Issue114---不知道这样写可以吗，主要是对题目的理解！求砖！！！！

RikkuUID: 170558

Issue114  第8篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
部分同意，部分反对
1. 人性进步小，甚至有所退步
2. 人类的整体生存环境有所改善
3. 技术不能改变人类的生存环境
结尾-----完
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：45分46秒     615 words
从2004年11月3日23时32分到2004年11月4日0时45分
------题目------
Humanity has made little real progress over the past century or so. Technological innovations have taken place, but the overall condition of humanity is no better. War, violence, and poverty are still with us. Technology cannot change the condition of humanity.
------正文------
It is true that there is more apathy between people in modern society. Greed, hatred, cheat are filled with the world. So I agree with the speaker that little real progress in humanity has been made over the past century and technology cannot change the condition of humanity. But the improvement of overall condition of humanity has indeed taken place.

To begin with, there are several evidences to support this point view that humanity has made little real progress. We usually define humanity as compassion, sympathy, beneficence, and so on. As a matter of fact, these excellent moral characters are less and less in our society. For one self’s benefits, people seldom help with each other. Everyone only think that how he or she does he or she is safe and receive benefits despite how poor others' conditions are. A report from Beijing International Marathon, as an example, has shaken many people. At the end of the match, a Chinese student from a university in Beijing, suddenly felt down, and many Chinese were standing around him. But on one helped him, just looked at him. Finally, it is a foreign racer that sent him to the hospital. Unfortunately, it was too late. A young life had gone away. Maybe the example is extreme, but it at least reflects something of the current condition of society to some extent. In fact, not only apathy between people, but also greed, enmity and deceive are full of our society. Almost every day’s news is related with the negative side of the humanity, such as business deceives, national conflicts, malversation and so on. Having seen all these, the humanity may even deduce to some extent, let alone real progress.

In addition, the overall condition of humanity has indeed improved, where the humanity means the human beings. Though wars, violence and poverty are still with us, the condition is much better than that of tens of years ago. Now wars have been restricted in some certain areas, which is a progress compared with the world war Ⅰand Ⅱ that spread to the whole world, both of which had brought the world a destructive disaster. With the development of the international trade, many former impoverished nations have undergone a great increase. Poverty is disappearing, at least less and less people is suffering from starvation. The rapid development of some developing countries is a good example. And laws have been established in order to prevent women and children from violence in many countries. The rapid development of technology in medicine has made many people get out of the suffering of some diseases--which were fatal in the past--to a great extent. Therefore we have reason to expect that the overall condition of humanity will be better and better.

Finally, yet technology itself cannot change the condition of humanity, since many social problems cannot be solved by technology. Conflicts or wars, which are caused by different cultures, religion or national enmity, can only be resolved by human beings, because technology cannot change our belief, value and world view, and the only thing it can do is to promote our efficiency and make our lives more colorful and comfortable. Therefore, the best way to solve these stubborn social problems is to make more communication and to try understanding with each other at one's best.

in conclusion, the speaker's claim is partly reasonable. More and more evidences show that though great achievements of technology have come into being, the humanity has had little progress. Technology itself has on ability to change the condition of humanity, which can only improved by human beings ourselves. Unfortunately, the overall condition of humanity has been improving constantly.

RikkuUID: 170558

我理解的第一个humanity是人性

后面的condition of humanity是人的生存环境

不知道可以不可以

求砖！！！！！！！！！！！11

zhujingUID: 179561

我的理解：
the tremendous influence of technology is evident in impoving our living condition--- medical care, information technology

With the respect to humanity- the nature of human beings-- it has  also be bettered. Consider numerous literary and artistic works which arose people's awareness of spiritual world. Clssical works of Shakepeare, movies that inspire deeply thoughs about ourselves- Star War.  Consider legislation system, contemporary society concerns more with it justice and fairness....

Admittedly, technology can not change human nature, because improvement of humanity ultimately relies on progress of civilization, which embraces much broader concerns than technology. But technology could to some extent facilitate progress of humanity.

其实我认为你的观点可以的，观点能阐述下去就行了。

xiaoheUID: 162707

在这个命题中，我更倾向于将humanity理解为人类。这样，我理解命题的关键是说“技术并没有消除或减少人类进步中的战争、暴力、贫穷，因而未能使人类的生存环境有所改善，也就谈不上人类有多少进步”。这个进步是个宽泛的概念，应该已经包含“人性”这一部分了。重点应是“技术进步”和“消除或减少战争、暴力及贫穷等威胁人类进步的因素”之间的关系。

不管取哪个意思，我觉得双重定义一个关键词容易出问题。因为我们作为外国人，对词的理解不一定十分到位，扣得太细反而容易弄偏。而且全文的重点也可能会由深入分析一个问题变成对不同文字含义的浅层次解释。所幸有这种倾向的命题极少。如果楼主觉得我这样说有道理，不妨考虑重新构思一下这篇文章。

当然我不是认为哪种写法一定错，只是各自会有一些不同的理解而已。

根据我以上第一段提到的理解，我觉得此文中B1举的例子不够好。应该举一个例子，说明虽然技术进步了，但人类的丑恶面（or whatever）并没有因此改善。如“粮食高产技术已经相当成熟，世界上的饥荒却没有因此改善”之类的例子。

其他如行文层次和语言之类都没问题。语言有点小毛病，但不影响表达，可暂忽略了。

以上观点欢迎交流。

RikkuUID: 170558

谢谢

我觉得你提到的粮食产量提高了，人们还是饥肠辘轳这个例子很好

我收了哈，谢谢

poohUID: 146994

humanity正确的是mankind，我赞同xiaohe的观点，不要把它仅仅理解为什么人性，这是个包含甚广的概念，包括任何有关人的物质和精神的范畴。因此也不好说到底humanity是进步了还是退步了，这取决于你对它的定义，你所考察的范围，你看问题的角度。

比如，你说人们更道德了，更关爱人了，现在设立了很多慈善机构，你也可以说贫富差距更大了，穷人根本看不起病。

你可以说information techology带来了更多的信息，使我们解决问题更快了，从另一个角度，你也可以说人们面对flooding information更难做出判断，efficiency降低了。

总之，写这篇文章一定要把思维发散出去，关于humanity的可写的内容多着呢，再就是选好一个立场大胆写。 也可以3个body从三个方面来写humanity,比如选择人性角度，选择convenience角度等，或许每段会得出不同的结论，这也可以。

楼主这样写可以的，不过body1的例子的确不太合适。如果思路再开阔写就好了。

aupreshUID: 185592

我也赞同xiaohe的观点，一道题里不宜对一个词双重定义。
另外，我感觉第二段是说几乎没有进步，第三段是说还是有所改善，这两段之间好像不是in addition的关系吧。

RikkuUID: 170558

恩，谢谢大家的砖

我想这样改一下：把humanity定义为人类，第2段改为人类的真正进步标准难以界定

所以不同的人有不同的观点

例子就举楼上几位的

看看这样可以不？