issue同主题写作-第二类 8月10-11日

天地1沙鸥UID: 3654706

Issue 61
People should undertake risky action only after they have carefully considered its consequences.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第2种  从不同的角度展开，具体来说，
将 people 从scientists/ merchants / student 3个角度进行阐述

我的提纲如下开头段全文：
As the wake of rapid development of the technology since our human stepped into the Information Age, increasing amount of information demands us to foster the ability of handling them in time.  Therefore, here comes a heated debate on whether we should undertake risk action after careful consideration? As for me, it depends on the position people hold, for example, scientist, merchants and students should take different methods before taking risks.

主题句1 科学家们在采取冒险行为要认真考虑
First of all, careful consideration is indispensable for scientist to take risks, especially when publishing the questionable scientific results. As it is under the serve examination of all world scientists, untenable theory may deteriorate the repute of the scientist.
Example: Chunyu Han, who published a breakthrough in biology field which is cannot be repeated.
Reason: publish questionable results without careful consideration lead to decrease on reputation.

主题句2  经济市场的迅速变化要求商人迅速反应
Moreover, there is no denying that the rapidly changing economy environment demand the business people to react them in a short time without consideration.
Example, Jianlin Wang, transferred most of his property to other companies.
Reasoning: It is widely believed to be the quick responds to the new limit rules on building field which may be less beneficial in the next few years.

主题句3 对于学生，需要具体分析是否冒险
In addition, whether considering before risking for students should be analyzed according to the consequences it brings.
Small events like choosing the transportation methods may be of little significance, save the consideration. Things related to the safety or life should be considered carefully as it may result danger.

关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想或困惑
刚开始根据关键词people,想到了对其分类，scientist(应该考虑), business man(不应考虑), student (考虑与否均可)，最后写的时候感觉student这边应该分情况讨论，但是这样会不会与中心点有冲突？
或者从事情角度分类？重要事情，非重要事情，但是第三种没想出来？

关于7楼的作文
整体感觉角度选取比价好，从个人，企业，国家角度，由小到大，思路很清晰，逻辑也很通顺，但感觉国家包含前两者。
1）第三个角度如果改成政府是不是会更好一些，这样就不会与个人相包含
2）我觉得整体的观点是需要仔细考虑最后就不用再转折，我一般是两点支持然后一段是让步这样需要转折

7楼已有人评，那就再点评下29楼，大家互帮互助
分类思想跟我比较像，但是没有从三个角度？另外后面TS似乎并没有从这两个角度去写（写了两个科学的simplify 然后让步段给出科学complex）？
1）开头段没有给出自己观点，只提到了科学家探索复杂领域和科学知识能避免犯错
2）TS2最好将medical 前面加上science跟主题相符，讨论科学影响

MorfireUID: 3747042

11.People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.


11) Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第2种  分类，具体来说，......
讨论对于平庸者与有为之人的而言，内因和外因的影响程度。其中，内因外因又分为正向、负向

我的提纲如下

开头段全文：
There is no need to feel shamed and embarrassed when you are discouraged by difficulties and obstacles. However, it is true that different people take different positions and attitudes to face the forces from the environment, the situation, and others. We are all defined by what we have learned and what we know as we gradually mature, nevertheless, our behaviors are not only decided by the outside forces, but also held by our determination and resolution, which is in no way a minor factor.

主题句1
First of all, in order to understand how the outside factors and inside factors determine our action, we need to classify them.
具体例子或细节
rain—cancel picnic(can’t avoid); misunderstanding—hope to gain agreement, to be part of social circle—compromise
Passion, interest(motivation) guide the path; laziness or depression(influenced by outside forces)

主题句2
The degree people get affected by outside forces depends on how strong they are. Outside forces have much more critical impact on normal people.
具体例子或细节
Give up what they want to pursue because money, family…—have motivation but not strong
Follow others easily: famers give up they planted before and plant what others plant.

主题句3
On the contrary, outside factors are not be able to change people with strong believes.
具体例子或细节
Sisyphus knew the consequences but still chose that he wanted—believe he was satisfied even in the endless torture—follow what is right in heart, not the outside forces
Jack Ma: quit job, bear misunderstanding --fight, not give up—settle a new judgement for followers.


关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想或困惑
具体的例子想不出来……
还有，强大与平庸的界限在哪里？


我来点评其他网友
楼层：34楼

1）网友提纲的框架是否合理？
合理。1，2并列，3从另一个角度说，个人觉得没问题。
但是应不应该讲一下紧急又无比重要的决定呢？界限在哪里

2）网友提纲所用的例子是否合适？
合适。

3）网友开头段语言方面有哪些问题？  
一般这种情况应该用could be而不是can吧。
magnificent的英文解释是褒义的。

IbelievingUID: 3744774

『辅助思路』

Issue 61
People should undertake risky action only after they have carefully considered its consequences.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.


提纲如下：

开头段：
Whether or not should people evaluate the situations before taking risk depends on the extent to which the risk will be. If it is generally encountered and under control when carefully undertook, and we are able to exhaustively learn about the risk, that will be necessary to think more about the consequences, for preventing suffering big loss and deep hurt. However, under the situation that is so exigent that decisions are asked to be made without deliberating, considering meticulously may for some extent be seem as hesitating and gender more trouble perhaps.

TS1:
For risk that is easy to undertake, people benefit from careful assess, because it is helpful to keep us away from some unexpected trouble.
Example: going our for camping, well learning about the dangers oncoming is indispensable for security.

TS2:
It is also necessary to consider carefully when the risk is accessible to be evaluated.
Example: Jack Ma, who initiate the Company Alibaba, of course have assessed the hardship before he took action.

TS3:
While faced with dangerous situation, it is impossible for us to take much time thinking.
Example: Firefighters always run straight into the most dangerous houses without even a second considering how perilous the situation will be.

感想困惑：1.第一次列提纲，不管对结构还是语言组织都很生疏，语言的问题是否能通过模仿老师范文的句子相对快速的提高
2.按照老师的辅助思路写了，老师的思路类似第三种方法吧，将risk分为三类，但我能否更“偷懒”一点，直接分为三种不同的人他们所面对的具有他们身份特征的risk时的三种情况呢，比如直接医生，企业家，消防员。

MaggieLLLLLLUID: 3827790

61. People should undertake risky action only after they have carefully considered its consequences.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第2种 ，分情况讨论，影响严重与否，时间紧急与否

No one can avoid encountering with risks in his or her life. Sometimes, the risks can be trivial, while at other time, it can be quite magnificent that with one single false move, you will be smashed into pieces. Therefore, some people provide the suggestion that we should be really cautious when confronting every risk and scrutinize the potential consequences before we take any actions. Reasonably it may sound, I found it not practical to adopt this strategy to all risks in the reality. Instead, we should take into the considerations of whether the consequences are severe or not and the time constraints we have.

TS1: Sometimes, we really meet some life-or-death risks. The risks may not only influence ourselves but also people around us, the environment, or even the society as a whole. With more responsibility, high-involvement, and enough time for us to think thoroughly, we should make good use of that time to weigh the pros and cons.
E.g. political leaders to launch a new policy

TS2: However, sometimes, the risks can be just trivial and may only have an influence on yourself. If we take things too seriously, it would be a total waste of time when a lot more work could not be accomplished
we are facing risks almost all the time in our entire life. E.g. daily minimal staff: When cooking, risks of being cut, crossing the road, risks of being hit…
（That’s why we adopt both peripheral and central route in our cognitive process）

TS3: Even though sometimes the risks could be so high that may even threaten our life, in certain situation it is too urgent for us to think thoroughly before making formal decision.
E.g. mother’s instinct to protect his/her children. Even for strangers: The fireman who sacrificed his life to save people
During the war

我的困惑：以前写过的提纲，重新改了一下，就是不知道ts1、2和3可以这样并列否，或者应该在想一个新的点，把1和2合并，望大家指正！


我来点评其他网友
楼层：32楼

1）网友提纲的框架是否合理？
我觉得后两段架构清晰，但我在觉得第一段独立一段解释inside和outside factor会不会有些没有必要，感觉挺common sense的

2）网友提纲所用的例子是否合适？
觉得第二段栗子可以举更多生活中的栗子，更容易理解，原谅我family plant的那个我实在没看懂hhh

3）网友开头段语言方面有哪些问题？  
我觉的挺流畅的，但感觉ts应该再明显一点

freefmUID: 3688595

首段：I do not agree with the statement for its all or nothing impression on me. From my perspective, our behaviors are determined by our wellness and contexts. As for which one contributes the dominant role, it depends.

It is easy to find social environment and specific contexts can cast a large shadow on the decision of human's behaviors. Such as workplace.

When it comes to personal learning choice, many people make their choices regarding their own interests and understanding of the subject.

In the field of daily life, our behaviors are largely on our own.

LynnHanUID: 3788778

People should undertake risky action only after they have carefully considered its consequences.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

选择第三种方式：classification of key terms. Risky action有不同的程度区别,如:普遍程度、紧急程度、可量化程度等，都会影响人们的反应（carefully consider its consequences or not）
TS：Risk taking,the instinct action of predicting possible consequences and bouncing between different decisions,is an important element for human beings in avoiding detrimental factors. I agree that a full consideration before take risk taking enables individuals to circumvent negative situations, since people are well-prepared both physically and mentally.But the key point is that not every risky actions are commonly known or could be successfully managed,say,we can’t even predict when catastrophys will happen in the future.

TS1: If the risks are commonly known by the public and are easily managed,extra preparation contributes to avoid hazardous operations.
-example: extreme sports:purchasing insurance,hiring coaches,wearign safety rope

TS2:Secondly,sophisticated mathematical models or computer stimulating softwares are anticipated to analysis risks well in an scientific ways,thus helping people to make properly decisions as well as taking right steps when dealing with risky stuffs.
-example: airport, safety system.By analysing the weather,temperature,flying routines,a well-functioning safety guarded system enables pilots operate their planes in a less risky modes.

TS3 However,it’s impossible for us human beings to anticipate every risks,let alone reacting swiftly and carefully in some emergency.
-example:earthquake ,happening without any indication.

关于31楼的提纲：
感觉例子举得很丰富啊~然后是从三个不同角色入手的，这点我之前没有想到过。不过我也有这样的疑问：三个特殊的群体是否可以代表普遍情况？
1）框架OK，我觉得从不同人出发也是一种思路。值得学习@@！！
2）例子很棒啊，比我的例子要丰富很多。不过第二段你举的chunyu han，和take risk的关系是啥？看到scientists是说做实验啥的要小心风险，他的事儿感觉比较偏激，事实上是个人的选择破坏了reputation。（个人观点哈）
3）开头段第一句As the wake of rapid development of the technology since our human stepped into the Information Age, increasing amount of information demands us to foster the ability of handling them in time.  感觉说的是information age我们需要对信息做出快速的反应？感觉没有立即和题目的key words（risk）做呼应啊

LynnHanUID: 3788778

。

AhyNUID: 3790521

People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.

11) Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

第三种结构（？）

TP：
What determines people’s behaviors largely? We may wobble between the options, as mentioned before, like forces or people’s own making. Since it’s a complicated issue, we need to consider it critically. Although force will work well with those who can’t control themselves very well, but those group who already have had the capacity of self-control and know what to do. In these positions, their own makings will help.

TS1
Force establish a great deal of behaviors of people who still can’t control oneself very well.
Reasoning.
Hence they can’t control themselves to develop good-behavior, they need force to advocate them. Firstly to form a habit, and them a behavior.
Eg.Children before school or in primary school
   --expected to be with good-manner but they don’t know what’s that
--can’t remember the instruction from their parents, force help them tot remember

TS2:
   Unfortunately, Force could be invalid for those already have self-control and know what they want to do. In this position, one’s own making could be more effective.
Eg.Ma Yun, the CEO of Alibaba
       --was a child who liked to fight with others in his childhood
       --when determined to learn English, he went to the West Lake in Hangzhou when he was 12
       --when determined to use the Internet to introduce the Chinese goods to the world, he learnt more about the Internet and tried so many to attract fund.
He did all of these without force but with his own making.

TS3:
    Force can even can be counter-productive to the those who need creativity.
Eg.The artists who pursue original works
--Force will limit their thought, which is the most important factor to them
--they need own making, that is, following their heart to create new work

没时间点评，先贴过来再补吧><
困惑：感觉自己有点分不清楚第二种结构和第三种结构了
比如我想说把人分成——有自制力/无自制力，或者学生、企业家、教授，这两种都算第三种情况吗？怎么觉得也有点像第二种。。。
感觉大家例子和语言都很棒。。学习学习。。。

listeningwuttUID: 3814547

选题38: It is primarily through our identification with social groups that we define ourselves.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

选择第二种写作结构

It is an interesting activity to consider the way that leads to our definition on ourselves. Because when the primary facts become clear, we are able to better appreciate and chart ourselves. In my opinion, we define ourselves through the identification with social groups – family, job market. Nevertheless, there still has internal facts the thing deeply hidden in our gene.
p1:We are born with a social group – our family.  Our roles played in the family has been changing along our growth, so as our defination of ourselves.
E.g1.   we consider ourselves as a immature kids who need consideration and caring from other because our parents identify us as a child.
e.g.2   Once we become parents, we eventually treat ourselves as adults expected to take the responsibility of family because our own child identify us like that.

p2: aside from family, the group we get in touch with is job market. Wether we define ourselves success or not may greatly determine by the relative achievement in our company.
e.g.1.  if one is a leader of our company, it has a great possibility he consider himself as a successor. Because all of his employees admire him, although he maybe an average person when putted in the whole society.

p3.   however, the internal force, the gene, can never be ignored in defining ourselves.
e.g. we define ourselves as a yellow person as our skin is composed with all kinds of cells which coded by DNA.

维和部队_UID: 3791234

61.People should undertake risky action only after they have carefully considered its consequences.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.


采用第二种方法（from different perspectives）构建提纲。紧急情况下不允许充分思考而不采取行动可能会有无法弥补的损失；有很多时候结果无法衡量而放弃会因此错失良机；当时间充裕风险可预测且可规避时此举有利。

Intro：
People have a tendency to reduce the risk as much as possible and it seems plausible as what statement emphasizes—the potentially risky decision can only be made after a full consideration. However, given that it is not sensible in the reality in some cases such as that we cannot make a risk assessment with limited information or time, I disagree with the statement that full consideration is the compulsory prerequisite of risky action taking.
Ts1
In some emergent scenarios, the strong desire to survive prods people into actions, because we cannot afford the loss caused by doing nothing.
e.g. In the wild, when a person is bitten by a venomous snake, he has to cut himself on the injury with knife to eliminate blood with toxin, however, without time to think about it.
Ts2
If we stop because of that, we will let many opportunities slip through our fingers, which hinders the development. In such a world with endless unknown things, people cannot make the predictable assessment about the consequences of risky action.
e.g. We have no idea about whether there will be aliens to attack the earth if we are noticed when exploring the universe. If we thus had given up the exploration of universe, we would have known nothing about it.
e.g. In genetic research, we cannot predict whether the gene manipulation would make a monster to oust human or not. Even that, we still strive to develop trans-genetic technology for wellbeing of human.
Ts3
Many cases in our daily life do require a full consideration before taking the risky action, because we have time to think and are able to assess the risk.
e.g. High school graduates easily to be in a quandary about the gap year which is a risky decision for some. They should think twice before do that, since it will affect their fate, at least in a short term.

点评36楼

1.TS里有些语法上的错误我就不挑出来了，建议LynnHan同学下次写完自查一下哈。
2.TS1&2感觉有点重合了，感觉TS1是一种模型量化的概念，TS2是一种数据量化的概念，都算是可量化？尤其TS1中insurance的例子应该更贴切于TS2吧。
3.不知道你给的例子是用于such as 列举用的，还是会具体展开。个人感觉大部分例子还是要稍微具体深入一点比较能支撑论点。
4.单看提纲感觉理论有点单薄，不知道是不是展开不够的原因。

芥弥UID: 3802147

Issue 93

Unfortunately, in contemporary society, creating an appealing image has become more important than the reality or truth behind that image.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第3种: through classification of key terms in the issue statement，具体来说，将relationship between image and reality分类image reveals reality; image is reality; image masks reality

我的提纲如下

开头段全文："Don't judge a book by its cover" is an age-old proverb. Likewise, the relationship between the appearance and the essence or content behind it has always been highly debated. Some even pessimistically deplore that in a society dominated by consumerism, people only pay attention to the appealing images while ignoring the reality behind these images. The crux of this debate lies in the function of appealing images to the truth behind them.When attractive images could help reveal the essence of truth or are truth themselves, images and the content behind them are equally important. Yet, when attractive images only serve to divert the attention from or overshadow the real conditon, we should pay more attention to the content or truth behind.

主题句1
When images serve to be the representation or demonstration of the reality, it is not reasonable to set apart its appearance from its reality.
        Example 1: Book cover, themes, characters, attract readers to know more.
        Example 2: Archtecture, building, museum, attract more investment and revenues, more tenants and visitors,

主题句2
In fashion industry, appealing images or shows are the content or main products of fashion design.
        Example 1: Fashion show, clothes=character, style, trend
        Example 2: hairstyle=personality
主题句3
However, we should aware of the truth lying behind the beguiling appearance when the winsome cover masks the reality.
         Example 1: Red Cross propoaganda, wonderful picture online, little work done in reality
         Example 2: New rich buying luxuries, only show off, not spiritual elitism


关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想或困惑：
因为借鉴了Simon老师的框架，所以思路清晰很多，但是开头引出主题的部分还是很难构思。

我来点评其他网友
楼层：39楼

1）网友提纲的框架是否合理？
合理。一点关于gene的小问题，我觉得你的意思应该是指ethnicity吧。

2）网友提纲所用的例子是否合适？
合适。但第二第三个分论点最好都有两个例子作支撑

3）网友开头段语言方面有哪些问题？  
It is an interesting activity to consider；chart ourselves用法比较奇怪，最后一句有语法错误

TaylorWUID: 3668665

141. It is more harmful to compromise one's own beliefs than to adhere to them.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.


我的提纲采用第二种方法架构  by considering an issue from different perspectives or in different contexts
题目说妥协不好坚持好
我说事情要分情况----1坚持有时候好---3有时候坚持不好
----- 2有时候认清客观的形式妥协退让好

TS: When evaluating the discussion that if adhering is a better option than compromising, certain conditions are needed. Adhering preforms a favorable role in the way to achievements when an individual holds the truth in his hand. It can also pose great threats to people’s life and even to the fate of descendants. Yet compromising to your previous belief sometimes became an essential guarantee of one’s brighter future.

Pt1. Holding one’s position and devoting unremitting efforts lead one to significant success.
-Tomas Edison failed 1800 times but never give up before he found the right filament material.
-Chinese entrepreneur Jack Ma built his online shopping empire even though he was treated like a fraud initially.
-Vincent Van Gogh couldn’t drop his brush until the last moment of his life. And his most known masterpieces are created at the very last two years of his life.

Pt2. Adhering could destroy our lives if our beliefs are wrong.
- During World War II, some of the fanatical Nazi blindly listened to Hitler, their behavior resulted in a serious threat to human rights and trampled on world peace.

Pt3.Compromising is a beginning to a brighter life
-Bolt gave up his career as a cricket player and became a sprinter.
-Gordon abandoned soccer and devoted to cooking and his TV program hell kitchen is famous all over the world now.

我的困惑：
这道题我理解为坚持和妥协两者没有绝对好坏 所以分情况讨论证明compromise和adhere的好坏不是绝对的
或者题目是让我们讨论二者哪个更加harmful ，那么立场就应该从A：compromise比较有害       B Adhere 比较有害   这两个观点选一来展开全文
所以我不知道我的提纲是否成立


我来点评其他网友
楼层： 41

1）____网友提纲的框架是否合理？
清晰合理 作者先申明两个方面 表里如一的时候表有益 表里不一的时候金玉其外败絮其中
并在阐释第一观点的时候分了个极端 光鲜外表本身也有价值。
2）____网友提纲所用的例子是否合适？
第一段-合适 第二段-合适 第三段-合适
3）____网友开头段语言方面有哪些问题？  
没有问题 超棒的 好崇拜~~~~

很_简单UID: 3742023

When people facing some risk, should they consider the potential risks after they undertake the action? Some people may say that we should not have a considerable thought before we enact and practice this action because we can not really consider all the potential risks and enact a “Plan B” to every risk. However, in my opinion, I think carefully consider actions’ consequences is very essential. Here are my reasons.

Firstly，considering these potential risk and consequence could prevent people such as managers and scientists from making a lot of significant mistakes which formers had done.
For example: To build the world’s highest tower—alpha tower, the engineers should consider a lot of factors which may cause the tower collapse.

Secondly, besides prevent from unnecessary loss and mistakes, considering these consequences can also bring the interests to maximum. For example: In the world’s most “famous” street—The Wall Street, thousands of financial companies calculate the interests after they make an investment, this behavior will bring them interests. And if they can avoid every mistake, they will earn the most.

Thirdly, Granted, considering the consequence will consume many time which may cause many chance are missed. We still should consider these consequences carefully because miss some chances may earn less, but do something wrong will cause irreversible damage. For example, if the engineers incorrectly calculate the force alpha tower should undertake, then the tower will fall into collapse even some people dead.


点评15楼：
1）提纲的框架是否合理？
合理，但是要注意第一二个中i的那段是否有重复？第一二个段落的例子如果互换是不是不影响文章的结构？
2）提纲所用的例子是否合适？
第二个股市的例子没有说服力，因为没有证明人们可以控制股票的incomes and risks.
3）开头段语言方面有哪些问题？
个人感觉很好，值得学习。

Dover999UID: 3808377

According to statement described above, it is wise for one person to make up his or her mind after think it over carefully. Although there is also a similar proverb in China, it seems not always the case. Personally, if one thing is either urgent or less important, we need not to think it carefully before operate it due to there is just not enough for us to think or it is not necessary. On the other hand, we should take it seriously before carrying out it.

Imagine an emergency involved the life of people, if you can only rescue them in a limited amount of time, it is afraid that there is enough time left for you to think it a lot before they are dead. Such cases is usually met for the doctor and the fireman. What they can depend is just on previous experience within several seconds.

When it comes to the less important thing, we need not take it seriously. Playing poker is very common game in our daily life. It is just an entertainment activity and usually full of relax and relatively freedom. If you think a lot before make a decision, others would lose the fun.

Whereas, as far the important but not so urgent case as concerned, making a circumspect decision will bring a lot benefits to us. As we all know, law making is a complex and not simple thing. Besides, it should also costs a lot of time for a student to choose the major.

昨天时间紧，今天补上点评

点评50楼
楼主 非常细心，每个case都分别给了论点及论据，举的例子也比较贴切。句式多样，体现了英语应用水平在上乘。不过有可能是时间比较仓促，作者还没来得及打磨，以至于有些句子读起来不那么流畅。具体的细节我提几处，我自身水平不高，不当之处，望包涵。
1.第一段 In such a manner换成In such a case是不是更合适？
2. When risk can be assessed quantitatively, one can take risky actions. 可不可以改为 Once risks are well assessed quantitatively, one can take risky actions.
3. Referring to specific risk preferences, they make decisions. 这句读的有点突兀。感觉还是应该多突出中心比较好，这样也利于e-rater能很好的评估。

justiceklUID: 3803056

61.People should undertake risky action only after they have carefully considered its consequences.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.


The argument talks about whether we should think about the consequence over before we take the risk. In my opinion, whether to do that depends on how much you know about the risks ,whether you can do some analyzing of risk and the situation in which the risk taker is .

frame使用第二种方法，在三种perspectives看待这个问题：how much you know about the risks ,whether you can do some analyzing of risk ，the situation in which the risk taker is

TS1：In order to gain from the adventure ,we must think about the worst result when it is familiar to us and we can imagine the worst situation.
Example：The basketball players, like Steven Curry and so on,  must think about the consequence of being a basketball player before they enter the NBA because they understand because there are some cases before for they to analogy .
Reason: Playing basketball means they may sometimes get hurts and will be so busy traveling across the cities. That is what they already realize before the get in NBA. Only  when they realize the worst things occur to them as the processional players, can they make a decision finally.
That is to say, if you know well about your risks , thus you realize what this decision may bring you and you can afford it, then you can take the risk in order to succeed.

TS2：For some risks that we may easily estimate the risks quantitatively,we should make a deep assessment to their consequences before risking.
Example:
The stock broker , who uses some analyzing tools to reduce the risk and to make rapid response to the market, always consider the consequence using the tools carefully before he do the investment.
Reason: He can know the maximum money he lost.Once he feels he can sustain the maximum,namely the worst consequence, then he undoubtedly will take this risk. In that moment, the risk is no longer a “risk” for him because he can accept the worst.

TS3：On the other hand,for someone who is in the most emergent situation, he or she don’t have time to think thoroughly about the consequence and have to make decision out of instinct while not concerning about the result.
Example:
For someone in the ICU(Intensive Care Unit) in the hospital, he have not choice but to take the risk of the surgery in order to survive. In this situation, he don’t have time to think over about the consequence because every second is precious for his life. He would make decision out of instinct to process the surgery immediately concerning nothing about the risks.