Renaissance was its own invented version of humanism, derived from the rediscovery of classical Greek philosophy.

感想：
1. 一个方案写不同意（人们的观点态度受到a个人、b环境、c社会的影响），这是我上面写的
另一个方案是写同意，人们的观点态度更倾向于受到环境的影响，理由是a家庭环境，b教育环境，c让步即使个人追求与社会文化一致，也往往是受到了大众传媒的宣传影响
这两个方案没有确定写那个，很纠结。求老手帮忙~
2. 语言的问题，感觉脱离不了托福作文的烂大街语言啊……

评论
1）39楼网友提纲的框架是否合理？
合理 group里面分开说了两类，一个是家庭，一个是职业，然后让步段说的是个人的特征。

2）39楼网友提纲所用的例子是否合适？
合适，笔者只是有几个建议：
家庭的例子是否可以从归属感和爱与孤独的角度再挖掘一下？
职业的例子是否可以从物质、教育层面扩展？
个人的例子，可否增加基因、遗传、定居等角度说明定位是多维的，一方面让步，一方面提升主题？

3）39楼网友开头段语言方面有哪些问题？
开头很好。我自己不太会写这个题目，是在犹豫不知道怎么定义“we define ourselves”这件事。
可能有点绕，抛砖引玉，请老手们带路~