issue同主题写作-第三类 8月12-13日

HelloC424UID: 3815350

listeningwutt 发表于 2017-8-13 17:30
已选

不在这里选耶，要选评分。

listeningwuttUID: 3814547

105) Claim: Imagination is a more valuable asset than experience.
Reason: People who lack experience are free to imagine what is possible without the constraints of established habits and attitudes.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is based.

We both consider imagination and experience important, but which one is more valuable could be an arcane problem. The answer is different when standing on different perspectives that are different definitions to valuation. Also, in my opinion, lacking experience won’t always lead to the free imagination, on the contrary, such lacking can come across as a restriction.
Ts1:
Though, sometimes, the habits and attitudes ingrained in experience role as a kind of restriction, we can inspire our imagination through doing little changes on the existing habits or attitude. On the contrary, totally free imagination always finds it difficult to find a starting point and ends up with aimless thinking.
E.g1 research, compound a kind of nanomaterial. Because we have the experience to compound nanomaterial with Se and Sn elements, and Se, Te elements both lying in the same clan, we may imagine replacing Se element with Te element.
e.g.2 but without previous experience, they may even don’t know how to start a possible combination of different elements to compound such material.
Ts2:
Even though imagination without the restriction of previous experience is more free and fecund, such imagination always is useless and unproductive - invaluable.
E.g1 Still take the same example, they can come up with thousands of combination of elements. But most of them are far away from being a nanomaterial.
E.g.2 lacking necessary chemical material in the lab to prove its imagination, so it is unproductive.
Ts3:
Validation’s definition can be different for different people, someone believes making a revolution is more valuable than enhance the efficiency.
e.g1.  for making a revolution, imagination is necessary. Industrial revolution counts great on the first revolution on a new powering system.
e.g.2  for enhancing efficiency, the experience counts more. The assembly-line workers need familiar habit and attitudes to enhance their efficiency.

点评29楼：
1）        提纲的框架是否合理？
1. 从分领域的角度切入，想法很好，但是个人觉得在physics, chemistry, art 三个分类不对等，变为science and art 会不会更好？
2.文章重点放在了 commonplace things, 但是却忽略了 题干的 passionate interests lead to the arising of ideas 这个逻辑层面.
2）提纲所用的例子是否合适？
1. Chemistry 这里是要写 发现存在于物体上的普遍真理吧？感觉句子表达的是一个不普遍的theory 那么就没有和commonplace对应了
2.第三主体段的例子很好

3）开头段语言方面有哪些问题？
语言语病问题不大，只是可能个别单词有打错了
I agree than the most resources these ideas came from are in our common lives and things, but for the art fields

MaggieLLLLLLUID: 3827790

9. In any field of endeavor, it is impossible to make a significant contribution without first being strongly influenced by past achievements within that field.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

方法：第三种，分不同领域分类讨论：学术、政治、艺术

  In retrospect, most of the great achievements we human beings made are more or less influenced or even guided by the past contributions made by predecessors. Some people may say that it is impossible to make a significant achievement without depending on the foundations that forerunners have made. However, from my prospective, it is not necessarily the case as we need to take into account various fields. In many fields like science, politics it mostly holds true, however, in others like art, there may be some brand new achievements being made from almost vanity.
   
  TS1:Learning from past achievement is especially crucial for scientists, not only because they have established a solid set of scientific methodology that we can adopt for future study more efficiently, but also they helped us to dodge from some possible mistakes we could make.
     Newton’s saying       
     DNA’s structure
  TS2:It also holds true in the political field, where many politicians all fight to learn yet improve from their predecessor’s achievement.  
      Invention of Marxism

  TS3: However, there may be some exception when comes to the art field where imagination and innovation is mostly appreciated by it’s inside players.
      Picasso： Cubist movement， modern art

我的困惑： 感觉art也有些牵强，没有更好的栗子，但觉得这题的argument很极端，说了all所以觉得举出一点反例来，不知道大家有没有更好的建议

点评33楼：
1）   提纲的框架是否合理？
感觉出是想讨论different perspectives，但是我没看出来1和2有太大的区别？感觉需要在第一段写出比较清楚的ts
2）提纲所用的例子是否合适？
合理
3）开头段语言方面有哪些问题？
定语从句“that are different definitions to valuation.”读起来有些奇怪，但我不知道怎么改是你想表达的意思所以没有改，你不妨拆开来看看？

gre满分周UID: 3828848

No field of study can advance significantly unless it incorporates knowledge and experience from outside that field.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

开头段：
Multidisciplinary, as the key element no matter in creation or innovation, has aroused a heated debated on whether as long as combine different subjects on project that people will get achievement. Some people believe that there is a gap between two subjects that undisputed helpless. While some people think that interdisciplinary broaden our horizon which make us develop new ideas. I, along with the many, hold the view that, cross-disciplinary will definitely broaden people’s scope of mind to invent better things.

Framework 1 引入新概念

TS1: People can get inspiration from different fields of knowledge.
      Eg. Elon Musk who is an interdisciplinary expert that good at AI, philosophy, physics and so on. Different subjects offer him different views about his work
TS2: Cross disciplinary provides stout base for better design.
      Eg. Alipay design ‘Alipay air’ that use such technologies as front-projected holographic display, Internet of Things.
TS3: From the curricula of university we can figure out that even the professional courses are consist of different fields of lessons.
    Eg. Most of universities in US, students are required to finish general lessons during their first no matter what major they are.

遇到问题：想不出例子。。。觉得我的切入点也不太好 写的特别懵

MargueritexyUID: 3788684

27 In any field of inquiry, the beginner is more likely than the expert to make important contributions.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

我用的是第三种方式构建框架，将领域分为三种不同类型。

我的提纲如下：

开头段
As we all know, no matter in which field, there are always combinations of beginners and experts, keeping there remain innovations and kinds of experience. Which is more important to make contributions? I think it is hard to judge and a better way to explain this question is to consider it critically rather than simply regard the beginner as important contribution maker. Beginners have little limitation by empiricism and much creative ideas while experts have much tools and stimulation of researches which have been done before to avoid some unnecessary attempt or study.

TS1: In some fields, the beginner is more likely to make important contributions than the expert.
e.g.  Newton: in his early career— many important contribution such as theory of gravitation
             in his late career— addicted in Philosophy and Theology

TS2: But in some other fields, the expert can play a more important role in contributions than the beginner.
e.g. Apple Inc——experts and specialists full of experience design and produce high-quality smart phones

TS3: And also, there are some fields experts and beginners are equal to important contributions.
e.g. people major in literature such as novelists, they need much stimulations of knowledge, technique of writing and creative ideas.
    Philosophy——beginner can come up with new idea to solve some questions and problems while experts can prove and conduct those methods and theories

中间段写作练习（TS2）：
In some fields which rely on the development of technology and advanced science, the expert play a more important role in making contributions than the beginner. In those areas, anything new must build on the basic knowledge and technology of science, which have already formed a model and a fixed frame. Anything new would come from the basic theories of science. There is a typical example—— the Apple Inc. When the Steve Jobs led some experts to explore new technology and improve the quality of smart phones, the company began to strive and be stronger. People regard him as “ the godfather of Apple Inc.” because he help the Apple open the door to best-selling and high quality. Without those efforts of experts to explore core technology and to achieve the aim of high quality, there would be no success of the Apple. Therefore, in the technological and scientific fields, the expert is more likely to make important contributions than the beginner.
我的感想和困惑：
每个主题句下列举几个例子比较合适呢？我觉得自己在举例方面比较吃力，还应该多积累，以后会更好。

关于22楼：
1）提纲的框架是否合理？
合理
2）提纲所用的例子是否合适？
我觉得同学主题句1有点绝对化，就是说年轻人的东西都比较不成熟周虑，只有老一辈的人才可以写出佳作。例子不能很好地证明这个观点。
3）开头段语言方面有哪些问题？  
没有

GoldenStringUID: 3787185

122)The best way to understand the character of a society is to examine the character of the men and women that the society chooses as its heroes or its role models.



Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

我的提纲如下，采用第二种方法：
TS:Before corporations starts to develop new products, they hope to learn about the character of the socirty as soon as fast. Somebody suggest that researchers can analyse heroes or role models selected by the society as these excellent people stand for the highest pursuit of the whole society. However, I do not think that one or two heroes or role models can represent the trend of the socirty as society is so complicated and hunman beings are complicated themselves too, including heroes and role models. Maybe someone argue that the proposed approach is the best for its convenience .But I would suggest that we can analyse the behaviors of common people by an advantageous way in the internet age.

ts1:Heroes or role models are always shiny and perfect, whose experiences deserve learning and admiration. But what we know about the heroes or role models is what they want to let the public know.Some essential factors contributing to their success which we ignore or don't know don't give external publicy.
eg: Bill Gates,  high school droptout, establish Microsoft corporation successfully, we ignore his family background, that time background and  his unique experiense.Everyone is an unique individule. His success can not be copied and so he can't represent the character of the whole society combined by all kinds of people..

ts2:Many commercial interests lie behind the behaviors of heroes or role models .
Heroes or role models endorse products to be a spokesperson .They reflect the highest pursuit that the companies want the public to have.

ts3.Although there are limitation in validity, but we can't deny its convenience of collecting data information. Nevertheless, we can do online questionnaire surveies and then conduct technical analysis in the age of internet , which is more convenient and comprehensive

我的困惑：写ts1比尔盖茨那段时候，想证明的是model并不能代表所有人，即整个社会。因为人人不同，皆不可copy。感觉有点跑题了？不知大家怎么看待？

点评：34楼
1）框架合理，清晰有序，从三个方面，科学/政治/艺术去论证
2）例子的话，我觉得已经很充分了，关于ART的话，服装设计其实更注重灵感和创新，包括设计创新和衣服材料的创新，现在不是出现3D服装吗？这个可以建议一下作者。
3）语言方面就不过的评论了，总体没什么明显差错。

bigheiniuUID: 3814202

Issue 43 提纲
No field of study can advance significantly unless it incorporates knowledge and experience from outside that field.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.


我是指出吸收外面知识可能存在的两个坏处, 以及吸收外界知识的一个好处.

开头:
    Right now, people think that absorbing outside knowledge give researcher comprehensive knowledge that can boost the development of researching. However, I disagree with this opinion, because it omits the potential bad influence if researcher spend extra time to other trivial areas instead of focusing on their own areas. Besides, the information or experience in other areas transported to current areas may not correctly work.

1. absorbing other areas knowledge may be not as useful as supposed.
e.g. Artificial Intelligence, firstly imitate the structure of human brain.
支撑:
        Its speed of calculation is very slow compared to the 1980s computer.
        Besides, it is not reliable often get wrong answer after particular interval time[时间间隔].
Thus, making computer that incorporate the information from the human brain does not have positive influence of the development of computer.


2. transporting other researcher's successful experience in current study can cause incompetence.
       
e.g.
        Chinese economy, follow the policy in Russia.
支撑:
        肉体支撑: My grandfather experienced starvation and the country he lived in are in poverty after the implementation of the strategy.
        理论支撑: The largest amount of residents in china is farmers, but in Russia is labor workers.
        Absording other's experience omits the particular situation in China bring the incompetence.




让步:
3. albeit, comprehensive knowledge make contribution to the develoment of the reaserching.
e.g.
        doctor using the program in computer to help cure disease.
        computer science students learn math to be profession in areas of artifical intellegence.

In a nutshell, although absorbing the knowledge can play fundamental role in the development of technology, yet it is not the requisite due to the useless knowledge and incompetence experience.   

心玉夕颜UID: 3829123

Issue 99/11


People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.

11) Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

99) Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.


开头段：
To what extent that people could determine their own behaviors is a complicated question.The question has beed discussed for thousands of years but still there is no absolute answer to it. All the people are long for freedom, but freedom is always comparative because people can't get rid of all factors constrained it. In my opinion, peolpe's behaviors have been largely influenced and constrained by the zeitgeists and social circumstance.

中间段1：
Since people live in social enviroment, then, we can't live without contraints from the society.
1)Law, for example, is the most powerful tool to constrain us.
2)The modern society had been dramatically changed by industrialization since 19th. Nowadays, the fruits of industrailization such as electronic devices, IT and machines have promoted our levels of living, and we depend on them so badly that we can't imagine life without them. However,Many people think the way they using smartphones and computers is decided by themselves, however, the fact is that they are controled by these devices and addicted to them.


中间段2：Likewise, at the Age of Big Data, we are inundated by lots of information that we actually don't need. But inevitably, we are subtly influenced by useless information and unconsciously manipulated to make decisions.
For example, advertisment usually use celebrities' fame and fans to entice customers.


中间段3：However, I also admit that people still can make their own choices.
In ancient time, people often couldn't marry the ones they love because of their social status, and culture. But still, many people got over all the hardships and obstacles in order to marry each other in the end. That were their own choices.

结尾：In conclusion, freedom of making our own choices is always relative. But when we realize inequity, we should fight for our freedom.



这个题目真的范围太大，太抽象，根据分析里的结构，我写了一些自己的观点和看法，不知道有没有跑题……

点评38楼
首先，这位朋友写错题号了，是143题哦……

1）____网友提纲的框架是否合理？
框架是合理的，中间段两端支持自己“不同意”的观点，然后第三段让步

2）____网友提纲所用的例子是否合适？
我个人认为这位朋友偏离了。如果是否定题目，那么应该是：即使没有吸收knowledge and experience from outside that field，某个field of study也可以advance。但是作者提出来的反驳是研究人员研究其他领域的知识可能有potential bad influence以及对于吸收到的information or experience是否有用处。将注意力放到了knowledge and experience 上而不是表达是否支持跨界学科研究这种行为。

3）____网友开头段语言方面有哪些问题？  
个人感觉否定的太过于绝对化，尤其是trivial areas这个用法， 其他的学科对某项跨界研究的时候意义不大也不能说人家trivial吧，感觉不好……GRE的作文还是希望更加辩证的态度。

TaylorWUID: 3668665

issue 22/122

Issue 122 study heroes to understand society

122)The best way to understand the character of a society is to examine the character of the men and women that the society chooses as its heroes or its role models.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

TS: Does the hero or the heroines can represent most of the characters of a society? The speaker claim so. While I fundamentally disagree with this assertion, for those elites constitute a tiny part of the society population and can only be positively representative in certain fields. Therefore analyzing them overlooks the complexity of the society. Without further investigations and additional data such claim can only be the starting point of examination but not the essential method of reasoning.

Pt1: the character of a society is a group attribute which mirrored large population while character of the heroes only reflect few people .
-Bill gates donated all of his property and devote himself to charities even after retirement. But this doesn’t mean all society members today are loaded and generous.  

Pt2: Society is never a pluralistic group which includes paradoxes: It has character of justice and crime, affluence and poverty .Yet heroes merely represent the positive side.
-WWII., All people around the world wanted peace and there was George Patton who fight for justice and Hitler who trampled humanity.

Pt3: Admittedly, some people disagree with my opinion assuming that examining the character of heroes in an era could be an effective way to draw a conclusion on the character of contemporary society. The reasoning behind this claiming could be the fact that to some extent , men’s heroic deeds strikes the chord with crowds. However, heroes and heroines are the realistic models in people’s ideal imagination but not the epitomes of reality . In some cases , ironically , it is exactly the opposite side of the society .Caesar , the builder of Empire Rome who defeat intruders and constructed nation finance system for ancient Rome is no wonder a symbol of civil and peace . But at that time the society is unstable and full of chaos .On the other hand, heroes and their deeds are fictional and inevitably being exaggerated by people. Take a close look at the comic character the superman. He fly around to rescue lives. But the initial intention for creating such idea was to express people’s willing to deal with high crime rate 80 years ago. So as far as I am concerned , heroes can be taken into consideration when it comes to analyzing the character of the society when certain events’ reality backgrounds and specific data are added to draw a comprehensive conclusion.

我的困惑和感想
我觉得issue的关键不在于驳倒对方观点而在于全面的分析 所以我在第三段对原有观点进行了分析让步 整体观点属于小正并不是绝对化的观点。

我来点评其他网友
楼层： 39

1）____网友提纲的框架是否合理？
清晰合理 作者先申明两个方面直接影响和潜移默化 所以这里开头段的最后一句 zeitgeists and social circumstance.稍有偏差 如果说法律和电子产品是social circumstance那么广告的潜移默化概括为zeitgeists就有点差强人意 中间段两短论证加让步段并分别举了例子加以证明非常合理
2）____网友提纲所用的例子是否合适？
第一段-合适 第二段-合适 第三段-合适
3）____网友开头段语言方面有哪些问题？  
All the people are long for freedom, but freedom is always comparative because people can't get rid of all factors constrained it.
Comparative 换成prerequisite 或者conditioned 更符合句意

youzi42UID: 3806028

To understand the most important characteristics of a society, one must study its major cities.

   Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.


我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第2种 将the study of major cities 分为三个方面 ： relationship of humans ; the style of architectures ; the history ;

我的提纲如下

开头段全文：
To get a fantastic view of the most improtant characteristics of a society , one must conduct a deep survy of its major cities . Since the fundemental essence of a society is  the human , thus , to invest a society , one have to look into the cities , where the people live . Thus , by have a better understanding of a society , we should focus on its most important symbols of the major cities -- the relationship of human , the architectures and the histories .

主题句1
The relationship between the people of the major cities , can reflect some essential parts of a society , that is , hospital or indifferent , vivid or lack of entusiastism , powerful or poor .
具体例子或细节
the relationship of people between the develped nations and developing nations ;
原因
The more powerful a society is , the more courteous and educated the  people , who lives in major cites , will be . On the contary ,  in poor society , even the major cities the most port of the  people are inevitably rude .

主题句2
Archtectures of a society can most reveal the belief and thinking ways of a society  .
具体例子或细节
arcitectures of the main cities of  pious society , the amazon society
原因
The main cities are the places where the best preserved old  archtectures of a society lies , and the  earliest  cities to form the latest style of the trend of a society . Old and newly-formed architectures can help us get a connection of how the society thinks , from past to recent .

主题句3
When it comes to the fast way to understand the characteristics of a society , it must be to turn to the histories of its main cities .Most improtant events of a society happens in its major cities .
具体例子或细节
the capital cities in middle Aisa ( rich of soil , thus more war or more rich ) ; Beijing (China's long history , thus BJ is the capitals of many dynaties)
原因
The documents of the  histories of the major cities are more and detailed .

关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想或困惑
例子：素材不够
结构：经常写着写着就忘了要联系society和major cities。
语言：句式还是不够灵活。

wanghaitao199391UID: 3704441

继续用辅助模式
Issue 122 study heroes to understand society 
122)The best way to understand the character of a society is to examine the character of the men and women that the society chooses as its heroes or its role models.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
我总结出的三个主旨句：
1.每个时代对成功的定义不同，总的来说符合主流社会对成功定义的人才能成为英雄，所以每个时代的英雄反映出的是当时社会的特征。（网红用容貌，衣服和生活方式吸引人们，他们本身反映出当下社会互联网影响人们生活的现象。）
2.英雄和榜样拥有更多的社会资源，能够影响人们的价值观，所以能够通过考察英雄获得社会的性格。（以马云受欢迎，28定律为例）
3.尽管在一些人看来沉默的大多数人才能反映社会性格，但是其实我们对他们知之甚少，如果有人因为愤世嫉俗而出名，那他本人也是一个榜样。（历史课本上只有名人,犬儒主义。）
第一步；请利用同意转换(paraphrase)的方式介绍要讨论的问题作为文章的开头
Scholars and researchers are always looking for some method to understand the character of a society.
As a result, these men and women cannot serve as a realistic sample for us to understand the society.   
第二步；用一句话概括三个论点为主旨句
I agree that one should examine the heroes and role models chosen by the society as these outstanding figures represent the society’s highest ideals，because heroes and role models always reflect the mainstream society’s ideals and values.
第三步：将三个主题句用自己的话复述
1.In different time, there are different definition about success, generally, only those who make contribution to society can be called heroes and models, so heroes and models can reflect the character of society about what is success.
2.Owning many resources and power, heroes and models can influence the way proletarian people thinking and doing things, and this constitutes the main stream character of a society.
3.Although someone thinks that heroes and models can not represent all the people, actually, we don’t pay attention to the silent majority. What’s more, once a pedestrian makes him or her heart by us, he or she is a hero or model to some extent rather than a nameless one.
第四步：每个主题句下加一行例子和例子能支撑论点的理由
Example
1.Internet celebrities attract many people by their good appearance and relaxed way of living, just reflects the situation of our society that money is all.
2.Jack Ma earned welcome around the world by his success in Electronic Business. There goes a 8-2 theory that the 20% elites enjoy 80% of the resources on the earth.
3.Open a history book, there are all the names of heroes and models, because they write the history. If some ordinary people challenge the authority of elites triumphantly, these people are no longer pedestrians, they become new heroes and models.  

中间段写作练习
“Although someone may think that heroes and models can not represent all the people in our society, but the truth is that we don’t pay attention to the silent majority. When open a history book, there are all the names of heroes and models, because they write the history. Once a pedestrian makes him or her heart by us, he or she is a hero or model to some extent rather than a nameless one. If some ordinary people challenge the authority of elites triumphantly, these people they become new heroes and models.”

对楼上同学的点评：
例子和论点结合的很紧密，挺有说服力，像你自己说的确实应该多照应主题句~；三个分论点都是正面的，说主要城市怎么怎么好，我个人意见可以从反面证明一下小城市为什么不行，会更有说服力，堵上那些想抬杠的人的嘴，仅供参考啦。
而且你的语言挺好的，值得我学习。

Joker—XYZUID: 3508086

2. To understand the most important characteristics of a society, one must study its major cities.
?? Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第1种?提出新观点 大城市是国家的名片  大城市的发展依靠国家其他部分  大城市只是社会的一部分
我的提纲如下：
开头段全文：
It is argued that people must study its major cities to understand the most important characteristics of a society. I think that majors cities are only the most fashion and advanced parts of a country. The whole society has its root in smaller cities and rural areas. They play a fundamental role in society and provide major cities with resources free products to human.
主题句1
Major cities are the best introductions of countries. They concentrate top resources in the whole country and represent the country to the world.

Example:It reminds people of the New York City When people talk about America. This shows the unforgettable impression leaved by big city.
主题句2
On the other hand,mayor cities' development based on other smaller cities and rural area.

Example:Good students who come from smaller cities and rural area go to study in mayor cities. Then they may settle down in the mayor cities and take parts in mayor cities' development.
主题句3
Society is a complicated system,so major cities are only a part of it.

Example:In developing and undeveloped countries,the major part of population is living in area. However,more people are living in cities in developed countries Societies in different states have their own characters. Major cities cannot on behalf of the whole country.

中间段3
Society is a complicated system,so major cities are only a part of it. Rural areas have basic contributions which should not be ignored. In developing and undeveloped countries,the major part of population is living in rural area. However,more people are living in cities in developed countries. Societies in different states have their own characteristics. Major cities cannot on behalf of the whole country.

关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想或困惑
举例是否紧贴主题
单词过于简单 欢迎指导

LynnHanUID: 3788778

The most effective way to understand contemporary culture is to analyze the trends of its youth.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

Key words：Contemporary culture-当代文化。这个定义真的太广了，感觉很难入手。所以采用第2种方式展开-considering issue in different contexts.研究年轻人是effective ways：①easily affected by different culture（易受影响） ② constantly change by trends of culture(适应性)③frequently interaction in social media (互动性强，容易观测)

TS:Having efficient and vivid access to multi-media,young people are exposed to various type of culture in this age.One may argue that,studying the trends of youth bring insightful perspectives in contemperary culture.I strongly agree with this claim since youth population show more tendency to be affected by different thoughts and cultures.Moreover, interaction within social media are anticipated ,so there are more relative data and culture inclination to be collected and analysed.

TS1: Different groups of people form the dominant forces that shape contemporary culture.It is not deniable that youth value are more easily affected by different people compared to that of elderly.Resulting that young peole are the reflection of their parents,teachers,peers,which might have all sorts of culture backgrounds.
Example-Students studying in international school are exposed to different cultures .Studing their proclivity and attitude towards contemporary culture is efficacious since they are the reflection of culture diversity.

TS2-Secondly，youth behavior change constantly in accordance to culture trends.By viewing and analysing their changes in music preference,consumption behaviour ,etc.Researchers can look into comtemporary culture in dynamic perspects.
Eg.consumption behaviour .like buying cloths.compared to acient time

TS3-the data can be collected from internet or other social media (big data)
Eg.facebook  wechat  website visiting

我的困惑：
速度不够，例证积累的也不多。准备好好看看范文多学习下句式和例证。
点评32楼
1）____网友提纲的框架是否合理？
从important characters的几种展开来写，我觉得没有什么问题。
2）____网友提纲所用的例子是否合适？
确实都是中国的例子，感觉可以再多元一些。话说感觉和展开的那几点pop culture, conventional culture and the living condition of people。好像对应的不是很上。比如说第一个讲GDF，应该对应的哪个呢?
3）____网友开头段语言方面有哪些问题？
句式很丰富，表达也蛮到位的。用的是让步的写法。

天行九歌UID: 3653380

9. In any field of endeavor, it is impossible to make a significant contribution without first being strongly influenced by past achievements within that field.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
(首段，表明要分成三个情况，过去无经验可考的情况下，现代知识体系很完备的情况下，以及正在发展的新领域)
While it’s true that in many circumstances,whether a person could make a significant contribution could partly due to his influence by the past achievements within that field such as the engineers who use the existed knowledge to different areas to change people’s lifestyle.However,it could not be regard equally as the criterion to judge the possibility of human’s contributing abilitys.For people in different ages ,established field and fresh original areas,things could be totally distinct.
（第一段，例子：牛顿的力学体系，弗洛伊德的精神分析，都是在前人不完善知识体系下的创新）
Consider the human in the past,the contributions and inventions are usually groundbreaking since there is not so much experience to consult.In science field,outstanding scientists were hardly remembered by repeating the same strategys or methods as the ancient people.Actually,it’s those brilliant minds who create a brand new concept or theory that were honored as the shining star of the history.Take Newton,the well-known celebrity in physics field,as an illustration,he create the classic system of force’s regular and propose the 3 laws of force,which are now the foundation of current world’s most techonology.However,the human before him could not even propose a integrate system to interprete the phenomenon and regular between force and and their life.In this condition,he could not even find any relevant resources to assist himself achieve this accomplishment.Also,there are people like Shakespere who set the standard of drama, freud who try to establish the system of psychology analysis,for those outstanding people.It’s not possible to make contribution without first being strongly influenced.
（第二段，例子：工程师应用力学解决生活中的问题，经常用到过去的经验）
When it comes to the current world,the same topic needed to be considered from different aspects and the conclusion has to be modified.As the comprehensiveness and advancement of current society’s function,compared with the ancient society，researchers could always get thorough and detailed literature of past experience of any field to consult,as well as well-sposored laboratory and asssotions to ask for support,most people make contributions with the help of the past experience.For example,since the integration of classic force system,it’s always difficult for the mechanical engineers to do groundbreaking jobs for the society since this field has almost been researched thoroughly.If he doesn’t consult the past experience,there are great possibilities that he is repeating the ancient job which is useless.
（限时没写完，后来补上的）（第三段，新事物可能是参考了过去，也可能是自己推陈出新）
Nevertheless,as the development of human civilization,there are always fresh things spring from the century’s corner.whether these things were or will be influenced by the past experience,it all depends.For instance，just decades ago,no one could forsee the flourishment of computer science,and it still has so much undiscovered potential to change the world.As a current heated topic,big data has been applied to several fields to analyse,predict and control events.Such as collecting data to control the traffic conditions,using human’s body parameter’s to determine how to cure a disease.These applications are all on the scheme of the concept of big data,which could be regarded as the influence of past experience.However,the concept of big data itself was completely a whole new thing that bring out by creative minds with little experience to consult.Thus,we could not set a decided conclusion for the influence of past experience
（总之，虽然会有影响，但应该把contribution和实现它的人结合所处从的环境下来考虑，）
In general,whether to make a contribution doesn’t largely depend on the past experience,though maybe sometimes its influence may decide many things,we need to consider the contribution itself and the person  who did it according to its circumstance.