issue同主题写作-第二类 8月10-11日

陈瑶瑶UID: 3779382

Issue 61People should undertake risky action only after they have carefully considered its consequences.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.
我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第2种 ，分不同情况进行讨论
——1.个人发展：能力有限，不能完全评估风险，但是可以从实践中遇到更多风险，学习规避更大的风险；
——2.企业发展：（1）机会有限 （2）时间有限；完全评估风险可能失去发展良机，大多数企业更多地是在遇到风险时解决风险，从而获取更大的利益发展；
——3.紧急情况：（1）自然灾害 （2）交通事故
或者转折3.政府:面临情况更复杂，利益群众广泛，步步为营较为适当转折
开头段全文：
Risks exist everywhere.Some people claim that we should make a thorough analysis of all the risky situations we may encounter before making a decision practicing it.Only by estimating carefully all the circumstances can we avoid a great loss and make a better profit .However,I think that it is inappropriate and impossible to take action after fully consideration .Since risk actually does exist in every step of our action ,it is even more risky for not only individuals but also corporations to waste too much time or chance to cover all the situations.
主题句1
Under a variety of possibilities in the personal development, there is indeed a limitation for individuals to consider all the consequences of their action. Instead of fearing the potential danger ,we should take action at once and be brave to face the risk.
具体例子或细节
Example:Dropping out from school seems to be risky enough (Bill Gate or Jobs)
主题句2
A chance is precious and rare in a highly competitive society and therefore it is even more risky for companies to waste too much time to make a decision with overall analysis.
具体例子或细节
Example:Shared bicycles in China.The earlier they put the new products on market,the larger the percentage of consumers they would gain.(Mobike and Ofo,compared with other less popular shared-bike companies)
主题句3
Still,there are a lot of emergencies,like natural disasters and traffic accidents that we have to take action out of distinct.
具体例子或细节
Example:disaster or accidents.
关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想或困惑 
虽然采用了第二种分情况的方法，但是在具体论述的时候似乎做不到分门别类、逻辑清晰；举例子的时候，并不能在较短时间内相处一个贴切的例子


我写的全文 （建议在修改提纲后再写） 
我来点评其他网友
楼层：9楼 

1）卿本悠悠网友提纲的框架是否合理？
框架合理，从学习、工作、生活方面三个论证，但是具体论证的时候似乎没有深入地分析个中缘由

Leona2017UID: 3829393

『辅助思路』
题目原文 Issue 61
People should undertake risky action only after they have carefully considered its consequences.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

TS:
Whether the statement holds true or not depends on whether the risk is manageable or assessable. If the risk is easy to control or evaluate, only after full consideration can we take action. However, in case of emergency, when risks remain unknown, people ought to deal with it by instinct instead of consideration.

ts1:
The statement is true when face a well-known risk and the risk is easy to manage.
the importance of wearing seat belts when driving
Many people experienced traffic collision and even killed because of it.
On the other hand, a large number of them saved thanks to seat belts.
Given the severe consequences, people should take measures to manage the risk

ts2:
People ought to think twice before they act and then they can take risky action if the risk is assessable.
Travel to another country when know little about the public security there.
-Before book tickets, search the crime statistics of the country and read blogs where some travelers share their experiences.

ts3:
It is reasonable for people who act out of instinct under emergency when there is no time for any hesitation.
When the situation is so urgent that it is even much riskier to consider anything, people should believe in their instinct, which may provide the only ways to survive.

感受：
王老师的方法应该是第二点：2.considering an issue from different perspectives or in different contexts
第一次写提纲，很费劲，花了一个多小时。中途因为不知道怎么替换、表达还查了很多次字典。路漫漫其修远兮呀。不过很开心自己迈出了写作的第一步。时间有点晚，没来得及点评同学作文，先挖个坑吧。

Leona2017UID: 3829393

踩点防被踢

安歌UID: 3662922

『辅助思路』。

People should undertake risky action only after they have carefully considered its consequences.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.


Life is like a bar of chocolate. While some just pick one and wait to be surprised by a new flavor, wise people choose after careful selection. In such a manner, they manage to undertake risky action after considering its consequences. Risk is worth taking only when it is well known and easy to manage or when it can be assessed quantitatively. Nevertheless, in case of emergency, people tend to take risk out of instinct.

When the risk is well known and fairly easy to manage, one can afford to take risks.
Eg. In the factory, there could be risks during the manufacturing process. However, product process continues as long as all the risks are well considered and are kept under control.
Reasoning: Profits come along with risks. Therefore, to guarantee revenue, companies take risks so long as standards are well set for risk control.

When risk can be assessed quantitatively, one can take risky actions.
Eg. Whenever institutions or individuals are making investments, they should assess the cost and effect quantitatively. Referring to specific risk preferences, they make decisions.
Reasoning: When risk cannot be well managed, one can still choose to take risky actions as far as he or she has thoroughly considered the costs after quantitative analyses. Whenever the effects outweigh the costs, one is still very likely to succeed.

Though careful considerations help people to manage or quantify the risk before taking actions, in case of emergency, invariably, it is instinct that plays the decisive role.
Eg. A mother managed to rush to save her child who is falling down from the window. Without time to consider any risks, she acted out of the instinct of a mother.
Reasoning: In case of emergency, time could be too limited for any careful considerations. In such a manner, any assessments should and have to give way to human instinct.

点评43楼
1. 论点都找的不错，层层递进
2. 论据也比较贴切
3. 语言质量有待提高，比如一句话没有谓语（动词）但是有分词。

John-scienceUID: 3829652

完整题目
61: People should undertake risky action only after they have carefully considered its consequences.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第2种, by considering an issue from different perspectives，具体来说，......
我的提纲如下

开头段全文：In my perspective, whether we should to evaluate the results while taking an adventure depends on both the time left and the importance of the things. Some things which is critical to your future development and health should be taken without hesitation, otherwise opportunities are gone after careful estimation. However, we need to think carefully to decide whether to do or not if enough time is left.


主题句1 It is necessary for us to catch the opportunity immediately which will play a vital role in your future development though facing risks.
具体例子或细节
eg:  whether to receive a challenging job when another candidate is await

主题句2具体例子或细节 while under the threat of dangerous man, making one decision either fighting against or escaping immediately is the best action to stay safe.
eg: While a man is trying to follow you on the street at midnight.

主题句3 In contrast, we need to take all consideration into counts and make a relatively better decision with enough time left.
具体例子或细节
eg: choose to work or further study after graduation

关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想或困惑
感觉举合适的例子证明比较困难，而且写三个观点是是可以都写正面还是可以正反都可以


我写的全文 （建议在修改提纲后再写）


我来点评其他网友
楼层：36

1）整体框架可以，着眼于 risk action 程度和种类 感觉比我想的要深入一点


2）感觉有些例子没有说清楚，比如地震那个例子只说了地震发生的不可测 但是没有引出人们需不要仔细思考 before risk action，个人觉得证明力度不够


3）____网友开头段语言方面有哪些问题？
语言很不错,比较地道。 但感觉Classification 没有具体写出来三个观点或关键词。个人观点哈

大田点点十UID: 3705449

『辅助思路
61.People should undertake risky action only after they have carefully considered its consequences.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

我采用的是王老师提供的辅助思路，才第二种方法分为三种perspectives， know the risk, risk can be accessed, emergency situation.

我的提纲如下

开头段全文：
People could choose to undertake risk action with a prerequisite that they have carefully considered the consequences of their actions. It is safe to say the statement is true when we know exactly the risk is and how to control it, or when it is possible to access the risk quantitatively. While it may not be applicable when facing emergency condition which requires people to take risky action out of instinct.

主题句1
People could undertake risky action if they are pretty familiar with the consequences and know how to deal with risk.
example: Using the computer too long is bad for your eyes and body, and it might even cause disease. The risk can be reduced by having a rest for your eyes and exercising every 45minutes.
reasoning: To prevent the harm of your body, people should take measure to control the risk.

主题句2
Also, they might take risky action when they think the risk can be accessed quantitatively.
example: Investment
reasoning: we can evaluate the risk by many ways. By this, we can reduce the risk.


主题句3
However, it is not wise to ask people to do that under an emergency situation when they usually take risky action out of instinct.
example: In a basketball game, the best player usually shoots the ball then kill the game in the last few seconds.
reasoning: There is no time to allow players to think a better solution, they have been practicing this for thousands of times and they have the ability to do it.


关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想或困惑
有了老师的思路感觉好很多，按部就班，希望能有良好的习惯。最大的问题在于想例子，想了半天，而且感觉可用度一般。

我写的全文 （建议在修改提纲后再写）



我来点评其他网友
楼层：

1）____网友提纲的框架是否合理？
可以适当添加reasoning，拓展开写全文的时候应该也会用到。

2）____网友提纲所用的例子是否合适？
合适

3）____网友开头段语言方面有哪些问题？
是否应该paraphrase一下主题？

justiceklUID: 3803056

People’s behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.


In my opinion,whether we can determine our behavior out of our own is depend on the what we are doing, such as entertaining ,working, studying. We can decide the amusing activities because we can choose our favourite one when we are free while we must be governed in a company as a staff to serve the whole community. What about studying? It contains both the force to circumscribe us and some freedom time decided by ourselves.

TS1:In the entertaining area,we can choose whatever we enjoy to amuse ourselves because we are not subjected by anyone at this situation.
Example:In weekend,when most people can take a rest after a work for weekday, so many people will to see the movies. You will see some brave boy choose to see the action movie and even the thrills while some cute girls decide to see the romantic movies. Your behavior must be decided by your own favor but not any forces to vacillate your choice.
Reason: The entertainment wouldn’t disturb anyone so you can make up your mind all out of yourselves without regulations.

TS2: On the other hand,in a company,when we all act as a part of this community,we can’t make decision all out of ourselves because personal favor must sacrifice for the community interest for the sustaining grow of the company.
Example:In the Apple Store I serve for,we personnel must obey the routine to start work at 8:00 at and leave it at 6:00 pm. We can’t leave our way when we are tired because the service must be provided to the customers at any moment. Once we leave away, the customers will feel confused about the production and complain about it. That will lead to a loss of prestige to our company.
Reason: we can’t behave casually from our mind and have to obey any rule of the company in order to achieve a success as a whole.

Ts 3: Good studying must combine some free decision out of favor and some discipline made from our teachers or school.
Reason: If we study in the way out of our making, we may sometimes feel it is hard to gain both effectiveness and efficiency because we can’t find the best way to learn in our own. Vice Verse,if we all study in a way obeying anything our teachers talk us, we may always be ordinary people because we don’t have the special strategy to outweigh others and just follow the same way as anyone else. We must keep a balance between this two.We can learn to obey some rules while create something suitable for us out of our won making. In this way, we can become the people  with normal knowledge promised by the rule and some genius who has his own talent out of his making.

我来点评其他网友
楼层：30

1）____网友提纲的框架是否合理？
采用让步的方式固然提供了更严谨的论证，但是这个让步说到底还是只是在说要认真考虑后果，没有写不认真考虑后果的情况，这样做是否足够严谨？
让步说不能consider too much,后面又说要consider,这个度如何界定？

2）____网友提纲所用的例子是否合适？ 
爱迪生，和哥伦布的例子怪怪的，怎么证明他们没有consider thoroughly，只是有稍微consider.,这一点没有说明
 

3）____网友开头段语言方面有哪些问题？
很多句子没写完整

天行九歌UID: 3653380

Issue 61
People should undertake risky action only after they have carefully considered its consequences.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.
开头段
Admittedly，carefully consideration before taking risky action could help people to make a safe and conscious move.I would like to elaborate my points by discussing three situation,namely,choosing a university ,managing a project ,and making a policy
第一段，举了一个选学校的例子
Take a example of the student who is going to choose a university, it’s necessary for him to have a comprehensive knowledge about the consequence his choice may bring to him.Obviously,choosing a university may be one of the most significant decision in a person’s life,it may involve in his career development even his future life.Thus,one need to research the various universitys as well as majors in order to make the decision wise.For instance,to choose a university that there are high possibility it would reject him?Or go to a university that may definitely accept him though its level may be a little lower?These questions all need detailed consideration. Though taking some risks to gamble the result may still occur,the whole process is always after a detailed consideration.
第二段，举了一个工作时候的例子
In addition,even when it comes to work,comprehensive consideration is still important.For instance,as a project manager,one must considerate every part of the task as a whole to make the project run smoothly so that it will get a good result. Despite the chances that he need to take risks that ,as a result of the limit time or resources,the employee may delay the schedule,or some emergencies happen coincidentally,he need to figure out a previous plan to handle those situations.If he fail to control the events,or could not give a reason or rescue solution,he will cause the enormous loss of the productivity of the company.Worse even,he may be cut down and lose the job.Thus,it’s never allowable to take risks without detailed consideration.
（限时没写完，直接写了结尾，后来补上的）第三段，举了罗斯福的例子
What’s more,when it comes to the government,such as a policy maker of a department,or even the leader of a nation,the situation will be the same as the above two examples.Roosevelt,the famous president in American history,was such a amazing policy maker that his groundbreaking policies has been considered as the model that the afterworld need to learn.During the depression,he not only successfully solved the economical bust by proposing new policy which had no previous example before,but also set the foundation which would lead the  second war to a success through his steadfast attitude.Though forced to face the serious situation of the national and international turbulence,and needed to make risky decision,he managed to elaborate a series of policies to handle all the consequences.Admirable nerve,indeed,also reasonable plan.
结尾，直接点名观点
In conclusion,taking risks sometimes may be unavoidable,but in order to face the concequence,people need to consider a detailed plan as possible as he could so that it won’t cause severe damage or bad influence to the things they are handling
个人感想：打字有点慢，写不完全，例子没有详细展开，不太充分，三个方面选择的不知道会不会略为片面，可能有语法和字词打错

PtisenbonandrabbitUID: 3666884

People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.
99)Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

我的提纲采用了第一种方式构建框架，by introducing new concepts. 将外力影响人们行为具体到影响人们的信息来源，思维方式，行为模式（表达方式）。

提纲如下：

开头段
Although most people tend to believe they are master of themselves, their behaviour is actually highly influenced by forces as they get information from the outside, establish their habits of thinking with the help of the culture which they are soaked in and get their behavior pattern from the surrounding world.

TS1: The breadth and depth of the information that people consume is determined by several factors of the outside world.
e.g. the popularization of the internet; the wall(翻墙）

TS2：People are all cultural beings and there is no doubt that people from different cultural background varies in their ways of thinking.
e.g. Some cultures encourage people to search for identity while some tend to think highly of harmony.

TS3：It is also obvious that people raised up in different circumstance show various behaviour patterns.
e.g. people from different class have their own behaviour patterns and speech habits.

关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想或困惑：
我现在的写法是，第二点思维方式对应文化传统，第三点行为方式对应生活环境（阶级），但我不确定这个区分是否够够清晰。

我来点评其他网友
楼层： 38
1）____网友提纲的框架是否合理？
我不是很能理解这位盆友的思路，现在看来是分成1 没有自制力的人受到外力影响大，2有自制力的人主要依靠自身3外力会限制创造力。1,2 是相对的，但是3似乎和前面两个段落没有什么逻辑上的联系。如果是我的话，我宁愿只写前两个段落，显得逻辑比较完整严密。
其次，这里对force的理解是否存在偏差。我理解的force是外力的作用，是包括一些外在因素的存在，而这位同学理解的似乎是强制力（根据第三段），我现在不是很确定哪一个比较贴近题目意思。
2）____网友提纲所用的例子是否合适？ 
例子很丰富
3）____网友开头段语言方面有哪些问题？  
开头段，“as mentioned before”, 我觉得用得不合适。你可以说”as mentioned in the question”之类的，感觉比较恰当。
第一段 a great deal of behaviors

仅个人意见，欢迎交流。

ning97UID: 3781898

61.People should undertake risky action only after they have carefully considered its consequences.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.
思路：第二种-different perspective 我把它作为应然性题目，即取决于是否有足够时间、能否考虑清楚、
Into paragraph
As we all know, living as a human being means that we must accept every consequence caused by our actions. Inevitably, we sometimes take a lot of consideration before we undertake the actions. But should we consider carefully before the ultimate decision every time? I think it depends on different conditions.
TS1
On the one hand, if there is any situation that allows you to carefully think,  especially those signficant situation, do it.
Example: personal attitude    1. apply for graduate school\jobs\majors
                governmental attitude    2.any regulations closely related to people's life
TS2
One the other hand, if we couldn't find enough time or we could't find any possiblity, we may not waste the time on it.
Example: 1.Emergent conditions like earthquake\fireman
                2. some things we won't even find the roughly answer, such as whether the theoretical scientifc research.

conclusion:
After all analyzation above, I persist that we should take carefully thinking as long as we have the time or we can get a roughly answer. In some other conditions, do as the first intuition.

我的困惑：
因为我直接选择分两类太空旷了，所以又在每种条件下加了两种情况来说明,，成文之后可能会再分出段落来，担心太繁杂反而说不清了。第二个论点第二个例子，科研举的不是很合适，待会找一个合适的替换掉。（是想说有些东西的意义可能现在是想不明白的，但是值得去做。）

我写的全文 （建议在修改提纲后再写）   


我来点评其他网友
楼层： 56楼 beener322

1）网友提纲的框架是否合理？
beener322 同学用了老师给的例子，但全部转化成自己的句式，有合理的连接词，提纲总体来说合理。
第一段提到的是风险完全可控，但举例是职业选择、方法也是举出所有优缺点来比较。首先我比较倾向于这不算can be control without efforts吧；另外我也觉得同学可能更想表达的是风险能完全被量化，因为如果可控的话，那是不是不用太多思考了呢？（我觉得自己这一段也没想清楚）
2）____网友提纲所用的例子是否合适？
我觉得第二段的例子是最恰当的，当难以量化时候，举出所有风险和获利来仔细权衡，比如投资领域。
但我对第一段和第三段的例子有一些看法，觉得第一段举出的方法多少与第二点列出所有风险与获利权衡相类似了，虽然含义是不同的。
第三段的思路我是支持的，总有一些情况来不及思考。我自己举的例子也是earthquake这种生命受到威胁的时候，但是有一点想法是如果改成去救别人（来不及仔细思考）会不会更好，因为逃离危险是不用思考的，是本能；而救人是可能会要思考，但你来不及思考。也可以举例战场决策等等千钧一发的例子。

3）____网友开头段语言方面有哪些问题？
开头段语言语法应该没有问题，看得出来有经过仔细思考而写出的。
pt1: When acquainted with the risk and can control it without effort, 这里一个直接是动词被动语态（省略主语+be），一个直接是情态动词，我觉得有点问题。别的没有了

cc271793784UID: 3779694

Issue 61 
People should undertake risky action only after they have carefully considered its consequences.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

采用第二种架构，切people,分为关系到众人福利的职业---政治家，经济学家；市场变化较大的职业--企业家，投资人；成就与风险伴随的职业---探险家，科学家等。

开头段：actions, abundant with risk and uncertainty, prevent people from making them reality or missing optimal opportunities, which always trap and confuse normal people. It's no exaggeration to state that the public cannot determine the better choice due to complex and complicated situation in modern society. In deed, Whether it deserve carefully consideration to take risky options depends on which circumstance individuals are under, such as different occupation.

TS1: Committed to improve the welfare and influence the world with their words, people should endeavor to take each factor into consideration and then take risky action.
Eg. Janet Yellen in Fed, whose words exert significant impact on the world economy. Should consider the consequence seriously.

TS2: As the saying in stock market goes, "The more risk you take, the higher probability of becoming millionaire." Working as enterpriser and banker or other investors, individuals achieve success when making balance between safety and risk. They should consider some information, which will not decide their final choice on the other hand.
Eg. Jack Ma, abandoning the job safe and stable at that time, devote himself in a new field with hazard and promising future.
Eg. George Soros of Quantum Fund，every investment of him includes considerably large profit and potential danger.

TS3：However, only with risky and dangerous action could break-through be made, when it comes to scientists and adventurer.
Eg. After thousands of trial and destroyed house, Nobel achieve a milestone in human history.

       

Stacey_sueUID: 3777358

93
Unfortunately, in contemporary society, creating an appealing image has become more important than the reality or truth behind that image.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第3种，将讨论的领域分为media, science, law。

我的提纲如下

开头段全文：
It must have divided consider whether it’s unfortunately that focusing on reality is less important than making things appealing. On the one hand the appealing image will make people feel surprised temporary, on the other hand it will cover the truth in society. People doing work in different fields like media workers, scientists and judges will have various views about this issue.

主题句1
It’s fortunately for media workers that people want to give more attention on appealing image.
例子：The reporters in Hong Kong like Apple Daily which publish the appealing image had made its scale larger.
原因：人们更关注吸引人的事件导致媒体行业的规模扩大

主题句2
For scientists, this phenomenon has its double-edge. The appealing image will make scientists to find and get new idea about the problems they work, on the contrary, it will make it harder to acquire truth.
例子：Chunyu Han and his NgAgo-gDNA.
原因：太想引人注目反而急于求成

主题句3
Judges who want to give out fair will think it unfortunately that people more keep a watchful eye on appealing image not truth.
例子：O . J . Simpson murder case
原因：因为人们的过于关注而使罪犯无罪释放

关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想或困惑：
听了老师的点评感觉学到了很多！！！
这个issue写的时候感觉分类的分法有些困难，因为领域其实并不是严格的key term。
感觉自己还是更喜欢这种辩证的看，而不是像昨天自己写的那篇完全否定的观点。

点评：46楼
1.        结构很合理，觉得逻辑方面没有问题，好棒
2.        例子举的很新颖，也很符合层主想表达的内容，例子想表达的原因说的也很清楚！！！感觉层主非常认真学习了老师的方法
3.        语言方面我也不太行…可以尝试一下用一些高级的词汇？

MargueritexyUID: 3788684

78）People’s attitudes are determined more by their immediate situation or surroundings than by society as a whole.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
social interaction
study and research
work in company
我用了第二种方式构建框架，从不同点构建框架。

提纲如下
开头段：
I totally disagree with the statement that people develop their attitudes more by contemporary condition than the whole environment they live in. As we all know, it’s undeniable that people’s attitude are decided more by their current situation than by the whole society because when we are in danger, we need to change our attitudes and thoughts as soon as possible to keep us safe. However, specific problem needs special way to solve. Both immediate situation and society are important to someone has their own attitudes. Moreover, there are still some other factors as crucial as those two such as people’s inner characteristics, education and so on.

TS1：We should not deny the fact the immediate situation has a big influence on people’s attitudes. Immediate situation is what we really face to, if we want achieve the aim , we need to make the outside surrounding helpful for us. To a some little extreme extent, when in danger, what we can do is use what we have to make ourselves safe.
e.g. assumption that I have a project with few risks to make money, although many people made it and got much money, if I want to succeed in the project, I need to know about surroundings that will influence the project, I can’t just follow others’ examplification.

TS2：The society as a whole part also make an effect on our attitudes.
e.g. some attitudes we develop in a long time that support and guide us towards a correct direction
heroes in earthquake: Although it’s too dangerous, but we still follow our faith of love and kind, when we try to survive in this horrible disaster, we also try to save others life.
TS3：Moreover, the other factors are also important like inner characteristic which decide our ways to think and do thoroughly.
e.g. The character is determined before we were born mostly because of gene.Some positive people like to try their best to find creative solutions and thoughts while other negative people intend to follow displines and traditional ways to solve problem.



我的感想和困惑：
我在分点比较困难，因为我想这么表达，但是我表达出来的意思感觉并不清晰。

我来点评其他网友
楼层：楼
1）框架是否合理？
合理
2）所用的例子是否合适？
我觉得第三个点例子不是特别清晰
3）开头段语言方面有哪些问题？
我觉得挺简洁，也解释的很清楚。我觉得可以适当扩充篇幅，多加入一点背景带入。

grepphUID: 3814407

Issue 93
Unfortunately, in contemporary society, creating an appealing image has become more important than the reality or truth behind that image.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

(Framework) through classification: individuals, corporations, governments

People form certain kind of first impression toward things they meet at the first time, which is usually based on the image they have received. As we are in a fast developing society, we get access to hundreds of images every day, while we can’t remember all of them. Thus an appealing image is more important for individuals, corporations and governments to increase their chances of revealing their reality or truth behind that image in modern society.

Ts1: For individuals, an appealing image helps us build up a good impression to others, which will help us make more friends and seize more opportunities than we could imagine.
Example 1: make up and dress properly in an interview
Example 2: make boyfriends or girlfriends. We are usually attracted by their appearances before we discover their true nature.

Ts2: An appealing image is beneficial to the corporations, because it makes people remember their company easier and increases the chances of using their new products.
Example 1: the design of the brands of corporations. McDonald: “M”
Example 2: advertisement on the TV, time is limited, show something different.

Ts2: The government needs to build up effective images so that they can be supported by the public.
Example: dress in Chinese traditional clothes and use phones like Huawei

困惑：感觉在framework上思维不够发散，只能用到第三种方法，前两种方法没有好的思路。

我来点评其他网友
楼层： 40

1）提纲的框架是否合理？
比较完整，但intro段没有按照老师要求的把本文的三个point全部列出
2）提纲所用的例子是否合适？
个人认为ts2的观点有些偏，所以例子说服力不够强。题目中的观点不是让我们不要去探索未知的领域，而是说在探索之前是否要仔细思考，感觉论证中忽略了这一点。
3）开头段语言方面有哪些问题？  
棒。句与句之间的连接很自然。